Hello everyone - my inspiration for this fic came about whilst i was listening to one of my old favourite songs, 'its not that easy' by Lemar (hence the title!) Anyway, the song holds a lot of similarities with Eddie and Rachel's relationship so i kind of felt compelled to explore that.
As always, i will appreciate any support from you guys:) I really hope you enjoy this story;please let me know what you think x
Rachel slammed her door shut, creating a ricochet of sounds as she collapsed her body against it. Despite being inside, she could sense the ominous clouds rolling in over the sky and imagined that the dark grey would engulf her. Strangely, the weather reflected the last few hours fabulously. All of a sudden, a deep sense of dread hit her. Dread for the rest of her life without Eddie, without their life together.
How would she cope separated from him?
She couldn't - as simple as that. A glimmer of hope coursed through her body, but it was soon discarded by a painful reminder of the reason why this outcome was inevitable.
Her sister was pregnant. And it wasn't just any old baby; it was Eddie's baby. How could she fulfil her roles as both aunt and step mum? She knew it wouldn't be fair on the poor child, not only that, it wouldn't be fair on Eddie. Frankly, Rachel couldn't quite bring herself to care about Melissa; not after her days worth of spite and selfishness.
Rachel allowed her own scream to engulf her. She wished it would drown out her thoughts and drown out her existence. She wasn't quite sure if her life would be worth living without Eddie.
….
The abundance of distressing thoughts swirling around in Rachel's brain were interrupted by a sharp knock. Was that her door? It definitely was, the sound had alarmed her, considering she was still heavily leaning into the oak frame. At first, she thought about ignoring the knock - she was hidden well enough. The persistence of it was the only thing that stopped her. This person obviously wanted to see her….
It couldn't be ….
A look of despair furrowed across Rachel's brow as the knock was heard for a fifth time. It sent an electrical impulse dancing along her spine, and caused her brain to throb at the whirlwind of possibilities. Why was this person being so incredibly impatient? Intending to uncover the truth, she interlocked her fingers with the door handle and almost winced as she pulled it towards her. She doubted that she was ready to discover who was waiting on the other side. Having said that; would she ever be? The mysterious figure suddenly became all too familiar. Nervously, she dared to bring her gaze up to meet his, and locked her eyes with a man she had expected to never see again. Eddie Lawson.
'Rachel,' he spoke her name like he had done so many times before. Now though, it was different - that one word held far more meaning now than it ever did before.
No matter how much she longed for his presence, the look of adoration mixed with sadness etched across his expression just made things ten times worse. He shouldn't have come. If Eddie had just stayed away, then she wouldn't have the option of changing her mind.
Rachel had to choose her head over her heart - be selfless, be a good sister, a decent person. She had a moral duty to put Eddie and his child first. It was the right thing to do; all of the logics were superior to her own feelings.
'Eddie I…' she was treading on ice here, Rachel wasn't quite sure how to play this one.
Head over heart.
Be selfless.
Do the right thing.
'What are you doing here?' The question she settled on came across far more spiteful than she intended. It was clear that her tone had been like a knife to the heart for Eddie.
He glanced down at the floor. Shame engulfed him. Shame and a deep sense of defeat. He had lost the love of his life. There was no going back from this. And the worst part, is that there's no one else to blame but himself.
'I just…' Eddie thought about lying for a split second. He nearly mumbled some utterances about picking up his stuff. But no, he wanted to be honest with her. She deserved that at least, 'I wanted to check how you were holding up,' as Eddie spoke he finally brought his gaze back up to meet hers. His heart shattered instantly. Rachel looked more broken than him. He had never seen her look so full of negative emotions.
It was all his fault. His wrong doing. Why did he ever go anywhere near Melissa? Rachel's sister.
Rachel twiddled her necklace around aimlessly; something that she had become accustomed to doing in situations like the one she found herself in now. She tried to conceal her emotions, conceal her hurt. The tears though, they were unstoppable. Her eyes were full to the brim, until all of a sudden the salty drops began to fall in any which way possible. They cascaded furiously down her red cheeks and cleansed her body of any chance for a future with her and Eddie. This had to end now.
'Eddie I'm sorry… I can't do this, you have to go,' she wasn't quite sure how she managed to speak that sentence without utterly breaking down, it had to be said though. This man was the love of her life, no doubt about it, but Rachel knew what she had to do next. Be a decent person. A good sister. Ironically, the opposite of what Melissa had been.
Rachel placed a light hand on Eddie's chest for the last time and savoured his warmth; before gently pushing him out of the door, out of her life.
'Rachel please don't, I meant what I said,'
You're my first priority.
His pleading words were useless, it was too late. Rachel had closed the door on their relationship and their love. All he knew was that it wouldn't be that easy for him. She would forever be his first priority and the love of his life. What was he going to do without her love?