I honestly don't know if it's "healthy" or even smart to write in this thing multiple times per day, on occasion, but I do know that ever since I began writing in a journal, I've felt differently. I thought maybe that rereading my own words from time to time would make me better at making and committing to decisions, or help me make sense of the path that I'm choosing to walk. Somehow, though, it's having the opposite effect- sometimes, when I reread previous entries, I feel as though they were written by someone else. In a way, I suppose they were. Dai from two weeks ago was alone, heading out into the sands with a vague idea of what towns were in sight. Dai of today has a team, a girlfriend, and a definite destination with a task to complete upon arrival.

I like the Dai of today, even if he seems unsure of his footing. I think the big difference since I began writing is that before, I was confused about what to do next, while now, I'm confused about how to handle what I know is coming. Harold's Folly, the job, the White Fang, and even simple things like getting to know Sun and Shiv are all puzzles to be solved. Maybe I can find the solutions within these pages, in time. I did find one clue already, after all, when I reread a few entries before beginning to pen this one.

Shiv's demeanor has gotten significantly frostier in the period of merely a single day. At first I thought it was my imagination, but upon reading back and trying to put some pieces together, I think I may know what's going on. Of course, I also thought I knew what was going on with Cin and her sudden knowledge of me, and I was wrong, so I'm treating this notion with skepticism. I believe Shiv may actually be jealous, and if I'm right, I need to find a way to fix it, and quickly.

Ever since Shiv found Cin and I outside of the RV earlier this morning, his eyes have been just a bit narrower. His words spoken with a bit more bite. Something about his posture has stiffened, and his nose has become even more upturned than it has been since we met. It likely doesn't help that Cin insists on occasionally showing her affection for me regardless of who may be watching, but that raises another interesting point. Shiv was indeed concerned about Sun seeing his sister getting close to me, but, oddly enough, Sun seems to be what I can only describe as delighted by our sudden, whirlwind romance.

Sun certainly lives up to his name, and all day long, he seemed to shine brighter. He might just be happier now that he's with us, instead of tending to a legion of screaming, greedy, obnoxious, teary, spiteful halflings that most people call "children", but it's hard to say. Nothing has been explicitly said about the change in the way that Cin has been acting, and I'm honestly thankful for it. If her little brother started asking questions, or pointing things out, I would be far more uncomfortable and embarrassed than I already am when she runs her nails from my shoulders down to my stomach from behind while I'm sitting down and trying to hold a conversation.

I will say, though, that I hope she never stops doing it. Her nails are divine.

Regardless, tensions in the RV are at an all-time high thanks to Shiv's foul mood, though that honestly isn't saying much, considering we've only been on the "road", as it were, for a day. He seems to be the only one unhappy, or at least perturbed, but to his credit, he's been participating in conversations with us. Given that another member of the caravan, and presumably, the White Fang, is driving us around, the four of us have spent most of the day simply speaking and eating together. For the most part, it's been nice, and a welcome change to the somewhat frantic pace of the past week.

Fortunately, the topics on the table have been relatively light material, and served the purpose of letting me get to know the other two men of SAWS. Or, one man and a boy, I guess, though I think Sun is mature enough to be labeled "man" in his own way. I think he's actually more mature than me, emotionally, but that's worthy of a separate entry. Maybe the next one, if tomorrow is mostly uneventful.

Regardless, I'm getting sidetracked, as I so often do- I've noticed, in rereading my writing, that I sometimes go off on entire separate thoughts, right in the middle of trying to tell a story, or compose a thought about a particular subject. It just occurred to me that I got sidetracked by mentioning my tendency to get sidetracked.

No one should ever read this journal. It is objectively awful.

The original thought and circumstance that I wanted to detail was that the conversations throughout the day eventually looped back around to weaponry. For the first and only time all day, I saw Shiv's eyes regain the mirthful, devious glint that they had held all of yesterday. Our resident mink faunus was all too happy to share with the class, and I must say- I was rather impressed, if overwhelmed.

I'm not sure what, exactly, I expected, but Shiv's weaponry does make perfect sense for his build and personality. I'm not entirely sure what to call it, actually, but Shiv is primarily a sniper at heart, with quite possibly the most expensive-looking firearm I've ever seen. The entire length of his "rifle", we'll call it, is made of a gold-colored metal, because of course it is. Cyan engravings and accents are all over the barrel and stock, and the weapon features several modular parts. I will admit, I didn't understand all of what he explained to us, rather excitedly, I might add, and I didn't catch what he had named the firearm, though I know he did do so. I zoned out somewhere around when he mentioned usage of a specific chemical that began with a "P" that I had never heard of. I am truly happy that he seemed to be in a bit of a better mood both during, and after his sharing of his weapon, though, and I do mean that. I want us all to get along. I want this to work.

Sun was next in line, and he showed off quite possibly the most dangerous and nonsensical weapon I've ever personally encountered. His 'gunchuks', as he calls them, seem like the sort of thing more likely to put their wielder in the hospital than an enemy. After a quick demonstration of the nunchaku and staff capabilities of his weaponry outside of the van, though, I trust that he can handle them. Sun is a whirling dervish of flailing shotguns, and I honestly have no idea how he could have trained and learned to use his weaponry without shooting himself at least once. I did manage to catch that he calls them Ruyi Bang and Jingu Bang, at the very least. Probably because he kept his demonstration and explanation simple, and didn't start talking about chemistry, wind speed, ballistic flight, interchangeable scopes, muzzle brakes, and whatever other fancy terminology Shiv lorded over the rest of us.

For an hour and twenty-three minutes. Yes, I kept track.

Shiv didn't give anyone else a chance to talk for the duration, except for when Sun would excitedly ask questions, and I would die just a little more inside in response. I'm not sure if the boy was feigning interest, or genuinely understood what Shiv was talking about, but I both love and hate his enthusiasm. Sun is a treasure, despite how long he drew out Shiv's ego-stroking. For a while there, he was a treasure I wanted to bury, but a treasure all the same.

I was next in line for show and tell, and my demonstration and explanation went about how I expected it to. Sun was curious, asked far too many questions for comfort, and wanted to borrow and try out my still nameless fan-shotgun. To my surprise, Shiv also asked a few questions, though they were all things that I had no idea how to answer. Even if he was simply trying to make me look incompetent in front of Cin, I will give him some credit- after handing over my weapon to him, he was able to answer the questions himself, and offered some pointers on modifying the weapon. He certainly seems to know what he's talking about, even though I don't know if I could bring myself to actually make any alterations. It feels wrong, somehow, to tamper with an heirloom.

Obviously, Cin was the last to share her weaponry, and I will admit that I paid distinctly more attention to her than the others. I'm allowed to be biased, and I'll freely own up to that. Though I had seen the arm-mounted crossbow in action, I didn't fully understand the way in which the bladed arms flipped forward to become a sort of bracer with twin daggers mounted upon the front until I saw it up close. Though the way that Cin spoke about how she had cobbled together the weapon from spare parts was interesting and provided some insight into her mechanical know-how that I wasn't aware of, that isn't what interested me the most.

The most interesting and significant thing about Cin's weapon to me is that she hasn't named hers, either. For the first time in our little share-out, I asked a question, and it was as simple as "why not"? Cin didn't have an answer for everyone present, though something about her expression told me that she might have one for herself.

Maybe one for me, if and when we are next alone.

Maybe I shouldn't push it. Maybe I should keep my curiosity to myself, given her immediate shift in mood. Maybe pushing it is exactly what she wants. Maybe I'm terrible at reading women.

Actually, I don't think that last one is a "maybe", given my romantic history. That's another thing that will become a future entry, and I think it may come soon. I need to keep writing things down to try to straighten out my thoughts, or make them conveniently presentable to someone else in the future. That notion also makes me wonder whether or not I have any right to record whatever personal details Cin might share with me in the coming days, weeks, and hopefully months and years. I'm going to need to reevaluate who I allow to see this, when that time comes. Maybe, eventually, I'll settle on a definite answer.

I think that about does it, for this entry. I'm not sure what else to say. It's odd, recording my thoughts when I'm mostly content. I may still be confused and a bit anxious about things, but overall, I think I'm just… happy, right now, in a general sense. Having Cin to lean on is something wonderful and unexpected, and having Sun here to silently cheer us on is much the same. I even like having Shiv around, despite having somewhat of a rocky day with him. Of course, knowing how things tend to go, I expect some crisis will arise tomorrow. For now, though, I'm more than happy to leave that thought for another day, and turn in for the night. Until next time, I have some white dreadlocks to stroke and awkward, likely terrible sweet nothings to whisper into Cin's ear while being glared at from across the RV by a mink faunus.

Author's Note:

A simple chapter, but a needed one. Next week's Thursday update may be something different, like a What You Stole 2 chapter. Not sure just yet.

-RD