Note.
So. Who would have ever thought I'd find my discarded old hard drive and re-discover this story after like 5 years and be like, damn I still love Bleach o(*ω*)o
I'm just gonna upload the rest lol. Watch out for the M-rated middle part of this chapter ;)
"Muguruma-san, what an unexpected pleasure to meet you here!"
The young man just rolled his eyes when Kyōraku put down his sake bottle next to him at the bar counter, and sat down without any invitation.
"Kyōraku-taicho", he just said with a nod, taking another sip from his own sake-filled cup.
"Eh, why so formal?", the obviously tipsy Kyōraku answered, poking him in the ribs with his elbow. "We're in a bar, after all!"
"Yeah, right."
"So, what'ya doing?"
"Trying to enjoy my drink, alone, in silence", Muguruma answered, although rightly assuming that his counterpart was slightly immune to sarcasm in his current state.
"Ah, I'm just here to give the day an enjoyable ending", Kyōraku offered uninvitedly, "Guess you need that, too, today, huh?"
Again, Muguruma received a nudge with the elbow, accompanied by a dirty grin. He could only begin to fathom what Kyōraku was hinting at, and was getting slightly annoyed.
"Don't worry, Ukitake will be fine by tomorrow", Kyōraku carried on, cupping his chin in his hand while taking a sip from his sake cup, "he was sound asleep the time I left. That's a good sign."
Pondering this information for a while, Muguruma emptied his cup in one swig and gazed at it for a while, before he said: "So, you stayed with him until he was asleep, then?"
"Yup. Just a tad after eleven. Care for another one?"
Puzzled, Muguruma looked up, just to realize that Kyōraku was invitingly holding up his sake bottle.
"Yeah... why not", the young man said after shortly hesitating, and let his cup be filled again.
"Why so gloomy?", Kyōraku asked casually as he was pouring the sake.
Muguruma shook his head and bared his teeth. "It's nothing." He took big sip from his newly filled cup before adding: "Except that Ukitake kicked me out of his room like I was some stranger."
Chuckling, Kyōraku gave him a pat on the back and said: "Don't take it personally. He hates it when people make a fuss over him. He would have kicked anyone out."
"Except for you."
"That's because he's used to me being around when he's sick. Well, I guess since we used to be roommates, it couldn't be helped that I always was around a lot, even though he didn't like it one bit..."
"Roommates?"
"Yeah, waaaay back, in the academy. Feels like a lifetime ago. Several, actually." With a smile on his face, Kyōraku reminisced for a while about old times, while Muguruma just stared into his anew empty cup, until the older man started to laugh.
"Man, it sometimes wasn't easy living with him... that old neatness freak."
"What?", Muguruma said, and couldn't help but laugh as well.
"We used to have countless fights about the concept of orderliness... of course he couldn't get at me at all. And I loved annoying the shit out of him too much." He chuckled. "Oh, it felt like a personal victory, getting him to a point where he would start to curse at me..."
"No way", Muguruma laughed.
"Yeah, like Get off your lazy ass, I'm not your bitch, you slob", Kyōraku said in a high pitched voice that sounded nothing like Ukitakes, "or, Clean your own fucking room, I'm tired of waiting on you hand and foot, or How many times have I told you to keep your shit to your own fucking side...! I told him I would have those quotes written in calligraphy on a scroll and hang them in our room – which made him even angrier." Kyōraku chuckled at the memory.
"Oh my god, what did you do to make him say stuff like that", Muguruma joined into Kyōraku's laughter.
"Nothing he didn't deserve back then... he could be such a tight-assed stickler, you wouldn't believe it if I told you... sticking to all the stupid rules down to a T."
"Sounds like you two were pretty opposite poles."
"Eh. We came to terms, eventually. Learned a lot from each other. I still love annoying him, though..."
When he staggered into his quarters that night, Lisa was sitting by his small table, reading a book by candlelight.
"You're home early, taicho", she remarked without looking up, "it's barely past one o'clock."
"Some mysterious force has pulled me back here", he answered with a drunk grin while putting down his hat, then awkwardly finding his way out of his pink kimono. "Have you been waiting for me, beautiful Lisa-chan?"
Instead of answering, Lisa calmly put a bookmark between the pages she had been reading, before she got up and walked up to Kyōraku, who was fumbling to open his belt. Impatiently, she pushed his hands aside, got up on her toes, took his face firmly between her hands and started kissing him hungrily. A little off balance, Kyōraku made a surprised noise and stumbled one and a half steps backwards, until his back hit the wall. Lisa pushed her whole body against his, and his hands automatically found their way to her waist.
"You useless drunk", Lisa scolded him, interrupting their kiss momentarily, before her lips found his again. Her fingers were buried in his thick, curly hair, while her thumbs were stroking his stubbly cheeks. God, why did she love his beard so much… feeling his stubble scrape against her lips and chin, all she could think about was how much she wanted to feel it between her legs.
She could feel Kyōrakus hands roaming hungrily across her body, from her waist over her hips, to her ass and thighs and back. He was pulling her close, letting her feel his growing erection.
With a smacking sound, her lips broke free from his, and she breathed in deeply.
"I've been a bad girl, taicho", she said, looking at him from below her dark eye lashes, her cheeks and lips reddened and slightly out of breath.
Could she be any cuter?, Kyōraku wondered, looking down at her through the fog of his lust. Something in her voice had made a tiny bell ring inside his head. She didn't sound like her usual self, and the way she stressed the word taicho at the end of her sentence... Was she into playing games like that?
"What did you do, Lisa-chan?", he asked hoarsely, his hands moving upwards ever so slowly.
Lisa just turned away and pointed at a spot below the window, hard to make out in the twilight. Kyōraku could see some dark shapes lying on the floor.
"I broke your vase, taicho", Lisa said, still in an uncharacteristically girly voice, and pouted convincingly.
"Uh-oh", Kyōraku just said. He couldn't suppress a smile. She actually fucking broke that vase… "It looks like you really are a bad girl."
"I'm sorry, taicho", she pouted, her hands now playing with the collar seams of his haori.
"And what should we do about that?", he purred, his hands stopping at her obi.
"I think I need to be punished", she answered sweetly.
Kyōraku looked down at her. "I think so too", he said, his eyes glinting in the candle light. "Undress."
He began to hastily undo his belt and get out of his uniform, while he watched her do the same. She took her time undoing her obi and neatly putting her clothes on a folded stack, while Kyōraku simply shrugged off his clothes and kicked them aside.
As she bent down to put her undergarments on the stack, Kyōraku wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her against his heated, naked body.
She gave a surprised little squeak, as he started to kiss her neck, and she felt his hands on her belly, slowly moving upwards.
"Taicho", she breathed, excited by the fact that he seemed to play along with her.
"So you entered my private chambers without permission and broke my property?", he purred, his hands getting closer and closer to her breasts.
"I'm so sorry, taicho!", she whispered, feeling the heat rising into her head, "I will never do it again!"
"Good girl", he breathed, cupping her breasts in his hands and squeezing them. She gave a high-pitched moan, her hands firmly grasping Kyōrakus forearms.
"Sadly, that won't un-break that vase", he whispered, holding her tight against his body and letting his right hand travel down along her belly.
"Taicho, what are you doing?", she breathed, her hand on top of his.
"It's all right", he said, his hand traveling slowly over her pubic mound, "You can repay me in a different way."
"I'd do anything", she answered, feeling his fingers finding their way between her thighs.
"I know", he whispered, "just be a good girl and don't resist me."
"I won't... oooh!", she moaned when his fingers finally found her pussy and immediately started to stroke her.
"What a good girl", he cooed, "dripping wet already... that's how I like it..."
"I'm glad you find me... to your liking... taicho", she moaned, panting slightly.
"Oh, and how I do", he answered, squeezing her clit between his fingers and making her yelp.
"Aaah... what are you doing to me", she gasped as he slid two fingers inside her without warning, but continuing to massage her clit with his thumb.
"Don't tell me you don't like it", he said, rocking his hips against hers, letting her feel that he already was fully erect. He could feel that she was trembling, pleased that she seemed just as aroused and ready as he was.
"Oh, taicho", she moaned, moving readily against his fingers, "are you going to put that into my pussy, too?"
"You can't wait for my cock to rip you apart, huh?", he panted, "how naughty..."
From behind, he let his hard cock slide along her butt crack between her thighs, and pressed it up against her pussy. Lisa moaned when he started to rhythmically thrust it between her legs, while still stroking her clit with his hand, and squeezing her right nipple with his other.
"Taicho!", she cried out suddenly, gripping his arm firmly with both hands. "I can't take it, taicho", she gasped, her legs trembling, "please, fuck me properly!"
With one swift movement, he pushed her down onto all fours and knelt behind her.
"Oh, I'll give you a proper fucking all right", he growled, his voice trembling with excitement while he positioned himself behind her, spreading the lips of her lovely pussy with his fingers, and pushed his big, hard cock inside her.
"Hooooo...ly shit", Lisa moaned, forcing herself not to back away from him.
Kyōraku let out an utmost satisfied sounding groan as his hips slapped against her butt, shoving himself as deep inside her as he could.
"Ooooh taicho", she moaned, "your cock is... so... big..."
"You like it?", he said, starting to move very slowly, but quickly accelerating his rhythm.
"I love it", she panted, her voice ragged with the hard thrusts he gave her, "it feels like... you're fucking... my heart..."
He gave a contented laugh. That was something he hadn't heard before. But he really liked the thought...
"You like my big cock in your tight little pussy?", he said, more and more out of breath.
"Spank me!", she gasped, "Spank me, taicho!"
Kyōraku was slightly surprised, though not in a mental state to thoroughly process anything.
SMACK!
Lisa cried out. Kyōraku had slapped her ass. Hard.
"Fuck yessss", she moaned, pushing her hips back against his movements, feeling the burning, prickling, hot post-slap sensation on her butt cheek, "Fuck me, taicho… fuck me real good..."
"Such a naughty girl", he breathed, putting up one leg to change the angle in which he penetrated her, resulting in a loud response. "Taichooo!", she cried out, and he could feel her muscles spasm and clench his cock really tight. "oh god yes fucking yes!"
He gritted his teeth and forcibly held her hips in place during her orgasm; he didn't want to cum just yet. It was close, but he managed to withhold, and only started to move again when she had calmed down a little.
"Fucking... amazing", she sighed, moving her hips slowly in sync with his.
"Such a foul mouth for such a sweet girl", he groaned, kneading her butt cheeks with his hands.
A whimpering sound tumbled from her lips. Her butt-cheek really burned; that guy had hit her fucking hard. But at the moment, the stinging pain just contributed a great deal to her arousal. She reached between her legs with one hand to tend to her neglected clit, and turned to look at Kyōraku over her shoulder.
"You gonna fill my pussy with your cum?", she asked with an innocent expression.
"Fuck", Kyōraku moaned. That had finally sent him over the edge. "Hell yeah I will", he groaned, his hands clenching around Lisa's hips, as he felt his muscles first contract and then relax, his cock twitching and spurting all his cum into that hot little pussy. "Oh my fucking god..."
"Yes, give me everything, taicho... I deserve it..."
He could feel his orgasm like a hot stream all the way up to his throat, and he could feel his own reiatsu unfurling inside his stomach, like a red, hot fire staring to spread – something that rarely happened. He had it suppressed and back under control in no time – although, for a second, he felt a bit frustrated. Never – never ever could he let himself go completely. Some part of him would always have to stay in control.
He needed a while to collect himself, before he slowly released his lieutenant from his tight grip. Still breathing heavily, Lisa just let herself slide to the floor, where she half rolled onto her back, to shoot her captain a mischievous look from under her long eyelashes.
Pleased with himself, Kyōraku let his gaze wander across her body to regard his work. He started to see the red outline of his hand form on her right butt cheek… for a moment he was worried he had overdone it.
"That was fuckin great", Lisa purred, her eyes closed, her hand lazily stroking her own thigh. Something in her voice told him that she was her usual self again.
He smiled at her. "More like... great fucking", he said with a wide grin.
Lisa just rolled her eyes in response. "More like, you're fucking old and make shitty puns."
Kyōraku couldn't help but laugh. "Ah, my cruel mistress", he sighed, touching a hand to his heart. Their eyes met, and for a short moment they looked at each other.
"Lisa", Kyōraku said, and suddenly his voice sounded all sober and serious. "What we are doing here… I fear we might be going down a path that we cannot go back."
"Tch", Lisa said, sounding annoyed. "I don't know what you're talking about." She got up and started dressing herself again. "It's just sex. It's not a big deal." Re-doing her ponytail, she looked at him from above. "It's not like I'm gonna fall in love with you, taicho."
"Aww, that hurts my feelings a bit", he said, only half-joking.
Lisa just gave him a smile and winked at him as she turned to leave. "Good night, Kyōraku. See you tomorrow."
The next day, Muguruma decided to visit Ukitake just after dinner, to make sure he was doing better. For once, he refrained from trying any surprise attacks. So when he just jumped into Ukitakes garden, greeting him with a smile, the white-haired captain seemed to be relieved and disappointed at the same time by the lack of the usual skirmish. He was sitting on his porch with a can of tea, so everything seemed to be back to normal.
"Kensei", he greeted him over his teacup, "it is nice to see you. How was your day?"
Laughing, Muguruma slumped on the ground next to him. "How many times do you have to fuck someone before you stop greeting them with such empty phrases?"
Frowning, Ukitake slowly put down his cup. "Well, first of all, these weren't empty phrases. I really find it nice to see you, and I'm actually interested in how your day was. And secondly... your question was asked on a wrong basis, since I have yet to fuck you."
This serious statement had Muguruma laughing. He took a few seconds to recover before he answered: "I've had a good day, thank you."
"Would you like some tea?"
"Nah, I'm fine, thanks. Are you feeling better?"
"Yes." Ukitake sighed. "A good nights sleep is usually enough to put me back on track."
"What did you do today?", Muguruma wanted to know.
"Paperwork", Ukitake replied with a pained smile, "loads of paperwork. But now it's finally done."
"Hmm", was all Muguruma said.
They sat together for a while in comfortable silence, gazing out into the gardens.
"Kensei", Ukitake finally said in a quiet voice, "I think I should tell you that I don't feel ready to indulge in... all too strenuous physical activities today."
Muguruma smiled. "How convenient. As it happens, I didn't come here for a fuck in the first place."
"So you came here just to talk?", Ukitake teased, "how very unlike you."
"Yeah, I do an awful lot of talking lately, ya'know."
"Hm?"
"Just yesterday, I had an interesting chat with Kyōraku-san..."
"Is that so?", Ukitake asked curiously, "what did you talk about?"
"Well, wouldn't you like to know", Muguruma shot back teasingly, "I'll only tell you if you do me a favour."
"A favour?" Ukitake was suspicious. "And what might that be?"
"Hmm, to be honest, I did come here with one physical activity in my mind that we could indulge in", Muguruma mimicked Ukitake's words, "but it's nothing too strenuous, so don't worry."
"What is it?"
"You know, this one time we bumped into each other in the spa?"
"Yes?"
"Well, I had previously been spying on you a little bit when you were in the massage room."
"You don't say", Ukitake smiled knowingly. Of course he had been aware of that.
"I have been dreaming about giving you a nice, oily massage ever since", Muguruma grinned, raising his eyebrows in anticipation, "what d'ya say?"
Ukitake just gave him a big smile: "Kensei... how could I possibly object to such a request?"
"Sweet. Let's go inside, then."
Nice and slow, Muguruma let his hands slide down on Ukitake's long spine, until his thumbs rested in those two adorable small dimples above his tailbone.
They were inside the bedroom, where they had closed all the doors and windows. The only light came from a few dimly burning candles.
The white-haired man was lying naked on his futon, only a small white towel covering his behind. His head was resting on his arms and his face was partly covered by his hair, but Muguruma could still see that he was smiling. He had oiled him up more than sufficiently with a lightly scented oil and was giving his best to mimic what he remembered from the few massages he had ever gotten in his life. Judging from the small "Mmmh"s and deep sighs that the white-haired man let escape from time to time, he was doing quite fine.
"Your skin is like marble", Muguruma mused, gazing at how the flickering light of the candles reflected on the oily, shining skin. It was all but flawless and very fair, almost of an ivory colour.
"How can you have so few scars?"
Ukitake seemed to be amused by that question. "I try not to be attacked from behind", he said.
"Wise-ass", Muguruma laughed under his breath and continued to firmly rub the soft, relaxed muscles beneath that perfect skin.
"I have also been quite proficient with healing kido from a young age", the older man added and yawned. "Now", he mumbled, "what did you and Shunsui talk about?"
"Well, what d'ya think?", Muguruma grinned, "for example, I learned that you two shared a room back in the academy."
"Yes, we did... what about it?"
"Come on. You slept together in the same room, day after day. You were both in your puberty, for god's sake. There is absolutely no way I'll believe that nothing sexually ever happened between you."
Ukitake chuckled. "I wonder why you are so interested in the events of bygone days, Kensei..."
"I just wanna know!", Muguruma persevered, deliberately tickling Ukitake's flanks.
"Stop it!", the older man laughed, squirming beneath Muguruma's cheeky hands. "If it contributes to your peace of mind, be assured that there was never anything sexual between us. Honestly."
"Hmm, let's say I believe you, for now", Muguruma smiled confidently. He shifted his weight a little and turned to Ukitake's legs, expanding the massage to his thighs.
"Did you talk about something except gossiping about me?", Ukitake asked, sighing contently as Muguruma's apt fingers started to loosen up the muscles on his right leg.
"Of course not", was the young man's gleeful answer.
Ukitake sighed again, this time acquiescently. "And, did you learn something interesting?"
"Hmm. I was surprised to hear that Kyōraku didn't know for a long time, after you became friends, that you liked men... he said he only found out because he ran into you making out with some guy, by chance."
"Well, yeah. I didn't know myself that I liked med for a long time. That 'some guy' was my first... acquaintance of that kind."
"I know", Muguruma grinned, which caused Ukitake to sigh repeatedly.
"Shunsui sure did talk a lot, yesterday... it seems he likes you, for what it's worth."
"How was he, the first guy who Ukitake Jūshirō ever got close to?", Muguruma asked curisouly.
"Well, what did Kyōraku Shunsui have to say about him?", the older man asked back, smiling, "I'm sure he put in his two cents on that, too."
"Weeeelll he described him as taciturn, gloomy and awfully pale. Oh, and really skinny. He said, like his body was only bones and tendons."
Ukitake chuckled, and Muguruma interrupted the massaging to lie down next to his lover on the futon. "Tell me about him", he asked, while he gently brushed a strand of hair away from Ukitake's face.
"All right. I will tell you about him, because these are happy memories", Ukitake began and closed his eyes. "He was very sophisticated, generous and intelligent. He was quite introverted though, so he mostly kept to himself and didn't talk much to the other students. But he was well known by everyone for being the most talented at kenjutsu among us. No one of us could ever beat him with the sword."
"Was that the reason he caught your attention?", Muguruma asked. Ukitake shook his head.
"No. The first thing was... his neck."
"Uhm... what?"
"He had such an elegant, slender neck... and his nape was smooth and as white as milk and contrasted exquisitely with his raven black hair. I caught myself staring at him during lunch, while he was eating rice, minding his own business. There was something to the way he held his chopsticks, and to the movement in his throat when he chewed and swallowed his food. I was absolutely enthralled, and just couldn't stop staring. He noticed it, of course, and the look he then shot me sent chills down my spine... I had totally fallen for him before I knew it."
"Really... his neck?!"
"I didn't realize until later that the strong interest I had in him was partly of sexual nature. But I tried to get closer to him, by jumping at being his training partner in every class we had together. He wasn't really impressed by that, though. I just couldn't for the life of me get a decent conversation out of him. Looking back, I'm pretty positive he thought I was a total dork."
"And then?"
"Well... I had seen him play Shogi before, so trying to get him to recognise me, I challenged him to a game. He told me the only person whom he had never been able to defeat was his former sensei, so I really gave it all I had. To make a long story short, we played for more than six hours, and I eventually managed to capture his king. I will never forget the look on his face when he foresaw, three draws ahead, that I would win. When he looked me in the eyes, it was like he actually really saw me for the first time..."
"How romantic... dead boring, yes, but still romantic."
Ukitake laughed quietly. "You don't like Shogi, I take it?"
"Nah. It takes far too long and is far too boring. But carry on with your story."
"All right. So one day, Shunsui was out in the city with some friends of his to pick up girls, and Seijirō-kun and I were training kidou outside..."
"Seijirō? Is that his name?"
"I didn't mention it? Yes, his name was Seijirō. So anyway, it was pretty cold outside, and eventually it started pouring rain. Of course, in the heat of our training we stayed until we were completely soaked, and we only decided to quit when a thunderstorm came up. Since the building where Shunsui and I had our room was quite close to the training grounds, while Seijirō's dormitory was further afar, we went to my place together. We were shivering with cold when we arrived, so we took off the wet clothes. And the next thing I know is that I was embracing his naked body while he was passionately kissing me."
"Passionately."
"Exactly. I finally got to caress that beautiful neck of his – but that was about as far as we got, because just a few seconds into the story, Shunsui burst into the room-"
"And cock blocked you!", Muguruma ended the sentence, "see, that's the story of your life!"
Laughing, Ukitake turned to lie on his back and pulled the towel over his hips to cover himself.
"Yes, well... I remember he just flashed a dirty grin, and I threw something into his face and yelled at him to leave. He said Sorry and disappeared. Seijirō wasn't exactly happy about having been caught, and I was much less so. I urged him to leave back then... But somehow we couldn't stay away from each other after that, and we soon found ourselves in the same situation again... When we were together I just couldn't take my hands off of him for a single second... it was too utmost satisfying to see his ever-distant face distorted with pleasure, and to make him moan without restraint when his voice was usually so calm and reserved..."
"Wow, Jūshirō", Muguruma interrupted him, "you make me horny and jealous at the same time..."
"Jealous?", Ukitake amusedly asked back, "why would that be?"
"I just wonder if you have equally passionate thoughts about me", the young man said, rubbing his chin, "and I kinda wonder if you like my neck."
"Your neck?", Ukitake repeated, surprised about that kind of question, and stifled a laugh while he turned on his side to gently stroke Muguruma's chest. "Your neck is just fine, but your body has other qualities..."
"Like what?"
"Hmm... fishing for compliments, are we?", the older man teased. Pouting, Muguruma crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I'm not... whatever."
He turned his head to look at Ukitake and asked: "Where is he now, that Seijirō?"
With a sad smile, the white-haired man cast down his eyes. "He doesn't live any more", he said in a quiet voice.
Muguruma let a few seconds go by before he said: "I'm sorry, Jūshirō."
"Me too. But that's the life each of us chose for themselves."
"How did it happen?"
Sighing, Ukitake turned to his back again and glanced pensively at the ceiling.
"He went 'missing in action'. There was a bunch of hollows that appeared somewhere in Rukongai. Nobody had a clue where they had come from. He was one of the shinigami assigned to take care of the problem. But they all disappeared. The reconnaissance group sent to the battlegrounds couldn't find any trace neither of them, nor of the hollows. They were all gone."
"What happened?"
"I don't know. But I believe they somehow got swept into a precipice world, or even Hueco Mundo."
"You think so? But... if it's true, they should have been able to detect repercussions of a dimensional opening in the area, shouldn't they?"
"True. There weren't any, though. I've been to the site myself. But I simply can't think of any other possible explanation."
Muguruma was silent for a few seconds. "It must have been hard to deal with… not knowing what had happened and if he was still alive or not."
He didn't continue, just looked at his lover with compassionate eyes. The white-haired man looked away and smiled a sad smile.
"I pressed Yamamoto-sensei to establish a search party and look for them in the precipice worlds and hueco mundo. He told me that it were only six shinigami that had disappeared, and with no evidence whatsoever where they had ended up, it would be unreasonable to risk the lives of many more soldiers. What's more, if they really had been swept to another dimension, they most likely were already dead."
He paused for a few seconds, before he continued:
"I was furious back then. But today, I know that he was right and I probably would react in a similar way."
"Life can be a bitch", Muguruma said simply. Ukitake shot an irritated glance at him for being so nonchalant about it, but had to smile when he saw the young man's eyes looking at him full of burning affection. "But not today", Muguruma added tenderly and closed the space between them with a kiss. "And not tomorrow."
Sighing, Ukitake rose one hand to Muguruma's face and caressed his cheek. "You're a good man, Kensei."
"I'm trying my best", Muguruma grinned and got up to his knees. "I'll get you rid of all that oil, all right?"
"Yes, please. I'm starting to get a little cold."
The young man got a big towel and started to rub the massage oil away from Ukitake's skin.
"Is that the kind of guy you usually like?", he asked casually, "smooth skin and slender body?"
"I don't have a "kind of guy" I like particularly", Ukitake answered, smiling. He seemed amused about Muguruma's questions. "It depends entirely on the individual person and their character."
"Then tell me who you find attractive", Muguruma said, "there's gotta be some guys in the Gotei 13 you like."
"Why do you want to know that?", Ukitake laughed, "I think you are really attractive, doesn't that satisfy you?"
"You know, Juu-chan, the fact that you don't want to tell me makes you really suspicious. Is it the Kenpachi you're into? Or Yamamoto-taicho?"
With a big, acquiescent sigh, Ukitake finally gave in. "All right, Kensei, if it really pleases you... I think Sōjun-san is quite attractive."
"That Kuchiki-guy?"
"Precisely."
"Hm. He is pretty. I'd say everyone in Soul Society would agree that he's attractive."
"Are you happy now?"
"Not really, that answer was too convenient. And it seems you do have a type of guy you prefer."
"Well, in all objectivity, I'd have to say that Shunsui can also be considered attractive."
"HA! I knew it. Thank you, Jūshirō, for finally approving my point."
"What point?", Jūshirō chuckled, "I'm slowly getting the impression that you have some feelings for Shunsui, as much as you're fixated on him..."
Muguruma burst out laughing, before he gave Ukitake a pat on the thigh to indicate that he was done rubbing off the oil. "Absolutely not", he said, grinning, as he laid back down next to the other man.
Ukitake pulled the duvet over himself, and propped up his head on his hand to look at Muguruma from the side.
"What was is like for you", he felt compelled to ask, "growing up in a dojo?" He caught Mugurumas gaze and smiled at him encouragingly.
The younger man snorted. He hadn't expected such a question. "Why do you ask?"
Ukitake was still smiling. "Well, I've told you about my first awkward experience with crushes and sexual attraction … I'm wondering what your experience was."
Muguruma made a grunting sound and turned to look at the ceiling. "The dojo was in an absolute shithole", he said. "District 76, that's all you need to know. Pretty much only lowlifes around. Growing up there was hella fucked up, actually."
Hearing this, Ukitake felt a knot tighten in his chest. District 76…
"I don't think I've ever told this to anyone", the young man continued, still looking at the ceiling. "The thing was… back in the dojo, we were like, eighteen to twenty-five kids, all different ages. The master was drilling us all the same, morning till night, every day. I'm not complaining, I didn't know it any differently, it made us tough."
He hadn't thought about that place in a long time. Talking about it now, old memories started returning to him in a landslide, and words kept pouring from his mouth.
"The older kids were beating on me, and I was beating on the younger ones, it seemed like a natural thing to do. When we fucked something up, or when someone disrespected the master or a senpai, he'd make us run laps around the courtyard till we puked, or make us stand outside the entire night without sleep, in any weather, holding a heavy brick over our head. None of us knew it was possible to not hurt all over.
I remember… one day three of the oldest students lured me behind the barracks, they held me down and raped me. Of course back then I didn't even know that word or what it meant, it was just some next level shit on top of all the shit that was happening.
From then on it happened regularly, and I also wasn't the only one it happened to. It went on for some years, until one of those guys got killed in a sword fight against a rival dojo, and it suddenly stopped. I guess he was their leader or whatever. I was just glad it was one less thing to worry about."
Muguruma laughed dryly.
"In the way of sexual attraction… dunno. It was all very primal. Once I reached puberty and started to feel the need to relieve certain sexual tensions, me and two other guys would often sneak behind the barracks and just jerk off together. But one day I was there by myself, when one of the older ones, who had been complicit in raping me in the years before, showed up and cornered me. I don't know, he talked some shit and I don't even know how but somehow he ended up sucking my cock, and it didn't feel half bad. So we ended up having an arrangement where we sucked each other's dicks now and then, which went on for quite a while."
He turned his head and caught Ukitake's gaze for a split second, before returning to stare at the ceiling.
"It wasn't very romantic, I can tell you that."
He paused for a moment, memories kept flooding back and he needed a second to put them in the right order.
"As I got older", he finally continued, "I began to leave the dojo more and more often, to go out drinking and such, and I realized that I could make some money by putting my skills to use and run certain errands for people, like tracking down thieves, threatening people who owed money, kick out troublemakers from bars and brothels, stuff like that. And I also realized that you can use money to buy sex.
So I saved up for a few months and went to a whore house. I basically had no clue how to do it with a woman, so first I paid to watch a girl having sex with another guy. Then I repeated what he did, and it felt kind of all right. I went back there a few times to sleep with that girl. But I also started to pick up guys at the bars I was hanging out.
It was always quite rough and tumble, we'd usually just go around the next corner in some dark alleyway and jerk or suck each other off. Sometimes they'd want me to fuck them, and so I did, but most often they'd want to fuck me, which I always refused. Some would offer me money to fuck me, and honestly I was tempted. But once some dumb idiot tried to force me – I broke his nose, and he literally broke his own wrist by hitting me in the face."
At this point, Muguruma laughed. "Anyway. He ended up making a huge fuss about it, complaining to our master that his students were getting drunk in town and beating up innocent people like him, and somehow managed to convince the master I was selling myself for money. The whole thing ended with me being kicked out of the dojo – as if I hadn't had enough of this place anyway. It felt like a good riddance."
Ukitake had been listening silently to Muguruma's outpour, only with a slightly furrowed brow. He had heard similar stories way too often; the outer districts of Rukongai were notorious for producing these kinds of fates. It pained him to think that Kensei had had to go through all this. Life wasn't fair, but it was a too obvious statement to say out loud. Both of them had learned that lesson early on.
"I am glad you have emerged from all of this as strong as you are, Kensei", he said, and reached out to touch his hand to his lover's arm.
Muguruma turned his head to look at him with a crooked smile. "Y'know, Juu-chan…", he said, and turned to his side to let his hand slip under the duvet and place it on Ukitake's hip. "It took me a long ass time to realize that sex can be more than just… scratching an itch… or holding another person down long enough to take from them what you need to get off. That it can be fulfilling to give instead of take, or to feel satisfied simply by knowing you've made someone else feel good." He moved a little closer and looked Ukitake in the eyes. "I dunno, I guess what I wanna say is… being with you, I learn that more every day, and… I appreciate that."
Smiling, instead of an answer, Ukitake moved closer and pressed a kiss on Muguruma's lips.