Varian took in a shaky breath of relief. While it hurt to see Corona encased in the same black rocks that once encased his village, and while the whole situation brought back some awful memories, he was just happy that Rapunzel was okay.
Overall, Varian was just really happy to see that everyone were somewhat okay, even though no one had really gotten out unharmed. He knew the gun going off was a mistake, yet he couldn't help but feel a painful sting in his chest whenever he looked at another bruise, another heartbroken face. People had lost their kingdom, their home. And somewhat, he was responsible for that. He couldn't look anyone in the eyes. Especially not Rapunzel.
So, when she wanted to talk with him in private, he couldn't help, but just want to run away, never to come back again. He wasn't one to do so though.
While he hated confrontations, and the guilt he was already feeling was dragging him down, he honestly felt like he deserved whatever she had to say to him. After the chaos he just caused, it couldn't be anything good, that was for sure.
"Varian," He could feel her eyes on him, knew that her pause meant that she was waiting for him to either respond, maybe for him to apologise? For him to promise to leave and never come back? Go back to prison?? Or maybe she was waiting for him to look back at her... he honestly had no idea, but his mind was running wild at this point. Realising that she wouldn't get any response from him, Rapunzel continued. "you doing okay?"
He certainly wasn't expecting that. Was it a more humane way to do it? Make sure he wasn't hurt before... before whatever was to come? He stared at his boots, trying to keep his breathing on track. "I'm- I'm fi-ne." Oh, great. Wonderful voice crack right there. Real convincing. Totally didn't sound like he was about to cry.
Rapunzel placed her hands on his shoulders, giving them a light squeeze. "Wanna talk about it?" Talk about it? Talk about it?? He's partly responsible for Corona's fall, and she asks if he wants to talk about it. That's like asking someone who hurt a lot of people, how they feel, but... you did hurt a lot of people he reminded himself. Really, none of this would've happened if it wasn't for him. It was all his fault. He didn't deserve to get to talk about it, he shouldn't get to talk about it.
He wanted to tell her all this. He wanted to yell at her, make her understand how horrible he was. Make her see that he only ruined everything and hurt everyone. Constant. Always. But all he did was shake his head.
"Varian-" he pushed her hands of his shoulders, a little bit too violent for what he meant to do, but he just ignored the expression of hurt and concern on her face. Maybe he just... didn't know how to be good. Maybe he wasn't meant to be good.