Musings

by snowberryrose

Stories and reflections that come to me as I watch and re-watch HZGG, including the newest version

16. Names: follow-up to Secrets

A follow-up to Secrets

Names: WenQi

WenQi wondered sometimes, had he been named differently, if he would have been the same person. His grandfather, in declaring that China was a collection of different cultures and nationalities, had started a project, years ago, of compiling books and manuscripts for a library of encyclopedic knowledge to rival any collection that had ever existed in the past. WenQi, who felt that his name had no doubt caused an early fascination with the concept, thus deviated from the path of his Ah Ma and brother and entered into service to help with building the collection.

His brother, WuQi, had also lived up to his name. WuQi had inherited their parents' intelligence but little of their sentimentality. Not to say that WuQi wasn't a kind and just individual, only that he treated people and events with a practicality that served him well in his chosen path. WenQi knew that his Ah Ma and General E Ming often joked that their sons had been switched at birth, for it was TianMing who chose to enter civic duty while WuQi became a Captain and, in time, a General in his own right. Of course, since the two families were united through the marriage of his sister to Fu Cha TianMing, WenQi supposed it mattered very little.

QingYan, his sister, more than definitely lived up to her name. WenQi wondered sometimes, if QingYan had become a virtuoso in so many different skills because of a subconscious desire to live up to the legacy of the two princesses for whom she had been named. Qing-ge-ge, after all, was known for her observant nature while Huan Zhu Ge Ge was known for bringing good cheer to all she met. His jiejie must have known since she was old enough to speak that she was a source of comfort to LFY, their Uncle Benjamin, and their grandfather, the emperor himself. But QingYan was also her own person, as stubborn as she was talented. WenQi smiled to himself. Surely only his jiejie could make TianMing gege give in to any of her requests with but a look. And now that she was pregnant with their first child, his jiejie surely had some odd requests at odd hours of the day and night. TianMing gege was an only child, as his mother had passed when he was young and General E Ming never remarried. WenQi knew that his E Niang didn't want his jiejie to be alone during her pregnancy, and so the young couple had temporarily moved back to Xue Shi Fu.

TianMing gege had been WenQi's childhood hero. As his name suggested, he was someone who sought clarity. Even now, he was an expert on law and a strong believer in justice. His steadfast adherence to the principles on which he had been brought up gained him a fearsome reputation at court. Fortunately, TianMing ge ge also had the emperor's favor, both because of his own abilities and because he had married one of the emperor's favorite grandchildren. WenQi knew though, that TianMing gege cared only that he could do some good. Because of him, the people of BeiJing knew that when the lesser nobles couldn't grant them a fair ruling, they could always appeal to Fu Cha Da Ren. Though they may not always obtain the ruling they sought, still, they knew they would be listened to.

Even as a child, WenQi had felt a closer connection to TianMing ge ge than WuQi because he knew TianMing gege, like WenQi's Ah Ma, thought more deeply, felt more strongly. There had been a time, three years ago, when TianMing fell off the pedestal WenQi had built. WenQi had seen the remnants of his sister's tears on her face. How difficult it had been to promise that he wouldn't interfere. That year, he marveled at his sister's strength, at her ability to move past her heartbreak for the sake of their Ah Ma's friendship with General E Ming and for WuQi's friendship with TianMing. She probably didn't know that her sadness only enhanced her beauty, gave it more depth. WenQi could see that no matter what words had been exchanged, TianMing ge ge continued to look at jiejie with such longing. When the Xiao cousins came to visit, TianMing ge ge's expression gained an additional look of despair. WenQi, though, knew his sister, and wasn't surprised that QingYan continued to wait. He was only glad that TianMing ge ge came to his senses and jiejie didn't wait in vain.

WenQi thought well of XiaoLei. Indeed, he suspected that XiaoLei could be the jianghu version of TianMing. Like the thunder god, XiaoLei would not hesitate to punish the guilty who escaped the law. When he had said as much to XiaoLei himself, XiaoLei had laughed and explained that it was his grandfather's legacy.

Where XiaoLei was steady, XiaoHai was much more high spirited. Just like his mother, XiaoLei had said, with the same exasperated fondness that XiaoHai used when speaking about his sister Nan-er. WenQi had thought it curious, when he found out that XiaoLei and XiaoHai were not cousins because their fathers were brothers. Rather, XiaoLei's father and XiaoHai's mother were siblings. When WenQi had asked, XiaoHai had merely shrugged. "Father had a lot of brothers, but Mother and Uncle were the last of their family. Father didn't mind being a 上门女婿, saying that he was only glad to be rid of the competition within his own family." WenQi didn't know and XiaoHai couldn't say, of course, that it was yet another sacrifice XiaoHai's father had made for the safety of his loved ones; Aisin Gioro Yongqi had died, after all, of pneumonia.

WenQi had been sad when the Xiao cousins had returned to DaLi. He was an awkward age where he was at once too old and not old enough to be true friends with any of the other princes or noble sons. He had never exactly been lonely, not with such attentive grandparents, parents, and siblings, but he knew that he spent so much time with his books not just because of the name he had been given. His companionship with the Xiao cousins were the first time that he felt truly included. And so, when the opportunity came to visit DaLi to gather manuscripts and maps for his grandfather's project, WenQi volunteered.

His Ah Ma and E Niang were reluctant to let him go so far from home. WenQi could understand their concern. But, he argued, though he had turned to focus on more literary pursuits, he had not neglected his martial ones. He was not completely helpless. Besides, he would travel with WuQi, who was departing with his troops to Burma, most of the way to DaLi. And once in DaLi, he would find XiaoLei and XiaoHai. Really, he had already sent them a letter of his assignment.

WenQi didn't know about the conference that his parents and sister held, to discuss his trip. They pondered whether or not they should share the secret with WenQi. In the end, they decided not to; WenQi will have plenty to occupy him, surely he will not have too much free time to visit with the Xiao family. Nonetheless, ErKang discretely had an express message sent to DaLi, hoping that it would arrive before his son did.

And so WenQi rode off south.

His family had gathered to send him and WuQi on their journeys. QingYan had given him a package that she insisted he pass on to XiaoLei's mother. She instructed him to keep it safe but refused to tell him its contents. Attributing her behavior to one of her strange moods during her pregnancy, WenQi gave his promise. Nearby, HeXin Ge Ge quietly said her farewells to her husband. WenQi approved of his brother's wife. She also fit her name. Unlike some of the other court ladies he had met, HeXin Ge Ge was genuine, 和和气气. In the year since she crossed over the threshold into XueShiFu, she had never complained when WuQi came home late from his many obligations in the military. Rather, she kept his E Niang company during the day and still made sure there was enough dinner saved for WuQi. For his part, WuQi liked his bride well enough, he could even admit to fondness for her, and felt that they were well-suited for each other. But unlike QingYan and TianMing, neither HeXin nor WuQi seemed to want or need anything more. WenQi wondered, turning back a moment to watch HeXin Ge Ge standing alone next to his parents while TianMing ge ge wrapped his arm around QingYan as QingYan waved her handkerchief, which path his own future would take.

WenQi found Da Li just as beautiful as the Xiao brothers had described. What struck him the most, however, was how open-hearted everyone was, and how all the different cultures truly lived in harmony. If he grandfather could see it, surely he would feel vindicated that his declaration was not merely words on paper. His days were spent mostly with manuscripts, sorting through an unexpected high volume that had been donated by the local people. He heard, two weeks into his stay, that most had been collected by two men by the name of XiaoFeng and Ai Qi. The local noble who informed him of this fact probably thought WenQi was mad from spending so much time cooped up with the books but WenQi cared not as he laughed. Of course it would be them! He collected himself enough to ask that a reward be prepared for the two men and indicated his decision to meet them in person.

He learned, before going to visit the Xiao family, that XiaoFeng was a local legend. He owned many of the industries in the region and was fair and just. Indeed, he went out of his way to help the less fortunate obtain gainful employment and wasn't above rolling up his sleeves and training new workers himself. AiQi was less well-known, but those of a scholarly bent were full of praises for his abilities. That he refused to tutor any of the noblemen's sons unless they attended classes with the other students in the school that had been set up for the local people gave him his own infamy.

Armed with the still mysterious package from QingYan and over the protests of the local nobleman who had wanted to send an accompanying guard as befitting WenQi's position, WenQi made his way to the Xiao residence alone.

His arrival coincided with the return of XiaoHai from attending to an elderly patient all the previous night to help ease his passing. At the sound of the galloping hooves, XiaoHai turned around. Seeing WenQi, XiaoHai felt all of his fatigue disappear.

"WenQi! Is that really you?"

WenQi laughed, "Did my letter not reach you in time?"

"We had just received it two days ago! Oh! Come in! Father and Mother are still away teaching and Uncle and XiaoLei went to help patch the roof of one of the worker's houses after the rainstorm last week, but Aunty is home."

WenQi accepted the brotherly clap on the shoulder and followed him into the Xiao family home.

"Aunty! Look who has come to visit!"

At XiaoHai's cry, WenQi saw a lady about his E Niang's age enter the courtyard. Like his E Niang, she had a graceful bearing about her.

"Coming, coming! XiaoHai, must you yell so loudly. It's enough that Nan-er…"

Whatever she was going to say, however, WenQi never found out. For Qing-er had seen him and had to take a moment to collect herself.

"You must be WenQi!" She said at last, "welcome!"

WenQi smiled, "Xiao Fu Ren (Madam Xiao), I'm sorry to disrupt you so suddenly."

"Xiao Fu Ren? My goodness, you're a friend of my XiaoLei and this troublemaker here and your parents took such good care of them while they were in the capital…surely you can call me Aunty?"

WenQi agreed easily, "Yes Aunty!"

"Now then, XiaoHai, you look like you're going to fall asleep on your feet. I know you're excited that WenQi is visiting, but at least go freshen up."

XiaoHai nodded, "Yes, Aunty," and withdrew.

"WenQi, come sit!" Qing-er poured her guest a cup of tea.

Remembering the package from QingYan, WenQi brought it out, "Thank you for your hospitality, Aunty. I fear I didn't think to bring a better item for the first time visiting your home, but my sister had insisted that I hand it directly to you."

Qing-er curiously unwrapped the cloth bindings and withdrew a book. Opening it, she found herself needing to catch her breath again. Of course she knew that QingYan knew…how thoughtful the child was! How much like ZiWei!

"What is it?" WenQi asked.

"Oh? Did QingYan not tell you?"

WenQi laughed. "JieJie always kept her own counsel about things; I think she only ever discusses her true thoughts with E Niang, Uncle Benjamin, and TianMing gege. And now that she is with child, no one wants to incite her temper with unnecessary questions."

"With child?" Qing-er smiled broadly, oh how wonderful!

WenQi nodded, "TianMing ge ge is at his wits end, hovering over her. I think, though, that she truly enjoys being pampered, even if she pretends to be cross that he's treating her like an invalid."

Qing-er laughed, "Your TianMing ge ge sounds very much like my own husband when I had XiaoLei."

"Mother?" Just then, a girl's voice floated over to the two.

WenQi turned around and felt his breath catch. He has heard his Ah Ma tell the story of meeting his E Niang, of course he had. He knew about all the trials and tribulations they had undergone to be together. He knew his Ah Ma would go through everything all over again in a heartbeat if he had to. He had wondered sometimes, what love at first sight was like, had thought that surely his parents were an anomaly…but…

"Ah Xing-er, this is Fu Wen Qi, from the capital. WenQi, this is my oldest daughter, Xiao Yu Chun (雨春), but ever since she was little, her Aunt called her little star and the nickname has stuck."

"More so than her name for da ge (older brother)," Xing-er said with a smile.

WenQi had finally gained enough control of himself to speak, "Oh? What was XiaoLei's nickname?"

Xing-er laughed, "小太阳 (little sun)."

Qing-er shook her head, "My husband is named Xiao Feng, for the wind, his sister is named Xiao Yun, for the clouds. So of course the children had to have names related to weather. XiaoLei hasn't let us call him little sun since he was ten years old, but we do have Xing-er here. Her younger sister is of course Yue-er for the moon."

"And you can't forget our little CaiHong (rainbow)."

Qing-er laughed, "I had thought that their aunt would have run out of celestial bodies, but she still found a way."

WenQi soon met all members of the Xiao family. He could easily see how Xiao Hai and Nan-er both took after their mother. Xiao Yun, like Qing-er, had immediately asked that she call him Aunty and quickly made him feel comfortable with her open manners. Indeed, her enthusiasm made her seem more like one of the children than one of their elders. Her husband, AiQi, was the calmest member of that family. But WenQi supposed they needed such a grounding influence. WenQi also found AiQi's input on the various manuscripts and maps indispensable. The more he interacted with the scholar, the more he wondered about his family background.

"Uncle, I don't suppose you'd consider coming back with me to the capital? I know grandfather would love to have someone of your knowledge and skill on this project. You not only have such expertise on the local culture and history, but have such a grasp on the Manchu manuscripts too!"

AiQi had merely smiled, "I fear my place is here. I've gotten used to having the freedom to pursue anything that strikes my fancy."

WenQi sighed, "I do know that grandfather has ordered the burning of books that he has deemed to be inappropriate. I can understand, from a practical standpoint, that he must ensure his position and the power of the dynasty. Still, all that knowledge, lost…"

AiQi had only nodded, aware that WenQi understood what AiQi, as a commoner, could not say for fear of being charged with treason.

Somehow, though, WenQi couldn't escape the feeling that AiQi could not have come from a simple background.

As WenQi had suspected, XiaoFeng was who XiaoLei would become with time. The man more than lived up to his reputation. Like the wind, he was a force to be reckoned with; intelligent, capable, and fiercely protective of his family. But he also had a soft side. WenQi, a frequent guest at the Xiao's, witnessed the interactions between his Uncle and Aunt. Surely XiaoFeng loves his wife as much as WenQi's Ah Ma loves his E Niang. And his three daughters… ranging from age twelve to eighteen, the three girls had him wrapped around their fingers. Little CaiHong was as darling as the rainbow for which she was named. The surprise baby, she was doted upon by the whole family. Any other child may have become impossibly spoiled, but little CaiHong had a cherub-like quality about her that ensured her sweetness. Yue-er, at sixteen, the same age as her cousin Nan-er, was as sharp as a crescent moon. Yue-er and Nan-er often spoke of roaming the country and becoming heroines. WenQi believed them; the two worked too hard at their kungfu skills not to be serious. And Xing-er…

Xing-er was at once innocent and wise. She could not only recite all the poems and reason her way through any of the political manuscripts that her uncle put in front of her, but she also understood the emotions within those poems and believed in the philosophies on which decisions should be made. She was at once idealistic and practical. In their discussions of the various manuscripts that had been donated, he had seen her acceptance of the less glamorous parts of history but also her optimism that the future could be brighter. She was at once sheltered and worldly. She was raised a lady but WenQi had observed her calmness when she helped XiaoHai dress a worker's wounds and knew she was not afraid of blood or injury. WenQi thought that if his E Niang and jiejie could meet her, surely they would be impressed as well.

And for himself…WenQi knew it was impossible. After his Ah Ma had been raised to the title of beile for his part in uncovering corruption during past southern inspection tours with the emperor, his sons gained the titles of beizi. His grandfather, no matter how much he favored his grandchildren, would never allow WenQi to marry a commoner. No, it could only be a dream. Was this how Uncle Benjamin felt, to love someone impossible? He suspected that QingYan had confronted their uncle about the love he still held for HZGG, but WenQi had never thought to mention it. Indeed, he doubted that either QingYan or Uncle Benjamin had noticed that he recognized his uncle's feelings.

He tried to keep his distance, he really did, but like a moth to a flame, he found that he continued to seek her company and her opinions.

He should have realized that XiaoLei would have realized his feelings for Xing-er.

He had just finished compiling the list of the final set of manuscripts to be copied for the scribes when XiaoLei was announced.

"XiaoLei! What brings you to visit today?"

XiaoLei's expression was serious as he said in his usual direct way, "My sister is in love with you."

"What?" WenQi's smile disappeared as he stared at his friend in shock.

XiaoLei shook his head, "Xing-er has not said it in words, but I know my sister."

WenQi found that he didn't quite know what to say, "XiaoLei, you must know that I never…"

XiaoLei sighed, "I know. WenQi, I always thought of you as a friend and, in the three months since you've been in YuNan, you have become like a brother. Just as your parents had treated XiaoHai and I as their sons, so my parents as well as aunt and uncle, have treated you as such. I know your character such that I know you would never falsely raise hopes."

"Why are you telling me?"

XiaoLei smiled wryly, "I know what it is to think about someone impossible."

WenQi had known it, of course he did, but they had never openly discussed the issue of XiaoLei's admiration for his jiejie.

"I only knew your jiejie for a month, certainly not enough time for the thought to leave roots. I have made peace with it and can honestly wish her and TianMing joy. I am willing now to seek for my own happiness. But Xing-er…she is too much like Mother. Now that you've set down roots in her heart, she is prepared to do anything for you."

"XiaoLei, you must believe me, I would never…"

"I know!" XiaoLei's brows furrowed as he fought the conflict within himself, "If you were a common person, I would have celebrated for my sister. Such as it is, I must protect her."

WenQi knew what XiaoLei meant. "Jiejie has said once that some things aren't logical. It's not logical that I should think on Xing-er like this, not logical that I would want her to be my wife, not logical that I want to give her every happiness. Jiejie had also said that some things are beyond our power…to be frank, I know I could bring Xing-er back with me and no one would bat an eye, but I would not be able to stop grandfather from arranging a proper marriage for me. And I…I value Xing-er too much to put her in such a position."

WenQi sighed and indicated the list on his desk, "My task is complete; I have no more reason to stay. I will think on these past three months with great fondness. But…you're right, it's time for me to leave. So that you can have peace, and so that Xing-er can have a chance for the happiness she deserves."

XiaoLei looked at him in relief, "Thank you, WenQi."

WenQi only smiled sadly, "I know I leave in Xing-er in good hands…with time, with the support of her family, she will learn to think of me only as a memory…"

WenQi's plans were briefly delayed, however, when word came of his brother's injury. WuQi had been wounded lightly but because he had been more focused on finishing the battle rather than caring for himself, the wound had been allowed to fester. Even now, his life hung by a thread. The military physicians had done all that they could.

WuQi had been at the Xiao's to bid them farewell when the messenger came.

"When do you mean they've done all they could?!" WenQi rarely ever raised his voice, but the thought that his brother could….he couldn't even complete the thought.

The messenger had only muttered that he was only tasked with delivering the news and didn't know the specifics.

Qing-er had immediately said, "WenQi, calm down, it might not be as awful as you think." She turned towards her son, "XiaoLei, why don't you show the messenger to get some rest. I'm sure he's ridden a long way."

XiaoLei nodded and moved to comply.

XiaoFeng agreed with his wife, "WenQi, WuQi needs you right now, needs his family with him. Xing-er, go fetch XiaoHai, he's visiting Grandma Jiang to ask after her rheumatism at the moment."

Xing-er, with a worried glance at WenQi, nonetheless nodded and left to do as her father bid.

Qing-er added, "XiaoHai is trained in both traditional medicine as well as the practices of the local Bai tribe. I'm sure he will think of something that can help WuQi."

AiQi nodded to the remaining children, "Yue-er, Nan-er, they will no doubt want to set off right away, why don't you go pack some basic necessities for them?"

"I want to help too!" Little CaiHong's earnest voice made everyone smile despite the anxiety-inducing situation.

WenQi took a few deep breaths, "Thank you…I should not have panicked. Brother will pull through, I know he will."

"That's the spirit!" XiaoYun said.

Qing-er added, "It's fortunate that you're already packed. Once XiaoHai is ready, the two of you can set off."

WenQi nodded but still found himself pacing restlessly. XiaoFeng watched him and went to fetch his xiao. Listening the familiar sounding song, WenQi found his thoughts calming finally.

"Did XiaoLei share it with you?"

"XiaoLei?" XiaoFeng exchanged a look with his wife before quickly agreeing, "Yes. I believe your sister taught it to him when he had been in Beijing."

WenQi found himself smiling, "E Niang always played it whenever any of us got sick as children. Thank you Uncle…"

XiaoFeng was saved from answering when XiaoHai burst into the courtyard. "No need to explain! Let me just gather some supplies!"

"I'll come help," XiaoYun said and followed her son.

A few moments passed before AiQi also left to check on the progress.

"WenQi," Xing-er said gently as she held his hand reassuringly, "XiaoHai is a gifted physician. He has combined the techniques he has learned to form new ways of treating illness. I'm sure your brother will be fine."

WenQi smiled gratefully at her but then, remember his conversation with XianLei, stood up, "I'll go see if XiaoHai needs my help fetching any supplies." He didn't dare turn back, fearful that seeing the worry on her face would tear his heart apart again.

Approaching his friend's room, he overheard XiaoYun's voice first.

"XiaoHai. You must save him, promise mother you'll do all you can!"

"XiaoYanZi…" WenQi heard AiQi's voice trying to sooth his wife, "you must believe that XiaoHai will do all he can to save his cousin."

"Yongqi…" his aunt's voice sounded scared, "Yongqi…I can't help but remember when ZiWei had taken that blade for Huang Ah Ma…we can't let her son come to harm!"

"XiaoYanZi, didn't you hear your brother? XiaoHai is well trained. Even if you don't have faith in XiaoJian's words, surely you have faith in your son's abilities?"

XiaoHai finally spoke up, "Mother, Father, I promise, I will do my best. Aunty ZiWei, Uncle Er Kang, WuQi, QingYan, and WenQi, they're all family."

Hearing footsteps, WenQi quickly turned back to return to the courtyard, his mind in turmoil at the names he had overheard. XiaoYanZi…Yongqi…XiaoJian…how familiar these names were! On returning to the courtyard, he looked closer at Aunty's face and thought of his jiejie's favorite painting….it had been decades, but could it be…could it be that Aunty was Qing Ge Ge?

"WenQi?"

He turned towards Xing-er's concerned face. Oh the irony! If he was right…how he wanted to laugh! How he wanted to cry at the same time!

Fortunately, XiaoHai appeared then with a box in hand, "WenQi, let's go."

Right, his brother took precedence. This tangle of names and possibilities…it will have to wait.

Night was beginning to fall when they arrived at the encampment. Flashing his badge at the soldiers, WenQi ensured direct entry to his brother's tent. As soon as XiaoHai examined his patient, he began barking orders. When the soldiers serving WuQi only looked at one another, WenQi lost his patience.

"Well?! Did you hear him or not?! Are you going to stand around or are you going to save my brother?!"

"Yes, beizi!"

The next few hours were a flurry of activity as XiaoHai worked and WenQi made sure his friend had all he needed. Finally, as sun was rising, XiaoHai placed the last wrapping around WuQi's arm and shoulder.

"Fortunately, the wound is on his non-dominant side. It was only a graze, but whatever caused it had been poisoned…it's a rare one that only someone from the Burmese royal family would have access to, no wonder the military doctor hadn't recognized it…I've stabilized it for now, but I'll still have to prepare the actual antidote…that'll take a bit of time. Still, I think he'll live."

"XiaoHai, thank you."

XiaoHai only shook his head, "You and WuQi, the two of you have become family. I could do no less. If you must thank me…I'll write down the list of supplies I still need, good thing you're a beizi, I don't think the common man can afford some of them!"

WenQi smiled at XiaoHai's words. Trust XiaoHai to retain his good humor even after such an exhausting day.

After three days, WuQi finally opened his eyes. After another two weeks, XiaoHai deemed him safe enough to travel though still advised rest to help with the convalescence. WuQi wanted to return to the battleground, but General E Ming would have none of it.

"How do you think I can face your father if I let you go back in your state? You did your part, WuQi, we won that battle. The emperor is still waiting for the report. Take it to him and rest at home. There will be plenty of other battles in your future!"

WenQi of course insisted on traveling with his brother and apologetically said to XiaoHai, "I am sorry that I will not say a proper goodbye, but I don't trust my brother not to strain that arm without someone watching him."

"WenQi! You're worse than E Niang and QingYan both!" WuQi protested.

"Wrong!" WenQi said, "I only fear E Niang and QingYan's anger if I allow a set-back in your recovery!"

XiaoHai only laughed at the two brothers and promised to pass along their farewell messages to his family.

The Fu brothers' return to XueShiFu was a cause for celebration. QingYan, in the advance stage of her pregnancy, was not allowed to stir from her rooms, so her brothers made sure to visit her. WuQi let her fuss over him before departing to join his wife. WenQi, however, stayed a little longer.

"JieJie, what was in that package you had me give Aunty?"

"Which Aunty?"

"Aunty Qing Ge Ge."

QingYan looked at her brother sharply, "WenQi…what are you …"

He only shook his head, "JieJie, stop it. I know."

"How…"

WenQi only laughed humorlessly. "It must be the heaven's idea of a joke. Grandfather would betroth me to someone befitting my station. Xing-er as Qing Ge Ge's daughter would surely fit that description. But she can't claim her heritage, can she? Instead…I could say nothing to her…and now…"

QingYan sighed, "Oh WenQi. We didn't purposefully keep it from you. You must believe that."

"No." WenQi shook his head, "I know…a secret of this magnitude. The fewer people who know it, the better, the safer our family in DaLi can be. And I wouldn't have found out…the whole three months, there was no hint…"

"Ah Ma's letter arrived before you, then."

"Ah Ma? Oh. Of course."

"How did you find out?"

And so WenQi told his sister. "I didn't confront XiaoHai…I couldn't. Not after he saved WuQi's life…QingYan, you must know, will you tell me?"

Taking pity on her brother, QingYan did.

"Does TianMing ge ge known?" WenQi thought to ask after he had some time to digest the story.

QingYan nodded.

WenQi sighed, "But WuQi still doesn't, does he?"

At QingYan's look, WenQi smiled a little, "No, WuQi wouldn't understand, would he? He'd keep the secret, but he wouldn't agree with the choices that were made."

QingYan looked at her brother sympathetically, "WenQi, we thought about telling you, before you went to DaLi, but…"

"It wouldn't have kept me from falling in love with Xing-er."

"Oh WenQi!"

WenQi only sighed again, "JieJie…I think…I think I just need time. And I need to speak with Ah Ma and E Niang, so that they're aware."

"WenQi…" QingYan truly didn't know how to comfort her brother. She could only say, "I sent Aunty drawings of our lives."

WenQi nodded. Of course, it made sense. But, now that his sister had answered even bigger questions, knowing what was in the content of that package no longer seemed to matter.

A year passed, WenQi took comfort in his work. Though going through the manuscripts could be painful too; he couldn't help but think what Xing-er would say to certain passages. At night, sometimes he'd look up at the sky and just watch the stars, wondering if she was looking up at the same ones. He knew his parents and sister worried about him, but the birth of Tian Ming ge ge's son and, ten months after his return from DaLi, the birth of WuQi's daughter meant they had also had other demands on their time.

He wasn't surprised when his grandfather summoned him to notify him of his own appointed marriage. He calmly accepted it; he would do his duty.

"At least she won't be completely a stranger…she's my foster sister you know," TianMing ge ge had explained, "Ah Ma promised her family that he would look after her."

WenQi only nodded, "Our families will be even closer now, won't we?"

"Don't you want to meet her?" QingYan asked, a hint of exasperation in her voice.

WenQi only shook his head, "It doesn't matter if I meet her now or on our wedding day, does it? We'd still be married. If you'll excuse me, I still have another set of manuscripts to sort through."

He didn't see the look that passed between his jiejie and TianMing gege. Had he seen it, perhaps he would have been more suspicious of their repeated attempts to get him to meet his future bride.

The auspicious day arrived. He donned the red clothing and climbed onto his horse. The cheerful sounds of the musicians that accompanied him as he led the way back to XueShiFu with his bride in her carriage seemed like they were coming from a distance. He saw the stars overhead and could only think of Xing-er. He hoped that she was happy. He went through the motions of the required bows. Had he seen the knowing looks between his parents, he might have shown more emotion. As it was, he followed the instructions that were given and sat next to his bride on their marriage bed. Holding the rod which would be used to remove the covering from his bride's head, he hesitated but a moment. Then, gritting his teeth, he lifted the red cloth off…and froze.

There, dressed in red, with a smile on her lips, was Xing-er.

He barely heard the instructions, didn't know how he didn't spill the wine, could only stare at her.

Finally, they were alone.

"How…"

Xing-er only blushed, "Four months after you left…TianMing ge ge came to visit us in DaLi. He brought a new booklet of drawings for Mother and asked to speak with me. He said…he said that you were…troubled and asked if I…"

Xing-er looked down at her hands, embarrassed.

"And you said yes?"

She glanced up shyly and nodded gratefully, "He explained his plan to Father and Mother… they supported my decision. A week later, Tian Ming gege had me meet General E Ming. When General E Ming learned that I was related to XiaoHai, he was more than willing to follow TianMing ge ge's plan. You needn't worry, General E Ming doesn't know about Mother, Aunty, or Uncle…only that you and I…well…"

She looked down at her hands again.

"I had wondered," WenQi murmured to himself, "why TianMing ge ge had to travel so soon after his son's birth…"

A sudden thought occurred to him, "Does that mean you've been in the city for the last few months?"

She nodded.

"Why did they not tell me?!"

Xing-er looked up, "QingYan jiejie wanted to surprise you! Besides, Tian Ming ge ge had to convince the emperor…please, WenQi, don't be upset with them."

"Upset?" He looked at her worried face and remembered back to the last time he had seen her. "Xing-er…I'm not upset."

"No?"

He drank in the sight of her, "No. On the contrary, I am very, very happy."

She smiled shyly at him, "I…I'm glad…"

He reached out to hold her hand, hardly believing that she was real… "And you? Xing-er…you've left your home, your family…"

Xing-er only shook her head, "But Aunty ZiWei and Uncle ErKang, they are my family too. And QingYan jiejie…she has been so kind…and…"

"And?"

She blushed again, "And you…Mother had left this world, to be with Father, it seems only right that I should return to it so that I could be with you."

"Do you really mean it?"

"When TianMing ge ge came to speak with us…when I heard that you were…unwell…WenQi, you can't have known how I felt. I had thought, had thought that maybe I had been foolish, but to know that you did care for me…I…"

Her words were interrupted as WenQi drew in to kiss his bride.

Though her blush had deepened, the way she was smiling at him…WenQi knew he would have to thank his family in the morning, knew that they would no doubt tease him mercilessly, knew that he might even have to name his first child after TianMing ge ge in thanks…but…none of that really mattered. As he drew in to kiss his bride once more, he felt certain that what really mattered was the girl in his arms.