Choice: an AU in which LaoFoYe didn't think Qing-er was too young to marry ErKang

Qing-er liked to think of herself as being above petty jealousy. She wanted to believe she could be more logical, especially after seeing the tragic outcome of some of the women in the palace. It was better to hold back, surely, and keep some self-respect.

But, as she watched her husband raise XiaZiWei to her feet and vow to her that there would be another fate for her, she suddenly understood how some of the concubines could undertake such underhanded and heartless measures to gain royal favor.

She wondered if ErKang realized that his behavior made it obvious what he felt. From the way ErTai looked at her in concern, he did. From the look exchanged by her in-laws, they did. From the way Xia gu niang herself immediately stepped back with downcast eyes, she did as well.

Qing-er wandered the gardens afterwards, but did not truly see the blossoms. ErKang was a kind husband, a patient and gentle one. LaoFoYe might have allowed their marriage after that night of moon and snow, but the empress dowager was not completely ready to let go of the girl she looked to as a daughter. And so, though by the calendar Qing-er and ErKang had been married almost a year, their actual time together was shorter. Indeed, Qing-er had just returned from a two month sojourn in the temples with LaoFoYe. And when she returned home, she noticed a difference in her husband.

Qing-er may be young, but she wasn't naive. And the way ErKang looked at XiaZiWei...her initial intuition had been proven right again and again.

"Qing-er."

She glanced up, "E Niang."

Her mother-in-law settled in the pagoda, "Qing-er…"

Qing-er knew what FuJin wanted to discuss. "E Niang, I'm alright."

FuJing sighed, "I'm sorry."

Qing-er smiled sadly, "英雄难过美人关, and ErKang has ever been a 英雄 in my mind."

"Still…"

"I trust," Qing-er murmured, "that Xia gu niang has no intent to cause trouble."

"Xia gu niang is a sweet soul," FuJin agreed, "almost too good to be true."

"What she has willingly given up, for the sake of her friend...it is to be admired."

"Still, Qing-er…she cannot stay."

Qing-er bit her lip, "can't she?"

"Qing-er!"

"E Niang...where would she go?"

"She's not completely friendless. From what ErTai said, she had two friends who risked jail and death to protect her that day during the parade."

"But despite what she says, she is not just a common orphan."

"Qing-er…"

Qing-er shook her head, "E Niang, give me some time. Right now, after what happened today, I fear I am not at my best."

"I can speak to her...Xia gu niang is not unreasonable. By my estimation, she is an obedient child."

"Don't, E Niang, promise me. Please don't."

"But…"

"This matter...its delicacy deserves careful consideration."

"If you're worried about ErKang, I will shoulder all the blame."

"No," Qing-er insisted again, "it's something I need to handle myself."

FuJin was reluctant, but she agreed.

Qing-er, taking a deep breath after her mother-in-law left, folded her hands together in her lap. Yes, it was time to grow up.

Standing in front of Xia gu niang's door, she hesitated. What if...what if she was wrong in her prediction of Xia gu niang's choice? Could she be strong enough to watch her husband fall deeper in love with someone else?

She was surprised when the door suddenly opened.

"Qing-Ge-Ge."

She blinked at JinSuo and then at Xia gu niang's figure.

"Qing-Ge-Ge."

"Were you going somewhere?" Qing-er asked.

"To go find Fu Da Ren and FuJin and...and…" ZiWei paused slightly, "to thank everyone and to say my farewells."

"Farewell?" Qing-er looked behind her at the parcels carefully stacked on the table, "I see."

"Everyone's generosity I will never be able to repay. But now that XiaoYanZi has been able to explain what happened and my decision has been made, I cannot linger here."

Qing-er looked at JinSuo a moment and was glad that the maid was clever enough to excuse herself.

"Come, sit." she said to the other young lady. "Xia gu niang, I wish to be frank with you. It's difficult for me and I suspect not any easier for you, to speak of this matter...but…"

"Qing-Ge-Ge."

How weary she sounded. Still, Qing-er knew she had to speak "Please, just Qing-er will do. You and I are after all of similar rank."

ZiWei looked at her carefully. "Then you must call me ZiWei."

Qing-er nodded. So far so good. "ZiWei...where are you going to go?"

"Back to Da Za Yuan."

"And then?"

"And then?" ZiWei asked.

"And then what?"

"I...I suspect I will help LiuQin and LiuHong with their endeavors. Teach the children perhaps, care for the elders…"

"And sell your talents."

ZiWei looked away, "To do so in the streets, in the company of friends, is likely a better option then joining any particular establishment."

Qing-er shook her head. LaoFoYe would be appalled that a princess, even an illegitimate one, would be reduced to such means.

"You may have other choices."

"Do I?" ZiWei's voice was so subdued that Qing-er could not help but be sympathetic.

"Yes." Still, it was hard to voice her thoughts, to bring attention to something that was understood but could be ignored if it were not spoken. "It is not uncommon even for an EFu to take on concubines."

ZiWei drew in a breath sharply.

Qing-er forced herself to meet her companion's gaze, "I know that it would not be fair, given your true identity. But...ErKang is a kind husband and I...I think we have enough shared interests to become friends."

"Qing-GeGe, I never meant…"

"I know. But neither are you completely indifferent to ErKang. I cannot fault your taste."

"I…"

Seeing her troubled expression, Qing-er had an epiphany. "You probably haven't admitted it to yourself, have you?"

"I…" ZiWei looked away, "growing up in the shadow of my mother's shame…"

She turned back to Qing-er and her voice gained in steadiness, "I made a promise not to become another XiaYuHe."

"But you cannot control your heart. Even ErKang, who is perhaps the most disciplined person I know, could not."

"Has he…"

Qing-er shook her head, "he doesn't know I'm making this offer."

"You care for him, very much."

Qing-er inclined her head but didn't think further explanation was needed.

"I do appreciate it, but I...can't."

Qing-er handed ZiWei her handkerchief to wipe her tears. ZiWei took it gratefully.

"Thank you." She was able to say after a moment.

Qing-er shook her head, "ErKang has always had his share of admirers. He never paid attention much in the past…"

"Hence I must leave." ZiWei said resolutely. "Everyone has been so kind, so understanding...I cannot repay you with trouble."

Her mother-in-law law was right, Qing-er thought to herself, ZiWei was almost too good to be true.

"Then another option is to let me speak to LaoFoYe."

"What?"

"Matters like this falls within the Inner Palace's purview. And I happen to have LaoFoYe's ear."

"But XiaoYanZi…"

"From what ErTai says, XiaoYanZi is like a caged bird. With the way she bucks at the bars holding her prisoner, she will come to harm eventually. And the price she pays may be her life."

"Surely the emperor's favor is protection enough."

Qing-er shook her head, "the emperor's favor only adds to her danger."

"What are your thoughts?" ZiWei asked carefully, now wary of the worldly experiences of the younger lady.

Qing-er felt more confident now, speaking of matters on which she had more understanding. "I can arrange for LaoFoYe to meet you, to hear your story."

"To what end?"

"LaoFoYe has grown used to my presence. Now that I have married...she is too proud to own to loneliness, but, with your accomplishments, you are more than qualified to serve as a companion for her."

"And XiaoYanZi?"

"LaoFoYe will want everyone in their proper place."

"She will not hold my birth against me?"

"She might," Qing-er admitted, "but for me, she may be lenient."

"I know XiaoYanZi cannot be happy with all the rules with which she must comply."

"ErTai says she insisted that she would return the GeGe position to you."

"I know it's not so simple."

Qing-er shrugged, "Maybe it is. The common people only know that the emperor has decided to adopt a commoner as a daughter. XiaoYanZi's name has never been officially shared. Why shouldn't you take her place?"

"But those of the palace would know."

"The smart ones will know to hold their tongues. And the others...if both HuangShang and LaoFoYe support you, the others may yet learn the value of silence."

"The palace does not sound like a nice place."

At Qing-er's glance, ZiWei flushed.

"I did not mean…"

"You're not wrong," Qing-er interrupted. "But being your mother's daughter, you cannot be a stranger to sharp insults and dismissive glances."

ZiWei winced.

Qing-er almost felt sorry for her bluntness. "The palace requires one always to be on guard, to be careful, to think of one's projected image. Truth is what those in power decides is true. I suspect these are not new concepts to you."

"No...but my heart does not agree with such a bleak view. I want to believe there can be true friendship, pure kindness, and incorruptible truth."

"You are an optimist."

"A defense mechanism perhaps."

Qing-er nodded. XiaZiWei had enough insight. "Whatever you choose, I would like to be friends. Conversing with you is an enjoyment."

"I would like to think on it."

"Of course."

ZiWei knew which path she ought to take. But she was scared. Scared of entering a world of vipers. Qing-GeGe's words reminded ZiWei of her foolishness. Of course the emperor could not just be her father, of course she had to consider all the other women in her father's life. It would be easier to keep away from it all.

But she couldn't abandon XiaoYanZi to such a place. If ZiWei felt out of sorts at the prospect of entering such an environment, how terrible must XiaoYanZi feel?

She did not allow herself to even consider the third option. That path could not be taken. Not just because of a promise, but because she truly was indebted to the Fu family and found herself genuinely liking Qing-GeGe. She also felt foolish again. Her father might have cared for her mother, but a man's heart was a fickle thing.

In the end, it was XiaoYanZi's punishment for her behavior towards RongMoMo that tipped ZiWei's hand.

ZiWei could not help but feel panicked at the news, "but how could he punish her? I thought HuangShang enjoyed her lack of manners, found it refreshing."

"HuangShang is open minded but he has his limits too. And XiaoYanZi is someone who continuously pushes at those limits." ErKang froze a little at the stricken way she stared at him.

"ZiWei, you must also remember that it was not just HuangShang who was present."

ZiWei bit her lip at Qing-er's reminder.

"Right. It's not the first time XiaoYanZi has crossed HuangHouNiangNiang either. She has made an enemy for life I fear."

ZiWei turned at ErTai's words, "if only I could go see her...maybe she'd behave more for my sake."

Yongqi startled at her word, "the two of you are strange. The first words XiaoYanZi said afterwards were 'ZiWei would never have been beaten. ZiWei could be the GeGe everyone wants.' And you...ZiWei, despite everything, despite losing a home, a father, and your very birthright, you still worry about XiaoYanZi and is willing to risk much more to go see her and comfort her! I have never seen such pure friendship, didn't think it was possible for it to exist. True blood siblings are not as generous."

ZiWei noted the hint of bitterness in his voice. It only added to her disquiet at the prospect of stepping into such an environment. But WuAhGe was right in one thing. It was her birthright.

"You may not be able to go, but I can," Qing-er offered.

"Would you?"

Qing-er nodded. "Of course. Besides, XiaoYanZi's wounds are in such a place that it would not be seemly for either Yongqi or ErTai to go."

Even in the midst of her worries, ZiWei noticed the blush on WuAhGe's cheeks. Ah. Yet another way she must protect her sworn sister.

She managed to catch Qing-GeGe before she departed for the palace. Qing-GeGe, no, Qing-er ZiWei reminded herself, accepted her murmured choice easily. She pressed ZiWei's hand in support and promised to inform XiaoYanZi as well.

ZiWei nodded gratefully but still found that she needed to seek comfort in the guqin that FuJin had helpfully provided.

JinSuo, understanding ZiWei's moods, sat nearby with her hand propped on a chin. She had known, even before ZiWei said it, what her xiaojie's choice would be. JinSuo was also frightened, but she was more determined to support her xiaojie no matter what. It pained her that her xiaojie would give up so much for XiaoYanZi's sake. WuAhGe's words had reminded her of her jealousy at the close relationship between her xiaojie and XiaoYanZi. After all, was it not JinSuo who has ever been at xiaojie's side and has never betrayed her? Was it wrong to feel a little vindictively satisfied that XiaoYanZi had been punished? Everyone else seemed so bent on protecting XiaoYanZi, did no one want to help her xiaojie?

The knock on the open doorway made JinSuo stand at once. She was wrong, she knew. Fu da shaoye and Qing-GeGe both wanted to help her xiaojie. Each for different reasons, perhaps, but JinSuo knew she could not afford to be picky.

Seeing who it was, ZiWei also stood, "Fu da shaoye."

"Please sit, both of you."

He joined JinSuo at the table and acknowledged her with a nod. Still, his eyes were on ZiWei, "Xia gu niang, you play beautifully."

ZiWei murmured a soft thank you. The way he stared at her...ZiWei looked down at the strings of her instrument to collect herself.

"I just wished to see if I could help in any way."

ZiWei looked up again, "You have already helped me in more ways than I can count."

"Still...I can tell you are worried about XiaoYanZi."

ZiWei nodded, "I've always wondered how it is that she can be so worldly and yet innocent at the same time."

"She is a force of nature." ErKang admitted.

After another pause, he asked, "Would you like to go to DaZaYuan?"

"I just wondered if you needed a distraction…" he added when she did not immediately answer.

ZiWei was going to refuse, to prevent herself from spending more time in his company. Not because she didn't want to, but because she knew she did. She did not wish to feel this sort of guilt. But then, thinking on her decision, she knew she should offer LiuQin and LiuHong an explanation.

"That is very thoughtful of you. If it's not too much trouble…"

"No trouble at all," ErKang stood, "I'll go prepare right away."

JinSuo spoke up when he departed. "Xiaojie is going to say goodbye."

"Yes. If all goes well, they should know that XiaoYanZi should fly back home soon."

"But xiaojie does not want Fu da shaoye to know."

"No." ZiWei was afraid he would do something foolish. She couldn't take that risk. If it was he and not Qing-er who had provided the option of staying...ZiWei didn't trust herself not to say yes.

"I will be with xiaojie." JinSuo declared resolutely.

"JinSuo…"

"Where you go, I go." JinSuo insisted.

ZiWei wiped away a tear before setting her fingers to her instrument again.

The children were overwhelmed at the goods provided. JinSuo was glad to see her xiaojie smile and laugh in their company and at LiuHong's genuine gladness that they were alright. She glanced up when she noticed Fu da shaoye grow quiet. Ah, her xiaojie had gone to speak with a sullenly watching LiuQin.

"Come, children, who wants a steamed bun?"

Her voice seemed to jolt Fu da shaoye's awareness. Still, he continued to glance in her xiaojie's direction periodically.

"It seems," LiuQin observed, "that XiaoYanZi is not the only one who has become a phoenix. But then, you were one all along, weren't you?"

"LiuQin."

LiuQin shook his head. "I'm not the brightest, but LiuHong is clever. Don't worry, I can keep this secret. I just worry about you, both of you."

ZiWei noticed the quick way he amended his words. "We didn't mean to keep it from you and LiuHong…"

"I know. The fewer people know, the better. But always remember, ZiWei, you are our ZiWei as much as XiaoYanZi is our XiaoYanZi. You will always have LiuHong and me in your corner."

ZiWei nodded and told him all that she knew about the circumstances of their current predicament. "But," she added, "Qing-GeGe, Fu da shaoye's wife, is going to help straighten out the truth."

"So you've come to say goodbye."

ZiWei nodded again.

"And XiaoYanZi?"

"If all goes well, XiaoYanZi will be returned to you."

"And things will return to the way they were."

"Yes."

LiuQin nodded. "Good."

"I am sorry for the disturbance I have caused."

"Don't be," LiuQin said firmly, "those of us without family...we must make our own. When you and XiaoYanZi swore to be sisters, you became a part of this family. And us Liu's never abandon our family."

"You are a true jianghu hero."

LiuQin laughed, "I'm just a coarse commoner, I do not aspire to be any sort of hero. I just want to take care of my family."

ErKang meant to return to XueShiFu, but changed his mind when ZiWei and JinSuo had resettled in the carriage.

ZiWei, seeing the changing scenery through the window, pulled aside the curtain, "Fu da shaoye, where are we going?"

He glanced back briefly before turning back to the road, "do you trust me?"

ZiWei hesitated but said, "yes."

"I thought you might like to explore for a bit. These days, you've been cooped up with your worries."

"Oh." ZiWei retracted to the inside of the carriage again.

"Xiaojie…" JinSuo frowned.

ZiWei just shook her head, "I do trust him."

It was beautiful, ZiWei did not deny it. The place he brought them to was a valley within the mountains that felt worlds away from the bustle of the city. ZiWei could not help but take a deep breath of fresh air and become absolutely enchanted.

"Where are we?"

"You You Gu," he responded, coming to stand with her on the boulder overlooking the rushing waters.

"You You Gu," she repeated the name thoughtfully.

"I found it by accident, years ago, and it has ever served as a balm for my soul whenever I find myself conflicted or sad or angry or frustrated."

"Thank you for sharing it with me."

"I admit, you are the first person I have brought here."

"The first?"

He returned her gaze steadily, "the first."

ZiWei looked away to focus instead on the water below them, "I cannot help but think Qing-GeGe would appreciate such a view as well."

"Yes. She would. But...I am a selfish person and have never brought her here."

"Why not?"

He found he couldn't answer her. Not because he didn't know the answer; bringing a woman to You You Gu meant admitting that the lady had walked into the place where he was most vulnerable. And Qing-er...as fond as he was of Qing-er, somehow he was not comfortable with bringing her.

ZiWei berated herself in the silence that followed her question. "I'm sorry, I should not have asked so invasive a question."

"I don't mind," ErKang replied, "as I would like to ask a question of my own...what did you and he discuss?"

"He?"

"LiuQin."

"The truth," ZiWei answered succinctly.

"Is that wise?"

"LiuQin is trustworthy. He may seem a simple person, surviving more based on brawn than brain, but he inherently holds the values that those of us privileged with formal education have been taught. He and LiuHong are not the sort to betray family."

"And in his family, what role do you play?"

"I don't understand," ZiWei wished he didn't sound so jealous.

"Never mind." He knew she was playing dumb, but he also knew it was probably the best choice for both of them.

"I was jealous of XiaoYanZi, in the beginning," ZiWei said by way of peace offering, "to have LiuQin and LiuHong as her older siblings. But the feeling was fleeting, as she very quickly demanded to be my older sister."

"Not very sisterly of her to bring you sorrow."

"She didn't mean to," ZiWei insisted.

He shook his head, "to this day I don't think she fully realizes the extent of her mistake."

"XiaoYanZi…" ZiWei looked into the distance, "sometimes I don't think XiaoYanZi belongs in this world. She's much too optimistic."

"Are you describing her or yourself?"

She looked wryly at him, "without hope, my mother would not have raised me to adulthood. Without hope, I would have been crushed under the weight of my circumstances."

"Do you never wish to find someone to bear the burden with you?"

"I have JinSuo."

He knew she was purposefully avoiding the true meaning of his question again, but he also knew he ought to let her.

She looked once more at the view around them. Taking another deep breath to settle herself, she said, "we should go back now."

"ZiWei…"

She turned towards him, hoping he would not continue.

"I…"

"Don't. Please, don't." They stood at the cusp of something big and irreversible and she could not let them fall.

"ZiWei…"

Just hearing him say her name again made her heart beat wildly.

She trembled when he reached to hold her hand, "I want to tell you…"

Summoning her strength, she pulled her hand away, "Qing-GeGe should be back soon."

She made to leave his side but must have stumbled because she found herself staring up at him, his arm around her waist. They stared at each other in that position, the closest they have ever been to each other.

"ZiWei…" he raised his other hand, wanting to cup her cheek, but caught himself at the last second. Setting her on her feet again, he removed his arm. "Xia gu niang, please be careful."

She nodded, still unable to speak.

"You're right, we should be heading back."

"Ready?"

ZiWei looked back at XueShiFu's doorway. It was likely the last time she would see it. FuJin, ErTai, and FuDaRen knew of Qing-er's plan, but ErKang did not. It was for the best, ZiWei knew. After that day in YouYouGu, she was more determined than ever that she needed to leave.

She turned back and nodded resolutely, "ready."

She kept her eyes downcast, as befitting a mere servant girl, throughout their journey into the palace. Only when she was shown into a private room in CiNingGong did she raise her head.

"Wait here," Qing-er said, not unkindly, "I'll go fetch LaoFoYe."

ZiWei nodded, grateful for the moment of reprieve.

When the door opened, however, it wasn't LaoFoYe but XiaoYanZi who stepped through.

"ZiWei! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

ZiWei glanced down in shock at her sworn sister's imploring face.

"I didn't mean to, I didn't! It's just...I was so shocked when I woke up and there he was...HuangAhMa was personally feeding me medicine and I...you know I never know what to do when others are kind to me…"

"He personally fed you medicine...he personally…"

"I'm sorry, so sorry," XiaoYanZi repeated.

ZiWei took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Come, get up, XiaoYanZi...you're still wounded."

"Not until you forgive me." XiaoYanZi declared.

ZiWei tried to smiled, "of course I forgive you, you silly. Did you not get my message?" She tugged at XiaoYanZi's arms, "please get up?"

XiaoYanZi finally stood.

"Are you healing alright? Are you in pain still? Are you eating enough? Resting enough?"

ZiWei was startled when XiaoYanZi burst into tears again.

"XiaoYanZi! What's the matter?"

"ZiWei...I dreamed that you wanted to choke me to death. And yet...why are you still so nice to me? I stole your father, stole your title…"

"I said, didn't I?" ZiWei murmured, her own tears rolling down her cheeks, "when we swore to the heavens to become sisters. What is mine is also yours. And as HuangShang has determined you to be his daughter, then you must be filial in my place."

"But I can't do it, ZiWei! All the rules and regulations...I can't do it."

"I know it's difficult…"

XiaoYanZi shook her head, "it's not just that. ZiWei, I need to return all this to you."

"And how do you propose to do that?"

The two girls froze as a stately lady, Qing-er at her side, rounded the large screen in the room.

ZiWei was the first to react as she curtsied as Qing-er had taught her. She tugged at XiaoYanZi's sleeve to remind her sworn sister to do the same.

LaoFoYe observed the contrast between the two of them, the clumsiness of XiaoYanZi's movements and the gracefulness of ZiWei's. Even from the conversation she had overheard, she admitted that Qing-er had not exaggerated in her description of Xia ZiWei's demeanors.

"Well?" she demanded.

"I don't know," XiaoYanZi mumbled.

"Enunciate clearer."

"I don't know." XiaoYanZi repeated louder but still sullenly.

LaoFoYe sighed, "you have taken advantage of HuangShang's generosity and made a laughingstock of his authority. I cannot allow that to pass lightly."

"LaoFoYe, please, it was on my behalf that XiaoYanZi became embroiled in this situation. If LaoFoYe must blame someone, then it must be me, for my foolishness in coming to BeiJing."

"And you must be XiaZiWei."

ZiWei dipped another cutesy, "ZiWei begs forgiveness for speaking out of turn."

"You should beg forgiveness for your very existence."

"LaoFoYe," Qing-er protested her grandmother's harsh tone.

XiaoYanZi also frowned, "it's not ZiWei's fault."

"But XiaYuHe is unable to stand before me," LaoFoYe intoned.

ZiWei had thought she was above being hurt with such insults, but coming from the woman who was her grandmother...the scab on the old wounds covered them but did not make them go away.

"Why is it always the woman's fault?" In her anger, XiaoYanZi had found her voice, "Why doesn't the man ever shoulder any blame for the seduction?"

"Such insolence!" LaoFoYe slapped the table, "kneel down!"

XiaoYanZi lifted her chin defiantly, "Why? HuangAhMa made a mistake, broke a promise. Why should ZiWei be punished for it?"

"And does ZiWei share your thoughts?"

ZiWei immediately knelt, "ZiWei is willing to disappear."

"ZiWei!" XiaoYanZi frowned at her sworn sister.

ZiWei just shook her head, "I know my very existence is shameful, but I cannot reverse the events of time. I admit, I came to BeiJing not just to fulfill my mother's hopes of returning the items to HuangShang. I wanted to satisfy my own curiosity as to the kind of man my father is and determine if he is truly worthy of my mother's wait."

"You would judge the emperor?" LaoFoYe raised an eyebrow at the girl's audacity.

"No," ZiWei replied carefully, "I only wanted to understand how my mother could have abandoned her modesty and my grandfather's teachings."

"Your grandfather was a scholar I hear."

"Yes. And his death was tied directly to my mother's actions."

LaoFoYe was silent a moment, "you truly wish for nothing more?"

"I was ignorant and foolish, and did not know enough to realize the disturbance my presence would have caused. I do beg forgiveness for that."

"If your mother was like you," LaoFoYe said after another moment, "I can see how HuangShang could have enjoyed her company."

She turned then to Qing-er, "very well, I will keep her."

"LaoFoYe?"

"But I will not be careless like my son was. Those two items are not sufficient proof. Before I can have this matter thoroughly investigated, she can stay at my side. We shall say she was a gift from you, a maid to provide me with companionship."

"And HuanZhuGeGe?" Qing-er asked.

"HuangShang raised her to her current position, he should know the truth." She turned towards the still frowning XiaoYanZi. "Your punishment is to tell HuangShang the truth. In fact...PuGongGong, go tell HuangShang I have a matter of urgency I wish to discuss with him."

The eunuch bowed before departing to do as he was bid.

"Now, ZiWei, my Qing-er tells me you are not without talent. I would have you demonstrate."

And so, when the emperor arrived, he heard the sound of the guqin and a voice that sounded oddly familiar. He raised a finger to his lips to prevent the eunuch from announcing him.

"The matter must not be too urgent if HuangENiang still has the time to enjoy such beautiful music."

The ladies assembled looked up at the sound of his voice.

"Ah, XiaoYanZi is here as well? Huang E Niang, zhen has already given her special permission not to learn the rules. If she has offended HuangENiang in any way, zhen asks that HuangENiang be patient with her."

"HuangShang makes many exceptions for HuanZhuGeGe."

"XiaoYanZi grew up away from the palace, some time to acclimate is reasonable."

"Hmmmp. I don't think HuanZhuGeGe wishes to acclimate."

"Nonsense. She travelled all that distance, braved the chance of being killed as an assassin, just to return to zhen's side."

"That she almost lost her life I will not deny, but as for the distance travelled...XiaoYanZi, why don't you explain?"

"HuangAhMa…" XiaoYanZi bit her lip. Now that the moment of truth had come, she suddenly found herself reluctant. She just knew the emperor would be so disappointed that she had lied.

"Well?"

XiaoYanZi looked to the floor as she told the whole story from the beginning to the moment she woke up in the palace.

"And where is XiaZiWei now?" The emperor asked.

"Here."

He looked towards the direction of her pointing and saw ZiWei properly for the first time. "Was it you who was playing?"

ZiWei nodded, "Yes, HuangShang."

"Play it again."

ZiWei did so obediently, trying not to let her voice tremble.

The emperor watched her...yes, she did look and sound like YuHe.

"And how came you to be here?" He asked her when the song concluded.

"Through me." Qing-er spoke up and picked up the story from XiaoYanZi.

"I see."

"XiaoYanZi, why didn't you tell the truth earlier?"

"I tried to tell you," XiaoYanZi replied, "but you were so convinced...and then I was afraid of losing my head. But really, HuanZhuGeGe should be ZiWei, not me."

"And the time you tried to sneak out, was also to see ZiWei, wasn't it?"

XiaoYanZi nodded.

"Well then. I suppose the two of you could pass for twins."

"Nonsense!" LaoFoYe exclaimed, "a GeGe title is not something meaningless to be tossed about willy-nilly. XiaoYanZi is most definitely not a true GeGe. It remains to be seen if ZiWei is."

"HuangENiang means…"

"HuangShang does not see the danger? If word got out how easily HuangShang recognized two commoners, then how many others would make claim to be the result of one of HuangShang's youthful indiscretions?"

"But…"

"My son, I know you feel honor bound, but I must harden my heart and be certain of the bloodline."

"What does HuangENiang suggest?"

"What HuangShang should have done. Investigate. Meanwhile, they will both stay at CiNingGong. XiaoYanZi so I can personally oversee her acclimation, as you put it. And ZiWei as my Qing-Er's thoughtful gift to me."

"Still...to have ZiWei be a mere maid…"

"She has lived all these years as a commoner."

The emperor knew when he was being reprimanded, "then zhen will leave the matter in HuangENiang's hands."

"Very well. LaMei, show Huan Zhu Ge Ge and Xiao gu niang to their new quarters."

"Who does Huang E Niang plan to send?"

LaoFoYe, still miffed at her son, replied curtly, "He Qin Wang."

"Ah."

At his chagrined expression, she thawed a little, "This matter concerns the image of the royal family. I cannot risk a scandal by sending someone not of the blood. And He Qin Wang has ever put himself outside the struggles among your brothers. He has also never cared for politics and can be trusted to find only the relevant facts."

"As Huang E Niang wishes."

LaoFoYe sighed, "My son...I know you have grown fond of XiaoYanZi, but you must focus on the bigger picture."

"Er cheng obeys," the emperor bowed to his mother before departing.

LaoFoYe turned to Qing-er, "The AiSin Gioro men are capable rulers but their one fault may be that their hearts can still influence their decisions."

"But is it not their heart that tempers their decisions and allows them to think of the good of the people?"

LaoFoYe did not make a response other than patting Qing-er hand. "My child, you did well bringing ZiWei to me. To have someone like her remain at XueShiFu...I have always thought highly of ErKang, but he is but a man."

"LaoFoYe...Qing-er only wished to help someone in need," Qing-er insisted.

The dowager empress gave her a knowing look, "I believe I have taught you better."

Qing-er looked down at her clenched hands.

LaoFoYe patted her hand one more time, "Still, I am not unaware of my own culpability. I have allowed little time for the two of you time to build a solid foundation for your marriage. This XiaZiWei...she is not you, but she is not untrainable."

"ZiWei is a kind soul," Qing-er murmured, "I would not have minded calling her sister."

"Foolishness."

Qing-er looked up, "LaoFoYe, do not let the past color your opinion of ZiWei. She chose to leave XueShiFu, even when I gave her another option."

"Well of course she did. As a proper Ge Ge, she may yet become a proper wife rather than a mere concubine."

Qing-er shook her head, "ZiWei is not like that."

"You cannot know that."

"My intuition tells me that ZiWei is not a schemer. And my interactions with her have borne out my first impression."

"Hmm. Time will tell. I will observe her carefully while she's at CiNingGong." LaoFoYe decided.

Qing-er nodded, knowing that such a cautious approach was for the best.

She found JinSuo vigorously cleaning the rooms she had shared with ZiWei.

"Qing-GeGe. Xiaojie…"

Qing-er smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring manner, "has been reunited with XiaoYanZi. LaoFoYe will keep watch over them both until HeQinWang provides further proof."

"My xiaojie would not lie."

Qing-er nodded, "I know."

Nonetheless, JinSuo worried at the rag in her hand, "I wish I could have gone with her."

"I know," Qing-er said again, "but LaoFoYe needs to judge ZiWei on her own merits."

"Since the day I entered into service with the Xia family, xiaojie and I have never been parted."

"Then you must know her the best."

JinSuo nodded, "Xiaojie hardly ever complains, but she's sensitive and feels much. She's so selfless, always thinking of others before herself. I wonder sometimes if she thinks she's not worthy of attention or care. Which is what makes me so upset with XiaoYanZi. Xiaojie feels obliged to be kind and forgiving, and it's in her very nature to be so, but I…"

Realizing she had said too much, JinSuo's eyes widened.

Qing-er just smiled again, "I will try my best to reunite you, when everything is settled."

"Thank you, Qing-GeGe. Thank you."

"ZiWei is lucky to have someone as devoted as you caring for her."

Qing-er wondered when ErKang would notice ZiWei's absence. She was dreading the confrontation. Still, she was almost relieved when it happened relatively quickly.

"Should we see if Xia gu niang would like to join us for supper?"

FuDaRen and FuJin traded looks. ErTai opened his mouth to answer, but Qing-er spoke first.

"She's not here."

"Oh. Has she gone to visit Da Za Ruan again?"

"No. She's where she should be."

"Where she should be?"

Qing-er set down her chopsticks, "Yes."

"And where would that be?"

"Brother…"

Qing-er shook her head at ErTai. She appreciated his attempt to shield her, but she needed to stand up for herself.

"I took her to LaoFoYe."

"You…" He stared at her for a long time. Qing-er willed herself to be strong and meet his gaze.

Finally, he picked up his chopsticks, "I see."

The rest of the meal was taken in silence. Qing-er ate what she could but found that the knot in her stomach was too heavy.

When she closed the door to their rooms behind her, ErKang turned towards her, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You know why." She hated that she felt like crying.

He turned away from her.

"Had it been her wish," she said softly, "I would have happily called her sister."

He looked back at her sharply.

"Maybe not happily," she admitted, "but I would have tried to be kind."

"Qing-er, I…"

"But she chose differently," she raised her voice, needing to complete her thoughts before he could make excuses.

"She chose…"

"I offered," Qing-er shared. "For your sake, and in part for hers. But E Niang was right, JinSuo is right, ZiWei is too good to be true, is too caring towards others despite how her decisions may damage herself. For my sake, she refused. Oh, she told me it was because of a promise she made to her mother. And it's probably true that she did make such a vow. Still...she will never tell you, but I think you should know...she chose differently not because she felt nothing for you but because she felt honor bound to protect me."

"I should honor her choice," he said quietly.

She kept quiet.

"I need…" he looked at her imploringly, "I need some time."

She nodded.

He looked back from the doorway, "Qing-er, thank you. I...I don't deserve either of you."

"I am your wife," she reminded him.

He nodded before leaving her alone.

Qing-er sank down into a chair. It had to be done. Those words had to be said. If they were to move forward, they could not allow the unspoken truth implode on them in the future. He would be back. She knew that. ErKang was too honorable, too responsible to abandon her. Still...it hurt.

She was almost beginning to become used to the lonely silence of the night when she felt his arms wrap around her in their bed.

"I don't deserve you," he whispered in her ear.

It wasn't a coincidence, she knew, that he should come to her on the day HeQinWang made his report proving the truth of ZiWei's story.

"I am your wife," she said again.

"Yes. And I shall try to be a better husband…"

"ErKang…" she turned to that she could look into his eyes, "I do not blame you."

"You should."

She shook her head, "I know that some things are beyond reasoning."

He sighed.

She nestled into his chest in response, "I am content."

He saw her in the palace, JinSuo at her side, a gentle smile on her face. So used to seeing her worried expressions and her tears, he paused on the path a moment just to look at her. It was fitting that the ziwei flowers were in full bloom.

"What about this one?" JinSuo plucked a blossom to add to ZiWei's basket.

ZiWei's grin broadened, "we don't need so many. LaoFoYe likes fresh flowers but we have no need to bring the entire garden indoors."

"I suppose…"

"Come on, we should return before LaoFoYe wakes. I had hoped to use the dewdrops we collected to make her morning tea."

"Alright." JinSuo agreed.

He watched her depart, glad that loyal JinSuo was at her side again. And all thanks to Qing-er. He held a ziwei blossom in his hand...it would be so easy to pluck it and take it home, but...he withdrew his hand...he could bear it, he must bear it, and allow it to grow and flourish.

He had kept watch over Da Za Yuan, after XiaoYanZi returned to it. In part at the emperor's command. It was a good thing he did, for he was able to thwart and report on the attempts on XiaoYanZi's life. He wasn't surprised that the empress was behind them, didn't even care at the ramifications when he showed the evidence to the emperor. That his own aunt should rise to prominence as a result of his actions he knew to be good for his family, but really, he found he rested easier knowing the empress had little power to hurt ZiWei now. And without the empress's poisonous words, ZiWei will surely be even safer as she won LaoFoYe's regard. He never doubted that she would.

He still went to YouYouGu on occasions, still had not brought Qing-er to his place of escape. He didn't think he ever would. But he also knew Qing-er would never ask, even had she known of it. They were friends, companions, and...soon enough, were to become parents.

ZiWei was there, when they went to tell LaoFoYe the news. Her eyes held nothing but genuine happiness as she offered her congratulations to Qing-er.

"You will make wonderful parents," she told them.

"Thank you," he spoke for both of them.

Her smile faltered a little as she met his gaze but she recovered quickly and turned towards Qing-er, "Have you given thought to names?"

"We had thought we'd let LaoFoYe decide," Qing-er replied.

LaoFoYe laughed, "and gladly I will!"

LaoFoYe decided that she would go personally to the temples to obtain a blessing for Qing-er's child. ZiWei of course accompanied her. It had been months since she had stepped foot outside the palace. She had learned to play her part to the point where it no longer felt like playacting. She was Huan Zhu Ge Ge now. The feeling that she was always being watched, examined, judged no longer bothered her. Things were as they should be. XiaoYanZi was free, the Liu siblings were well, and she...she had found a purpose. LaoFoYe was proud, regal, demanding, stubborn, but ZiWei felt a kinship to the dowager empress. They shared a certain loneliness. For different reasons, yes, but it was enough to make ZiWei do her best to be the companion Qing-er had intended her to be. And so, she gave little thought to her actions when the figure in black appeared with a knife pointed straight at the dowager empress.

"Xiaojie!" Distantly, she heard JinSuo's voice. She wanted to reply, but her throat would not obey her. And...why did she feel so cold? And why was it so dark, so quiet, all of a sudden?

She thought she heard the sound of a guqin, somewhere in the distance. Mother? She tried to call out, but still found herself silent. She tried to look about, but the world was still so dark. Mother? A soft breeze, carrying with it the smell of rain, caressed her cheek. Am I to see you again? She wanted to follow that breeze, wanted to let it buoy her as it might a kite. Mother?

ZiWei...ZiWei...she frowned and turned in the darkness. Someone was calling her. There was that breeze again, but this time it was pushing her in the direction of the voice. Alright mother. I understand. It's not yet my time.

The sound of the guqin faded away but the world about her grew lighter.

ZiWei…

She opened her eyes but then immediately winced. It hurt.

"Xiaojie!" JinSuo's face swam into view, "oh thank heavens!"

ZiWei blinked, "JinSuo...I heard a voice, calling my name."

At JinSuo's frown, ZiWei bit her lip. "Never mind."

"ZiWei."

ZiWei looked in the direction of the voice, "LaoFoYe."

"You foolish child!" the dowager empress reprimanded as she sat on the edge of the bed, "what possessed you to risk your life in such a way?!"

ZiWei frowned. Risk her life?

"There was so much blood…" JinSuo murmured, "when Hu TaiYi pulled that knife from your chest. I thought…" she fell silent again.

Knife? Yes, there had been a knife, hadn't there? Was that why she hurt so much?

"You foolish child!"

She looked at LaoFoYe again...were those tears in the dowager empress's eyes?

"ZiWei is sorry to have worried LaoFoYe."

The dowager empress looked at her charge incredulously, "sorry to have...foolish child!" she said again before standing. "Hu TaiYi needs to examine you now that you have wakened. Perhaps he can tell me if your mind is addled!"

ZiWei stayed quiet through the physician's examination.

"Ge Ge is out of danger. She will need to replenish her blood supply and she will be weak for a while yet, but I believe she will recover."

"You see, LaoFoYe," ZiWei murmured when the physician had departed to make the necessary medicines, "I am in no danger."

LaoFoYe still frowned at her.

ZiWei smiled, "I am glad that LaoFoYe is safe."

"ZiWei."

"Huang Ah Ma…" she tried to get up, but winced again in pain.

"No, don't move," he sat down on the side of the bed, "you have worried us all."

"ZiWei did not mean to…"

He shook his head, "zhen dares anyone to speak badly about you after this."

"Huang Ah Ma…"

"You risked your own life for that of LaoFoYe's, zhen cannot allow such an act go unrewarded."

"ZiWei does not wish for any reward. The fact that everyone is safe is enough."

The day she was finally allowed to leave her room, ZiWei sat with JinSuo in their courtyard.

"What beautiful blossoms."

"HuangShang had some of the best chrysanthemums brought to CiNingGong. I think he hoped they would help ensure xiaojie's longevity."

ZiWei smiled, "HuangAhMa is too kind."

"Zhen is glad you think so!"

"HuangAhMa!"

"It's good to see you up and about again."

"It feels good to be out of bed," ZiWei agreed.

"Zhen has full trust in JinSuo's ability to care for you, but zhen thought you might like another companion to alleviate some of the banality of not being allowed to move about as you were used to."

"Oh?"

The emperor grinned and stepped aside.

"ZiWei!"

"XiaoYanZi! Oh!"

"You do take your vows seriously." XiaoYanZi noted, "for now we share even similar wounds. Though, I would much rather you didn't put yourself in danger like that. Really, of the two of us, you're the more careful one."

"It wasn't intentional," ZiWei protested.

"I really thought I would have taught you to have more of a sense of self preservation!"

"I…"

"Never mind...I'm here to stay for a short while, you've still got time to learn."

"Alright, jiejie."

XiaoYanZi grinned, "that's a good meimei."

The emperor laughed at their interaction. "XiaoYanZi, zhen trusts you'll be on your best behavior and not cause trouble this time?"

"Yes HuangShang, XiaoYanZi promises."

"Good."

"HuangAhMa, thank you."

The emperor smiled at his daughter, "Zhen did say that you would be rewarded, no?"

Though her strength recovered faster than HuTaiYi predicted, ZiWei remained pale for much of the next year. The winter was especially difficult, as she felt the cold more acutely than she had in the past. Thankfully, JinSuo ensured that her room was well heated. LaoFoYe also had a cloak of the finest fur made for her. And the emperor ordered the physicians to use only the best ingredients for his daughter. ZiWei knew to appreciate these gestures.

"Xiaojie, come inside."

ZiWei smiled at JinSuo, "just a little longer. Let me enjoy this first snow."

"But you will catch a cold."

"Just a little longer." ZiWei reached out a hand and let a snowflake fall onto her palm.

"At least take this hand warmer," JinSuo insisted.

ZiWei nodded obediently.

"It is rather beautiful," JinSuo admitted.

"We rarely had snow back in JiNan. It's a novelty."

"We should go back in now," JinSuo said as the snow began to fall in earnest.

ZiWei nodded agreeably. She watched as JinSuo bustled about, shaking out the cloak and hanging it up to dry.

"I'll go fetch your medicine," JinSuo said.

ZiWei nodded again.

JinSuo looked at her in concern for a brief moment, but then shrugged. Xiaojie was given to pensive moods.

The sound of the guqin greeted JinSuo when she returned with the bowl.

"Xiaojie has started composing another song?"

ZiWei nodded. "The snow serves as good inspiration."

"Medicine first though."

ZiWei took the bowl and drank its contents obediently before turning back to her instrument.

JinSuo returned in due time and simply listened. She could not claim to be an expert when it came to the musical arts, but she knew her xiaojie well enough to hear the bittersweet nature of the song. Her xiaojie hid it well, but her encounter with Fu da shaoye earlier that day must have disturbed her equilibrium. It was a chance meeting, their paths crossing as they walked the path in opposite directions.

"GeGe"

She froze for a moment before she recovered, "Fu da shaoyo."

"I am glad to see you recovered," he said earnestly.

"Yes, XiaoYanZi's visit greatly helped."

He smiled, thinking on the random festivities XiaoYanZi had incited in the name of helping ZiWei. Even LaoFoYe, who would never like the girl, found herself relaxing a little at the resulting smiles and laughter from ZiWei.

"I trust Qing-GeGe is well?" she said softly.

"Yes."

ZiWei nodded and made to continue walking.

"ZiWei…"

She glanced at him sharply.

"ZiWei...I…I really am glad..."

"Good day, Fu da shaoye," she briskly resumed her path. She dared not look back, for she could feel his gaze on her even as she continued walking.

"Xiaojie…"

She shook her head at JinSuo, "It's inevitable that we should meet now and then."

Listening now to her xiaojie's song, JinSuo could feel the sense of regret and wistfulness. She wished her xiaojie would speak about the matter, but ZiWei steadfastly avoided the topic.

ZiWei didn't know how to tell JinSuo that the voice she had heard, the voice that called her back, was his. It was impossible. He couldn't have been present. But it was unmistakably his voice. She didn't want to think on him, didn't want her heart to continue hurting. She thought she had managed to move past it but it seemed she was wrong. Mother, I understand now. She wished she didn't.

There was a grand celebration when Qing-GeGe gave birth to the Fu family heir. Watching the fireworks from her courtyard, ZiWei smiled sadly. It was as it should be. But sometimes…

She coughed lightly into her handkerchief.

"Xiaojie. We should go inside."

She shook her head at JinSuo, "I am well."

"Meimei should listen to JinSuo."

She turned towards her brother. "Wu Ge (5th brother)."

"Your health has still not fully recovered."

"I am not so frail," ZiWei insisted.

Yongqi shook his head, "Meimei's illness is not just of the body."

"WuGe…"

Yongqi sighed, "our choices are the right ones, but...I too wonder sometimes…"

"It's a luxury we ought not indulge in too often," she murmured.

"Meimei is right."

"Wu Ge has proven to be a most capable QinWang." She tried to change the topic.

He smiled a little at her, "Dutiful, responsible, understanding. The two of us are truly 同病相怜."

She looked at the sky again.

"I hope meimei will not mind having visitors when you go to YiHeYuan with LaoFoYe."

"WuGe is always welcomed."

He frowned as she coughed again, "For now though, rest?"

She allowed him to steer her towards the doorway.

"JinSuo, do ensure she rests?"

"I'm fine," ZiWei murmured. Still, at his deepening frown, she stepped inside, "alright, I promise, I'll rest."

"I'll care for her, WangYe."

Yongqi nodded.

In the time since XiaoYanZi's visit, he had grown closer to this recovered sister. In part, he knew, because of XiaoYanZi herself. ZiWei knew it too and had made it a point to seek him out to discuss the matter. He could tell it took much of ZiWei's courage to confront him about his feelings for her friend and so decided to be honest with her. In turn, he had felt justified to tell her his suspicions about her and ErKang.

"There are rumors that HuangAhMa intends to match you with ErTai."

"What?"

"HuangAhMa has always had his eyes on both ErKang and ErTai to become EFu."

"Oh."

"ZiWei...I know it would not be your wish…"

"My wish?"

"He is not the brother you would have chosen."

She glanced at him sharply.

"ZiWei. I am not blind."

She bit her lip, "I made a choice. I don't regret it."

"I wonder if I have your strength."

"XiaoYanZi is not suited for our world," she reminded him.

"I know." He paused, "meimei, I don't think you are either."

"I...I am content."

The timing of the delegation from Tibet proved fortuitous. After ErTai departed with his new bride, Yongqi visited his sister.

"It'll be you next," she teased.

"Yes."

"Wu Ge?" she frowned when he didn't smile.

He sighed, "ErTai and I have been friends for so long...he's more dear than any of my actual brothers."

"It's only a year."

"A lot can happen in a year."

"Yes... I came to BeiJing a year ago."

"Do you regret your choice?"

She knew his question encompassed so much more than her decision to leave JiNan. "No."

"Even though…"

"In JiNan, I had just mother and JinSuo. Here...I have family; a father, a grandmother, a brother, a sister. Even though...even though I am too much of my mother's daughter."

"I trust that you'll tell me about the ladies LaoFoYe considers for me?" He at last said after a long pause.

She grinned at him, glad of the lightened mood. "of course."

"Your colors look much improved," he told her a few weeks later.

She smiled at him, "YiHeYuan has a more relaxed atmosphere, a good place for recovery of body and spirit."

"I'm glad."

"Thank you for taking me to see the lotus blossoms," she said as she took his hand to step into the boat, "although, surely you did not have to row yourself."

He just grinned at her, "it's good to exert myself now and again. It wouldn't do to become lazy."

She laughed, "Lazy? You?"

"Compared with dealing with some of the officials, this small task is nothing."

She looked at him sympathetically.

"But we shouldn't let them cast a shadow on such a beautiful day. Let us be off!"

The flowers were beautiful, the multicolored dragonflies that flew among them only adding to the picturesque scene. When she unscrolled the painting he sent for her birthday, she smiled at the brilliant way he was able to capture the sunshine filled simple happiness of that day.

The summer was almost idyllic, ZiWei decided. The quietness of YiHeYuan, away from the drama of the court, suited her more.

"ZiWei, child, what say you to staying here long term?"

"If that is LaoFoYe's wish."

"I asked for your opinion," the dowager empress stated, not unkindly.

"Then I must admit that I would not be adverse to it."

LaoFoYe nodded, "Then stay we shall."

"LaoFoYe will not miss the court?"

LaoFoYe scoffed, "Miss it? I spent most of my life among squabbling women. I think I deserve some peace and quiet, don't you?"

ZiWei hid a smile. Ever since the attack at the temple, LaoFoYe seemed to drop some of the formalities around ZiWei.

"Besides, my son had this palace built for my sake. I might as well put it to good use."

She took advantage of LaoFoYe's afternoon naps to explore YiHeYuan. It really was a beautiful estate. Aside from where she and LaoFoYe stayed, the property focused mostly on gardens of all varieties. Her favorite part though, was the Long Corridor, the beams depicting a different scene from history or literature. She often found herself looking up at pictures and murmuring what she remembered of poetry related to the tales.

She never expected to hear anyone answering.

"GeGe, forgive me for my audacity."

She blinked at the guard who had suddenly appeared in the corridor with her.

"Oh no. You must think me mad, to speak to myself in this way."

He shook his head, "GeGe is very knowledgeable."

"You have me at a disadvantage. You know who I am, but I do not know who you are."

"I am but a guard, of little importance."

"You must be new," she smiled, "I wonder that your coworkers has not informed you that I like to know the names of those who serve us."

"GeGe cannot hope to learn all the names."

"But that doesn't mean I don't try."

"It is true then, what they say?"

"Hmm?"

"GeGe has never forgotten her roots."

ZiWei shook her head, "Just something a dear friend taught me. Names are important, serve as sources of pride and self-worth. So of course I must learn them when I can."

"Xiaojie!" ZiWei turned to see JinSuo hurrying down the corridor.

"Forgive me," she turned again to the guard and blinked in surprise to find herself speaking to thin air. How strange.

"Xiaojie."

"What is it, JinSuo?"

"A messenger from the Palace."

A look of alarm crossed ZiWei's features, "HuangAhMa…"

JinSuo shook her head, "glad tidings, he said, but wouldn't tell me more."

"Glad tidings?"

"LingGuiFei is with child?" LaoFoYe smiled broadly, "how wonderful!"

"That is glad tidings," ZiWei agreed.

"Come ZiWei, we must offer our thanks to buddha and pray for a safe delivery."

"Of course."

LaoFoYe had many thoughts as to gifts to be bestowed upon GuiFeiNiangNiang. ZiWei, caught up in trying to arrange for all the different items to be obtained and sent, forgot about the encounter with the guard.

She was reminded, however, when she went to the lake one morning to gather the dew from the lotus leaves.

"Oh, it's you!"

"GeGe." He bowed even as he reached out a hand to help her and JinSuo into the boat.

"Might I know your name now?"

"FangYan."

She smiled at him, "a fine name."

"Xiaojie has met him?"

"By chance."

"Oh."

"And where are you from, FangYan?"

"HangZhou."

"Ah, then you must be an expert when it comes to boats."

He inclined his head and focused on rowing.

"I also grew up near water," ZiWei shared, "though I did not have much chance to explore DaMingHu."

Turning to gather the dew, she missed the frown that crossed the guard's face.

"Thank you," she said to him politely when he returned them to the bank.

He watched as she walked further down the path. Was he mistaken? But the nun had clearly said that HuanZhuGeGe looked like XiaoCi. Maybe he let his hopes get the better of him. So many years had passed...and the nun could not have gotten a clear look at the princess during that parade. No, he needed to be certain. He hadn't snuck his way into YiHeYuan just to leave without finding the truth.

It was wrong and impolite and not something an honorable gentleman should do. But, he needed to know. And if she really was his sister, then maybe it wasn't so terrible. He bit his lip, his cheeks feeling flushed nonetheless at his current location. His shifu would be appalled that he even thought to spy on the princess as she bathed.

Her shoulders, above the rim of the tub, were bare. No sign of the birthmark that should be there. He rapidly turned around, wincing at the situation. She wasn't his sister. And he had just...he covered his face with his hands. He owed her an apology for the violation.

"JinSuo? Is that you?"

His eyes widened when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Quickly, he escaped out the nearest window.

"Who's there?"

"JinSuo? What is it?"

JinSuo poked her head out of the window and looked about. Frowning, she shook her head before retracting it, "nothing."

FangYan breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn't looked up into the rafters of the corridor. He went back to the abbey the next day, to ask the shitai if she was sure, and gained an affirmative. But how was that possible? Would HuanZhuGeGe know?

He snuck back into YiHeYuan that night and overheard the sound of a guqin. Whoever was playing was highly skilled. Hidden as he was in the tree limbs, surely it would alright if he joined in as a duet? He paused when the sound of the guqin stopped. Oh, he had behaved in too impulsive a manner. Just as he was about to make his escape, however, the music returned. Smiling, he placed his xiao back to his lips. He waited after the third song, but the guqin remained silent. He found himself disappointed. Against his better judgement, he returned for the next three successive nights and was glad that the guqin player responded to the sound of his xiao each time.

He didn't expect the door to open and for the princess to step outside and glance about, as though searching for something.

He blushed again, thinking on how he had invaded her privacy without her knowing. And perhaps it was that sense of guilt that caused him to drop out of the tree to stand before her.

"Oh." Instinctively, she took a step back with a gasp.

"GeGe."

"FangYan." She then saw the xiao in his hand, "oh."

"I'm sorry for the intrusion," he said.

"Were you standing guard tonight?"

"I...no."

"Oh. Then…"

"I admit, I hadn't realized that GeGe was the musician."

"Are you disappointed?"

"Of course not! GeGe is a master."

"As are you."

He smiled back at her before clearing his throat. Right, the reason he wanted to speak to her. "GeGe?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not actually a guard."

"Oh."

"But I mean you no harm! I thought...I thought you were my sister."

"Your sister?" She blinked at him as he nodded.

And so he told her about his family history, about how his mother was forced to separate her children for their safety. "I came to BeiJing, hoping that my sister had made it to her intended destination, only to find out that the family no longer lived here. I managed to trace her to an abbey, but was told that she had stolen away when she was young and was lost. And then...then shitai told me that she saw HuanZhuGeGe parading in the streets and swore that it was XiaoCi. And so I came to YiHeYuan…"

She raised an eyebrow, "You must be a master at martial arts then, to have managed to come and go undetected these many times."

"I...I have some skills at disguise as well, with all the adventures I've had."

"Is FangYan your real name?"

He nodded, "though I went by XiaoJian during my travels."

"XiaoJian…"

Feeling foolish, he told her the poem he had concocted for himself.

She tilted her head at his words. "I suppose the weapon at your side is no common sword."

"It belonged to my father."

"What crime was so awful that your mother had to separate her children?"

"Treason."

"Ah."

"But my father was framed. I learned it by accident when I went back to HangZhou, to visit my parents' graves. I couldn't believe it at first, having been brought up to think that the culprit was…" he paused, suddenly remember who she was. "Anyways, I did some investigation. I have the evidence still."

"So you came to BeiJing, not just to find your sister."

He nodded. "When I heard she had somehow become HuanZhuGGe, I had hoped to garner her aid in proving our father's innocence."

"How do you know I'm not your sister?"

He squirmed a little, still feeling guilty, "GeGe grew up in JiNan."

"Maybe your sister was taken there."

"Maybe…" he couldn't tell her the truth, was too embarrassed to utter the words.

"Does she have other identifiable features?"

"A birthmark on her left shoulder, in the shape of a swallow bird."

"Oh!"

He was confused when she grinned widely, "GeGe?"

"The shitai hadn't been wrong! Your sister was HuanZhuGeGe!"

"But…"

ZiWei smiled, "XiaoYanZi will be so excited to know she has a brother."

"XiaoYanZi?"

"My sworn sister." And so ZiWei told him about how the mix up came to be.

"And XiaoYanZi, where is she now?"

"If you go into the city, to an inn called HuiBingLou, you'll find her."

"Really?" It seemed too simple.

"Really."

A wide smile slowly spread across his face.

He really was quite handsome, ZiWei thought to herself and then immediately felt startled at her thought.

"Thank you!"

"And I can send a message to my brother, RongQinWang, he will help with the other half of your task."

He gaped at her. "Truly?"

She smiled, "truly. XiaoYanZi is my sister, making you my family as well. She borrowed my father for a little while, it's only fair that I should be able to help her father."

"I...thank you."

He clearly looked overwhelmed.

"You should go, before you're caught." She reminded him.

He nodded and turned to follow her instructions.

"GeGe?"

"Yes?"

"I am in your debt."

"There can be no debts between family."

Fall was upon them when she saw FangYan next.

"ZiWei!"

She looked up from the weiqi board, "WuGe!"

Her eyes widened when she spied the person standing behind her brother. "FangYan!"

"GeGe," he bowed properly.

"What…"

"I must thank you, meimei, for sending me such a 人才. I couldn't just let him go back to wandering the jianghu. So I offered him a position."

"What position?"

Yongqi shrugged, "part bodyguard, part personal secretary. But in reality, my secret weapon for any discrete investigations that need to be done. He has the skills for it."

"How wonderful for XiaoYanZi!"

"HuangAhMa also approves."

"You've met with HuangAhMa?" ZiWei asked FangYan.

He nodded, "RongQinWang felt I had a right to defend my own case."

She turned to see her brother's smug expression, "how kind of brother."

Yongqi was unabashed, "I made the offer first."

At her raised eyebrow, he amended, "all thanks to meimei for course."

"Is GeGe playing against herself?" FangYan asked.

ZiWei nodded, "I find it useful, to try different strategies."

"Could I play a game?"

"You play?" Yongqi asked, surprised.

"A little."

"Hmm...ZiWei can beat even HuangAhMa, are you sure you still wish to challenge her?"

"When have I ever won against HuangAhMa?" ZiWei protested.

He snorted, "you know you could. You just never do, for the sake of propriety."

"If GeGe plays weiqi like she plays the guqin, I believe I shall find myself well challenged. Still, I'd like to test my skills."

"And if you play like you do the xiao, I think it will be a most interesting match."

Yongqi looked between the two of them, "since when…"

"Shhh…" ZiWei shushed him, "we're starting."

He huffed but did as she bid.

It was an extremely close match.

"You lost," Yongqi said incredulously to his sister at the conclusion.

She just smiled serenely at him, "山外有山, 天外有天."

"Only by half a piece," FangYan reminded them.

"Again," Yongqi declared.

"WuGe…"

"Again," he insisted.

"I'm willing if GeGe is."

"Please?" Yongqi looked imploringly at his sister.

"Oh alright."

She won by a whole piece that round.

"Ha!" Yongqi sighed contentedly, "and all is right in my world again."

"Xiaojie, LaoFoYe has awoken."

"And that's my cue to leave," Yongqi also stood.

"You just don't want her to bother you about providing her with great grandchildren," ZiWei said knowingly.

Yongqi just made a face, "Come on, FangYan."

ZiWei chuckled and shook her head. After they had left, however, she frowned to herself. Surely it wasn't just because of FangYan's own merits that her brother decided to give him a reason to stay in BeiJing. Sure, her brother had married who LaoFoYe had chosen, had even seemed to enjoy his wives' company, but...ZiWei sighed. Maybe she should stay quiet this time.

"Xiaojie?"

"Hmm? Oh. I'm sorry, JinSuo, my thoughts ran away from me for a moment. Let us go attend to LaoFoYe."

They did go back to the Palace briefly, for the occasion of the mid-autumn festival. LaoFoYe was in good spirits as her grandchildren and great-grandchildren gathered to provide their greetings. Her widest smile, however, was reserved for Qing-er and little Dong-er.

ZiWei, watching as the empress dowager cooed over the child while his parents smiled proudly, found that the scene did not provide the same sharp pang of longing that it had in the past. Maybe her brother was right and her time at YiHeYuan, so removed from other people, and so filled with prayers at LaoFoYe's side, truly did help her rise above earthly desires.

The performance at the banquet that night, however, reminded her she was very much still human. It started out innocuously enough, a dance with handheld red lanterns but then the beat changed to one of more spirit and a figure in red popped out among the throng of dancers.

"Oh!" ZiWei caught the lantern thrown in her direction, grinning widely back at her sworn sister who laughingly pranced away to do more tricks with the lanterns and intermittently toss them at people she recognized.

XiaoYanZi seemed very much in her element as she bowed at the end of the performance.

The emperor laughed and gestured for her to approach before leaning towards ZiWei, "this holiday is a time for family to be reunited, and though you do not share blood, the two of you are true sisters in spirit."

ZiWei dipped a curtsy, "ZiWei thanks HuangAhMa for the consideration."

"HuangShang jixiang, LaoFoYe jixiang."

LaoFoYe raised an eyebrow at the flawless greeting, "hmmm, your manners seem much approved."

"Having a brother agrees with me," XiaoYanZi's smile did not fade.

"Indeed? You refer to FangYan?"

"Yes LaoFoYe."

"Yes...ZiWei tells me he was able to beat her at weiqi. I am glad to see that you at last have someone who can provide the necessary discipline."

"Brother is very strict," XiaoYanZi admitted, "even more so than ZiWei had been with teaching me manners. But I have no desire to disappoint him or shame our departed parents."

LaoFozye nodded approvingly at the change she saw in the girl.

"You speak so maturely, zhen barely recognize you!"

XiaoYanZi grinned again, "brother says I'm someone who will never grow up, so HuangShang should not worry."

The emperor laughed, "Good, good."

LaoFoYe had planned to retire after the banquet, but she shooed ZiWei away from accompanying her back to CiNingGong. "Go on, I don't trust XiaoYanZi not to cause trouble still. I will rest easier knowing you are with her."

"LaoFoYe is certain?"

The dowager empress just made another shooing motion.

XiaoYanZi tugged on ZiWei's hand, "come on, I wanted to examine the lanterns and compare them with the ones in the city!"

"They can't be that different."

"Well how would we know until we go look? Come on."

LaoFoYe chuckled to herself as she watched an impatient XiaoYanZi pull ZiWei in the direction of the lake. She had grown fond of ZiWei, but the child was sometimes too quiet. It would do her good to regain some spirit in XiaoYanZi's company.

XiaoYanZi sighed, both in relief and in appreciation, as they walked among the lantern displays, "oh my goodness. Finally, I feel like I can breath again!"

"Oh, were you not feeling well?"

Seeing ZiWei's concerned expression, XiaoYanZi shook her head, "just felt stifled, that's all. I'm so very glad that I was able to return the GeGe position back to you!"

ZiWei just smiled in relief.

"Imagine," XiaoYanZi continued, "if I hadn't, brother would have had such a difficult time finding me."

"So you're getting along with him then?"

"Well…it's different," XiaoYanZi admitted, "it's true what I told LaoFoYe, he is awfully strict. And I'm not used to having someone scold me like he does. But I've also never felt driven not to disappoint someone before either."

"Not even HuangAhMa?"

"Maybe if I hadn't been able to return the position to you," XiaoYanZi speculated, "but it's different anyways, brother is blood kin."

"I didn't think that mattered so much to you."

XiaoYanZi shrugged, "I didn't think it did either, but...it is nice having actual family. Not that I don't treasure having you as a sister...Oh, it's hard to explain." She waved an arm nonspecifically.

ZiWei smiled again, "I think I of all people can understand."

"Yes," XiaoYanZi brightened again, "you do, don't you? Oh look! See those floating lanterns on the lake! How pretty!"

ZiWei followed closely at XiaoYanZi's heels towards the bank, "be careful and don't slip!"

XiaoYanZi just laughed, "brother has been coaching me in martial arts. He says what I lack for proper form, I make up for in enthusiasm. Balance is definitely part of the exercises he encourages. He couples it with meditation sometimes, which is dreadfully boring except when he plays the xiao for me."

"He is very talented," ZiWei agreed.

"He said you played duets?"

ZiWei nodded.

"Maybe I'll be able to play one with you too soon."

"Oh?"

"Brother's been teaching me that too," XiaoYanZi explained.

"Ah. How does he find the time?"

"Well, it's easy when I live with him, isn't it?"

"But I thought WuGe gave him space in RongQinWangFu."

"Yep."

"So...so you're living at a RongQinWangFu now too?"

XiaoYanZi nodded but then tilted her head, "well, sort of. We're in one of the side courtyards and have our own entrance, which is helpful since I still like to go help out at HuiBingLou. It's kind of fun playing house with brother though."

ZiWei frowned a little. What was her brother up to?

"Do you interact with the people from the WangFu often?"

XiaoYanZi shook her head, "not really. Well, there's a maid who helps clean and an eunuch who helps brother with messages sometimes, but for the most part we're on our own."

"Oh."

"I've even learned to cook!"

"Really?" ZiWei asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…mostly I just bring back meals from HuiBingLou, but LiuHong did teach me a few dishes. Brother sometimes cooks for me too."

"Your brother can cook?"

"Oh yes! He had to learn; during his travels, he could ill afford to travel with a cook."

"Huh."

"Brother is so very capable, ZiWei," XiaoYanZi said, a clear note of admiration in her voice, "when XiaoHu sprained his wrist at HuiBingLou and refused to let us find a physician, brother was able to patch it up right away. It makes me feel bad, sometimes, that he's stuck with me for a sister."

"What do you mean?"

"Just...I have no talents except for making trouble. And he's so...so worldly and capable and…and…"

"And cares about you very much."

They both twisted around on the rock on which they had been sitting.

"Brother! What are you doing here?"

"GeGe," he greeted ZiWei first before turning to his sister, "to fetch you."

"Oh, is it time to return?"

He nodded, "CeFuJin feels fatigued."

"Well, she is with child." XiaoYanZi's eyes suddenly widened and she clapped her hands over her mouth, "oops. I wasn't supposed to say anything about that."

"She is?!"

XiaoYanZi nodded, "but please don't say anything, especially not to LaoFoYe. Yongqi is still waiting for the taiyi to say everything is stable before making an announcement."

"My lips are sealed," ZiWei promised.

"Come on, XiaoYanZi, we should go."

XiaoYanZi have ZiWei a big hug, "alright. It was so good to see you."

ZiWei smiled, "same here! Give LiuQin and LiuHong my greetings!"

"Of course!"

"And happy mid-autumn festival to you, FangYan."

He smiled back at her, "thanks to GeGe, I am able to spend it with family."

"Oh, should we walk you back?" XiaoYanZi thought to ask.

ZiWei shook her head, "no need, the lanterns are enough to light my way. Even without them, the full moon casts such a brilliant light, the paths are clearly illuminated."

"You're certain?"

ZiWei smiled at her friend reassuringly, "Go on now."

She lingered a little longer, just looking and appreciating the quiet beauty of the scene. It was so easy to forget the passing of time. But for the seasons and these major holidays, her days passed in monotonous succession. She didn't mind, not really, found that she actually preferred the calmness of her days. There was comfort to be found in routine. The rest of the world, though, felt the effects of time. XiaoYanZi was growing up and WuGe was to become a father. Would she be the only one to be able to stand on the banks rather than be within the stream of time? She shook herself a little. The moon was making her think such odd thoughts. Perhaps it was time for her to sleep as well.

"ZiWei."

She knew that voice. She bit her lip but did not turn.

"Are you happy?"

Still determinedly looking at the lanterns on the lake, she replied, "Yes."

"Good."

She waited, but he did not speak anymore. She clenched her hands together and took steadying breaths. When she finally summoned enough courage to stand and turn, however, she only saw an empty path. She didn't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved.

After all that time, he should not be able to affect her so. He was a father now and she...she had made a choice. Besides, a fire, no matter how strong in the beginning, should extinguish without any fuel. Maybe it was just the unexpected nature of his presence. Maybe...maybe...she bit her lip again. She was relieved, she decided. Yes, very relieved.

Still...she looked up at the moon, its image now slightly blurred from the tears in her eyes. Mother, help me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

ErKang also took a moment to calm himself before he stepped into YanXiGong to fetch his wife who had been visiting with LingGuiFei. He had been with Yongqi and getting to know FangYan better when the maid approached notifying Yongqi about his ceFuJin's fatigue. He made excuses soon after FangYan departed and hesitated a moment before deciding to follow the other man. He had watched from a distance as the Fang siblings said their farewells, had meant to just watch her. But, as always when it came to her, he found he did not have full control of his actions.

She didn't turn, but he could see her discomfort at his presence in the very still way she held herself. He knew he should leave her be. He had managed while she was at YiHeYuan to focus on his own family. He knew, from Yongqi's behavior, that the prince blamed him in part for his sister's previous illness. And he was willing to shoulder such responsibility, had done his best to keep his distance so that she might forget. But that day, seeing her again, seeing how serene she looked next to LaoFoYe and then how she visibly shone with happiness at seeing XiaoYanZi...he needed to hear her say that she really was well.

That was the last time, he promised himself. He needed to let her go. It was the right thing to do.

ZiWei was glad to be back at YiHeYuan. It felt a little like hiding, yes, but it was home.

It was a month later that FangYan came to deliver some books on her brother's behalf.

"The manuscripts you had requested, GeGe."

She smiled at him, "oh, thank you."

He hesitated a second before asking, "might I have a moment of your time?"

She studied him and frowned, "What's wrong? Is it…"

He sighed and nodded.

"Oh no. I should go visit WuGe."

"WangYe has requested solitude."

"But at a time like this…"

"XiaoYanZi is with him."

She looked at him sharply.

"I…"

"Please, have a seat," she decided, "JinSuo, if you'll bring us some tea?"

She turned back towards him, "What did you see?"

He did not speak at first, twiddled with his teacup when JinSuo had returned. "When he heard the news, his first act was to go comfort ceFuJin. He held her while she cried and reassured her that they were still young and that they still had time. He has spent most of the week caring for her spirits when not at other tasks."

"WuGe is a good man," ZiWei murmured softly, "he does not deserve such a loss."

FangYan nodded, "I have not known him long, but I do respect him and think he is a true junzi."

"You worry about him."

"I'm not the only one. XiaoYanZi...despite my protests that WangYe wished for a moment of peace, she pushed past me and...I had not yet seen him cry. He made a valiant effort to hold it together...but when she hugged him...it was too private a scene for me to stay."

"Ah."

"GeGe…"

"Brother loves her." ZiWei felt that honesty was best, "but he also promised me that he would not cage her."

"He is a man of his word."

"Yes."

His expression cleared, "thank you, GeGe."

She nodded, "it was not an easy choice, but I was able to make him see that possessing her would change her, force her to become something she is not, and eliminate the very things that he loves about her."

"GeGe is wise."

"She is my sister," ZiWei said simply, "and family looks out for one another."

"I have never been in love," he confessed.

"It is not always as dramatic as the poets would have it be. Sometimes...sometimes it just leads to quiet sacrifices."

Something about her expression made him feel as though she wasn't just speaking of her brother and his sister, "GeGe?"

She shook her head a little, "thank you for bringing the manuscripts."

"GeGe...should you ever need a listening ear...we are family too, no?"

She managed to smiled a little at him.

Time passed, as it was wont to do, and she did eventually gain a niece and a nephew. Her brother stayed true to his promise and never told XiaoYanZi what he felt. Sometimes though, on the occasions she was able to observe them together, ZiWei wondered if he needed to. But maybe it was one of those silent things that because it was unspoken, did not need to be acknowledged. She wondered sometimes, if she would have healed faster if she and Qing-er had never openly acknowledged what was between her and ErKang.

Since that day by the pond, he had kept away, for which she was grateful. Now when they did see each other at formal occasions, they could interact with politeness. If she felt a little hollow afterwards...well, that was better than the pain she had initially felt. His family also grew to include siblings for Dong-er. They were dutiful, well behaved children, even at their young ages. Watching LaoFoYe with them, ZiWei felt again that she existed outside the stream of time.

There was one point when she came close to being drawn into the activities of the world. The war in the borderlands were costly and seemingly unwinnable. There were talks of a diplomatic marriage to prevent further bloodshed and to ease the unrest within the country from the heightened taxes. Her father and LaoFoYe had paused in their conversation when ZiWei joined them, but she had caught enough fragments to know to prepare herself.

She had looked up at the moon that night, worrying after her brother and ErKang and FangYan who were on the front lines. She knew her brother had his wives and XiaoYanZi to pray for him and ErKang had Qing-er and FuJin. Still, she felt compelled to add her own well wishes. As for FangYan...she wanted so much to hear the sound of his xiao. They had developed a camaraderie over the years. It was inevitable really, given their respective relationships with their siblings. Since their conversation about her brother and xiaoYanZi, he also seemed to have adopted her as another younger sister. As her brother's responsibilities grew, he became their main courier of messages.

If she could, through political alliance, ensure their safety then she would make that choice, would welcome it. She read what she could about the different territories. The officials, she knew, thought of them all as backwards, but the more she read, the more she was fascinated. She did not have the adventurous spirit XiaoYanZi did, but she rather thought she had enough curiosity to make the best of her circumstances.

Fortunately though, the matter was settled when the Qing won a surprising battle that proved the change in the tide. She heard later that it was FangYan who was the chief strategist for that unexpected victory. XiaoYanZi was pleased, though more for the fact that the two men most important to her were coming home at last.

"I am grateful LaoFoYe allowed me to live at YiHeYuan during this time," she said to ZiWei after the messenger had left, "but...it'll be so nice to go back home."

ZiWei, not trusting her voice, had merely nodded.

FangYan came personally to fetch his sister. ZiWei, having been at LaoFoYe's side as she greeted Yongqi in the receiving hall, missed the Fang siblings' reunion. But she had her own brother to greet. She put decorum aside and let her brother hold her as she sobbed.

"Oh meimei...please don't cry, we are all safe."

She nodded but found that the tears still fell.

"ZiWei and I have prayed every day for your safe return."

ZiWei collected herself enough to remember that LaoFoYe had also worried and fretted. She looked and was suddenly startled to see how white the dowager empress's hair had become.

"And they were most effective," Yongqi declared.

"Oh enough of your flattery, come here and let me have a good look at you."

"You've gotten so skinny." LaoFoYe complained.

"War is tiring work," Yongqi attempted to joke.

"Hmm...Yes. I do hope your wives are caring for you adequately."

"They are most attentive. And have done so well raising MianYi and Nan-er in my absence."

"ZiWei and I have watched over their education most carefully."

"Ah, no wonder then. Yongqi is grateful."

Later, He walked with her back to her quarters.

"XiaoYanZi has missed you." She murmured.

He nodded. "HuangAhMa intends to give FangYan the title of a Marques."

"A well deserved honor."

"Yes…"

"But it means she'll be moving away from RongQinWangFu, doesn't it?"

He sighed, "I couldn't keep her close forever."

"I wonder how she'll manage," he added after a moment, "as the mistress of an estate."

ZiWei smiled, "don't underestimate her. She's learned much in her time at YiHeYuan. Mostly I think to keep her mind off her worries."

"Although, once FangYan marries, she'll have to cede some control."

"Oh. Is he to be married?" Why did the idea bother her?

He was about to reply but the door to her courtyard opened and XiaoYanZi rushed out, "oh, ZiWei! I thought I heard your voice! Such exciting news! Did you know brother is to be made a Marques?"

ZiWei laughed, "Yes, WuGe had just told me."

She smiled widely at FangYan, who had joined them, "well deserved, and welcome home."

"Thank you, GeGe."

She turned back to her sworn sister and noticed her just staring at Yongqi oddly.

"We should go inside," she said louder than usual.

Her voice seemed to have broken the spell and XiaoYanZi grabbed at her arm, "come see what brother has brought back for me!"

Things returned to normalcy rather quickly. ZiWei did find herself missing noisiness of XiaoYanZi's presence at times, but LaoFoYe's illness soon preoccupied much of her time.

"ZiWei, child...come here…"

ZiWei finished wringing the towel and obediently sat on the stool next to her grandmother's side.

"When Qing-er first suggested the idea of you attending to me, I thought it was just so she could keep temptation out of XueShiFu."

ZiWei blinked in surprise.

"But these years...you have kept loneliness at bay for an old woman."

"LaoFoYe…"

The empress dowager shook her head, "these last few months, as my body has begun to fail, I've had a lot of time to think. Watching you care for me, thinking on the years we have spent together...I am only human too."

"Don't say such pessimistic things. LaoFoYe, you will get better soon."

"Sometimes I think the heavens have been unfair to you. First to watch your mother leave you and now...to have to stay at my side."

"ZiWei made a choice…"

"Yes. And you have ever been an honest and dutiful child. I am not so proud that I cannot admit to being wrong on a first impression. Particularly now, when I have so little to lose."

"LaoFoYe..."

"Play the guqin for me. I've always liked to hear you play."

ZiWei wiped her grandmother's face before standing and doing as she bid. She tucked the comforter quietly around LaoFoYe, noting that the dowager empress was sleeping soundly, before departing for her own rooms.

When she woke the next morning, it was to the sound of wails. Rushing to the dowager empress's room, she noticed the servants all kneeling on the floor. She gasped and sank into a heap herself.

"Xiaojie…" she felt JinSuo's hands pull at her.

Right, she could not fall apart now. She still had duties to attend to, notifications that had to be sent, the proper rites to be done.

In her will, the dowager empress had made ZiWei a HeShuo GeGe, daughter of Xia GuiRen. To show her gratitude, ZiWei offered to go to the Imperial Tombs and watch over her grandmother's spirit as it completed its year long journey to the afterlife.

The Tombs provided much solitude, which ZiWei had grown used to at YiHeYuan. She also was not without visitors. Her brother visited and told her about his children. FangYan, usually with XiaoYanZi, brought her the news of the world and new reading materials. For her birthday, XiaoYanZi was even able to sneak in LiuQin and LiuHong.

"We're going to make lanterns," XiaoYanZi had declared, "we can't set off fireworks here, but the lanterns will be pretty enough."

"Don't forget to make a wish!" XiaoYanZi reminded her as they held their lanterns in hand.

ZiWei smiled and closed her eyes before letting go. "They are beautiful."

"Yes, I am full of good ideas," XiaoYanZi boasted before she ran over to fetch more lanterns.

"What did you wish for?"

"That everyone could always be this happy and content."

FangYan returned her smile.

"You should make your own wish," she nodded towards the lantern in his hand.

"So I should."

They watched as his lantern float up into the sky.

"And what did you wish for?"

"That you could be happy."

"But I am. Surrounded as I am by family and friends...I am very happy."

"Then I hope that you will stay as happy."

"FangYan…" she looked as though she wanted to say something, but instead just left his side briefly. She came back with another lantern in hand, "that's a second wish, and so you must release another lantern."

"Alright."

"ZiWei!" XiaoYanZi called, "come help!"

She laughed to see her sworn sister almost drowning in lanterns, "I think you were over enthusiastic, XiaoYanZi."

"No such thing," XiaoYanZi declared with a grin, "especially not for your birthday!"

"Come on," ZiWei smiled at FangYan, "we should go rescue her."

His smile did not falter as he walked at her side, "Yes."

Her stay at the Tombs were almost at an end when her door burst open one night.

"FangYan! What..."

"GeGe...I...I'm so sorry."

ZiWei frowned, "sorry?"

"WangYe...he…"

"What about Yongqi?"

"He…" looking into her eyes, he felt the words stick in his throat. How was he to tell her?

"FangYan?"

But it was his job, his duty, "GeGe...WangYe hid his illness from us all until...until he suddenly collapsed in court today and…"

"And what?" she could feel her hands begin to shake.

"GeGe…"

"Tell me."

He sat at the table then and reached to hold her hands, "GeGe...I fear...I fear WangYe will come here soon to keep LaoFoYe company."

"It's not possible…" she managed to whisper.

"GeGe…"

She shook her head, "not Yongqi…"

He engulfed her into his arms then and just held her as she cried.

"Wait…" she looked up at him, "XiaoYanZi…"

"Is in a state of shock, but she insisted I come and deliver the news to you myself."

"Thank you," she said, and meant it, "you have ridden far, I'll have JinSuo set up rooms for you."

"GeGe..."

"Yes?"

"You do not have to be so brave."

She smiled at him, a little brokenly, "Let me keep busy, until reality settles."

He nodded.

Later that night, she heard the sound of his xiao and walked into the courtyard to join him. He nodded at her but did not pause his playing.

When his song finally ended, she murmured softly, "Forgive me, the loss hits close for you too."

"WangYe was a great man...I would have been proud to serve him as my liege."

"Yes...HuangAhMa always had such high hopes for WuGe."

"The power vacuum that has been created…" he glanced at her apologetically, "you must not think me too cold hearted."

She shook her head, "These years at LaoFoYe's side...I am not ignorant of such matters. Your practicality does not undermine your grief."

He raised his xiao to his lips again. ZiWei, knowing it was his way of paying tribute to her brother, just listened.

She wrote a letter to her father, asking permission to extend her stay in the Tombs, and was relieved when it was granted. She wasn't too surprised when a week after her brother's remains were laid to rest, XiaoYanZi rode into the courtyard and indicated she was staying.

"Does your brother know?"

XiaoYanZi, dark circles under her eyes and thinner than she had been, just nodded.

"Come in then."

"It'll be just old times, won't it?" XiaoYanZi tried to smile, but it was a pale imitation of her usual wide grin.

She picked at her dinner, but ZiWei knew better than to press her.

It took another week before XiaoYanZi sat down next to ZiWei in the courtyard.

"ZiWei?"

ZiWei looked up from her embroidery.

"I...I think I loved him."

"XiaoYanZi…"

Her sworn sister shook her head, "and now...now he's gone. And I'll never be able to tell him."

ZiWei broke the silence, "WuGe loved you."

"He did?"

ZiWei nodded even as she reached to hold her sworn sister's hand, "but he knew you would not have been happy being a ceFuJin, or even a FuJin."

"No...I wouldn't have liked that very much. Not when I couldn't even be HuanZhuGeGe properly." XiaoYanZi agreed readily.

"But…" she speculated after a long pause, "maybe for him...maybe for him I would have tried harder."

"XiaoYanZi…"

"It's no use saying it now of course." XiaoYanZi took a shuddering breath, "it's all too late."

"It may not seem like it now," ZiWei kept her voice soft, "but with time, the pain will lessen."

"How much time?"

"I don't know. I suspect it's different for every individual."

"I've never been a very patient person," XiaoYanZi admitted.

ZiWei squeezed her hand sympathetically, "you'll have me with you, every step of the way."

It did take time. Even after another year passed, XiaoYanZi was still not her old self. But she was improved, mostly because she seemed to have found an outlet for her energies.

"Will you go to ShuFangZhai?"

"I suppose so. HuangAhMa will expect it. And I have nowhere else to go."

"Why don't you come home with me?"

"I suppose I may be able to convince HuangAhMa to allow a short visit."

"Not just for a short visit."

"How long should I intrude upon your hospitality then?"

"Forever."

"I don't think HuangAhMa will allow that."

"Why not?"

"It's just not done," ZiWei explained patiently.

"I can think of one way to make it possible," XiaoYanZi grumbled.

"What's that?"

"Nothing," XiaoYanZi said quickly, wishing she hadn't promised her brother that she wouldn't interfere.

ZiWei looked at her suspiciously but let it pass.

In truth, she was pretending to be ignorant again. XiaoYanZi had never really learned to be subtle after all. And there were times, when FangYan visited, that ZiWei felt a sense of rightness. The three of them were family already. And she was so very comfortable being herself in their company.

"Will GeGe make ShuFangZhai your new home?" FangYan asked her the same question, a fortnight before her sojourn at the Tombs were to end.

XiaoYanZi had disappeared for the day, claiming she wanted some time alone to visit Yongqi's grave.

ZiWei gave the same answer she had given his sister, adding, "I wish you would call me ZiWei. We've known each other so long now."

He just smiled a little at the familiar words, "XiaoYanZi is the mannerless one."

She shook her head, wondering why she continued to try to change his mind.

"XiaoYanXi said I should come live with her."

"Would you like to?"

She paused on the path to look him straight in the eyes, "I've gotten used to it over the past year."

"Oh."

"Will HuangShang allow such a visit?" He asked after a moment.

"He might. He's known about our sisterhood almost from the beginning."

"Ah yes."

"Although XiaoYanZi said she would want me to stay for longer than a visit."

"Oh." He felt afraid all of a sudden. "GeGe…"

"Yes?"

He steeled himself; he would meet her halfway. "If GeGe is willing, I would also welcome your stay for longer."

"HuangAhMa has made many exceptions for me, but...I'm afraid such a thing is simply not done."

"Not even if the two of you are sisters?"

"We are already sisters."

Ah, so she would have him speak plainly. Very well. Besides, she deserved to hear the truth. "If GeGe married me, then you would not have to be parted."

"You are a kind brother to care for your sister so much."

"It's not merely for her sake," he admitted, "but also for my own. GeGe...I know your heart was given a long time ago, but I...these years, I have come to care for you as more than just another sister. I do not ask for more than companionship but...if you are willing, I will do my best to be a good husband to you."

It was not the passionate declaration she had cut short, so long ago in YouYouGu, but she thought that this gentle understanding suited her better. She smiled at him, "you'll have to learn to call me ZiWei."

"GeGe?"

"I've learned that the funny thing about hearts," she shared, "is that they are capable of making new attachments."

XiaoYanZi was of course ecstatic. Though, it wasn't something that could be arranged in a fortnight. ZiWei still ended up making ShuFangZhai her residence, but it remained just a residence. Home in her mind was already with FangYan and XiaoYanZi. He still refused to call her by name, but she rather thought it had become a game of sorts between them, a semi ritual of a conversation as he continued to find various excuses to evade her request.

Soon enough though, her wedding day arrived. Qing-er had come to visit, and ZiWei found she could smile wholeheartedly at the other princess.

"ErKang and I both have only the best wishes for you."

ZiWei let the other princess put the string of beads around her neck, "I know."

Their eyes met in the mirror.

"You are happy?"

ZiWei's grin broadened and just nodded.

Qing-er looked at her a moment longer before she smiled, "perhaps our children will become playmates."

ZiWei smiled again and let LingGuiFei place the red cloth over her head.

When she stepped out of the carriage again, she could hear XiaoYanZi's voice, which regained some of its former excitement, and even well wishes from LiuQin and LiuHong. She dipped small curtsies in acknowledgment before allowing the officiant to guide her through the next steps. She was nervous when she was left alone in the bridal chamber, and had jumped when she heard the door open.

"It's just me," XiaoYanZi stage whispered.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to tell you how happy you have made brother. He isn't as demonstrative as I am, but I wanted to assure you that he really does love you very much."

"I know," ZiWei responded quietly.

"Good, good." XiaoYanZi pressed a wrapped bundle into her lap, "I'd better go now before brother gets annoyed at me for interfering."

ZiWei chuckled when she opened the package to find various pastries and snacks.

"I see that XiaoYanZi has been here."

ZiWei froze a moment as she felt the bed dip next to her. She scolded herself for being ridiculous, "Yes. I think she was afraid I would starve."

"It is a rather long day."

She smiled a little though he could not yet see it. "It's not so bad."

"Still, what say you to completing the rites sooner rather than later?"

At her nod of assent, he gestured for the officiant to begin.

There was a lot of red, was the first thought in her mind as the room was revealed to her gaze. And her new husband was very handsome, was her second thought as they shared the wine. She should be more nervous was her third thought, but found that as his hand held hers after the room emptied that she felt much too content to be afraid.

"GeGe."

"ZiWei," she countered.

He smiled at her, "I cannot call you that just yet."

"No?"

He shook his head and leaned closer. Her eyes fluttered shut as his lips met hers.

"ZiWei…" he breathed her name against her lips in a way that made her shudder.

She was wrong, she decided, he was also a passionate man.

"ZiWei…"

She gazed up at him, clad only in her underclothing.

"I owe you an apology."

"An apology?"

He nodded. "You had asked me once, how I knew you were not my sister."

"Yes?"

He smiled sheepishly at her, "I'm afraid I took advantage."

"Took advantage?"

He coughed and made his confession.

"Oh." She smiled again, "it is a very good thing that I am your wife now, isn't it?"

"Hmmm, yes. Marrying you is the honorable thing for me to do."

Her laughter was soon lost in other sounds as he made her his wife.

Later, she lay in his arms, just listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

"ZiWei?"

"Hmmm?" She smiled a little at the sound of her name.

"ErKang and I sparred the other day."

"Did you? I suppose such an event between fellow generals is not an anomaly."

"No. But...it's him, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

His hand did not pause in stroking her hair, "when you spoke of quiet sacrifices in the past."

She moved so she could look at his expression. "And if it is?"

"Is it wrong to be jealous?"

"You are my husband." She reminded him.

"Yes…" he captured her lips in his, as though to reinforce the fact.

"I promised my mother," ZiWei told him, "that I would not become another XiaYuHe. I asked for her help in overcoming that knot within my heart. It took time but also...I like to think that she sent you into my life to help."

"ZiWei…"

"ErKang is my past but you, FangYan, you are my present and my future."

He kissed her again. "It should please you then, to know that I won."

"If it would help your ego."

"It would," he admitted.

"Then I am very pleased."

"It's foolish, I know," he admitted in response to her amused expression.

"Then we must be fools together, for I find myself pleased that you are jealous."

"Well, you are my wife now."

"Yes. And if I find out that you had stolen peeks at other young ladies while they bathed, you can be sure that I would also be jealous."

He smiled at her, "Just you, I promise."

She returned his smile and placed her head on his chest again. Likewise, he resumed stroking her hair.

"I'm glad," she murmured after a moment, "that you can finally call me by name now."

"It was an intimacy I did not dare allow myself."

"Even though I asked it of you?"

"Especially because you asked it of me."

"Oh?"

"I had prepared myself to be content to watch over you, protect you, forever as a brother."

"What changed?"

"XiaoYanZi. She told me that it was enough for her to live with regrets."

"She is a good jiejie."

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "The two of you were always meant to be sisters, I think."

"In one way or another," she agreed.

He could feel her breathing evening out as sleep claimed her. He pressed another kiss to the top of her head and allowed his own eyes to close. He could not pinpoint the moment he realized he loved her, knew only that even from the beginning, she was a part of his family. He could not have foreseen in what capacity. He could feel his consciousness begin to drift and did not fight it. He hadn't told her of his promise to ErKang; it was superfluous. Her solid presence in his arms anchored him and he would continue ever to take care of her.