"What a beautiful morning," Evie spoke, halfway to herself as everyone else started to slowly make their way down the ladder.
Evie was currently standing outside, wearing much more casual clothes but still keeping her fancy hat, as she gazed upon the slightly foggy air in the distance. The rays of the morning sun were caressing the horizon as she leaned against the barn doorway.
Evie simply took a deep breath, enjoying it all as the crisp breeze hit her face pleasantly.
However, she quickly was disturbed from her happy revelations when she heard a loud, offensive honk just next to her. Evie flinched, but looked at the goose standing next to her with a calculated expression.
"Hello, Elmer," Evie conjured up her most elegant and slightly distasteful tone as she addressed the animal.
"I just wanted to formally inform you that you are not biting me today," Evie told him, straightening as she stood firmly. The goose just tilted his head, looking at her strangely, but waddled away. Evie grinned victoriously as the other girls emerged from the barn.
"You are not talking to that goose again, are you?" Mal questioned, mid-yawn as she bumped into Evie just barely. Evie nodded, but caught herself quickly before she could look like a complete moron.
"No. I'm just setting forth the conditions of coexisting," Evie explained herself nonchalantly, and Mal shrugged, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
Between Uma terrorizing and Evie reacting, Mal hadn't got nearly enough sleep. And Mal liked sleep as almost as much as Evie liked to get her beauty rest.
They headed for the house, and before they had made it too far, a happy white bundle of fluffiness was romping over to them as fast as its pudgy legs could carry it. Uma's eyes caught the movement, and her face illuminated in an enormous grin as she bent down.
"Hey, squirt! Come here!" Uma called sweetly, and the puppy slammed into her body, wiggling all over. Uma smiled at her lovingly, scratching her all over.
The other four stopped to look at the two for a moment, and Uma brought her gaze up to them hesitantly.
"Y'all go on in. I'll be there in a sec," Uma waved them away as she sat down on the grass, the puppy jumping on her and trying to lick her chin as best as it could. Uma just laughed wholeheartedly, enjoying the pup's affection.
Once they entered the house, before they could even be seated, Audrey was once again elected for egg-collecting duty. Audrey barely resisted the urge to groan, but she headed out anyway, a little less terrified than last time.
"That's a big butt rooster, but I can handle it," Audrey reassured herself, trying to keep perfectly confident about the aspect of having to go in with the chickens again.
"I'm smart, beautiful, and competent. I've got this," Audrey spoke, hesitantly rounding the edge of the shed as she headed for the fence attached.
"Now listen here, you-"
She reached the gate and to her immense surprise, all of the chickens were at the farthest side of the fence. Audrey looked at them with an eyebrow raised, but quickly a smile grew across her face.
"Huh. I'm tougher and scarier than I thought," Audrey acknowledged proudly, her chest puffing up with her self-assurance.
Audrey effortlessly slipped through the gate and stopped to look at the chickens once again. The rooster was pacing around, looking thoroughly distressed as he made all sorts of weird noises. Audrey raised her head up proudly, knowing that she had officially evoked a sense of respect amongst the fowl. She then proudly marched for the inside of the shed.
"Those stupid chickens ought to be afraid. After all, I am a big, bad, mean-"
Audrey froze as two beady eyes looked at her from the nest box directly in front of her. She stuttered and stammered, gaping at the creature in front of her.
It was a snake, all glistening and black, and it was quite possibly the scariest thing she had ever seen. It was worse than the chickens. In fact, she wished two chickens were in the nest box.
It was as if it had entranced her, and she had lost all ability to move. She was positively petrified, but she still couldn't make her limbs work with her mind's desperate pleas.
The snake stuck its tongue out, tasting the air as it stared her down.
It was then that Audrey screamed, unable to move but perfectly able to use her mouth. She let loose, closing her eyes as her whole face scrunched in the effort.
"What's going on?! AUDREY?!" Uma's voice suddenly sounded off right behind her along with several small barks.
Uma was suddenly inside the shed with her, and Audrey turned toward her in the midst of her panic, breathing fast and heavy. Audrey almost hugged the pirate captain in her pure fear of the snake in the nest box.
"What's wrong? Stop, look at me, okay?" Uma questioned, grabbing Audrey's shoulders firmly as she looked her in the eye. Somehow, Uma's intense stare managed to bring her back to Earth and ground her mind in a way that it hadn't been as soon as she had first spotted the serpent. Her eyes were filled with an uncharacteristic fear and nervousness as well as care that Audrey was most certainly unaccustomed to from the pirate.
"There's a snake, Uma, it's a snake," Audrey blubbered quickly, and Uma looked to the side in the direction of the nest boxes.
After a few moments, Uma started to chuckle, shaking her head as she resisted the urge to laugh fully.
"What are you laughing at?! It's probably about to attack!" Audrey screeched, and Uma finally laughed fully, greatly enjoying the entire situation.
"Look, it's gone. Your screaming must have scared it off," Uma grinned widely, and Audrey blinked in confusion, her face still quite pale.
"Wha- it was going to eat me, Uma!"
"What did your snake look like?" Uma questioned and Audrey easily started to explain.
"It was huge- like at least ten feet long! And it was really black!" Audrey hysterically cried, getting herself worked up all over again, and Uma snorted at her as she nearly laughed.
"It was a chicken snake. And they're harmless," Uma informed the princess swiftly. Audrey just stood there gaping at the nest boxes as she tried to get herself together. Her face was still white, and it suddenly occurred to Uma what she should do while she had the opportunity.
Uma smiled wickedly as she threw and arm around the princess's shoulders so that she was facing the doorway. Uma held up her phone and took a selfie of them before Audrey could protest, the nest box in the background.
"UMA!" Audrey screamed accusingly once it fully occurred to her what had happened, and Uma just laughed. Audrey huffed, reaching in the nest boxes and gathering the eggs hurriedly.
"You are a jerk! A jerk, I tell you!" Audrey screeched, and Uma cackled at her wholeheartedly.
"It isn't a big deal. The snake wasn't going to hurt you."
"You didn't see the look in its eyes!" Audrey proclaimed, and Uma just shook her head at the princess, trying to overcome her bout of mirth.
"Whatever you say," Uma replied, much too self-satisfied for Audrey's liking.
Audrey snatched the eggs swiftly and started out of the henhouse with Uma on her heels.
To her horror, the chickens were now gathered around, and she screamed, instinctually backing up quickly. She ran directly into Uma, elbowing her hard in the stomach, and the pirate grunted slightly with a chuckle.
"Calm down some, would you? You're a menace!" Uma cried, holding her stomach where Audrey had accidentally jabbed her.
Audrey just made some half-screeching noise as she charged through the gate and around the puppy that was waiting patiently for Uma. Uma looked down at the chickens and then looked at the dog sitting there on the ground.
"Well. I guess she's not into foul play," Uma joked, chuckling in response to her statement. The puppy just looked at her adoringly, not understanding why it was funny but loving her all the same.
Once Uma and Audrey had made it back into the house, they got started eating breakfast before too long, and everyone was greatly enjoying the taste of fresh eggs and pancakes.
"These are excellent, Mrs. Anne," Audrey complimented, trying her best to eat like a princess but mostly looking like a blowfish as she stuffed her face. Everyone offered enthusiastic nods and noises of affirmation as they barely had time to speak between bites.
"Oh, please, dear, just Anne," the old woman waved away her formalities, but it was easy to see that the praise had made the elderly lady fill with pride.
"What are we doing today, George?" Evie questioned in that sweet manner, settling her brown eyes on the older man. He smiled at her kindly and took a sip of his orange juice before speaking.
"Well, I've got you some things to do this morning, but as for the afternoon, I'm not sure yet," he informed them, and Evie smiled as he spoke, turning her attention to her cheese-covered eggs.
Uma was shoveling them in her mouth with an unmatched vigor, almost completely throwing away manners in her love of the food.
"So, what are we doing this morning?" Mal asked George, and he stroked his chin as he eyed her.
"Well, you're going to be feeding and watering the cows," he explained, and Mal nodded effortlessly, "Jane's going to be caring for the sheep," Jane's eyes immediately widened in horror, "Evie's going to slop the hogs," Evie swallowed hard, her gaze shifting up to meet George's, "and Uma's going to be throwing the horses a few bales of hay and checking their shoes."
Uma immediately choked, her eyes even wider than Jane's could've ever begun to be, as she tried to regain some semblance of control over herself. Uma coughed hard, her eyes watering as she breathed heavily.
"Okay… Horses, huh?" Uma wheezed, trying to look significantly more nonchalant than she actually was feeling.
"Yeah. Is that a problem?" George questioned, furrowing his brow in worry. Uma was quick to negate his inquiry.
"No, no, of course not. It's all good," Uma offered a weak thumbs-up as she regained control of her breathing.
He just looked at her strangely but continued on in explaining to the girls about what they'd be doing and how to do it.
When they were through with breakfast, each girl headed their separate way. Audrey had remained inside to help Anne clean up breakfast's remains. Uma looked at the other three girls nearby her and gave them a small two-fingered salute.
"Good luck, y'all," Uma wished them kindly, and Evie offered her an oddly sympathetic smile. Uma was immediately on the defense, under the most distinct impression that the bluenette knew her secret.
"Good luck to you, too," Evie sweetly reciprocated, and Mal looked between them quickly, confused as to what was going on.
Uma didn't say any more, but started toward the horse fence. Nearby the barn, it was covered in dust and dirt on the ground, but as it expanded, it grew grassier. Uma took a deep breath, hoping that the horses wouldn't show themselves any time soon as she reached the fence. She sighed deeply, pulling herself together.
She suddenly felt something scratching her leg, and she instinctively jumped in fear, almost yelping in the midst of her unnerved emotion.
Uma rammed into the fence and looked down at whatever had touched her leg, and she saw the puppy sitting there.
"Hey, tiny," Uma greeted, ruffling the fur on its head as she let out a shaky breath of immense relief.
"I thought you were one of those giant horses," Uma informed her, playfully rubbing her ears. The puppy tilted its head, and Uma smiled widely.
"You know, I always talked about wanting a sea pony, but a sea pony's more like a seahorse, not a real, bonafide land horse," Uma told the pup thoughtfully, raising her eyebrows as she looked down at it.
She just happily leaned into Uma's touch, fully enjoying Uma's petting and doting on her, despite the fact that she didn't understand anything that the pirate was saying to her. After a few moments, Uma sighed heavily, knowing that she needed to get to work.
"Well, you go on. Don't want those big ruffians scaring you, too," Uma attempted to send her about her way, but the puppy sat down by the fence, not leaving but not advancing any further.
"Alright, sweetie. If you're not leaving, then just stay put. I don't want them running you over," Uma pointed, her voice only having a hint of sternness to it.
The puppy just watched her adoringly, and Uma shook her head, turning toward the fence.
To her immense shock and horror, there were six horses approaching her corner of the fence curiously, their ears turned toward her as they listened to her talking so sweetly to the puppy.
Uma swallowed, suddenly feeling her mouth go very dry as her legs wanted nothing more than to take her away. They continued to get closer, and Uma had to steel every nerve left in her to make her remain still.
"Yo," Uma finally mustered as a greeting, and they stopped, looking at her with interest.
"I'm just gonna feed you, nothing more, nothing less. But I am going to have to check your shoes, so bear with me there," Uma chuckled nervously, freaking out as she tried to keep her cool.
She headed over to the small square hay bales and she pulled her pocketknife from her jeans, cutting the rope binding the bale as George had instructed. Uma lifted it, her muscles straining a bit with its weight.
Uma hesitantly approached the fence, and begrudgingly noticed that the horses had made their way over to the fence, their heads hanging over the top as they reached for the hay bale.
Uma clenched her teeth as she dropped it over the edge of the fence. Several of them started to eat it eagerly, but a few of them were still looking at her strangely.
Uma dropped another inside the fence after slicing the rope binding it together. The others that hadn't started to chomp on the hay reached over and started to eat at it slowly, seemingly only waiting for her to drop their individual bale in.
"Okay… I guess I'll check your shoes now," Uma very hesitantly started to climb the fence. Her feet landed squarely on the dirt with a thud, and the horse nearest to her swung his head toward her slowly. Uma instinctually took a step back, her hands held up placatingly.
"Now, look here, we ain't going to be getting any sort of ideas, okay?" Uma checked, and it sluggishly turned back to the hay. Uma let out a breath of relief before reaching out for a hoof as George had so easily instructed.
She took hold of it, getting in the proper position to examine it.
"If you kick me in the face, I'm going to be really ticked," Uma nervously explained, but everything seemed to be fine as she looked it over.
"Okay. You're all good, I think," Uma spoke, but she jumped at the feel of a nibble at the back of her leg.
"Woah, woah! We're getting invasive here!" Uma laughed anxiously, but her eyes went wide as the horse turned and started toward her slowly.
Uma's eyes widened as she backed away as quickly as she could manage.
"Stop now, we ain't starting this business. You feel me?" Uma checked, but the horse sped up slightly to a trot as it moved toward her. Uma fled a bit faster, and the horse sped up, trying to reach her.
"Stop that! STOP!" Uma cried, but quickly gave up any semblances of dignity as she took off as fast as she could for the nearest fence that she could jump.
"DANGIT!"
With Evie, things were about to get hectic as well.
Once she had parted ways with Jane and Mal, Evie had headed toward the hog enclosure to give them their slop.
Evie was mostly happy with this job. She'd take it over mucking stalls any day. Except for the fact that the slop stunk terribly, and she honestly didn't know what animal in its right mind would eat something that smelled so bad.
Evie approached the hog pen, and she looked in the direction of the cow fence in hopes of spotting Mal. To her happiness, she spotted her best friend from afar, filling the cow's trough with fresh water, and Evie waved in the stereotypical Miss Auradon manner just to get a laugh out of the other girl. Mal did laugh, and Evie offered her a huge grin in response, opening the lid on her slop container.
As soon as the fresh scent of gross, mixed food hit her nose, Evie almost gagged. It was ten times more gross than she had anticipated, and it was all that she could muster to keep her stomach in its proper place.
"Sooie, pig, pig, pig!" Evie called, recollecting just how the old western stars had done it in the movies that she had forced Mal to watch with her. She clapped her hands a few times, trying to get their attention as she started to pour the slop down into their trough.
They all came hurrying over, making all sorts of grunting noises, and Evie jumped backward away from the fence quickly as soon as all of the contents of her bucket were emptied. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as she looked upon the nasty creatures.
"You are so revolting," Evie muttered underneath her breath as she watched them eat in a manner akin to rabid pack animals.
"I can see how it's been proven that you'd eat a human," Evie pointed out, covering her nose and mouth with a hand as she tried to keep the stench of pig poop mixed with the disgusting food out of her nose.
"Ugh… I might as well make something useful of this and take a selfie for the boys," Evie spoke to herself, pulling out her phone and holding it up with the pigs in the background.
However, before she could press the button, she felt a hard pinch on her behind, and she immediately knew what had happened.
"You booty-biting, biscuit-eating, honkin' tonkin', turd-bird hoodlum!" Evie screamed at the top of her lungs, hopping up and down in her fury as the goose hurried away, honking in a way that seemed as if it were laughing at her. Worst of all, Mal actually was laughing at her, bent over in pure mirth as she watched Evie throwing a fit there in the yard.
Evie huffed angrily as her nostrils flared. That goose was too much for her, and she had enough.
Meanwhile, Jane was peacefully working with the sheep, actually enjoying her time with them even though one of them had taken her on a wild ride the previous day.
She was calmly filling their feed trough when she suddenly heard the greatest amount of racket that had ever met her ears. Jane turned and she spotted Uma running as fast as she could to get away from a horse that was galloping behind her.
Jane raised an eyebrow before turning and taking a quick selfie just as Uma was vaulting the fence.
The boys were certainly going to have some interesting material for this morning's report.
A/N: So Uma's greatest fear is horses… That should be interesting considering the fact that they're on a farm of all things. And poor Audrey. Personally, I hate snakes despite how harmless they might be. I've seen a chicken snake lunge to attack somebody. I'm not a snake person, lol. They've had an interesting second morning.
Let me know what you guys thought! Your reviews keep me fueled. :)