As always, when he fell into the almost meditative groove of concentration, his hands moved slowly, precisely. Attaining the throne was the next step. Maintaining it, however, would be another issue. With the entire Empire at his disposal, he would possess countless resources and the might to protect them. Yet, with such privilege would come responsibility. His studies in Altean alchemy would be stunted.

Then utilise your time wisely.

Lotor pulled on his boots. It was easier to walk away from the mess of his room when he had a destination. Lotor quickly entered the historical data chambers, which was one of the few places he had unrestricted access.

The half-blood prince sat down at one of the terminals. The Altean machinery flared to life with a whir and flash of blue light. His long fingers typed quickly as he brought up the scanned manuscript which he had glossed over but a few days earlier. Once again, he found himself distracted, lost in the text and gripped with the serenity of becoming entranced with the laws of the universe. Since childhood, he held the ability to relish it. He gave the emotion the same reverence as his time with Allura.

He allowed himself a small moment of youthful pleasure at imagining himself reading the words for the first time, to be the one marking the discoveries with his own hand. Indeed, the sensation was akin to what he felt when he was in Allura's presence, save without the nauseating, pulse-pounding apprehension.

Focus dammit.

The simple act was tainted. He was reminded of an image of his mother. There was no argument that his love of knowledge came from her own spirit. Lotor swallowed loudly. The wave of loneliness that often came with that thought was immense. Over the years, he had grown accustomed to its severe heft. Still, it loomed heavily with the power to push him over the edge if he strayed too close.

A tendril of dissonance touched him. "Don't say it," he said aloud.

How can you miss what you never had?

That was the point. The question incited anger, enough to drive him forward. It was the same method that Lotor had been fighting for millennia. Vengeance and rage kept the gears of war churning. Without it, he doubted he would have lived so long. It festered deep within him. Fear was its only companion buried even further still. His thoughts came tumbling down on top of one another, a sign of exhaustion. The notions were too deep, abruptly souring the morning that had begun so gloriously. He wrenched his eyes from the screen to his hands sitting limply at the alphabet under his fingers.

Blood stained every wrinkle and pore all in the name of what? Knowledge was the most powerful weapon in the universe. Zarkon and Honerva had not been entirely different. With nearly the same strength as his feelings for Allura earlier, doubt poisoned the air.

Your parents held the pursuit of power above even the life of their own son. You can't hide from the truth. You cannot hide from your heritage. You were born this way. You were made to claim knowledge for yourself until no one can topple you.

Lotor's thoughts came to a screeching halt. There was a part of him that could go no further. It was timid and afraid to tarnish the only thing he looked towards. If not for pursuit of knowledge what had he to live for? Even the twisted logic of his mind could not trespass the holy ground.

And for the pursuit of knowledge what will you sacrifice? Will you taint it beyond what your mother accomplished? What if that is the price, my prince?

Lotor closed his eyes, begging the voice to stop.

Your destiny is to consume all you desire. You cannot escape. Submit to the reality. All you love will be stained with your polluted soul. Your mother was corrupted. Your father was despoiled. Knowledge stole that pathway from their filthy, degraded hands. Just take it.

A chill ran down Lotor's spine. He refused to believe it.

Your legacy is the same. Your dirty hands will murder that princess. Nothing you touch is pure. The entity is inside you. Give in. Take what is yours now. Keep fighting; you'll lose. Not even father was that mighty.

The words were a mistake. Rage burst to life under his skin. "I killed father." Fire smouldered in his amber gaze.

"I killed him," Lotor repeated. The chamber fell deathly silent. He suddenly wanted to be in the training rooms where he could release the anger. He wished he could force himself to cry. It was an emotional response Lotor had not expected.

The words bore weight that he had not known he was hoarding. Saying them aloud to the darkness anointed them with clarity. The logic he carried with him, that which had driven Lotor through the ages with a single burning goal, was silent.

"I killed Zarkon. I am more powerful than him." The words gained strength as he spoke to the cold distilled atmosphere. "And Allura is more powerful than me." It stung, but Lotor continued as if purging the weakness from his own soul. The truth reminded him of the scars rolling down his arms, self inflicted yet prominent displays of honesty. I am not my father. Neither is she, hers. Together we are immutable. The weakness of our forefathers is gone; dross burned away

Lotor raised his head tearing his gaze away from his hands. They balled into fists. Once again, he felt the entire world had shifted. "We are stronger."

The statement hung thickly in the air. For several long minutes, Lotor sat alone. Finally, truly, alone.

This marks the end of Act I.

Act II will be up next week same schedule as usual (Sunday [Ao3]/Monday [ffn] updates). Thank you to everyone who has followed thus far and for the wonderful comments. Thanks especially to Shiranai Atsune who has reviewed almost every chapter. BIG shout out to you! I wish you well!

Be sure to stay bookmarked for more Lotor and Allura, new planets, and affairs taking place directly before and during the Kral Zera episodes. Let me know what you think so far or hit me up on Ao3 through the comments! I am very happy to continue the conversation on this ship which I have fallen in love with during this process. :)