The Incredible Sinking Lorelais, Revisited
Chapter 1
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Lorelai's eyes fluttered open, and she found herself staring up at a ceiling she didn't recognize. She was groggy, her head was pounding, and she felt sick to her stomach.
She reached out and felt her immediate surroundings. She was definitely in a bed - that she was sure of. Whose bed, however, was the question.
She sat up and looked around, and realized that she was in Luke's apartment in his spare bed. She pushed off the blanket, happily discovering that she was fully dressed in her previous night's outfit.
She heard noises in the kitchen that she assumed was Luke, and she climbed out of the bed. She walked slowly across the cold hardwood floor toward the kitchen, and found Luke at the counter cutting up some fruit.
"Hey," she groggily greeted him.
Luke turned around, surprised that she was up. "Hey. Sorry, did I wake you?"
Lorelai shook her head, and she glanced around the apartment before looking back at him. "So, stupid question, but... what the hell am I doing here?"
"Yeah, figured you wouldn't really remember much." He poured her a glass of water from a pitcher, and set it down on the table. "Here, sit."
Lorelai sat down at the table and took a sip of the water. "What happened last night?"
Luke sat down across from her. "After you canceled our dinner plans, we grabbed some food at the diner, and then you didn't want to go home, so you asked if we could hang out up here for a little while."
"I did?"
"Yeah. And then you downed half a bottle of tequila."
Lorelai grimaced. "That explains this feeling I'm having right now."
"I'm gonna make you my special hangover shake," Luke said, gesturing to the blender and the fruit out on the counter behind him. "That might help."
Lorelai nodded appreciatively, and then glanced over at Luke's bed, and then nervously back at Luke. "So, just so I'm not wondering this forever, I'm gonna be blunt. Did we...um... you know... do anything?"
Luke's eyes widened. "Of course not."
"Oh, thank God." Lorelai exhaled a sigh of relief, and then quickly apologetically added, "Not that I find you repulsive or anything, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I'm kind of seeing someone and I'm pretty sure it's still considered cheating even if you can't remember it happening."
"I know what you meant," Luke replied. "And I'm seeing someone, too, remember?"
Lorelai confusedly stared at him for a moment, and then she finally recalled, "Oh, right. Nicole. The wife."
"Yup. The wife," he replied, uncomfortably glancing down at the table.
Lorelai noticed a reaction in his eyes at the mention of Nicole. "Uh, everything okay there? I mean, I don't wanna pry, but..."
"It's fine," he quickly replied.
Lorelai cocked her head to the side. "Luke..."
Luke sighed and then shrugged a little as he admitted, "We've been going through something, I don't really know what it is. She's been acting weird, we've been bickering a lot lately. And now she's in Boston... for work," he said, making air-quotes with his fingers for those last two words.
Lorelai frowned. "You think something's going on?"
Luke shrugged. "I don't know."
"I'm sorry," Lorelai said sympathetically. "Really."
"Forget it," Luke said, and getting back to the original question at hand, he added, "So, no, nothing happened here last night. We talked, we drank... well, mostly you talked and drank, but I listened and had a beer or two. And then you fell asleep on the couch."
Lorelai looked over at the couch, and then at the bed she'd woken up in. "And then you carried me to the bed?"
"I thought it'd be more comfortable," Luke said. "Figured you'd be feeling crappy enough without having a sore back to go with it."
Lorelai smiled. "That was sweet, thank you. I'm sorry if I ruined your plans for the evening."
"You were my plans for the evening," Luke reminded her. "We had dinner plans, remember?"
"Oh, right," Lorelai nodded.
Luke cleared his throat before hesitantly continuing. "Dinner plans you made because you wanted to ask me something." He paused a second. "Something about borrowing some money?"
Lorelai groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Ugh, I don't wanna talk about it, Luke. I'm sorry, I shouldn't put you in that position. Please, forget that I ever mentioned it."
"You want me to forget that you cried in my arms last night and told me that you're months away from achieving the dream you've had for years and might have to postpone it because you don't have enough money?"
Lorelai kept her face hidden as she meekly replied, "Yes, please."
"And even though I have the money you need and could help you avoid having to postpone that dream, you would still rather me just forget all about it?"
Lorelai dropped her hands from her face to her lap. "Again, yes, that would be great, thanks."
Luke rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Not happening." He reached for an envelope resting against the napkin holder on the center of the table, and he slid it over to her. "Here."
Lorelai eyed the envelope, but didn't reach for it. "Luke, what is that?"
"It's what you needed," he replied. "Take it."
Lorelai exhaled a sigh. "Luke, no. I didn't even get to officially ask you."
"Well, now you don't have to," Luke replied. "Plus, you know I don't like official things anyway."
Lorelai looked down at the envelope. She needed that money desperately, she wanted it, she had every intention of asking him for it... but now that it was right in front of her, she felt guilty. She felt like a burden to her friend for asking for it, and she felt ashamed for even needing it in the first place.
Luke noticed her hesitation and he pushed the envelope a little closer to her. "Take it. I want you to have it. I want you to use it and finish that inn and make your dream come true, okay?" he said calmly.
"I feel bad," she admitted. "I feel stupid that I couldn't handle this without begging for help."
"Hey, sometimes dreams are so big that you can't reach 'em on your own," Luke told her. "It doesn't mean you're a failure or not good at what you're doing. Sometimes you need some help from a friend who just wants to see you succeed, who wants to see you happy." He tapped the envelope. "So, here."
Lorelai's lips curved into a smile, and suddenly felt overly emotional as tears formed in the corner of her eyes. "Thank you," she replied in practically a whisper, and she sniffled a little. "Really, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"I'm gonna pay you back, with interest," Lorelai promised him.
Luke waved her off. "Don't worry about that right now."
"I know you don't like official things, but I'm going to have something official drawn up for this loan, Luke," Lorelai told him. "Something we'll both sign."
"Okay, fine, whatever, do whatever you want." Luke stood up from the table. "I'm gonna make you a shake."
"Thanks." Lorelai glanced around. "Do you happen to know where my purse is? I wanna check my cell."
Luke gestured to the coat rack by the door. "Hanging up."
Lorelai glanced toward the door, and saw her pink coat and purse hanging neatly on the rack. She walked over to it and fished her cell phone from her purse.
She flipped it open and saw a missed call from Rory, and she listened to the voicemail as she walked back over to the kitchen table. When it was done, she flipped the phone closed with a sigh.
"Everything okay?" Luke asked, glancing back at her over his shoulder.
"Yeah, Rory and I just keep missing each other," Lorelai said. "One massive game of phone tag."
"Oh, sorry. You mentioned last night you guys haven't really seen or talked much lately. I'm sure that's been tough."
"Yeah, I miss her." Lorelai gestured toward the door of the bathroom. "That's the bathroom, right?"
"Yup."
Lorelai disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes. She washed her face and tidied up her messy hair a bit, and brushed her teeth with some toothpaste on her finger.
When she walked back out, Luke was gone, but the apartment door was open and there was a milkshake on the table in front of her chair. She sat down and started drinking the shake, hoping it would do the trick and make her feel better.
A minute later, Luke walked back into the apartment carrying a mug of coffee.
"There you are," Lorelai greeted him. "Thought you were kidnapped. However, that didn't stop me from sitting down and quietly enjoying this shake."
"Sorry, wanted to grab this for you from downstairs." He set the coffee on the table in front of her.
Lorelai smiled up at him. "Thanks. You're good at taking care of hangover victims."
"Yup, special skill of mine." He sat down with her and started eating a banana. He eyed her for a few moments, watching her alternate between the coffee and the shake. "So, can I ask you something?" Luke asked her.
"You've earned it."
"Last night, the way you were talking, the way you were so upset... it seemed like a lot of stuff had been building up for awhile and you finally just exploded," Luke said.
"Is that an observation or a question?" she asked.
"That was an observation," Luke replied. "But here's my question... why are you keeping that stuff in? Why haven't you told Sookie or Rory or hell, this guy you're seeing, what you've been dealing with? You need to let it out."
Lorelai let out a little laugh. "Why? Well, um, let's see... maybe because it's humiliating? Maybe because I was hoping I could solve it all on my own without having to suck other people into my own depressing issues? Maybe because I figured the less people who know I'm a failure, the better?"
"Stop. You're not a failure," he said sternly. "Needing help does not make you a failure. You think I started this diner with no help? You think Miss Patty started her dance studio with no help? Or Mia started the Independence Inn all on her own with no help at all? Come on, Lorelai."
"Well, I appreciate that, but still... having to admit to my business partner that she's not pulling her weight all the time, or to tell my daughter who admires me so much that I'm struggling, or to admit to the guy I'm dating that I'm not as together as he thinks I am and I'm literally falling apart... not ideal conversation topics."
"I get that," Luke replied with a nod. "And I'm just bringing it up because... well, if you don't have anyone to talk to, I'm here. If you start getting frustrated or overwhelmed or whatever, and you need someone to rant to or to unload on, come talk to me about it, okay? I'll help you figure things out... preferably before you have another meltdown."
Lorelai smiled at him gratefully. "You're pretty nice, you know that?"
Luke returned the smile. "Sometimes."
Lorelai reached over and patted his hand appreciatively. "Thank you, Luke."
He held her gaze for a moment before softly replying, "You're welcome."
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Half an hour later, Lorelai pulled up to her house and walked inside. She was surprised to find Lane on the couch reading a magazine, and then remembered Rory had mentioned Lane would be crashing at the house for a few days.
"Lane, hey," Lorelai greeted her. "Everything okay here?"
Lane nodded. "Yeah, everything's good. Were you at your boyfriend's?"
Lorelai hesitated a moment, realizing it was easier to lie than to explain otherwise. "Yeah, sorry, I should've called to tell you."
"It's okay."
"You find everything you need?"
"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks again for letting me stay here. It won't be for long, I promise. I'm going apartment hunting today with my band before my shift at the diner, so hopefully we'll find something."
"No rush," Lorelai told her. "It's nice having some company." She gestured toward the stairs. "I'm gonna go take a shower, and maybe lie down for awhile, I have a headache."
Lorelai headed upstairs, threw her purse and coat on her bed, and headed into the bathroom. She popped a couple of Advil, took a long hot shower, then threw on her robe and went back to her bedroom. She shut the door, collapsed on the bed, and closed her eyes.
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When she woke up, Lorelai glanced over at the clock and realized she'd been asleep for a few hours. It was almost lunch time. She climbed out of bed and got dressed, then grabbed her cell phone from her purse and headed downstairs.
She checked the machine to find another message from Rory, and she immediately called her back. She was shocked when Rory answered, happy to finally connect with her, and they chatted for awhile.
While they were talking, the call waiting beeped, and Lorelai put Rory on hold to answer the other line. "Hello?"
"Hey, it's me," Luke replied.
"Luke, hi," she replied. "What's up?"
"Just wanted to check in... you feeling okay?"
"Uh, that depends... mentally, physically, or emotionally?" Lorelai joked.
"All of the above," Luke replied. "Let's start with physically... your hangover go away?"
"Yes, thanks to a combination of the special Danes milkshake, some Advil, and a long nap, my body doesn't seem to hate me now as much as it did earlier," Lorelai replied.
"Good, good," he replied. "What about the other stuff?"
"Feeling much better today than last night on the bench, that's for sure," Lorelai confirmed. "Thanks again for everything, really... you've been my own personal therapist for the past 16 hours. Not to mention you singlehandedly kept my dream alive."
"Anytime."
"Which reminds me, I still have to call Sookie and let her know about our new investor. We might even hang a picture of you in the lobby."
"Please don't," Luke replied dryly.
Lorelai smiled into the phone. "Okay, fine." She paused a moment, listening to the background noise on his side of the phone. "Are you driving?"
"Yeah, running an errand," Luke replied. "I better go, I'm almost there. Just wanted to check in, make sure you were alive."
"Appreciate it," Lorelai replied. "Maybe I'll see you later at the diner for dinner."
"Okay. See ya."
Lorelai hung up with Luke and returned to her phone call with Rory. When they were done chatting, Lorelai called Sookie to fill her in on the money, and to apologize for yesterday's argument. They talked things out, and then Lorelai went to the kitchen to get something for lunch.
While she was eating, she thought about yesterday's meal at her parents' house. Being called out by Gran at the table in front of her parents and Jason had been a hard blow to her ego. She felt humiliated and angry, and disappointed in herself for the struggles she'd been having with the inn.
Another thought popped into her head... anyone at that table yesterday could see how upset she was. She couldn't hide it, it was clear on her face and in her demeanor. And yet she hadn't heard from anyone to check up on her. She honestly wouldn't have expected Emily and Richard to do so, but the fact that Jason hadn't called to see if she was okay was a little disconcerting.
She started running through possible reasons in her head. Maybe he was busy and hadn't had a few minutes to call her, or maybe he was embarrassed for her and wasn't sure how to approach the topic. Maybe he thought it would be easier if he didn't bring it up. Or maybe he didn't actually realize how upset she'd been.
It started making her think about the qualities of a long-term partner. Yes, she wanted physical attraction, a shared sense of humor, some common interests to talk about; but she needed a partner who could take care of her emotional needs. Who recognized on their own when she was down or hurting or just not herself. During the past few months with Jason, she'd noticed that was the one category he most often fell flat in.
She needed someone who could give her the emotional support that Luke had been giving her. When she'd met him the night before to cancel their dinner plans, he'd noticed right away that things were not okay. And he asked her about it, he listened to her, and he comforted her. He gave her encouraging pep talks to try to make her feel better. He took care of her last night and this morning at his apartment, and then called her at home to check up on her. That's the type of support she needed from a partner.
She recalled the night before that she had said to Luke that sometimes she wished she was married, that she had a partner to pick up the slack. She'd been thinking it more lately, having so much going on with the inn. And even though she was currently dating Jason, she honestly couldn't see herself spending the rest of her life with him. He wasn't the one.
Lorelai finished lunch, made a few calls for work, and then, with a heavy sigh, picked up the phone and called Jason.
"This is Jason," he answered after the first ring.
"Hey, it's me," Lorelai greeted him.
"Hi," Jason replied. "What's going on?"
"Well, I'm still in shock from yesterday's lunch, otherwise known as World War 3, but other than that, just peachy."
"Yeah, that was intense, right?" Jason replied. "Your grandmother makes my father look like Mr. Rogers. I've met with clients who I'm pretty sure might have been in the mafia who were warmer toward me than she was."
"Yeah, that's Trix for you. She speaks her mind." Lorelai took a deep breath. "So, listen, do you have some time this afternoon to meet for a coffee?"
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. . . . .
That evening, Lorelai walked into the diner and went to talk to Lane at the counter. "Hey, Lane."
"Lorelai, hey," she greeted her excitedly. "Guess what! We found an apartment just down the street! Zach and Brian and I are gonna split the rent."
Lorelai gasped. "Whoa, that was fast! Congratulations."
"I'm so excited," Lane replied. "You can't imagine the stress one has when they're homeless."
"Oh, I can definitely imagine it," Lorelai confirmed. "I'm happy for you guys."
"Thanks."
Lorelai glanced around the diner. "Is Luke around?"
Lane winced a little and pointed toward the ceiling. "He's upstairs."
Lorelai narrowed her eyes at Lane's reaction. "Why the flinchy face? What's wrong?"
"Well, he came in about an hour ago and he looked upset," she said, lowering her voice. "He asked Caesar and I if we could close up for him later, then went up to his apartment, and I haven't seen him since. "
Lorelai raised an eyebrow. "Hm, I wonder what that's about. I'm gonna go check on him."
Lorelai made her way upstairs and knocked lightly on Luke's apartment door.
"What?" Luke yelled from inside. Snapped was more like it. Boy, he sounded angry.
"Um, Luke, it's me," Lorelai hesitantly called. "Are you okay?"
She could hear him slowly walking toward the door, and he unlocked it, opened it, then turned to walk back toward the couch without saying a word. She walked in and shut the door, then headed toward the couch.
There were a couple of beer bottles on the coffee table. "Oh, I see, it's happy hour," Lorelai remarked. "Can I partake in that, or did you drink everything yourself?"
"Check the fridge," Luke replied, pointing toward the kitchen.
Lorelai grabbed a beer from the fridge and walked over to the couch. As she sat down next to him, she noticed a packet of important looking papers on the table next to the beer bottles and wondered if they were the reason for his mood. "What's that?" she asked, gesturing to them.
Luke exhaled a deep breath and rubbed his forehead. "It's the divorce papers we had drawn up before. Finally gonna sign 'em."
Lorelai's eyes widened. "What happened?"
"We're getting divorced, that's what happened," he replied. He took a long swig of his beer and set it back on the table.
Lorelai turned on the couch to face him, crisscrossing her legs in front of her. "What happened, Luke? Talk to me. You have something big going on, and you need someone to talk to... let me return the favor, please? You listened to me last night and this morning, let me be the listener tonight."
Luke was quiet for a minute before he finally decided to open up to her. "I told you Nicole was up in Boston, right?"
"Yeah, for work," Lorelai replied, air-quoting the phrase as he'd done earlier.
"Yeah, so I went over to our place in Litchfield and I was kind of snooping around, looking for clues, you know, because I've had this feeling that something's been going on," Luke explained. "She's been acting weird lately."
"And you found something?" she asked, and then grimaced in preparation of his response.
"I found this metal box in the top of her closet hidden under some blankets," Luke replied. "It had a little lock on it, so I figured there was probably something in there she didn't want me to see. So I pried it open with a screwdriver." He quickly added, "I know, I know, it's an invasion of privacy and all that, but my gut was telling me something was up."
"And what did you and your gut find?"
"There were some important documents in there, birth certificate, stuff like that," Luke replied. "But I also found a couple of cards from some guy named Victor, and the most recent one was dated a few weeks ago and talked about what he couldn't wait to do to her in Boston."
Lorelai gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh, no, Luke."
"And another card that talked about what sounds like a very active night in a New York hotel room last month," Luke replied, and then he sighed softly. "There were a few more, but I didn't read them. I had all the information I needed."
"Luke, I'm so sorry," Lorelai told him, shaking her head disappointedly. "What did you do?"
"I called her. And of course she didn't answer, I didn't expect her to. Why would you answer your husband's phone call when you're out of town with your lover? So I left her a loud, angry message telling her I knew everything and that it was over, that I'd have these divorce papers signed before she got back."
"Did she call you back?"
"Yup, she did." Luke took a long swig of his beer, and then went over to the fridge to get a new one. Lorelai waited with bated breath for him to continue the story, but didn't want to rush him. As he slowly walked back to the couch, he asked, "And do you wanna hear the best part?"
"Um... yes?" Lorelai hesitantly replied.
"She didn't even try to deny anything," Luke replied, shaking his head angrily. "She said I wasn't fully in the relationship, so I left her no choice but to look elsewhere."
Lorelai groaned. "I can't believe she blamed you for her cheating." She reached over and patted his leg comfortingly. "I'm really sorry, Luke... you don't deserve that."
Luke didn't respond, he just nodded and sipped his beer.
"Look, I know I wasn't Nicole's biggest fan," Lorelai continued, "but I never saw this coming. I never imagined that's how this would eventually end."
Luke looked over at her. "But you did think it would eventually end, didn't you? You didn't think we were right together, right?"
Lorelai shrugged a little, but felt uncomfortable answering honestly.
"You can say it, I'm not gonna be mad," Luke told her. "You were right anyhow."
Lorelai shrugged again. "I guess, yeah, it didn't always seem like you two were a perfect match, but I didn't expect Lifetime movie adultery drama to be involved."
"Yeah, me either." Luke squeezed his fist tightly and dropped it hard on the couch cushion beside him. "God, I'm so stupid. We should've gotten divorced the second we got off that damn cruise ship."
"You're not stupid," Lorelai countered. "You were trying to make a relationship work, a relationship that you saw potential in. Isn't it better that you tried and realized you were wrong than to always wonder if it could have been something really special?"
Luke took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly before looking over at her. "I guess."
Lorelai took a sip of her beer. "Listen, do you want me to leave you alone? I understand if you don't feel like company right now."
Luke shrugged at her. "I don't mind," he said. "You can stay if you want."
Lorelai smiled. "Okay." She was relieved he let her stay. She didn't want to leave him alone after the day he'd had, she wanted to be there in case he needed to talk. Not to mention, she'd been having her own hellish 24 hours and could really use some company herself.
Lorelai relaxed against the back of the couch and propped her feet up on the coffee table. She nestled her beer between her knees and folded her arms across her chest. "So, I'm not comparing my situation to yours by any means, but if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one on this couch whose relationship ended today."
Luke's interest was piqued and he raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? What happened?" he asked, happy for the distraction from his own failed relationship. There was also a tinge of guilt for feeling relieved to hear the guy was out of the picture.
"Well, I'd been seeing this guy for a few months, and he had some quirks, but overall, things were pretty good. He was funny... smart... nice. Even if he did make me sleep in the guest room."
Luke narrowed his eyes. "What?"
"He has insomnia," Lorelai explained. "He has to be alone to sleep."
Luke's eyes widened. "Wow."
"Yeah. Anyway, I did have a good time with him, but there was one major check box he didn't hit on my list of partner qualities, and I realized he wasn't ever gonna hit it. And like you were talking about your gut before... I knew in my gut that he wasn't really the one, you know?"
"Gotta follow your gut," Luke said, nodding. "So... you ended it?"
"Yup. I met him at a coffee shop and told him I wanted to break up."
"How'd he take it?"
"He clearly wasn't on the same page, so it came as kind of a shock for him."
Luke watched her for a moment before asking, "And what about you? How are you taking it?"
"A little sad," she admitted. "I mean, I know it was the right decision, but it's always sad to say goodbye to someone in your life."
"Yeah, it is." Luke held out his beer toward her. "Well, here's to our next relationships turning out better than the last ones."
Lorelai clinked her beer bottle against his. "Cheers." They each took a drink, and then Lorelai asked, "You hungry? I haven't eaten dinner yet."
"Not really, but I can run down and make you something," Luke offered.
Lorelai shook her head and stood up from the couch. "No, you stay here, take the night off from cooking. I'll go get us something for dinner, because even if you're not hungry now, you're gonna need to soak up that alcohol with something."
"It's just beer, it's not heavy liquor," Luke said with a shrug.
"Uh, the just beer defense doesn't apply when you've had six of them," Lorelai pointed out. "By the way, you're almost out of it, so I'll get some more of that, too, and then we'll have a good old-fashioned wallowing night."
Luke looked confused. "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means we're gonna eat and drink and hang out and commiserate over our crappy days," Lorelai explained.
Luke raised an eyebrow. "Wow, can't tell you how great that sounds," he said dryly.
Lorelai smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "I'll be back."
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To be continued...