A Monty Python skit done with Family Guy characters! Thought a Family Guy fanfic would look good on my profile!
Family Guy
Reporting A Crime
By: Trenton Sands
At the Quahog Police Dept. Cleveland enters and Joe is at the desk.
Cleveland: Good evening, I wish to report a robbery.
Joe: What?
Cleveland: (Speaking up: I wish to report a robbery.)
Joe: Speak a little louder.
Cleveland: (Shouting): I wish TO report A robbery!
Joe: Speak lower.
Cleveland: (calming down): I wish to report a robbery.
Joe: Nope, still not getting anything. Can you speak in a high
register?
Cleveland: What do you mean, 'high register'?
Joe: What?
Cleveland: (in a high pitched voice): I wish TO REPORT A robbery!
Joe: That's it! A little higher!
Cleveland: (Still in a high pitched voice): I wish TO REPORT A robbery!
Joe: A what?
Cleveland: ROBBERY!
Joe: That's the exact frequency, keep it up!
Quagmire walks in.
Quagmire: (In a high pitched voice): Hello, Joe!
Joe: (In a deep monotoned voice): Morning Quagmire!
Cleveland starts to explain what he's seen in a high pitched voice.
Cleveland: (still speaking in a high pitched voice): I WAS JUST
COMING OUT OF THE BATHROOM, AND THEN I SAW A DOG AND BABY AND A GANG OF TEENAGERS RUNNING OUT OF A BANK WITH $5000 STOLEN!
Joe: I'm afraid I'm going off duty now, talk to Quagmire. (Joe walks
out of the room, and Quagmire comes to the desk and listens to Cleveland's
story.)
Cleveland: (Still talking in a high-pitched voice.) I WAS JUST COMING
OUT OF THE BATHROOM, AND...
Quagmire: (interrupting): Excuse me sir, but why the funny voice?
Cleveland: Oh, I'm sorry I got used to that talking to the Joe.
Quagmire: Speak in a lower register.
Cleveland: (In a low-deep voice): I wish to report the lost of $5000!
Quagmire: $5000! That's serious! You better talk to the Detective
Inspector, Peter.
Joe walks back in the room, and Peter comes up to Cleveland.
Peter: (In a deep voice): What seems to be the trouble, Sargent
Quagmire?
Quagmire: (In a fast voice like an auctioneers): This black man here just reported
that he walked out of the bathroom and saw a dog and a baby and some accomplices run
out of a bank and said that there was $5000 stolen!
Peter: I see. Where do you live?
Cleveland: 121 Hollyrow Road on the Corner of 21st street.
Quagmire repeats the address in a fast voice like an auctioneers.
Joe: (In a high pitched voice): He just reported a robbery, Sargent!
Peter talks in an incomprehensibly fast voice about the robbery to Joe, who
talks in a high pitched voice which, too in inaudible.
Quagmire: (Walking up to Joe & Peter, in a squeaky voice): THIS IS
POINTLESS!
Joe: (In a slow dull voice): I must've been somebody else.
Peter: (On the phone): Thank you, Sargent! Don't worry sir, we'll get
this done right away!
Cleveland just stands there confused.
Joe: (High pitched voice): You think I'm stupid, Sargent!
Quagmire: (In a fast voice): We should call the SWAT cars!
Peter: (In a slow voice): Good idea.
Joe (On a microphone, singing): CALLING ALL SWAT CARS IN THE AREA!
A scene changes to Meg on stage. Talking in a deep demonic voice.
Meg: I THINK THAT WAS IN VERY BAD TASTE!
THE END