A/N: Here comes some interesting stuff. Hope you guys enjoy and don't freak out.
Summary: Allura has been hiding a secret from the Paladins, something painful from her past forced her to remain quiet. However that all changes when she finds a beloved object of someone she held dear. A simple pendant that hangs around the Blue Paladin's neck. Altean!Lance
Chapter Fifteen
Lance shakily took his seat across from the others, Allura's eyes never leaving him. He really pushed himself too hard the other day and the battle that followed really did a number on him. During the battle on Thesaryx, he was able to locate Shiro. Towards the end of the battle, right before they were about to make a jump, Lance felt the ribbon wrap around his hands. He turned his lion around to see one lone Galra pod flying after them as fast as it could, which wasn't very.
The others joined him and Keith was able to pick up the pod. He confirmed moments later that Shiro was inside, weak, but very much alive. The paladins all celebrated, it was the happiest moment they had, had in a long time.
That was two days ago.
Shiro spent majority of those two days in the healing pod, but currently he was out and sitting in the lounge. Pidge and Hunk were talking animatedly to Shiro about all that's happened, Keith had been giving some input of his own, but watched mostly. When Shiro had first arrived his hair was past his shoulders, he had a beard and mustache. It was certainly a different look than the Paladins were expecting. Though once he was out of the pod, he cut his hair and shaved the facial hair off. He looked the way they all knew him too.
Lance wanted to make a comment on it, but when he took that breath to speak he felt the nausea crash into him again. The nausea had started out barely noticeable, until now it was a constant struggle for him not to throw up everything he ate. He was thrilled to have Shiro back, happy he was able to bring him back, but he couldn't enjoy it too much.
He was miserable.
Lance leaned back, his most recent memories were the ones that were starting to fade and he couldn't even bother to try and swim to get them back. He tried, but the water made his nausea unbearable. A headache had come and refused to leave him alone. Not to mention with what he had done last night.
Keith took a seat beside Lance, he asked softly, "Hey, are you feeling okay? You look a bit pale."
Flashes of Lance pushing himself last night entered his mind. Two dish towels soaked in blood from his nose bleeds, his throat still her from the sobbing into his pillow. It was worth it though, he found Matt and he located Keith's family. Three dots, three locations. Now wasn't the time to tell him that though, Lance wasn't sure he had any time left.
He left a note in his room, on his bed. He hoped one of them would find it if he disappeared, like he thought he would. Allura hadn't been thrilled with him last night, or really at five this morning when she put the towels away ans gave him some medicine. Judging by her gaze, he knew she was still upset. Plus with what happened the night before.
Lance tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace, "Oh yeah, I'm just fine. Tired is all."
"Liar," Allura whispered to herself, but loud enough for Keith to hear.
Keith frowned, he looked back at Lance who was now trying to stand. However it was too much and Lance fell back into his seat, he fake yawned in order to avoid the worried gazes. It didn't work.
Hunk and Pidge hadn't seen that much of Lance as of late, but everytime they did see him, he looked worse than the previous times. Hunk noticed it more because Lance was his best friend. He knew all of the former blue paladin's quirks, how he acted in whatever mood he was in and could instantly tell that something was seriously wrong with him now.
Ever since the battle that allowed them to bring Shiro home, Lance had looked like someone had beaten him up repeatedly. Hunk had spoken to him the night of Shiro's return, when he found Lance curled into a fetal position in the hallway.
"Lance, are you okay, what happened," Hunk asked as he knelt beside his friend.
Casimir looked at him with a hazy expression, he didn't recognize this teen kneeling over, but he also felt as if he had met him once before. Perhaps he was a new servant? No, wait he didn't have any sickle marks. He wasn't Altean. That was odd, but Casimir supposed that it wasn't unlikely.
"I, I don't-" Casimir stopped sharply as he felt something rise in his throat.
Memories rushed through his mind as he threw up the very little dinner he had the previous night.
Lance, his name was Lance. He wasn't Casimir, not now. This couldn't happen yet.
Hunk put a hand on Lance's back, "It's okay, you're okay. Just, just hold on alright. Let me get-"
"No," Lance choked out hoarsely, "Don't get anyone. Just bring me back to my room, please Hunk."
Hunk had honestly been terrified to leave Lance alone, but once he got Lance back to his room, he sent a quick message to Allura that Lance was sick. A few minutes later, she arrived with medicine and water for him to drink, much to Lance's annoyance and gratitude.
With that, Hunk left the siblings to try and get some sleep, but to no avail. Of course he was thrilled to have Shiro back, but now he realized that Lance was running out of time. That didn't sit well with him, Lance was like his brother and he couldn't imagine him not being there.
Shiro spoke to Lance then, surprising everyone, "Lance, you really don't look okay. You should rest."
Lance lifted his head weakly to look at Shiro, "I'll rest later. For now, now we need to focus about the task at hand."
"Currently, all we can do is keep an eye out for the comet's signature that Lotor stole and work on overtaking any outposts," Allura said with a tone of finality.
"The nearest outpost is around seven days away," Keith added, "That gives us some time to regroup and come up with some game plans. It should also give two of our own a chance to recover from their ordeals."
Lance stood up sharply, ignoring the dizziness he argued, "There isn't any time for us to just wait-"
He couldn't ignore the spinning any longer and swayed on his feet, Keith being the one to jump up and steady Lance. Allura was on her feet next, terror in her eyes.
"Please Lance, you have to rest," Allura said sternly, a tone he hadn't heard in thousands of years, "You are going straight to your room, do you understand?"
Lance barely managed a scoff, "You grounding me?"
Allura's nostrils flared, "Lance."
Lance narrowed his eyes at her, he pushed Keith away to stand on his own, "I'm not invalid, I'm okay. I just, I don't feel all that great, but I'm-"
Lance inhaled sharply as another wave of nausea hit him, he bent forward slightly at the force of it causing Allura and Keith to be right by his sides. Hunk, Pidge and Shiro were on their feet as well in an instant, each filled with their own worry and terror for their teammate. Allura ended up supporting more of Lance's weight as he no longer trying to stand, he just fell into her arms.
He wanted to pass out, at least then he wouldn't have to feel so bad right now. A choke breath escaped him, everyone was talking, but they sounded distant and muffled despite them all being so close to him. He tilted his head to the side, he heard a heartbeat that was a bit faster than normal, but the rhythm was soothing enough.
His eyelids were heavy, he didn't have the energy to keep them open so he closed them. However he opened them sharply when a thought came to him. What if when he closed his eyes, it would be the last time he did as Lance? And when he woke up, he would be Casimir.
"I don't know want to forget," Lance whispered to no one in particular, but everyone stopped speaking to look at him, "I don't want to forget who I am."
Allura's grip tightened, "And you won't, alright I promise."
He released a shallow breath, "Hate to break it to you, but you're, you're about to break that promise."
Coran appeared by his side next, everyone had backed away to see what he would do. Lance stared up at Coran for a moment, memories from another life entered his mind as he recognized the orange haired Altean. Coran was like an uncle, or really more of a godfather if Lance was being honest. He was glad to have known him in this life and the other one.
"This is it huh," Lance said sadly as Coran looked him over.
Coran nodded stiffly, "I'm sorry my boy." He looked at the others. "There is nothing more we can do, we need to get him to a healing pod now."
Lance barely registered that he was being lifted. The only reason he had been able to tell because he caught a flash of red in his vision before closing his eyes. He didn't want to forget, he didn't want to accept it. Despite all his flaws and struggles, he liked who he was as Lance. Being Casimir, he didn't want to be Casimir. He wanted to be Lance.
Keith was carrying him to the pod as quickly as he could, everyone racing after him. It had been this hovering cloud that Lance would disappear, Keith had did his best to ignore it, but now that time had come where he couldn't get rid of it. Lance was here, in his arms and fading fast. He hated this. Anger had been the first emotion to register, but next came the overwhelming amount of guilt.
This was his fault. Lance could have had more time, Allura and Coran could have had more time to find a solution if he wouldn't have pushed Lance so hard. If he wouldn't have been so focused on Shiro, he would have recognized that Lance wasn't strong enough to handle it. Keith gripped Lance tighter, he couldn't lose his friend, not after everything.
Lance chuckled, "You, you've done this before. Carried me I mean,"
Keith blinked, but kept his eyes ahead, "I guess I have. Just hang on okay, you'll be fine."
"I won't remember you," Lance said sadly as Keith entered the infirmary.
Keith panted slightly from the running, but still quickly made his way to the nearest pod. It was open, so he set Lance down on his feet, though the transitioning altean held his jacket tightly in his shaking hands. There was true fear in Lance's eyes and Keith had to wonder what it must be like. How did it feel to know that you were going to lose your memories of everyone you loved in a matter of time.
He knew it was hard for himself and the others, but Keith realized in that moment as he looked down at Lance how much worse it was for him. Lance, who used to be inches taller than him, now stood at Pidge's height. Lance who's hair was a rich chocolate brown that hung over his forehead and ears was now stark white. Lance who always cracked jokes and wanted to make everyone smile now could barely manage one on his own. Keith felt fear swirl in his chest and misery. He already lost so much and now, he was going to lose his rival turned friend.
"I, I need to tell you something," Lance said, his voice raw as if he had been screaming.
"What is it," Keith asked with a frown.
"I, I," Lance stumbled, he couldn't say it, "Just, make, make sure you go to my bedroom. There's a note for you."
The others came rushing in. The former blue paladin looked back at Keith with pleading eyes, trying to convey a different message without words, but it was lost on Keith. He had no idea what the message Lance was trying to send him could be. And before he could press for more, he was moved to the side by Allura and Coran who were working on the pod.
Lance didn't protest as he stepped back inside the pod. He looked at everyone and realized this would likely be the last time he saw them with his memories in tact. Tears slipped down his cheeks, he didn't bother to stop them.
"I just wanted to say thanks," Lance told them with a wry smile, "Thanks for everything. Thanks Hunk for being my first friend at the Garrison, thanks Pidge for putting up with my jokes, thanks Shiro for having faith in me. Thanks, thanks Coran for looking out for me and thanks Allura for being a great sister and friend… Keith… thanks for being my friend… I, I-"
Lance's eyes close and he leaned back against the pod as the glass came down. The darkness consumed him and he said goodbye as memories of his life as Lance fizzled away.
Allura pressed her hands to the glass as Lance slid down the pod's wall until he was on the floor, his head tilted to one side. She called on her magic and connected with his and found something that forced a cry from her throat and true fear into her heart.
"His life, his energy, it's fading," Allura said horrified.
"Fading, what do you mean fading," Hunk asked anxiously.
Coran answered quickly, "She means he could die. That we could lose both Lance and Casimir."
"What," Keith shouted, he clenched his hands into fists, "How is that possible?"
Coran shook his head, "I, I don't know. The magic could be overwhelming his system, or it could be that the illness he contracted, this is something worse than we thought or it-"
"We don't need what it could be, we need to know what it is and how to stop it," Keith interrupted, his eyes alight with anger.
Allura pressed her head to the glass, "No, I will not lose him again. Coran, step back."
"Allura, what are… " Coran started, but stopped when he realized what she planned to do.
Allura was going to draw the magic out of him. It was too much for him to handle, they should have realized sooner than combining their magic would have had this affect. It was just, this hadn't been done in thousands of years and they had no idea of the effects, there were no records and still they felt as if they should have known.
Allura felt this more than Coran. It was supposed to be her job protecting him and she had continued to fail him in that department. As the healing pod continued to do it's thing, Allura called on her magic and he pod glowed brighter than before. The paladins and Coran watched in awe as the pod continue to glow brightly and speck of that light filled the room.
She pulled the excess magic out of him, the ribbon like feeling that Lance talked about brushed her finger tips and she grabbed a hold of it as quick and as tight as she could. The light from the alteans grew even brighter until it was impossible to see. Then, it was gone. Allura took a slight step back from the pod, but her hand was still pressed to the glass.
Lance smiled at her, "Goodbye princess Allura, maybe one day, I'll see you again like this."
"Goodbye Lance," Allura whispered so softly, no one heard her.
The pods glass door opened. No one moved let alone breathed as they waited for the smoke surrounding their friend to clear. The last few strands of brown hair disappeared, only white hair remained. By the looks of it, he had shrunk yet again to the surprise of everyone except Allura and Coran.
Casimir had been short for his age. Though he should be around the equivalent of a twelve-thirteen year old in earth years, the Paladins weren't sure he appeared older than ten actually. At least his clothes weren't swallowing him up, they just appeared slightly bigger than before. Allura got down on her knees to be closer to Lance or she supposed now Casimir. He looked the same as he did on the day she lost him, the last time she saw him. It was strange, it made her want to laugh and sob at the same time.
She rested one hand on his cheek gently, the other on his shoulder, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
His eyes fluttered open revealing crystal blue that matched quintessence. Everything hurt, he felt incredibly heavy and slightly miserable. How he needed up here, he wasn't sure, but Allura was above him so that was a good sign right? Though considering she was holding his cheek and touching his shoulder, he imagined something must be wrong. They weren't supposed to show a lot of affection.
Softly he said, "Allura?"
Allura nodded with a shaky smile, "Hello Lan-Casimir."
He would have questioned her about the slip up over his name, but he paused when he noticed the two were not alone. He recognized Coran beside the strangers, but four strangers dressed in Altean armor was disconcerting. They clearly weren't Altean, so why they were wearing the armor, it made no sense to him.
"Who are they? Why are they here," he asked hoarsely, his gaze found Allura's, "'Lura what's going?"
Allura hesitated, "What's the last thing you remember?"
Casimir frowned, he thought for a moment, "Father, he placed me in the pod- The Galra were here! They, they were trying to take the castle. They came for the lions, we have to protect them."
Casimir jumped to his feet causing Allura to move back, but not far enough that when Casimir fell she couldn't catch him. Uneasily he stood before her as she rose to her feet. However he couldn't stand long, all the energy he had left him in an instant and he fell forward.
Allura caught him, she supported his weight as she told him, "Casimir, it's alright. You're very weak right now. You must rest. For now we're safe, for now it's okay."
"No, it, it can't be right," Casimir spoke quickly, his eyes frantic and glazed over, "Voltron, the lions. Father, he said they had to run. He, he sent me away because of the danger. I was in a pod, I, we didn't say goodbye."
"It's okay, the Galra aren't here, we're safe, I promise," Allura told him.
Casimir inhaled shakily, he felt sick suddenly and wanted to pass out, his wish came true a moment later when his eyes closed without his permission and he collapsed against his sister. Allura exhaled was she caught him. Using her magic, she connected with his own and found that his energy was strong. He would be okay.
She brought her hands under his arms and stood with him. He barely responded, staying most limp in her arms aside from his arm wrapped haphazardly around her neck.
Allura turned around to face the paladins, all watching with mix-matched expressions ranging from sorrow to fear to anger.
A/N: Before everyone goes crazy, Lance won't be gone for long. Shiro's back, Matt and Keith's family have been located, what will happen next? A lot of fun stuff.