We've been in the Mistral main camp for several days, now. I haven't had any desire to write, mostly because I've been wrestling with how to put my thoughts into words at all since our arrival. We did manage to convince Adam Taurus to withdraw to Vacuo, but other than that, very little has gone right. Everyone and everything here feels tense. The lack of trust in the air is palpable, and it's to the point where even among Cin, Blake, Ilia, Shiv, and I, the dynamics have already begun to change. I don't like any of it, and I don't know what else to do beyond focusing on stabilizing this main camp and beginning to repair the image of the Fang. Well, that, and record my thoughts on the situation here, as well as the people. Three of them in particular are on my mind a lot, and only one of them in a positive light.

Adam Taurus is not at all what I expected, at least in terms of how he carries himself. Every small piece of grainy footage I've seen of him, every media hit piece I've read, and every second-hand account that I've heard paints him as some sort of rabid dog. I was expecting him to be totally unhinged from square one, and potentially threaten one or all of us. Instead, he's an entirely different sort of intimidating. He never removes his mask, even within the campgrounds, but I can feel his cold stare from behind the polished metal. Adam is a man who knows his strengths and employs them incredibly effectively- he keeps his posture perfect at all times, emphasizing his impressive height and using it to tower over people. His voice is deep, rich, and full of purpose. One hand is always upon the hilt of his weapon, even when no threats are present. All in all, he looks and acts the part of a leader, and his overall presence seems smothering to the vast majority. Funnily enough, his tactics don't work on me, Cin, Blake, or Shiv. I think that may be why Ghira chose us to do this job.

Ilia and Blake both stood a bit closer to Adam than I expected while we relayed Ghira's orders, and both girls seem to have their own strategies for handling his condescending way of laying out his opinions. Cin, Shiv, and I remained together and bounced ideas off of each other as we tried to convince Adam to return to Vacuo, but it was eventually Blake who managed to finally change his mind. There's something going on between the two of them, but I don't think it's romantic- it's more of an unspoken understanding, an invisible bond that I doubt could be successfully explained to outsiders. It was a mention of her mother that finally swayed Adam, though I don't understand what exactly she was talking about. It all ended rather quickly, with Adam walking out of the central tent and readying a transport almost immediately. I'll have to ask Blake about what really happened there later.

Speaking of Blake's mother, we met her the following day. The best way I can describe Kali Belladonna is by saying that if you've ever been in the situation where you met a friend's new significant other, and only been able to say that they're "a lot" when asked what you think of them? That's Kali. She's "a lot."

I don't mean any of that in a negative way- she's just the stark opposite of Adam in every way conceivable. Kali is loud, boisterous, full of energy, and wears her emotions on her sleeves. In some ways, I feel as though she and Blake somehow magically switched ages. Her enthusiasm and free-spirited nature is infectious and endearing, and her very presence seems to rally the men of the camp in ways I didn't think possible. Her fatal flaw at the moment seems to be that she isn't around much and is instead working on something outside of the camp. When asked, she dodges the question. Honestly, I'm not sure that I really want to know, if it shatters the illusion that someone here is still clinging to actual hope. I need to speak with her more, though the somewhat predatory looks she offers me are concerning. Then again, she also offers them to Shiv, and she's married, so I doubt it is any sort of real lustful threat.

Speaking of lustful threats, I suppose I can't realistically dance around the reality of our arrival in the camp much longer. The first person waiting at the gate to greet us was Sienna Khan.

Accusations against me came from her immediately, and if looks could kill, I would be dead. I had a list of counterpoints building in my mind as she went off about how I abandoned her for her involvement with Pewter Road, only to end up here amongst harder criminals. Some part of me was ready to stand my ground and shout right back at her, but a larger part simply stood there and took the abuse. I guess there's still something there between us that's holding me back, as much as I hate to admit it. Looking at her again, I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to try to fix things, and just let her say what she wanted to say. Maybe that makes me weak, pathetic, or unable to move on, but at least I can admit that it's true. I was too busy feeling awful to really tell what those around me were thinking, but I did see that Shiv looked rather angry for some reason throughout the spectacle. Cin's reaction was one that I couldn't really ignore.

Sienna's attack on me lasted all of about a minute or two before Cin stepped in- quite literally, in front of me. Before that moment, I had yet to see her really use the force of her personality in a businesslike way. Most of her interactions with lesser members of the Fang in front of me have gone the same way- she offers a cold glare, a stern, judgmental tone, and she uses some of the same tactics that Adam does to appear above whoever she's speaking to. This was entirely different- it was like every bit of venom in her body managed to concentrate upon her tongue, and she took Sienna to task in a way that left my former flame reeling and embarrassed enough to retreat into the camp. I don't really remember much of what was said, as I was on the verge of having a panic attack throughout the event, but I do remember that Sienna told her this "wasn't over." Even Blake and Ilia seemed taken aback by the intensity with which Cin reacted to Sienna, though Shiv seemed more like he had seen it all before. I get the distinct feeling that he has.

The following night was an uncomfortable one. Cin and I share Adam's former tent, now, while Blake and Ilia have taken one of their own. Shiv is… somewhere, I would assume. I spent the majority of the night talking to Cin in low whispers about Sienna and trying to talk her down from causing another scene, since Sienna apparently plans to remain here. We need to find a way to get her to go back to Vacuo, or I may not be able to function. I could also just man up, confront her myself, and deal with whatever these feelings that I have are, but let's be realistic- that isn't going to happen, anytime soon. Cin actually advised me against doing so and told me that I have every right to feel the way I do. I'm not sure I agree with her, but it is indeed a comforting excuse, so I'll take it. I'm beginning to think I may, in fact, be an asshole.

The layout and logistics of the camp, as well as our plan moving forward are things that I honestly don't have the energy to get into, right now. I'll put pen to paper again tomorrow and record it all for posterity, but for now, I'm mentally and emotionally drained, even days after our arrival and seeing Sienna again. I need to figure out what to do with myself, before I can figure out what to do with these people. It isn't going to be easy.

Author's Note:

Dai's entries will likely be on the shorter side on average from here on, simply because of the shift in tone and his mental state. Expect more soon… as well as the return of What You Stole.

-RD