I just want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me and this story. Thank you to those that have reviewed, favorited, and followed!
This chapter is the longest I have done yet. Sadly, it is not by much. Chapter 8 had exactly 5,670 words and this chapter has 5,685. Not a big difference but I am hoping to start making even longer ones. Unless you rather them this length or shorter.
On another note, I am thinking of a book cover to add. I would do a drawing myself but I am not crazy about my art. If you have any ideas, let me know. I might end up leaving it blank or just throw Sesshomaru up there.
In any case, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think in a review!
.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"Too fast!"
The woman's high-pitched voice was beginning to give Kimiko a headache. For the past few days, Kimiko was given the task of learning proper etiquette as well as learning about nobles and the leaders of other lands. As well as training in combat. The subject she now struggled with was walking correctly. Never had she had to focus so hard on how to walk. Back perfectly straight, hands in correct position, chin up, and slow steps. The task sounded so much easier than what it actually was.
She slowed down her pace as she walked, trying her best to do so gracefully. One foot in front of the other as she tried her best to ignore the weight of the countless layers of kimono she currently wore. Now that she was Sesshomaru's alpha female, there would be many times she would have to be by Sesshomaru's side when he addressed the court. A perfect example was the upcoming week. Sesshomaru was to present her to the court and state his intentions with her. It was less about tradition and more so about killing any rumors that would spread about taking a human for a mate. Something about that didn't sit right with her.
"Enough," the woman exclaimed as she covered her face with her hand. Using one of her tails, she pushed some of her long snow-white hair behind her back. The other eight tails stood out against her black and pink ombre kimono with floral patterns. Eyes the color of cinnamon rested on Kimiko. "We've been at this for hours and you still have yet to fully master the proper way to walk."
"You try walking while wearing twenty layers of kimonos," Kimiko retorted.
The woman smiled happily but her face had a sinister look to it. "It seems that my lady has not learned how to speak properly as well. We shall have to start even earlier tomorrow morning."
Just as Kimiko went to argue, she bit her tongue. She was sure that if she replied at all that even more hours of this torture would be added on. One lesson from the slayers had always stuck with her. Do NOT mess with a kitsune, especially if it has more than three tails. The kitsune in front of her happened to have nine.
Thankful for being dismissed, Kimiko quickly set out on a quest to her room. More than anything, she felt the need to rest in her bed. As soon as she had made it into her room, Maemi began to strip her of the layers. As the weight slowly lightened, she had realized just how much her back and feet truly hurt. It did not pair well with the constant pain in her abdomen.
After she was casually dressed once more, Maemi left to make preparations for Kimi to bathe. It was not long after that, that the bedroom door was frantically opened, revealing a distressed Rin. Within seconds, the small girl closed the distance between her and her mother and threw her arms around her sobbing.
All pain was ignored as she knelt down and pulled her daughter into her lap. Kimiko gently rocked back and forth as she ran her fingers through Rin's hair. Softly she hummed the same tune she once sang to Rin. It wasn't until Rin calmed down did she asked what was wrong.
Rin slowly wiped tears from her eyes as she looked at her mother. "I want to go home," she muttered as fought the need to cry again.
Kimiko tilted her head as she looked quizzically at Rin. Home? Before Sesshomaru found her, Rin was an orphan. Since then, Rin had never stayed in one spot long enough to call it home. Did she mean she missed her deceased family? "Rin, what exactly do you mean by 'home'?"
Her daughter stood up and walked to the balcony doors. She opened them and pointed to the open land in the distance. "Out there." She turned back to Kimiko and gazed at her sadly. "We didn't stay in one spot, but we were happy... Rin was happy. Since we came here, its all about lessons. Rin rarely sees you, Ah-Un, and Jaken. Rin has never seen Sesshomaru-sama since he brought us here. Rin just wants to be a family again."
Knots twisted inside of Kimiko's chest as she watched Rin. It felt as though her heart physically hurt. Part of her felt guilty for not making more of an effort to check on her. Another part of her felt as though she was failing badly at being Rin's mother. Wouldn't a true mother have noticed their child's unhappiness sooner? Then, there was the fact that part of her felt outraged. She had questioned Sesshomaru's absence frequently. No matter who she had asked, the answer was the same. 'I'm sorry, Kimiko-sama. He is busy with important affairs at the moment.'
It was one thing that she was put off to the side by him. She may have been his alpha female, but only for the sake of Rin. He had promised Kimiko safety and for all her desires to be fulfilled. None of that stated he had to be by her side regularly. However, tossing Rin to the side was a different matter. She herself may have not seen 'all high and mighty' recently, but she figured he would at least visit Rin. After all, whether he accepted it or not, he was her father figure.
"I'm sorry, Rin. I should have noticed that you were unhappy sooner." She smiled sadly as she went to Rin. Kimi knelt down and quickly kissed her daughter's forehead. "I'm going to fix this, I promise." Filled with determination and anger, she stood up and walked out of her room.
There was a change to Kimiko's senses, though she was to blinded by emotions to even notice. As she strode through the hallways, she couldn't see anyone, yet she could see everyone. They were not physically near her, yet in her mind's eye, she knew where everyone was and every movement they made. Had she been calmer, perhaps she would have been concerned or even intrigued by this. However, she was not calm. Her anger for Sesshomaru caused her to focus solely on him, on his essence that she could mentally see. When she finally found him in her mind's eye, her anger soared. He was on the other side of the castle enjoying the company of a female.
By the time she had reached the guest room they were currently in, it had felt like very little time had passed. She grabbed the sliding door and slid it open with such force that it nearly snapped. She gritted her teeth by the sight she was welcomed with. It was one thing to have mentally seen their essences together, it was another to see them in person as they laid on a cot together wrapped in silk sheets.
It only took the female yokai he was with a few seconds before she decided it was time to get the hell out of there. Gathering what clothing she could, she used it to cover herself as she ran out of the room. Barely giving her enough time to even leave, Kimiko slammed the sliding door shut.
Her chest rose and fell quickly as she breathed heavily. The noise of her exhaling through her nose filled the silence in the room. Furious lavender eyes glowed as they met red that was equally as angry.
"Leave," he spat. "This one does not care for those that act out of their place."
As angry as she was, Kimiko couldn't help but laugh. "I'm out of place? Take a look in a mirror, Sesshomaru. I haven't seen you in days and was told that you were too busy with 'important matters'. I guess acting like a dog in heat is imp-"
In a blink of an eye, his hand was around her throat as he held her up against a wall. He snarled, "Watch what you say, woman." He paused as he studied her eyes. As he inhaled her scent, the red in his eyes deepened. After a moment, he released his hold on her and walked to his pile of clothes and began to dress. "You may be this one's alpha female, but you are nothing more than a caretaker for Rin. This one has no responsibility to be near you at all times."
Kimiko rubbed her throat as she stalked towards him. "I don't care what responsibility you do or do not have for me. You have a responsibility to Rin. As an alpha, it is your job to see to her happiness and needs!"
Shirtless, he turned to her. "This one has done his part. She was saddened by not having you around and now she does. As for needs she is fed, clothed, and has shelter."
"She isn't some pet that you can just tell servants to take care of! Rin is a child! She needs love and attention!"
"Then, this one trusts that you can fulfill that duty. This one has no time for such nonsense."
She crossed her arms as she glared at him. If looks could kill, he'd have died a hundred times over. "You are an incompetent fool! If you really feel that way towards her, then why are you even bothering with us?!" As soon as she uttered those words, an idea popped into her head. The two brothers might not be able to stand each other, but they did have a lot in common. She turned around and took a step to the door, "I'm taking Rin to go join Inuyasha's pack and help them find Naraku. Maybe I'll run into that wolf yokai, Koga, again. If I accept his offer to be his woman, then perhaps Rin will finally have what she needs."
The distance between them closed in milliseconds. His hand shot out and tightly grabbed her wrist. He growled, "You will do no such thing!" The idea that Inuyasha would be able to protect both of them was absurd. The thought of her mating a wolf was even more so ridiculous. As stupid as he believed it to be, the more he thought about, the angrier he got.
Turning around, she gazed at him. "The fact that you are angry shows you do care." She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. The male in front of her was so difficult and stubborn that she was sure he would just ignore what she would say. "You say you only accepted me into your pack to be a caretaker for Rin. That may hold some truth but it isn't all of it. If you really wanted to throw her to the side, you wouldn't have found me to help her. You would have let her continue the way she was until she eventually died. Caring is not a weakness, Sesshomaru. It is a strength." She placed a hand on his shoulder, "However, if you keep ignoring the ones you care about, you will lose them and feel that pain you keep trying to avoid."
As she spoke those words she felt a sudden pain inside her head. Her eyes shut as she clutched her head with both hands. Sesshomaru placed his hand on her shoulder as he repeatedly called out her name. Each time he said it with more worry than the last. She could hear him but the pain was crippling. It continued to get worse until... it just stopped. Confused, Kimiko pulled her hands away and opened her eyes. They were no longer in the room they were once in. Now they stood in Rin's room.
Sesshomaru surveyed his surroundings for the reason of the sudden change. The attempt to spread out his senses failed. He could only sense himself and Kimiko. Determined to get answers, he walked to the door and tried to open it. Each time he tried to touch it, his hand went through. "What sorcery is this," he growled.
"I-I think," Kimiko stuttered. There were only certain times she saw something like that happen. Yet, it was different. She never had someone with her before. "I think we are in a vision."
Before he could answer, the door opened. Jaken and Rin entered the room, walking straight through Sesshomaru as though he was an invisible ghost. In a way, he was. Kimiko wanted to laugh at the shock and amazement on his face, but she didn't. She was focused on Rin. The girl was wearing the exact same outfit from when they were in Kimiko's room.
"Rin wants to see Momma," Rin exclaimed at Jaken. It was a tone of demanding that Kimiko had never heard from Rin. For Sesshomaru, it reminded him of when he had first left the woman with his brother's group. How she would cry and demand to see her mother.
Jaken huffed, "I told you, insolent child! She is in lessons! Now, in an hour, a tutor will come in here to instruct you the proper-"
Rin steadily shook her head as she stomped her foot. "Lessons! Lessons! Lessons! Rin is tired of lessons! Rin wants to see Momma and Sesshomaru-sama!"
"I already told you about your mother. As for Sesshomaru-sama, he is extremely busy with very important matters! He does not have time to deal with you!"
As his words sunk in, Rin fell to her knees downcasted. She fought back tears that were threatening to spill. Her lord, the man she viewed as a father, didn't want to deal with her. She hated this place. She just wanted things to go back to how they were.
"Rin," Jaken sighed as he approached her and placed a hand on top her head, "I'll let him know you wish to see him. That is all I can really do." He turned around and proceeded to leave the room.
Not long after the door had closed did Rin allow herself to cry. And cry she did. It was something of the likes which neither of them had ever seen. It was enough to break a heart and even make Naraku feel uneasy. Kimiko knelt next to Rin and placed a hand on her shoulder, only to have it go through. She knew she couldn't touch Rin, but she wanted to make her tears go away. Soon, she began to cry tears herself as she watched the daughter she could not soothe. In a way, this vision was a form of torture.
He hated the sight before him. It showed him how truly imperfect he was. He had distanced himself to avoid acting in any more undesirable ways. Especially, since the woman's scent practically screamed out about her fertility. No matter how far away he was in the castle, he could still smell it. Smell her. As days progressed, he felt he was at his wit's end. He was repulsed by how he felt an attraction to her that he felt for no one else. Attraction. It was the only way he could explain why he felt the need to go to her during this time. Though, he wondered if it was more than that. When he chose to bed the female yokai, he did so to try to satisfy whatever desire he had. Doing so only made him feel empty. When Kimiko barged in, he was angry but more so at himself. He allowed her to see him in such a state.
In an attempt of trying to deal with his unwanted desires, he had neglected Rin. Something he didn't truly understand the effects of until now. As she cried in this echo of time, a pain in his chest radiated throughout his entire being. There was no punishment worse than knowing he was the one to have caused it. No matter what it took, he would fix the harm he had inadvertently caused.
"I want to be a family again," Rin cried as the vision began to fade away.
When all had returned to normal, they found themselves back in the guest room. As Sesshomaru went to speak, he watched as blood dripped from her nose. A second later, she collapsed.
With inhuman speed, he caught her and held her to his chest. "Kimiko," he called out as he shook her. When she failed to come to, he stood up cradling her in his arm and darted towards the castle's healer. As questions and worries formed in his mind, he quickly tossed them out. For now, he was focused on her well being. All else could wait.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"Sesshomaru-sama, you should eat-" A glare from golden eyes silenced Jaken. With a sigh, the green imp quickly took his leave.
It had been a week since Kimiko collapsed. Besides exhaustion from being pushed to her limits, the healer could not find any illness as the cause for her unconscious state. When he was told nothing could be done, Sesshomaru made arrangement for Kimiko to stay in his room until she awoke. Since then, he had never left her side. It was something his beast felt needed to be done and frankly, Sesshomaru felt the same. He felt as though he was at fault for her current state.
Within that week, Sesshomaru sat by her side as he continued his duties as Lord of the West. He wrote letters on a small table that servants had brought for him. The letters told of how a more important matter had come up and that it needed to be tended to more than a waste of time tradition. He then gave the letters to Jaken to send out to those that were to attend. In the time he was not dealing with matters of the West, Sesshomaru tutored Rin. At first, she was too worried about her mother to concentrate on learning. So he told her to grab a book and he would help her to read stories to her mother.
Since then, every day, Rin would grab a book from his study and she would bring it to him. They sat side by side as she held the book, a finger sliding down each kanji. The first few books she just repeated every word Sesshomaru said. After a while, she started to recognize the ones that appeared frequently. Though she still needed his help, she started to need it less often. Together they read books on history, war tactics, and legends.
For the moment, he sat in his room alone with Kimiko. He was done with his duties for the day and Rin was attending a lesson on survival skills. She had him promise that they would not always be at the castle. So he arranged for lessons on how to survive on her own in case something ever happened. Not that he would allow such, however, it was best to be safe.
He stared at Kimiko and his mind began to wander. The day that she had barged in on him, her lavender eyes were glowing. At first, he thought it was a trick of the light. It wasn't until he had her against the wall did he notice it wasn't. At the time, he was to blinded by his emotions to even care about the phenomenon in front of him. Now, he wondered if it had something to do with allowing him to see the vision as well.
If you keep ignoring the ones you care about, you will lose them and feel that pain you keep trying to avoid.
Her words echoed in his mind as he closed his eyes with a sigh. Had he went about things differently, perhaps everything would have been better. For the longest, Sesshomaru felt that he was better than his father. He was beginning to wonder if that was ever true.
A hand grabbed his hand and his eyes flew open. He glanced at the hand before glancing at the face of the person it belonged to. Tired lavenders regarded him as she used her other hand to wipe an eye. "I never saw you sad before," Kimiko said softly. "I don't like it." She slowly attempted to sit up.
As he helped her up, he stared at her quizzically. "I am not sad. My face is the same-"
"Your eyes," she interrupted. "You wipe emotion away from your face, but I've learned to look at your eyes. Right now, they hold a sadness."
"Hn." At the moment, he was slightly shocked. Although, he was not concerned about it. His mind was more so focused on her. "How are you feeling?"
"My head hurts a bit, though, I think its because I am hungry," she yawned. Her arms went up in the air as she stretched. "How long was I asleep?"
"A week."
"Oh, just a wee- A WEEK?!" Her eyes scanned his face in hopes of finding some hint that he was joking. He wasn't. "What the hell happened?! I remember being in the vision together, but other than that..."
Sesshomaru alerted a servant with a spike in his youki. After instructing the yokai to get food, he examined Kimiko. "You collapsed and remained unconscious. I think it is because of the fact I was with you in the vision. Had that ever happened before?" When she shook her head, he asked another question. "Are you aware that your eyes were glowing that day?"
Her eyes widened. Glowed? "T-They did? I never heard of such a thing." It was true. She never heard that her eyes had glowed before. Nor had she heard of such a thing happening to her ancestors. She didn't even know that is was possible to share a vision with someone else. Although, she didn't understand how it happened in the first place.
Silence filled the air between them he focused on his thoughts. After a moment, he spoke, "We will investigate this matter at a later date. For now, let us focus on your health."
"Sesshomaru-sama!" Jaken ran into the room in a panic. "We have a dilemma!"
"What," he growled. For once, he just wanted to settle one matter without a new one arising.
"The Lord and Lady of the South have arrived," he gulped. "They received your letters stating that the presentation of your alpha female was postponed. But, they chose to still come and await the day here."
As Sesshomaru growled, Kimiko sighed. "So much for focusing on my health."
Just as Kimiko was about to attempt to stand, Sesshomaru spoke, "Stay here. I will deal with this matter."
The moment he left the room, Kimiko quickly stood up. She wobbled for a moment but managed to keep herself steady. Jaken immediately began to fuss over the fact that she was ignoring Sesshomaru's orders, but she paid him no attention. Instead, she went to the door that connected his room to hers. As she slid the door open, she paused. It was only now that she realized that she had been in Sesshomaru's bedroom and had slept on his bed. It made her wonder where did he sleep. Images of him sleeping beside her, as well as, memories of him undressed popped into her mind and her face turned red as her ears felt hot. Without hesitation, she attempted to clear her mind. She needed to focus on the matter at hand. The Lord and Lady of the South were in the castle. From what she learned from her lessons, Sesshomaru was to greet them with her by his side. Together, they were supposed to show the strength of the West. If she was not there or even acted out of line in front of them or any other nobles or leaders of different lands, the West would appear weak.
She went to her wardrobe and rummaged through the different kimonos. She settled upon a seafoam blue kimono with a koi pattern along the bottom. Grabbing a silver obi, she quickly dressed. When she was finished, she examined herself. Every movement in the high-quality silk caused ripples in the fabric that made it seem as though she was actually wearing a kimono of water. It seemed fitting considering the type of yokai the Lord and Lady of the South were. Swiftly, she brushed her hair and applied a little color to her lips. Kimiko dared not to attempt to apply makeup around her eyes. There was no time to work with it slowly or to even fix any mistakes.
After she left her room, she made her way towards the front of the castle. The closer she got, the more her anxiety began to build up inside. She wasn't worried about interacting with the visitors. After all, no matter their title, they were still just yokai. It would be the same if you met a human noble. Take away the title and you two were the same. Kimiko was more worried about how Sesshomaru would react to the fact that she disregarded an order. She didn't care what he actually thought of her, but that didn't mean she wanted her life to be any harder than what it currently was.
"So when do we get to see the new addition to your pack," a male voice asked. "We assumed we would have seen her with you when you'd come to greet us."
Sesshomaru spoke, "She-"
"Is right here," Kimiko interrupted as she rounded a corner. She went to Sesshomaru's side and bowed to the man and his mate. "I apologize for my tardiness. I was tending to some matters. It is nice to meet you. My name is Kimiko." She stood straight and examined the couple. The Lady of the South, Youko, had dark hair and pale skin. Her eyes were orange, matching the white and orange spotted kimono she wore. She looked like a beautiful human version of a koi. It was fitting considering she was a Ningyo. Kaito, the Lord of the South, on the other hand, was a Mizuchi. He wore gray hakama, a white montsuki kimono, and a black monstuki haori jacket. He looked similar to his mate, except his eyes were a bright blue. Kimiko was grateful to had learned about them in a lesson before she had been unconscious for a week. For a moment, she glanced at Sesshomaru and could see the displacement in his eyes.
Amusement danced in their eyes as they surveyed Kimiko. When they heard the news that Sesshomaru had an alpha-female, they knew she was human. However, they heard no word on how she was an oddity.
"Nice to meet you, Kimiko-san. I am Kaito and this is my mate, Youko." Kaito took a step closer and stared into Kimiko's eyes. "Your eyes are such an... unusual color for a human."
"You had a long journey, you must be tired," Sesshomaru interrupted. "The ceremony has been postponed temporarily. You may stay in a guest room until then." He signaled a maid to come to them and ordered her to take their guests to their room.
"You are too kind, Sesshomaru-sama," Kaito smirked as he followed the maid.
Youko stayed behind for a moment and focused her attention on Sesshomaru. "I understand her position in your pack, but is there more? Possible courting?"
Lavender eyes widened in shock and Sesshomaru quickly responded, "This one has no plans for anything of the sort."
Her orange eyes lit up as a smile spread across her face. "Oh, I see. Well, it just so happens that my youngest daughter is on her way here as well. Perhaps, you will find her to your taste. She has grown a lot in the past centuries that you last saw her."
"Hn."
Youko bowed before following after her husband. Kimiko watched as she became lost in her thoughts. Centuries. It made her wonder just how old Sesshomaru truly was. For him, the time he spent with her and Rin and their time together in the future would be like a blink of an eye. Such a thought made her feel sorry for him. His reasoning for barriers made more sense to her now that she thought more on it. Like a double-edged sword, however, such a precaution makes you miss out on a lot of things in life.
"Follow."
His voice broke her out of her thoughts and she walked quickly to catch up to him. He led her to her room and walked in. As she followed him inside and closed the door, her anxiety spiked. The glare he gave her sent shivers down her spine.
"I told you to stay where you were," he snarled. "We do not fully understand what happened, what you are truly capable of, and the effects that it had on your body! It does not help that you are showing yourself off to every outsider!"
Kimiko raised an eyebrow. "What is this truly about? The fact I didn't do what you wanted or the fact that he pointed out my eyes? Surely, you knew that it was going to raise questions. Or were you so used to them that you forgot?" The emotion that flashed in his eyes answered her question. He forgot. She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, "Tell them the truth. My family had distant yokai ancestry. No need to go into detail. I had figured that was the story we were going to go with anyway."
Moments passed before he spoke and broke the silence between them. "That is all we can do for now. If anyone tries to pull more information out of you, excuse yourself and come to me."
"I'm sorry."
Sesshomaru stared at her in confusion. Noticing this, she elaborated, "When I agreed to become part of your pack, I didn't think it would be so much trouble for you. I was just so concerned about Rin that I didn't try to find another way. Now, not only do you have to protect me from Naraku, but possibly also from members of your own court and yokai from different lands." Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the floor. It seemed as time went on, she was just more and more useless.
"You are a fool."
Her eyes widened and she looked up at him. His golden eyes met hers and he walked forward. "I knew of your ancestry and what you could do. I knew what accepting you into my pack meant and would require." He raised his hand a pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I," he struggled to utter the words, "am the one who needs to... apologize. I have not acted like an alpha."
For a moment, Kimiko thought she was dreaming. The all mighty and terrible Sesshomaru was apologizing. Well, in his own way. A part of her mentally laughed as she imagined Inuyasha's reaction if she told him. No, this was something to keep between the two of them.
"Momma!" Rin ran into the room and hugged her. The hug was more like a tackle and Kimiko almost fell over. Luckily, Sesshomaru used his hand to keep her from hitting the ground. "Jaken said you woke up," she exclaimed. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I am feeling fine," Kimiko smiled as she hugged back.
Rin pulled away with a grin that could light up the night sky. "Can we play in the garden?! Please, can we?!"
"Rin," Sesshomaru began.
Kimiko replied, "Yes."
The two stared at each other. Sesshomaru had a disapproving look as Kimiko gave what Kagome called a puppy dog face. It was something the miko claimed to work on almost anyone if done right. Sometimes she used it on Inuyasha in order to go back to the well.
"Fine. On the condition that you eat and do not strain yourself. I will accompany you to ensure you do so."
Rin excitedly ran out of the room as she headed towards the garden. Kimiko smiled at Sesshomaru and thanked him. As she headed towards the door, she whispered, "By the way, I prefer it when you don't speak in the third person. It feels easier to talk to you." With that, she disappeared from his sight.
Sesshomaru stood there as he processed her words. Once more he had stopped using "this one" without realizing it. It was beyond his understanding of how she was truly able to make him act in unusual ways. Though it was irritating, she was also able to show him when he was actually making a mistake. Having her around seemed to have equal pros and cons.
He closed the door behind him as he walked out into the hallway. As he followed the path they had taken, he stopped at a painting of his father. Golden eyes met those that were painted and he wondered what his father would think of him now. Was he truly worthy to be the Lord of the West? His recent behavior made him wonder. Sesshomaru continued on his way and notified a servant to bring Kimiko's food to the garden.
Laughter met his ears as he entered the garden. Kimiko chased Rin around a tree. Each time she almost grabbed her, the child would dart in a completely different direction. As he watched the two play, the empty feeling he had was now gone. Contentment now filled its place. At that moment, he heard his father's voice echo in his head.
Tell me, Sesshomaru have you someone to protect.
"Yes."