"So… let me just say that this has been officially the longest, but also the best week of my life," Evie started, relaxing against the side of the barn as she started the conversation.

"I will miss all of the animals and people that live here just the exact moment that I leave tomorrow morning," Evie expressed sweetly, feeling her heart warm at the thought of the wonderful beings she had the pleasure of meeting.

"It's been super fun. Even the near-death experiences and the more disgusting moments that involved… feces," Evie attempted to elegantly address.

"I think that it all will serve to enrich us in the end," Evie acknowledged wisely and calmly, her chocolate, caramel colored eyes looking out at the horizon. However, a small frown came onto her face as she considered her next words.

"So please… Please. Please, don't bite me on the butt again," Evie implored, looking down at the goose that was standing there beside her as she raised an eyebrow at it. It tilted its head to better stare her down as she spoke.

"It's my last official full day here, and I wanted to have at least one happy memory with you and me."

The goose honked at her, and Evie took in a breath to continue when she suddenly heard a rustle behind the barn door. Evie glanced at it, and her eyes widened as her sister's head poked out from between the door and the doorway.

"You aren't seriously talking to the goose, are you?" Mal questioned, and Evie offered her a large grin as she cast one last warning glance in the goose's direction.

"Of course not."

"Okay, because you know, the last time you did that, he got you anyway," Mal informed her, and Evie just smiled widely as Mal leaned into her fondly, looking at the horizon with her.

"Last day… You ready to take it on?" Mal questioned, shifting her gaze to the bluenette. Evie rested her head against Mal's as she contentedly closed her eyes, just enjoying the other girl's presence.

Ever since last night, Mal had made a point to get closer to Evie and allow herself to be even more openly loving than she usually was. Evie knew that she was expressing her repentance, but she was unashamedly enjoying the attention that it brought to her. After all, Evie was very much a hugger, and she loved affection quite possibly more than anyone else in the whole group.

"Definitely," Evie expressed, completely sure of herself. She knew she could take anything on when she had Mal by her side.

"Girl, I'm serious. I'll bet you twenty bucks that you're going out to that chicken pen. And I'll bet another ten that you find a snake," Uma's voice suddenly sounded off, and Audrey, Uma, and Jane started out the door, accompanying Evie and Mal.

"Yeah, sure. I bet that I won't."

"What amount, princess?" Uma questioned, and Audrey just huffed at her, but Evie could easily see that the brunette was enjoying Uma's easy bantering with her.

"Ladies don't bet money, Uma," Audrey replied simply as they started to amble toward the farmhouse. Evie watched the goose carefully to ensure that he wasn't planning any sneak attacks, and Evie noted with satisfaction that he didn't seem to be following her at all.

"I think you're just chicken," Uma told her with a much too large grin, and it quickly occurred to Audrey precisely the joke that Uma had made.

"Oh, ha, ha, so funny," Audrey responded to her, scrunching her nose as she smiled falsely at Uma.

The group headed up the steps, and as soon as they came in, Anne was standing by the frying pan, preparing it to cook. Audrey's eyes widened and she hoped that Anne wasn't preparing for what Audrey thought the old woman was.

"Oh, there's my star egg-gatherer," Anne cheerfully greeted, and Audrey felt her stomach fall to her feet as she practically felt the smirk on Uma's face.

"You owe me twenty bucks," Uma whispered, leaning near the pink princess, and Audrey closed her eyes, willing away the frustration towards Uma's victory over her, before reopening them with a big grin.

"Of course, Miss Anne. I'll go take care of it for you," Audrey agreed easily, much easier than she actually felt like responding. She really felt like screaming. With the way things had been going, there was no telling what would happen to her in that stupid chicken pen.

"And do hurry back, dear. I have a special task for you girls to complete before breakfast," Anne expressed to her, and Audrey suddenly found herself very worried about what that particular task could be.

With these people, it could be anything.

Audrey went out the door, heading for the fence, and she heard footsteps thudding behind her quietly in the grass. Audrey turned to face whoever had come outside with her, and she quickly spotted Uma standing there.

"What are you doing? Coming to gloat about how you were right?" Audrey huffily questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No. I'm not," Uma oddly sincerely spoke, and Audrey allowed herself to let her guard down just a bit in her pure surprise at Uma's seemingly genuine sentiment.

"I just wanted to make sure that you won't be shirking me of my other ten bucks," Uma proudly proclaimed with a smirk, and Audrey immediately put back up her defensive walls as she harrumphed all the way to the gate of the chicken enclosure. Uma followed along, chuckling to herself.

Audrey went in the gate mostly fearlessly, and as soon as she shut it behind her, she realized that she hadn't went through her mental pep talk that she always had before facing these creatures.

But with Uma just behind her, Audrey knew that she couldn't even begin to act as if she were suffering any sort of fear as a result of the foul.

Audrey bravely continued about her way, but paused as she spotted a particular scene nearby the building. Her eyes softened significantly as she spotted the baby chicks nearby the building. Audrey smiled widely as she was consumed by the adorable fluffy puffballs, and she knelt down beside the building.

"What are you doing? Falling sucker to a baby animal, huh?" Uma questioned, and Audrey looked back at the pirate only to see that she had picked up her own big white fluffball that was currently licking the pirate's chin happily.

"Yeah. Look who's talking," Audrey shot back at her, and Uma quickly dropped her grin. Audrey turned back to the chicks, self-satisfied that she had managed to quieten Uma so effectively.

"Hello, little chicky babies," Audrey cooed sweetly, her voice getting high-pitched as she baby-talked the birds. One of them was braver than the rest, and it took a few steps forward, looking up at her curiously as it tilted its head.

"You are just the cutest little thing!" Audrey told it, and the tiny bird stayed still, watching her. Audrey finally couldn't resist it any longer, and she reached down, aiming to pick up the fluffy little angel.

But then its sleek big devil mother came running over.

Audrey barely noticed the chicken before it was flapping at her, flying down toward her. Audrey let loose with an enormous scream, taking off through the chicken pen with the bird right behind her.

"STOP! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Audrey screeched at the top of her lungs, and she didn't even notice Uma laughing at her from the fence, pulling out her camera as she took a selfie with the pink princess in the background.

Audrey tore across the dirt-covered lot, chickens scattering in front of her and that crazy nut bird flapping behind her at the speed of light as it chased her.

"HELP! GET AWAY!" Audrey screamed, waving her hand behind her as she ran in an attempt to send the chicken away. It continued to pursue her, flying up into the air every few seconds as it hopped off of the ground. Audrey rammed into the chain-link fence, and she quickly grabbed onto it, pulling as she attempted to drag herself back into momentum.

Uma allowed herself to just laugh and watch Audrey for a moment, putting her camera away after a few moments as she held the puppy in her arms lovingly.

However, after a while of this, Uma finally felt sorry for the poor princess, and she sat the dog down on the grass before coming into the chicken pen. She walked into the hen house, gathering the eggs and noting that there was very unfortunately a lack of snakes. Uma then came out of the henhouse, watching as Audrey raced around and chickens dodged her wild footsteps. Uma sighed before taking in a breath to yell at the princess.

"Audrey, over here! The gate's over here!" Uma called, pointing at the gate with her free hand as she made a pouch with her shirt. Audrey screeched as the chicken attempted to flog her once again, and she barely glanced in Uma's direction before charging toward the pirate. Uma braced herself, moving out of Audrey's way as she opened the gate.

Audrey ran out of the gate and Uma swiftly came out with her, successfully shutting the chicken in the pen.

Audrey was breathing hard, her hands on her knees as she tried to regain her breath. She closed her eyes and when she wasn't looking, Uma's puppy reached up on its hind legs and licked her nose. Audrey giggled slightly, not really liking the dog slobber but appreciating the puppy all the same. Audrey tentatively reached out, running her fingers through the puppy's poofy hair as she scratched her neck gently.

"Don't be getting too attached now," Uma playfully warned, and Audrey looked up at the pirate with a relieved grin. Uma offered her a hand, helping the princess straighten as they started back toward the house.

"Well, Uma, I only owe you ten dollars," Audrey told the pirate, and Uma raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"I had to go to the chicken pen which was twenty dollars, but I didn't run into a snake, which is ten dollars I get. I pay you ten dollars," Audrey explained, and Uma grinned, proud of the princess for keeping track of her debts so well.

"So, you do… So, you do," Uma replied with a sly grin, and they walked up the porch. Uma opened the door and they both entered the room. Mal and Evie were seated nearby one another. Mal absentmindedly tugging on strands of Evie's hair that had fallen down in front of her shoulder as she listened to Anne speak. Jane was seated nearby Mal, fiddling with the tablecloth.

"There you two are. Now, give me the eggs, and I'll tell y'all what you'll be getting up to," Anne informed them, and Uma offered her all of the eggs in her pouch that she made with her shirt. Anne took them swiftly and she started to crack them.

"Alright, girls, do any of you know anything about milking?" Anne finally asked, looking back at the group, and Evie's hand instinctually shot up sky high as she volunteered the input of her knowledge. Uma just raised an eyebrow as she watched the bluenette.

"Yes?" Anne questioned with a slight chuckle, enjoying Evie's antics thoroughly.

"Milking involves the steady and firm downward force upon a cow's udders in order to reap the natural bounty of the bovine," Evie explained, and Mal was honestly beginning to question whether she had chosen a textbook for her best friend or an actual human being.

"Great description, but I was wondering if y'all know how to milk," Anne uncertainly told them, almost sounding as if she didn't quite understand what had spilled from between Evie's lips. But none of them really knew what Evie had said since it came out so fast and so complicated.

"Of course," Evie replied confidently.

"Yeah, in theory, for sure. But in practice? Heck, no," Uma shot down Evie's optimistic attitude, and Evie drooped a bit with the negation.

"Well, just grab the udders, squeeze, and pull down," Anne informed them.

"So, why are we getting the talk? Are we going out to milk or something?" Uma asked, and Anne nodded happily.

"Yep. George already has you girls set up over yonder in the milking shed," Anne pointed in a direction, and the girls all raised their eyebrows, surprised that was what they were doing.

"We'll be using that milk for our breakfast this morning," Anne informed them, and Audrey's eyes almost fell out of her head as she gaped at the woman. She didn't say anything to the old lady, though, and instead shut her mouth from her jaw's current position on the floor.

"I guess we'll be going out then. Be back in a few minutes," Mal told her, and all of the girls arose from their seated positions as they followed the faerie out the door.

Evie hurried over so that she was even with Mal, taking her hand and lacing it with her fingers as they headed for the area where they would be milking the cows. Mal squeezed her hand in return, enjoying Evie's presence and the fact that she hadn't hurt her irreparably.

Soon enough, they entered the door to the building, and there were five cows, three in a row and two in a row that was parallel to the group of three. There were five stools next to each of the cattle, and as it appeared, two sets of two girls were going to be sitting back to back while one of them would be sitting at the last cow in the row of three.

George was standing there, watching the creatures carefully, and he looked up at the girls with a kind smile.

"There y'all are. Just pull you up a stump on one of these here stools and you can get started. Anne did tell you girls how to milk, right?" George asked, and they all expressed varying forms of agreement as they started to get in their respective positions.

Naturally, Evie and Mal sat back to back. Next came Audrey and Uma, and then there was Jane sitting at the last cow in the row of three.

"Good. Alright, well, it shouldn't take you long. Just bring the buckets up to the front porch when you're through," George informed them, and he left out the door, pulling it shut behind him.

Evie immediately started to examine the cow before her, the scientist at heart getting the best of her as she leaned up under the animal, looking underneath it. Meanwhile, the rest of the girls except for Audrey actually started to milk the cow before them.

"Wow, M! Look at this! I've never seen anything like it," Evie expressed to Mal, and the faerie pushed back into Evie fondly from her place just behind the bluenette.

"I'm seeing the same sights you are," Mal joked, and Evie didn't even pay attention to what the faerie was saying to her as she continued right on through her intense studying of the cow.

Uma started squeezing the udders, dragging downward as Anne had instructed them, and she winced as she realized just how difficult the task was.

However, after a moment, she realized that the pink princess behind her wasn't doing any milking whatsoever. Uma turned so that she was looking back at Audrey, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Ain't you gonna milk?" Uma questioned, and Audrey immediately started to complain, but she did reach forward and tentatively start to try to grab the udders before her.

"Ew, I can't believe I have to touch cow boobs!" Audrey whined, and Uma rolled her eyes, and chuckled as she fully enjoyed the princess' fit-throwing.

"Don't think of it that way. Think of it as… Reaping the natural bounty of the bovine," Uma announced before cackling at Audrey's expense, looking to Evie with a wide grin as she used the bluenette's terminology.

Evie looked up at the pirate just barely, offering her a smile before returning her attentions to the cow's udders.

"And furthermore, I can't believe we're drinking cow juice straight from the cow!" Audrey complained, actually squirting some into her pail.

"It's so… thick," Audrey acknowledged, sounding like she might puke over the texture of the milk.

"Well, I really don't think there's anything wrong with it," Uma told her, and Audrey winced as she immediately thought of everything that was wrong with it. "I've had worse."

"That black mud coffee?" Mal questioned, and Uma pointed a finger-gun in the faerie's direction.

"But seriously! Mud is great and all, but milk has to be processed so that it's safe for human consumption! This stuff hasn't been pasteurized!" Audrey cried, and Uma grinned wickedly as soon as a positively wicked thought came into her mind

"Well, technically, it's already pasteurized. It's been out there in the pasture, after all," Uma informed the princess, and she laughed as Audrey reached back and smacked her leg the best that she could.

"That is so gross!" Audrey cried, and Uma shook her head, settling for just milking her cow.

"M, this is so amazing. Can you imagine the experiments that I could be performing on this? Like, I could invent a milk extractor based upon the speed of the trajectory of the milk out of the udders!" Evie grinned widely, purely thrilled as she immersed herself fully in her scientific endeavors. Mal thought it was sweet how involved that Evie got, and she even admired her sister for it, but Mal honestly didn't have a clue what Evie was talking about.

"Well, I have no idea, and I'm honestly scared to think of what you could come up with," Mal told her, but Evie had leaned underneath the bovine, successfully closing herself off from the normal world outside of her studying. Evie hadn't really had a chance to fully examine something that was this close to what she had studied at the Auradon Prep, and Mal knew better than anyone that Evie treasured field trips and tests.

So Mal resolvedly decided to leave Evie alone and let her enjoy her time looking at the cow.

"Is there some reason that she's getting such enjoyment out of this?" Audrey asked Mal, looking at Evie strangely, and the faerie just shrugged.

"She's a scientist and a mathematician at heart. Some things can't be helped," Mal joked, nudging Evie slightly, but Evie wasn't even listening as she milked the cow carefully. Mal rolled her eyes fondly and started milking her own cow once again.

The four started to get more immersed in their tasks, focusing on how their hands were starting to kill them and how they didn't understand why any person would go to this much trouble when they could just go and buy a gallon of milk at the supermarket.

They were so focused on these tasks that they didn't pay attention to Evie's mumblings. Despite the fact that they definitely should have been if they were wise.

"Hmm… In order to truly comprehend the extent of a cow's ability to produce milk at a certain rate, I need to measure the speed of the trajectory," Evie murmured to herself as she took an udder and aimed it to her left. She held onto it firmly before squirting it hard.

Uma was minding her own business and happily milking when Evie performed this test, and she very unfortunately became the dependent variable in Evie's experiment.

"What the-" Uma reached up to her cheek and wiped it before realizing that there was milk on her cheek. She knew it had come from Mal and Evie's direction, and she couldn't help but already come to her own conclusions surrounding who she thought was guilty of squirting her.

Uma shot Mal a dirty look, and the faerie happened to glance at Uma when the pirate looked at her. Mal raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You squirted me," Uma accusingly pointed out, and Mal furrowed her brow.

"I didn't do anything to you," Mal informed the pirate, and Uma just eyed her skeptically.

"Sure thing. 'Cause it was definitely Evie," Uma sarcastically spoke, and Evie was so in her own head that she didn't even hear Uma.

They returned to milking, and Evie held up the udder again.

"Test two of trajectory," Evie spoke to herself before letting loose with another squirt, and once again, it hit Uma's cheek.

Uma spun around to face Mal, two udders firmly held in her hands.

"Stop doing that!" Uma demanded, and Mal just shook her head at the other girl, not knowing what in the world that Uma was talking about.

"Test three," Evie murmured just barely as she squirted it once more, and as soon as it hit Uma, she turned around, aiming her udders toward Mal.

"Okay, you asked for it," Uma told her before unloading on the faerie. Mal let out a surprised yelp, but she quickly caught on, returning fire wholeheartedly and wildly.

"Stop! STOP! You're going to get it in my hair!" Audrey screeched, and Uma and Mal just kept shooting milk at one another. Audrey stood up quickly from her stool, screaming about how they were completely out of control and needed to stop what they were doing.

By now, Evie was drawn from what she was doing, and she was watching Mal and Uma as she wiped milk from her arms.

"What are you two doing?!" Evie demanded, worriedly noting that the cows were starting to shift and were giving off this nervous aura.

Mal and Uma continued to give each other everything they had as they wet each other with the milk.

"You guys, seriously, stop!" Evie told them, seeing how the cows looked as if they were about to start running. But Mal and Uma were too far into it now, each one refusing to back down.

Jane's cow was the first one to run, and as soon as it did, pandemonium set about the shed. Mal and Uma nearly fell off their stools as the cows lurched forward and started acting insane. Audrey was screaming, which only served to set them off more, and Jane was trying to hide somewhere.

Uma and Mal got up quickly, and Uma grabbed one of the buckets that appeared to be at least a little intact. Evie took Mal's hand, spotting a way out, and they rushed toward the door, Uma quick behind them. Audrey slipped around the side of the spooked cows, grabbing Jane and pulling her from her hiding place as they hurried toward the exit.

They all tumbled out the doors behind Evie with Mal in tow, and they shut the door quickly. Uma held the pail of milk in her hand carefully, noticing that it was only about half-full. However, she wasn't about to go back inside to see if there were any more that weren't knocked over.

They all leaned back against the door, breathing heavily as they regained their senses.

"Aw, man. I didn't get to finish testing the trajectory of a cow udder," Evie expressed to them, completely disappointed, and Uma's gaze snapped to Mal's. They both immediately realized that Evie was the one who had in fact squirted Uma with the milk.

Uma looked at Evie, a tight-lipped smile on her face as she barely controlled the urge to do something bad.

"Evie. I'm giving you a ten second head start," Uma informed the bluenette, and Evie looked between Uma and Mal worriedly.

"What? Ten seconds?"

"Nine," Uma counted down, and Evie furrowed her brow.

"What did I do?"

"Eight."

"No, Uma, what's wrong?"

"Seven."

"Just run, E, run!" Mal instructed to help the poor confused girl, despite the fact that Mal was not at all pleased with Evie's squirting Uma. Evie looked at Mal with confusion, but at Mal's continued ushering, Evie started to run across the yard.

Uma hadn't even gotten to five yet before she was speeding after the taller girl, the milk bucket firmly in hand as she readied herself to drench the other girl in the liquid.

As soon as Evie saw her with the milk pail, Evie started taking her running infinitely more seriously as they chased and raced around the yard, Evie screaming of peace and confusion.

Mal was sure to get a selfie with the other two girls while Evie and Uma ran in the background.

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day! Do have a day filled with loved ones like your family, your significant other, your friends, and whoever else. :)

Now that I have addressed the first issue of current business, let me just say good grief… These girls need a vacation or something. XD I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! The next two are going to be rather humorous if I do say so myself… So be afraid- be very afraid, lol.