Hi everyone, thank you so much for the wonderful reviews, they mean a lot to me.
I hope you all enjoy this chapter... I think you might. :) x
Rachel slowly brought her eyes up to meet Eddie's, and he noted the vulnerability and disbelief swimming in her hazel orbs. Also recognisable, was their newfound close proximity, and Eddie cursed himself for thinking how easy it would be to simply lean down and press a tender kiss to Rachel's lips. Nothing was that simple.
Despite the complexity of the situation, he found himself wondering if that thought had flashed through her mind too; judging by the slight gasp she succumbed to, Eddie guessed something of the sort had taken place. Aside from this, he didn't want to push it, and risk ruining what they had just reconciled. Rachel was worth so much more than that to Eddie.
"Eddie… I - I can't expect you to do that, Isabelle is your daughter," she spoke and in turn broke the intense yet electrifying silence.
"And you mean just as much to me as she does," eye contact was consistent throughout each word, which was the reason why Eddie became witness to the fresh layer of tears coating Rachel's lower lids. Before Eddie felt he could continue, he shakily brought a hand up in instinct, as a means of brushing the salty residue away. The brunette closed her eyes, not willing for this brief minute of contact to terminate. Sensing this, Eddie gently lowered his right hand to her back before voicing his next thoughts, "I let you walk away from me once, it was the biggest mistake of my life Rachel, it's something that I'll never forgive myself for. Which is why now, there's no chance I'm gonna let you push me away that easily," Eddie allowed his smile to resurface now, hoping Rachel would return the feature, and she did, with just as much meaning.
"That talk… about us, I agree with you, we need to have it," she spoke hushly, somewhat shy in Eddie's opinion. It made his heart melt with sheer adoration. Equally though, he didn't wish for Rachel to push herself into uncomfortable territory, especially given the harrowing events of recent hours.
Eddie's hand shifted smoothly towards Rachel's arm, giving it a light squeeze to highlight the importance of his upcoming words, "only if you're ready. Today has been… difficult Rachel, to say the least. I wouldn't blame you in any way, if it's something you're not quite ready to talk about."
If anything, for Rachel, these comments made her feel more inclined to open up about her real feelings, break down those walls that she had rebuilt so strongly. Eddie's abundance of care and consideration only reinforced Rachel's love for him that very much still remained. So shaking her head rather slowly, she began to reassure Eddie that this was the right time. The right time to reignite what they were once so fabulous at - honesty.
"These past few months without you Eddie, have been some of the loneliest times of my life. Without you… there was just this… this…"
"Hole?" Eddie interjected, perfectly relating to her thought process.
Upon realising the similarities, Rachel sprawled a hand across Eddie's - which still remained on her lower back - before manoeuvring their hands to settle in a seemingly righteous position on her lap. She nodded to confirm his questioning and received a soft smile in response. Eddie appreciated the signifying gesture enormously. It lit a fire of hope in the pit of his stomach, which began to spread dramatically; unwilling to come to a halt whilst in the presence of his one true love.
"Nothing was the same without you," the continuation of Rachel's prior comments was almost inaudible. This was when their gazes unlocked - her stare darted here there and everywhere; her eyes refusing to land in one spot, her mind refusing to believe she had just knocked one of her walls down.
"I haven't been coping without you either," Eddie admitted, all the while stroking a thumb across Rachel's knuckles. She gave his hand a loving squeeze, before stealing her body and mind for the inevitable. The yet to be spoken feelings. Words that had only been voiced once previous, in a time of heartbreak and unwanted goodbyes.
"I've hated not seeing you everyday," he conceded, wanting to stamp his prior words with sincerity, "it was the little things Rach. Not parking next to your car on a morning, not sharing a coffee over a break time natter. It's been driving me crazy, even without your shoes in the hallway, it's just seems wrong."
Just as Rachel was about to admit those words which held so much significance, Eddie managed to confirm them for her, "you're the love of my life Rachel, nothing can change that. I need you, and... I love you."
It was as if the whole world came to a standstill. In that moment, seemingly nothing existed aside from the presence of one another. Both parties were oblivious to time continuously ticking by as the woman leant into the man's chest, moulding her head into his shoulder perfectly.
"I still love you too Eddie, my feelings never subsided," Rachel reciprocated, in disbelief that she actually held the ability to form a coherent sentence.
She sensed his hand move upwards, and settle in her hair - gently brushing a stray strand out of Rachel's face, "I'm so glad to hear you say that," Eddie mumbled into the top of her head, before planting a firm kiss as a way of emphasising his gratitude. Being so close to Rachel, allowed Eddie to reaffirm every detail he loved - loves - so deeply. The particular scent drifting away from her hair, welcoming him with open arms. The way her body fit perfectly into his, the way his arm felt so natural around her waist. These were only several of the details Eddie had longed to experience in recent months. Now, to be living in the moment, felt utterly surreal - he had to bite his cheek slightly, just to make sure this was actually happening. Rachel's hand travelling across his chest to meet his face and caress it, was exactly what Eddie needed to know that this was happening, this was real.
Following on from her gesture, Rachel repositioned herself slightly so that a clear line of eye contact could be made, "what with… Melissa," Eddie noted Rachel's voice breaking up slightly at the mention of her sister's name, and held her that little bit tighter; just to remind her that he was here for her now, she didn't have to bottle all of her emotions up anymore. She inhaled shakily before continuing, drinking in every ounce of Eddie's support, "I can't help feeling like I'm betraying her in a way. She hated me for loving you."
The second Rachel's sentence concluded, Eddie felt his heart ripping into a thousand shreds. For him, her insecurities had been heightened dramatically, and it made him feel sick to the stomach with guilt that Rachel had been going through all this alone. Without his support. Eddie quickly realised that he couldn't think like that, he was here now, in her presence - that was what mattered most.
"That's not true Rach. She didn't hate you…" before continuing, Eddie assessed the pros and cons of admitting the next part: would it make Rachel feel better or worse? He wasn't sure, but he had to give it a chance, "we were in contact, you know, because of Isabelle. I went to the odd scan with her, that sort of thing. In recent weeks, she mentioned about getting back in touch with you, sorting things out. She didn't hate you Rach."
Contrasting emotions coursed through Rachel's body in an instant: joy that her younger sister hadn't died hating her, regret that she hadn't personally got back in touch with Melissa. These emotions threatened to bubble up and overflow, before they were diffused by a squeeze of her hand from Eddie that brought her back to reality.
"She didn't?" Was all Rachel seemed to manage, reassurance was something she needed in abundance. Even after Eddie's prior comments, she had to be sure, to be certain before piling those emotions away, storing them in a box.
"No," he whispered in reply, glad to see the glint in Rachel's eye slowly returning.
Suddenly realising the absence of her thanks, Rachel pulled herself out of the thoughts she was wrapped up in, momentarily locking her eyes with Eddie's once more, "I… I can't thank you enough Eddie. For what you did earlier. I dread to think what Christopher would have done if you hadn't walked through that door."
"It's not worth thinking about Rachel," Eddie responded upon noting the change in Rachel's tone, the grey cloud that seemed to settle above her head. Her breathing was uneven, ragged, and a single thought seemed to electrify his body.
"Are you going to be alright, on your own tonight?" Eddie queried, already knowing the answer and the major possibility that Rachel would conceal the truth.
"I… yes…" she looked away, before mentally readjusting her brain, remembering the promise of honesty that had occurred, "not really, no."
"Then let me stay," he ran his hand up and down Rachel's arm to show his support, his genuine want to be there to care for her, "I'll sleep in the spare room, and I'll give Phil a call, ask him if he wants me to pick him up, or if he wants to stay put. Just let me look after you Rachel."
Admiration ran through Rachel's body like a river. She wasn't quite sure what she had done to deserve this reconciliation with Eddie, to have this wonderful man right in front of her eyes, willing to care for her no matter what. All she good do was thank whatever force that had allowed this to happen.
Bringing herself back to Eddie's proposition, Rachel nodded firmly, as if accepting his offer, "thank you Eddie. You're amazing, do you know that?"
"You're the amazing one around here," he replied, along with that perfect grin Rachel had missed so fondly, "you go get some sleep Rach, you certainly need it."
As if aligning with his words, Rachel succumbed to tiredness and stifled a yawn before standing to turn to Eddie.
"Night night Eddie," she leant down, planting a soft but meaningful kiss on his cheek.
In turn, she pulled away reluctantly, pushing down her ever growing want and desire for him.
"Night Rachel," he reciprocated, sharing a smile with the brunette before watching her stroll out of the living room. A satisfied sigh escaped Eddie's lips - finally he was back where he should have always been, side by side with Rachel. Present to assist with fighting any battles. Now that they were reunited, nothing could break them apart. Eddie and Rachel would resurface stronger than ever.