It has really been a long time since I have updated. Please forgive me! (っ- ‸ – ς)
Life happened and I have been having moments where it feels like nothing gets better.
Anyway, I've been working almost two weeks on this chapter. I can't tell you how many documents I have saved that are different versions of what happens. To me, this one was the best. Though, that may not be saying much because I feel like I could've done this chapter better. I am slightly worried it seems rushed, plain, or even predictive. Then again, I've read it over and over and over again.
Anyway, on to the story!
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Failure.
It is a word that everyone loathes. No one wants to be considered as such, nor do they wish for their actions to be as well. Everyone wishes to be successful, to only be met with positive outcomes in life so that they can be happy. Failure just brings out the self-hatred that is hidden beneath the surface. It causes your mind to torment yourself in ways that no one else can. You become your own worst enemy, attacking yourself while you are weak and vulnerable until the point you break.
It was something he detested. He growled as he snapped the deer's neck. Never in his long life had he felt like this. He was Sesshomaru, the Killing Perfection.
Perfection...
No longer did he feel perfect. He stared at the dead deer in his hand as he growled once more. The reason he took the animal's life was pointless. He was a failing as an alpha and nothing he did would make it better.
Rin had cried for days when he returned without the insufferable woman. Her cries worsened as he stated she would never return. One day, he could no longer take it and snapped at the child. The moment he told her to stop her senseless crying, she stopped. She stopped everything. The girl no longer talked, ate, and drank. Her chestnut brown eyes became devoid of life. The laughter that he came so use to hearing every day was now gone. Even Jaken and Ah-Un became depressed. They knew if this continued, Rin would eventually die.
He lifted the animal onto his shoulder. As he walked through the forest, he could not help but dwell on his actions. Perhaps, if he had not snapped at Rin, she would have eventually gotten over the woman's absence. It was something he had not meant to do and was furious at himself for the break in his composure.
The day he had snapped at Rin was the same day Kagura appeared. She had claimed Naraku poisoned the woman and laid dying alone in the woods. He had no intention of going after her. She was no longer his to deal with. Her death would be a failure of his brother, not him. Yet, the moment Kagura vanished, he flew to chase after Kimiko's scent. Why he did such a thing, he still did not know.
So many things had angered him that day. The fact he went searching for her, that the wind sorceress lied to him, Naraku's hand on Kimiko's face, how his beast demanded they take her with them as she walked away, and being greeted with Rin's crying when he returned. As she cried, his beast argued for him to turn around and get her. It was to point that he no longer had any patience and verbally lashed out at the human girl.
No amount of flowers would make her return to normal. Unconsciously, as he traveled to find fields of flowers for Rin, he had placed his pack close to his brother's. The distance between them was great, yet, the fact he could easily smell them was of no comfort. He was sure this was his beast's doing. However, he couldn't make himself leave. When Inuyasha's pack moved, he made his follow. Sesshomaru didn't know why but eventually wrote it off as a last resort. He could go grab the woman if things did not change for the better.
As he turned to make his way back to Rin, his body tensed. He faintly smelled blood. Without thinking, Sesshomaru dropped the deer and flew through the woods. For the moment, all logical thinking had gone away. The moment he smelled the blood, her blood, instinct took over, telling him to protect.
When Sesshomaru arrived, he was greeted with the sight of Inuyasha in the hand of a giant oni. The oni laughed as he slowly began to crush Inuyasha. The daiyokai ignored it as his eyes scanned the area for the reason he was here. He glanced at the bodies that laid on the ground. It was the monk, the slayer, and the miko. At first, he thought them dead until his sensitive ears could hear their faint breathing.
Movement from above caused him to look up. Kimiko held an old sword as she rode the nekomata. They flew around above the oni watching him closely. When the timing was right, she jumped off the yokai's back and dove at the oni. With careful aiming, the sword pierced through its eye. It screamed out in pain as it fell onto its back. She quickly applied more pressure to the sword, pushing it down until the beast laid silent.
With the oni now dead, Inuyasha managed to free himself from its hand. Though the main threat was now dead, his instincts told him he was still in danger. He was confused until his golden eyes landed on his brother.
"Why the hell are you here," Inuyasha growled.
Worried about a new threat, Kimiko spun around. Her eyes widened as she shouted, "Sesshomaru!" She quickly jumped off the oni's body and raced towards him.
"Oi! What the hell are you doing?! Don't run to him!"
Kimi paid her friend no mind as she came to a stop in front of the Lord of the West. As she looked at him, she became worried. His eyes were no longer golden. "Sesshomaru? Are you okay? Your eyes are red."
It took him a moment to register her words. He was more focused on examining her for injuries. When he realized she only bled from minor cuts, he began to relax. The red receded from his eyes as his logical half returned. As he realized where he was and why he was there, he became angry with himself. For whatever reason, his beast felt they needed to protect her and he didn't like it.
"Hn," he replied coldly.
"That's not an answer, Sesshomaru."
He glared at her. As he went to reprimand her for not using his title, movement from behind her caught his attention. For whatever reason, the oni was no longer dead. It pulled the sword out from its eye and threw the sword at her. Without hesitation, Sesshomaru pushed her, causing her to fall onto her back. The blade barely missed her as she fell and pierced Sesshomaru in his right shoulder.
"Shit," Inuyasha cursed. He had chosen to check on Kagome and the others instead of arguing with Kimiko and his brother. When he saw the oni move, it was too late to try to stop it from throwing the blade. It both shocked and relieved him that Sesshomaru decided to protect her. Inuyasha glanced back down at the woman in his arms. He shook Kagome repeatedly. "Come on, Kagome! Wake up!"
As the oni began to stand, Sesshomaru ignored the pain as he pulled the sword from his chest. Determined to make the oni stay dead, he drew out Tokijin and rushed at it. When he got close, he swung the sword, however, it did not pierce the oni's skin. The sword vibrated as though it had just struck a boulder. Irritated, the oni reached down to grab Sesshomaru, who managed to jump out of the way.
"It has a jewel shard," Kimiko yelled. "It made its skin impenetrable! It probably resurrected it as well!"
With another firm shake, Inuyasha felt relieved when Kagome began to open her eyes. Before she could ask any questions, he helped her sat up and placed her nearby bow in her lap. He quickly pulled an arrow out of her quiver on her back and handed it to her. "Shoot an arrow through its other eye, now! After, we need to quickly grab the shard!"
A bit dazed, Kagome stood up and surveyed her surroundings. Needless to say, she was astounded to see Sesshomaru. She started to wonder why and when he got here until the oni roared, bringing her from her thoughts. Such things could wait until later, right now they needed to defeat this thing. She nocked the arrow and released a deep breath as she focused on her target. With a silent prayer for it to hit the mark, she released.
The bright light emitted as her arrow hit even made Sesshomaru shield his eyes, not that he would admit it. As the light dimmed, it revealed that a large part of the oni was purified. Its body fell backward and laid on the ground once more. With Kagome's help, Inuyasha darted to it and pulled out the jewel shard embedded into its skin.
Motion from the corner of her eye made Kimiko glance at her sister. As Sango began to sit up, Kimi felt relieved and decided to focus on her savior. She hurried to Sesshomaru's side. "Are you okay," she asked.
He held back a growl as he stared at her. Her worried expression didn't sit well with him. It offended him that she thought something as weak as that would've severely hurt him. However, a small part of him liked the fact she was worried about his well being.
"It would take much more than that petty attempt to kill this one."
As a smile replaced her worried expression, it triggered something in him. He felt... warm. It reminded him of how he'd feel when Rin would laugh and smile at him, except it felt different. The feeling was nearly the same but something was off. As he was about to shrug it off, the feeling radiated as she threw her arms around him.
"Thank you," she whispered.
He didn't speak nor did he push her away. The idea to do so popped into his head, yet he didn't. This woman triggered strange reactions in him and for the life of him, he could not understand why. He knew it had something to do with his beast, his raw instinct and emotion; his true self. It was something he needed to investigate at a later time.
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing," Miroku whispered as he began to stand up.
"Yeah," Sango replied as she helped him. She didn't know how to take in the sight in front of her. Kimiko, her sister, was hugging the Lord of the West, who also wasn't complaining about it.
"If you think that is something, you should've seen when he pushed her out of the way so he'd get hit instead," Shippo commented from Kirara's back as she walked up to them.
"That would explain his wound," Kagome replied.
Inuyasha remained silent. He was trying to process all that was happening. The Sesshomaru he knew would have killed anyone who tried to get near him, let alone hug him. Nor would he have tried to save someone else. He wasn't thrilled about it, but perhaps, Kimiko truly was Sesshomaru's Kikyo. The one who could change his brother for the better.
A blush covered Kimiko's face as she pulled away. "Sorry, I don't know what got into me."
"Hn."
She twirled her hair around her finger as she tried to think of what to say. "So, what brought you here?"
His eyes watched as she played with her hair. "This one was hunting and smelled your blood."
Her finger stopped twirling as she gazed at him seriously. "You smelled my blood?"
"Your arms and legs are cut, are they not?" Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. He wondered if she paid enough attention during the battle to know that she was hurt. Perhaps, she had hit her head and was having memory problems.
"No, that's not what I mean."
"Oh, shit," Inuyasha whispered as his ears flattened against his head.
Kimiko crossed her arms as she stared at Sesshomaru. "Your sense of smell may be amazing but to smell my blood means you still have to be close. Even if the smell was faint, Inuyasha would have been able to smell your scent as well." She turned her attention to the hanyo. "You told me he wasn't anywhere near us! That you couldn't even find his scent!"
"Busted," Shippo sang.
She glared at Shippo, "Don't think I'm not upset with you as well! Same goes for you Kirara!" The nekomata whined as she lowered her head.
"Kimiko, I'm sure they were just worried about-", Miroku began to speak.
Kimiko interrupted, "Worried about what? Sesshomaru? He brought me back to life and helped me find you all! Hell, he helped me when Naraku appeared! He's been more of a friend to me than any of you!" Tears began to form as she glared at them all. "You knew I wanted to see Rin again and that I had a nagging feeling to find her! You claimed you'd help, yet you obviously didn't try!"
Friend. Sesshomaru didn't know how to feel about that. He never had one nor did he feel he needed one. He wasn't sure if he wanted to give her the luxury of calling him such. However, there was a more pressing matter at hand. Rin needed her mother. He figured if he ever needed to take the woman, it'd be slightly difficult. Yet, right now it couldn't be any easier.
"This one came here for his own curiosity. These matters do not interest me." He turned around and began to walk away. "Stay or follow if you wish."
Kimiko watched as he walked away. Stay or follow. She looked at her group and friends. Their expressions told her they wanted her to stay. Even though she was angry and hurt, her heart was split into two. Yet, the nagging feeling she had told her to follow. With one last glance at her friends, she did.
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Jaken danced in front of Rin. He began to spin around and purposely tripped over his own feet. He glanced up at the girl only to see that she remained the same. Her face was void of all emotion. It reminded him of his lord, yet, somehow it was scarier. It was to the point that the imp was running out of ideas of what to do. Well, not totally. Jaken knew what needed to be done. His lord, on the other hand, was against the idea. Any time Jaken suggested they find the woman, Sesshomaru would give him a murderous look.
"That's it," Jaken exclaimed. "I'm sorry my lord, but you are wrong!"
"What is it that I am wrong about?"
Jaken froze. He dared not look behind him, but he knew he had to. With quick speed, he spun around, bowed his head, and dropped to his hands and knees. "Forgive me! Please!"
"You haven't changed at all," Kimiko giggled.
The sound of her voice made his eyes widen and mouth drop. He slowly looked up and saw Sesshomaru holding a dead boar with Kimiko by his side. A part of him wondered if he was dreaming. Did his lord really let go of his pride and asked for help?
"Ma...Ma?" Rin stared at the woman as though she expected her to fade away at any moment.
The moment she heard her voice, Kimiko ran to the girl. "Rin, are you okay? Your voice sounds hoarse." She knelt down and placed her hand on her daughter's cheek. "You also seem a bit thin. Please tell me you have been eating."
Rin felt every emotion at once. It felt as though everything she had held in had finally broken the dam and came pouring out. She had so much she wanted to say but nothing came out. Instead, she could only cry as her mother embraced her tightly.
"I'm sorry," Kimiko whispered. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be gone so long. I tried so hard to find you, I really did."
Sesshomaru watched the two cry as they held each other. The pain he felt in his chest was something new to him. It did not come from his recent wound. Instead, it felt as though it was coming from his heart. He did not care for this new sensation nor was he entirely sure what was causing it.
'Guilt.'
Sesshomaru dropped the boar to the ground and motioned for Jaken to clean and cook it. After, he walked towards a tree, sat down, and closed his eyes as he talked with his beast. 'What exactly do you mean?'
'It is what you are feeling.'
'This one feels guilty of nothing.'
'I am the raw essence of you. You may be the logical and tactical one, but I know the matters of our heart. I know all of what you deny exists. Our desires, insecurities, and fears. The emotionless exterior you use on others will never work on me. So, lying to me is pointless.'
'...'
'Your silence proves that you know I am right. Now, if you haven't figured it out yet, you feel guilty for waiting to reunite them for so long. Which, would not have happened if it hadn't been for me. For the longest, you refused to take the appropriate action that would have helped Rin. So, when we smelled Kimiko's blood, I decided to guide you in the right direction. You are welcome, by the way.'
'Your influence was not wanted.'
'No. However, it was needed. Besides, you cannot be entirely mad at me that she is here. You were the one to make the conscious decision to save her. Deny it if you wish, but we care for her.'
'Had I let her die, Rin would never have returned to normal.'
'If that is what you wish to believe. In any case, she left her pack and followed us. There is no way Rin would separate from her again. You know what needs to be done.'
'Hn.'
Leaves crunched under small feet as they made their way to Sesshomaru. The sound caused him to open his eyes and stare at his young ward. He could not help but notice that she did lose weight. Something was going to have to be done about that.
"Lord Sesshomaru," she whispered.
"Yes?" He watched as she stared at her feet playing with her fingers.
Rin stood there in silence for a moment, debating on how to go about the subject. She had not talked to him in quite some time. A part of her was worried he was still mad like he was when he snapped at her.
"Look at me, Rin." As her chestnut brown eyes met his amber eyes, he sighed. "This one should not have lashed out at you... I ... apologize." Sesshomaru thought he needed to say more. He decided against doing so when Rin threw her arms around him. She buried her head into his chest and cried. Not sure what to do, he placed his hand on her back.
It surprised her that her lord apologized. She thought that she had done something wrong and that it was her who needed to do so. When she had approached him, she planned to apologize as well as thank him. Rin continued to cry, but not because she was sad. It was tears of relief and happiness. Her mother was back and she was on good terms with Sesshomaru again.
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After they ate, Kimiko told Rin stories of what happened while she was away. Including how Sesshomaru saved her more than once. When she was done, Rin took the chance to tell her mother how Sesshomaru rushed off to find her when the wind sorceress told them that Kimiko was dying. Kimiko had wondered what exactly Sesshomaru was told. She had figured it was just the location of Naraku or something of the sort. She never expected that he left to check on her well being.
Sesshomaru had tuned out the chatter between the two. He was focused on something more important. When he realized that they had finished talking, he decided it was time. Quickly, he stood up and made his way to Kimiko. Realizing that he wanted to speak with her, she rose and slightly blushed. For some reason, as she looked at him she got butterflies in her stomach.
"Kimiko, this one wants to-"
"Kimiko!"
Everyone's attention focused on Inuyasha as he emerged from the treeline. Followed behind him was the rest of his group. Sesshomaru growled and walked in front of both her and Rin. Jaken immediately began to fuss at Inuyasha for intruding.
"Why do you intrude, brother?"
Inuyasha glared at Sesshomaru. "Move out the way. Our business isn't with you."
"Sit boy!" As Inuyasha fell to the ground, Kagome walked up and sighed. "Please forgive us, we mean no trouble. The whole purpose of coming here was to apologize."
Kimiko walked to Sesshomaru's side with her arms crossed. "I'm listening."
Sango walked to her sister with a downcasted expression. "Kimi... I know you're upset..."
"No, you don't know. I am not upset. I'm furious and hurt! The ones I considered my friends and family didn't even want to help me!"
"Of course, I did," Sango shouted. "But, it's not like you were asking something easy! You wanted us to take you to Sesshomaru, someone who has actually tried to kill some of us! I'm sorry if that made me doubt that you would be safe!" She shook her head as tears fell. "Naraku took everything from me... I don't want to lose you too."
Kimiko quickly embraced her as she cried tears of her own. "I know it hurts. Trust me, I know. I miss them too." She pulled away and smiled sadly. "But, you need to trust me and the decisions I make for myself. No matter where I am or who I am with, I'll always be your sister and I'll always be there for you." Kimi stepped back and lightly grabbed Sesshomaru's left sleeve. She smiled briefly at him before focusing back on Sango. "You doubt him, but if it wasn't for him I would not be here. My dead body would still be floating down some river. He also protected me more than once on many separate occasions. Most of which was when I traveled with you guys."
"I know that... I am grateful for that, but the first vision you had since the attack on the village..."
"You of all people know that not all of them come true. Just because I see it doesn't mean it will absolutely happen. Hell, when I was a child I had a vision of me leaving my original village as an adult to find someone to spend my life with. My family and the other villagers were gathered at the entrance wishing me luck as I walked away." Kimi gently wiped away tears. It still caused her a bit of pain when she thought about her family. "Visions are just possible outcomes. Our actions can either make it come true or prevent them. I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in fear of something that may never come."
She knew her sister had valid points, yet, Sango could not help but worry. Perhaps it was because of fear. At one point in her life, she felt so safe. She had always felt that nothing bad would ever happen. Her family was slayers, after all. They were the fearless heroes who helped the weak and scared. It was evil that feared them, not the other way around. Now, she felt as if everyone around her would be taken from her one day.
"Slayer," Sesshomaru began, "you mourn for a great loss. That same loss has now placed a fear in you that you allow to cloud your mind. You fear that this one will take her life, yet this one has only helped her. If you fear the vision, then cast that aside as well. This one is prepared to defend her even if it means this one's death."
To say that everyone was shocked was an understatement. Most knew what his statement meant and none truly expected it. Inuyasha slightly wondered if he was imagining this whole situation or if he just heard incorrectly.
"W-Wait," Sango stuttered. "Are you saying..."
Sesshomaru sighed as he turned his gaze to Kimiko. When he had planned to say this, he didn't exactly think it would be in front of his brother's pack. Not that he cared what they thought. He just wanted to avoid any other unnecessary drama. Mainly from Inuyasha.
"Kimiko," he stated. "This one wants you to join his pack. Until there comes a time that this one obtains a mate, you will be the alpha female. You shall receive everything you could ever want or need. Should there ever be a danger, this one will protect you to the death. In return, you shall take on all responsibilities of being Rin's mother and tend to her needs in this one's absence."
A blush covered Kimiko's face as he said she would be alpha female. Normally, when given such a title, it was implied you were the alpha male's mate. An image of them as a couple ran through her mind and her heart skipped a beat. As she shook the thought from her head, she smiled and tilted her head to the side. She pulled her hair away to reveal her neck. She did not fully know everything about yokai customs, but she knew in a moment like this, submitting was a good sign. Doing so could either meant you recognized them as the stronger one or that you trust them. After he gave a nod, she returned her head to its normal position.
As she observed the two, Sango stayed silent. When they were finished, she focused on Sesshomaru. After a deep breath, she said, "Do you promise to protect her? And what if I wish to see her?"
"This one is bound by honor to do so. Should she want to visit, this one will leave her in your pack's care for a short time."
Deciding that it was the best answer she would get, Sango turned to Kimi. "I know I haven't been the best friend or sister..."
Kimiko hugged her once more. "I know what you're gonna say. Don't worry, I forgive you."
As Sango hugged her sister back, Inuyasha walked up to them. He awkwardly scratched his head. "Is there any way you could forgive me too?"
She pulled away from Sango and smiled at him. "Of course. Though I knew I would be okay, you guys didn't. I had wanted you all to just take my word for it and help me. I never really focused on how you guys felt on the matter. I focused on the fact that no one would help me to get back to Rin and didn't think about that you were all worried about my safety." Kimiko smiled at the others who walked up to her. "Don't worry. I forgive you guys too."
Rin cautiously approached them. Her tiny fingers unconsciously played with her kimono as she stared at Sango. "Does this mean you aren't going to try to take my mom," Rin asked. Her voice held uncertainty and fear.
As Sango examined the girl, she felt her heart break. Rin reminded her of herself at that age. She had the same expression and tone when she asked if her father if her mother would be okay. The pain of that moment rushed back to her and she cursed herself for not helping to reunite these two. She knelt down and smiled at Rin, "Of course not. When she left, we were not on good terms and we just wanted to make things right. Now that we have, we should probably get going soon."
As Rin's face brightened up, Kimiko smiled. As she glanced up at the sky, an idea struck. "You know," she began, "night is going to fall soon. All of you could just spend the night here." She paused for a moment and turned to Sesshomaru. "If that is alright with you of course."
"If that is what you want."
Almost everyone was happy about that idea. Jaken wasn't thrilled as well as Inuyasha. Sesshomaru internally sighed and strode back to the tree where he had originally sat. He began to wonder if he was going to regret bringing her into his pack and if things like this would happen often.
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In a dark room, wicked cackling filled the air. He had watched as the oni he sent nearly killed Inuyasha's group. When he saw Sesshomaru arrive, he knew his bait had worked. It surprised him when the Lord of the West saved the woman and took the blow instead. However, it also pleased him. Naraku now had a way to defeat Sesshomaru.
When the slayer and the woman began to argue, he half-heartedly watched as he began to lose interest. It was the talk of visions that made him fully pay attention again. As they started a path of forgiveness, something that made him want to vomit, he pulled away from the mirror and sent Kanna away. He had much to think about and to plan. Perhaps he wouldn't kill the woman as quickly as he had planned too.
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I hope you enjoyed!
Leave a review and let me know what you think!
Feel like the whole argument thing needed some work.
Other versions had Sesshomaru finding her in a river as she fished (he snuck up on her and scared causing her to fall in), him going back home and a servant convincing him to do what was best for Rin, and Inuyasha going confront Sesshomaru about being close by.
There were lots of others too. Some short, some long. Some of them just seemed everyone was out of character so I decided against them.
Then there were also some where it made them seem that they got together way to fast.