Lotor rose early and made his way through the city before the sun had peeked her head over the flat roofed buildings surrounding the hanger where Coran had docked the Castle of Lions. The shimmering rose tint grew as the temperature dropped moments before the sun finished her rise. It was a phenomenon Lotor remembered clearly from his time here so long ago.
Lotor stepped off the hissing platform and took in the place where he would dwell for the coming year. The earthy smell of the dirt buildings, moist from a rare dew, was the first, most overpowering sense to take the prince. At once, he was pleased to have chosen this place. A slow smile spread over his face.
"You must be Prince Lotor," a gruff voice came from Lotor's right.
The newcomer was a tall, built Galra in full military dress. Lotor inclined his head, recognising the man from his briefing in the warship. "And you must be General Naigus?" Lotor countered.
The other Galra was weighing him and seemed surprised the prince knew his name correctly. The tips of his fangs showed themselves. "Ah, you at least read the card. However, it is 'Professor' or 'Doctor'."
Lotor raised an eyebrow sensing the banter as a ploy to test his character or perhaps his wit. "So be it, Professor Naigus." He quickly changed the subject taking in the city with its strange melding of modern and archaic architecture. "You control a beautiful university. I applaud your use of the native distinction."
Lotor felt a strange feeling come over him as Naigus stepped closer, his mind shifting gears as quickly as Lotor's. Naigus' pedigree fur rustled in a subtle sign of happiness, Lotor forced himself no to stare at the lilac whispers shuddering under the other's large erect ears.
"Indeed, I was surprised these peoples were so civilised. It is a serene work environment." Pride oozed from every word. Naigus eyed the prince over. He was watching Lotor for a reaction before he continued, "You will be pleased to stay here, apprentice."
Lotor's heart rate sped up and a foreign notion excited him. There was common interest in Naigus' eyes. The way his gold stare danced over the land as if the Galra was looking upon the territory for the first time. There was wonder and pride and something Lotor could only pin the word 'awe' to in Naigus' voice. It energized Lotor and suddenly he wanted to be close to the man. Hearing himself being referred to as an 'apprentice' held a thrilling experience that was uncommon.
It was absurd but, here, this was a place where he could be free. Even the long arm of his father had not touched this planet. The culture surrounding him proved it. A fellow inquisitive mind was unknown. Lotor took in a deep breath of the cold morning air. His smile broadened. "I think you are very correct, Professor."
Life was so simple back then. He wondered if everyone thought that way about their youth. He assumed it was true, perhaps the most authentic times of his life had been spent around Naigus before the Incident. Now, Allura was offering authenticity in the same vein.
He sighed looking to the soft, rippling clouds putting on blush for the sun's appearance. His emotions were erratic and unreadable so at odds with the peace of the morning. His mind was numb from the combination of regrets and memories this place conjured. Allura was only adding to the confliction. He was certain of one thing, believing her was so much easier than believing himself.
With each new disclosure his warped sense of self collapsed further. Faced with her mirror, he ceased to hold up. Each act of cruelty uncovered would only be more vicious. The futility was enough to drive him to self-destructive behaviour. Sore, sharp pain echoed over his biceps. He absently scratched the hot remnants of last night's coping exercise, which traced their winding paths up from his wrists to his shoulders.
Allura had seen the marks many times now. Her sad soft eyes had lingered obviously during their most private encounters so far. She had never asked about them but Lotor knew she wanted to. He hoped she never did. It was an entirely different issue that did not need opening anytime soon.
His brow furrowed as a new revelation came over him in the serenity. Love was beginning to show itself as messy and oftentimes irrelevant.
"Good morning, Emperor." The characteristic accent came from Lotor's right.
In contrast to his mood, a half smile cracked Lotor's outward stoicism. Naigus was dressed well, as usual. His ears stood relaxed and droopy, frosted with white. The older Galra stood with his hands deep in his pockets and an unreadable expression on his face.
"I knew I would find you here," Naigus stepped beside the prince and matched Lotor's deliberate pace. "Not merely enjoying the weather, I presume."
Lotor quelled the flicker of annoyance that often accompanied the professor's astuteness. In fact, the exasperation of youth was tantalisingly nostalgic. How had they come this far? No longer walking beside the man as an apprentice but as an Emperor? Was Naigus proud?
It was the forbidden question. The only one Lotor had never held the courage to ask.
He should have been experiencing optimism. It seemed the next few days would reap everything he had worked centuries to achieve. Here he stood, addressed as Emperor, in control of the universe's most deadly weapon, and amongst trustworthy allies, who remained viable simply because they cared. Why did he not feel cared for then? Or perhaps he did and was unable to accept that?
The answers eluded him like the day; coming far too slowly.
Lotor feigned a smile. The professor remained patiently waiting, watching the city come alive as workers and students began to leave their homes, scurrying with their arms leaden with briefcases and half-finished experiments taken home for late hours' work.
"I know what brought you here," the older Galra spoke gently.
"Is that so?" Lotor refrained from sighing. Of course, he always knew.
"She knows," Naigus replied vaguely.
A hollow sensation sank Lotor's heart into his stomach. The temptation to close down the conversation was tangible. The only reply Lotor could conjure slipped from his mouth, "How?"
"I know too," Naigus added, not bothering to answer Lotor's question. His amber gaze fished for Lotor's and he slowed down their pace. "This isn't an accusation. I have known for a long time, Lotor."
A small flame of irritation sparked to life in Lotor's soul. Naigus was indeed the same, constantly testing him. "What does it matter?" He asked exasperatedly. His mood slid downward with increasing speed.
"It doesn't." Naigus raised a taloned finger when Lotor opened his mouth to interrupt. "Unless you allow it to. She heard, she thought, and now she will be ready to move forward. Lotor, you have that ability also. When I found out about your involvement in the Incident, I wasn't surprised. But I saw the pain it inflicted on you."
"Nothing shocks you," Lotor said with slightly more venom then he intended to put behind the words. If you knew, then why didn't you stop me? The bitter taste of bile burned the inside of his throat.
"You did." Naigus stopped, locking gazes with his former apprentice.
Lotor fought to maintain the contact as the professor continued,
"You did that to both of us: the princess and me. She expected the Incident was your fault. You told her nothing she did not already know." He searched Lotor's face genuinely seeking a reaction that did not come.
Naigus' wrinkles seemed to deepen. The two lost the moment. For some reason, Lotor felt shame and he was glad the other also turned his eyes to the molten sky. Lotor swallowed, unsure how to feel in that instant.
"When you ordered that bombardment, I saw the regret. She saw it too, yesterday. It wasn't the admission, Lotor. It was the act." His deep baritone was no longer characterised by the sternness the Galra usually carried. "The fact that you admitted it surprised her. She was taken aback at first, but you confessed this thing which haunts you to her. She'll see that. She will realise the faith you put in her."
The professor sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets and turning to watch his beloved city blossom into the morning light.
For several long seconds, the two stood together watching the beauty spring to life like they done many years ago as mentor and student. "I know why you did not tell me. It pains me and humbles me at the same time," the professor concluded. Nothing else was necessary.
The words pierced Lotor's heart. He wondered, once again how the professor knew so much. How did he become so wise? How had they come so far?
The prince balled his fists against the wave of emotions, some good and some agonisingly bad. Silence stood between the two men as the world went on shifting, moving far too quickly for liking.
After some time, Naigus dared to wrap his arm over the youngster's stiff shoulders. It took a second for both of them to relax. He smiled. "Damn, look at that sunrise."