Farming was hard work, but honest, and Applejack liked watching her brother doing it. She didn't like to think too much about that. She put her nose to the grindstone and just worked harder. That day Rainbow Dash showed up wearing a sport's bra and shorts. Applejack liked seeing her in that, and that was another thing she didn't like to think too much about.
"Heya AJ, want to hang out?" Rainbow said.
"Can't. Working." Applejack said.
"Aw come on AJ. You're always working. Can't you give it a rest just this once." Rainbow said, looking at her with a pout. Applejack was trying to avoid looking at her entirely.
"My family needs me. It's harvest time." Applejack said.
"I'm sure your family can let you rest for one afternoon. I want to hang out with you AJ. We never hang out anymore." Rainbow said, and her hand made it's way to Applejack's shoulder. She didn't mind it there. She didn't mind it at all. That's what bothered her so much.
"...If I hang out with ya, will ya leave me alone?" Applejack asked.
"Course AJ. At least for a couple of days. Let's get outta here." Rainbow said. She smacked AJ on the butt before heading off with a confident swagger. Applejack blushed. She hated when she did that. No, not hate. More like loved it, and it was that emotion that made her feel dirty. Not in truth anything that Rainbow did. And yet she blamed Rainbow anyway.
The two went on a jog, mostly in silence and then stopped by a dinner to get some lunch.
"AJ, I feel like you've been avoiding me a lot lately, and you haven't even been fucking talking to me really. What's up?" Rainbow said. She was good-natured about it, but it was clear that she was hurt. I have been avoiding you, Applejack thought, and you should damn well know why.
"It's nothing." AJ said. Looking down at her menu like it was some sort of shield.
"It has to be something AJ. I don't want us to drift apart again. Cmon, I'm loyalty or something right? You can tell me anything." Rainbow said. Applejack felt her grip tighten on the menu.
"I need you to trust me AJ." Rainbow said.
"Hello, how may I serve you today?" The waitress said. She had just arrived and her sudden question practically made Applejack jump out of her skin.
"Anyway you want, cutie." Rainbow said, giving her a wink. Applejack wanted to shrink, to disappear completely. The waitress giggled.
"Oh Rainbow, you know I'm seeing someone." The waitress said.
"Pft. Yeah. When you ditch the boyfriend of the week, hit me up." Rainbow said.
"Uh huh. Maybe I'll have to one of these days." The waitress said with a wink.
"So what do you want?" The waitress asked.
"Just give me a burger and fries. AJ?" Rainbow asked.
"Huh?" Applejack said. She had been trying her best not to pay attention to. Trying very hard not to imagine Rainbow and this waitress whose name she didn't know in an embrace. Of that embrace going further. Of Rainbow and this woman naked and fucking.
"What do you want for lunch?" Rainbow said
"Er. I guess I'll have a burger and fries." Applejack said. She didn't know where to look. She couldn't look at Rainbow Dash's face nor the waitresses. And looking anywhere else might tempt her to set her eyes on the waitresses perky breasts. So she just looked at her menu.
"Ok. I'll get that for you right away." The waitress said and walked away. Applejack noticed that Rainbow Dash was watching as she walked away, no doubt staring at her ass as she walked away. Applejack pretended not to notice.
"Damn she's fine. And she definitely wants me too..." Rainbow said, under her breath. Applejack almost resented her for her easy confidence. Applejack was supposed to be the element of honesty but she couldn't be honest with herself. Couldn't bring herself to accept her desires.
"AJ, you were being weird again. What's your problem?" Rainbow said. Nothing about it sounded mean spirited but Applejack hated her for asking it anyway.
"You were flirting with that poor girl." Applejack said. She couldn't keep the words in anymore. She'd never been too good at lying. In fact she was awful.
"Poor girl? Did you see her, she was flirting with me back." Rainbow said.
"A waitress is paid to flirt with customers and be accomadatin', she didn't have much of a choice." Applejack said.
"If you knew anything about me, you'd know that girl's name is Lacy Skirts and she's in the LGBT+ Alliance. We flirt like that all the fucking time. I knew her from that first before she even worked here." Rainbow said.
"...Well I don't know any of that LGT whatever." Applejack muttered. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at her.
"This isn't about me flirting with a waitress. This is about me flirting with a woman." Rainbow said.
"N-No." Applejack said.
"You're a terrible liar. You just can't stand that I'm a lesbian." Rainbow said.
"I-I don't have any problem with you being a le-lesbian. I just don't get why you flaunt it around is all." Applejack said, her voice fading into a mutter as she spoke.
"What the fuck? Seriously AJ? Straight people get to go around talking about thier crushes and flaunting their boyfriends or girlfriends and that's fine but an LGB person has to shut up and hide who they are?" Rainbow said. She was fuming.
"I-I'm sorry. It just...it makes me uncomfortable." Applejack said. She felt horrible. She felt sick.
"Well, I'm fucking sorry that my goddessdamn sexuality makes you so uncomfortable. But guess what AJ? A lot of people around here are LGBT. A lot of people going to the same school as you. A lot of people you know. Our friends AJ." Rainbow said.
"...I know. But please... you're causing a scene." Applejack said.
"Causing a scene? Oh yeah, that's me. Rainbow Dash, the loud, aggressive lesbian always running around causing a scene. I can't believe you feel this way Applejack. That you've made me feel this way." Rainbow said. Near the end, her anger seemed to transfer a bit to hurt.
This wasn't what Applejack wanted. This was the last thing Applejack wanted. That's why she had bit her tongue and pushed her feelings, contradictory and confused, deep down inside her. She was aroused by women and disgusted by her arousal and ashamed by her disgust. She admired Rainbow and resented her. She was ashamed of all of this and the confusion and anxiety that had wrecked her. She was supposed to be everyone's rock and she had failed.
She hurt Rainbow Dash, and that made her guilt all the stronger. It was a dreadful sinking feeling. The room felt like it was spinning and she felt trapped. Trapped by her mind and her feelings and this situation.
"I...I better go." Applejack said.
"You'd better." Rainbow said. Her voice was quite now. She was calm and angry. That was not a good sign.
Applejack retreated home in a haze. She went to her room and she cried all night.
In the morning, she called into school sick.