The gate closed with a soft click behind him, and he winced as though the sound itself would wake the inhabitants in the villa before him, he went still as though to listen for any movement to indicate they had heard, and when there was nothing but silence he breathed a sigh of relief and stepped forward.
Moon light guided him up the stone path to the grand porch of the villa, he peeked inside the entrance, looking from one side to the other for any sort of witness to his being there, but he was alone. They had all turned in for the night, the only light coming from the moon and stars above, and the small flickering of an oil lamp from a cracked door down the hall.
He opened the door to the villa and stepped inside, minding the door as he closed it, making sure that there was not even a creak as he did. He padded across the great sitting room, passed the table that held the well-used candles and a few mugs of cooling liquids, he stepped into the hall with caution.
The first door was to the Morningstar's room, where him and his friend would sneak to during the stormy nights when the villa had been abandoned by the other archangels, he heard the soft snoring come from the slight crack in the door. Peeking in silently, he could see the two figures on the bed, one stretched out on their back, and the other curled up like a tiny kitten upon their chest. He smiled at the sight of them, stepping away from the door to leave them to their sleep, and padded to the next.
His second stop was outside the Messengers room, he opened the door a crack, spotting his master sprawled on his back, one arm hanging off the side of his bed, snoring as loud as a lion. Parchments and pages littered nearly his entire room, evidence of his bringing duties home with him, and he bit back a soft snort at the boots that had be haphazardly kicked off on a path towards where he lay sprawled out in peaceful bliss. Closing the door behind him, he continued on, stepping silently across the warm wooden floor, stopping in front of the cracked door with the flickering candle casting a warm glow down the hall.
At the end of the hall was the Prince's room, his door was closed, as it usually was during these secret nightly trips. His sword would be leaning against the small table situated on the right corner of his bed. He slept in a ball, curled in on himself, as silent as the night around him.
He stepped forward slightly, to peer into the one room in the villa that contained the occupant that remained awake to the slumbering world around them, and the board under his foot creaked lightly. It wasn't loud in the slightest, but the silence that encompassed them was void of any noise, thus the creak sounded as though it were a trumpets toot.
He cringed at the creak of a chair respond to his careless movement, the soft sounds of someone walking across the room, and he debated on whether or not he should turn and bolt while he still had the ch-.
"Zaves?"
The door was open now, the warm glow of the candles on the grand oak desk pushed up against the window spilled out into the hall, and he blinked at the sudden brightness, scrunching up slightly.
"Hey…" he looked up sheepishly, at being caught of course, to meet the amused and concerned gaze of his old guardian "Good night, Raph?"
"It has been pleasant." He tilted his head to the side, "Can you say the same?"
"It's been good." The young messenger nodded as if he were trying to convince even himself of that obvious falsehood.
"Zaveriel."
He flinched at that tone, the Healer had never condoned lying, never had and most certainly never will. Though he had long been out from under his immediate care, the messenger still ducked under the light scolding tone that was used, looking to the floor.
"Can I…uhhh….Can I come in?"
The Healer stepped aside, motioning with his free hand for him to enter, and the messenger ducked under the arm that held the door open, stepping into the warm room of the Healer. It smelled like lavender and mint, smelled like the Healer himself, and it comforted him in ways that were hard to come by in these days. Some nights were good and some nights were bad. This one was on the unfortunate side. The door was closed behind him, back to its previously cracked position, and the elder turned with his arms crossed loosely over his chest.
"Now, we are blanketed in privacy, can we try for the truth?"
Zaveriel rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly, regretting that he had not turned and bolted when he had the chance to, and he looked down to his feet again in shame for what he was about to ask. He had not been a fledgling in a long while now, and to ask for such a thing was unheard of, he was Captain of the Principalities for Dad's sake, he should have just swallowed the feeling and desire and turned to his other side in his bed.
"Did….Did I interrupt something?"
The archangel gestured to his desk, "Notes. Nothing important." He tapped the fingers of his right hand over his left arm, "I answered your question, can you return the favor?"
His face heated in shame, and he covered the redness with his hands, curling in on himself and throwing his head back at the same time.
"Gosh, Raph, this is hard enough as it is!"
"What is 'hard enough'?" he heard him adjust his position, he knew that the archangel was leaning forward, only slightly, eyes watching him intently, "Just ask what you came to ask, I can see the question shining in your eyes, when you don't hide them from me."
"CanIsleepwithyou?"
He peeked out between his middle and ring finger to see the reaction he had gained for such a ridiculous request, the only thing that he got was a raised eyebrow "Can you try again but with a bit less speed?"
"Ugh." The messenger threw his head back again, a moment of silence passed between them, and he tilted it back to his feet again "Can I…. Can I sleep with you?"
Zaveriel waited for the rejection, he was too old to ask such things, the Healer wasn't even his master anymore, and he hadn't been his guardian for centuries and centuries. He was going to be denied and sent back to the dark room he had left behind. Warm fingers curled around his, pulling his hands away from his face, and he met the gaze of soft electric blue eyes.
The Healer smiled down to him "Yes, of course you can stay with me." He felt relief wash over him like rainwater from above, and he gave a small smile at the invitation that was inline with his desire. "But, if I may ask, why not go to my brother?" he tilted his head slightly "He would never deny such a request. He adores you much too much to."
"Because he doesn't hum."
"He doesn't hum?"
Zaves nodded, feeling his face heat up again, and he averted his gaze slightly to the side of the Healer's head, looking intently at his ear instead.
"No. You hum and…and it makes me feel better."
"I didn't know you liked my humming so much, I'm flattered."
A hand pat his cheek softly, pulling him from his staring at the Healer's ear, turning back to look into those soft eyes that always managed to make him feel better.
"Of course, you may sleep with me." He gestured to his bed, with soft pillows and warm blankets that smelled like him, Zaves followed his gesture closely "I have a few things to finish up before I join you, but make yourself comfortable, I am here if you need me." The messenger nodded, thanking him softly under his breath, and trotted to curl among the blankets that smelled like the one who he trusted most. He trusted his master, of course he did, but his old guardian had never abandoned him.
There was still some trust to be regained between him and the Messenger.
He watched from under the blanket as the Healer shook his head fondly, returning to his desk to finish the notes he had been working on, the soft scratching of a quill on parchment filled the silence, the soft crackle of the candles echoed softly, and he closed his eyes for only a moment.
The bed dipped, and it woke him up, the blankets moved slightly and an arm curled around his shoulders. Yawning, the messenger curled around the Healer, resting his head in the crook of his arm, he gave a soft exhale. Fingers rubbed at his shoulder, and he sank in deeper, letting the tension fall away to the skilled nimble fingers of his old guardian.
"What brought you to me, little hummingbird?"
He smiled sleepily at the nickname, a pet name from his fledglinghood, it felt good to hear it again. But he turned his head inward, not wanting to admit his weakness, after all, he was a Captain. But those fingers dug into a particularly stubborn knot in his shoulder and he sighed on comfort.
"I didn't want to be alone."
"You are never alone."
Zaves blinked into the darkness, the on comfort being the arm he was wrapped up in, the warmth of the side he was curled around, the solidness of the crook of the arm he laid his head against.
"I'm scared of the dark."
"You were never frightened of the dark before, what happened to you, to cause such fear."
He swallowed, burrowing in closer, and the arm around him tightened its hold in assurance. It was not a subject that was talked about much, at any time, not even with the Messenger. He preferred for it to be forgotten, out of sight and out of mind, but sometimes it would rear its ugly head again and make him feel as frightened as a fledgling, something he hadn't been for quite some time.
"When I was…..My stay in the….The Prisons." He swallowed again, wrapping his arm around to rest on top of the Healer's chest, fingers curling into the light tunic he wore, and long nimble fingers curled over top of his hand in assurance "I fought back once, you know, like I'm wont to do because I'm badass." The Healer gave a light breathy chuckle, but didn't interrupt or cut in, letting him get this weight from his chest "They….uhh…..they locked me in this cell. It was small and cold and so dark. I couldn't see anything, not even my hand right before my eyes, and it felt like the walls were getting closer and closer. Sometimes I'd think I'd see something moving around me. It was…It was scary, Rapha, and I can't…I can't forget! I want to forget!"
He felt lips press to the side of his head for a long moment, as though he was trying to give him strength in a single intimate gesture, and it was a long moment before they were pulled away.
"You will never forget what you endured." The arm tugged him closer, until his head joined the hand that clutched at the Healer's tunic, resting comfortably on his chest, and a large hand pet the side of his head, brushing long nimble fingers through his hair, tucking strands behind his ear lightly "But, you overcame it. I would take the memories, take the fright, take it all from you if I thought it would help you, and you know I would." The messenger nodded against the chest under his head, if there was one who could do all of that, it would be the Healer "But I know that it will not. Taking away the hurt would not help you in any way. You are built stronger by what you live through. You are one of the strongest I know, far more so then I could ever hope to be."
Zave's shook his head "There's no way I could be stronger then you."
"But you are, my little hummingbird, in so many ways." Again warm lips pressed to the side of his head, "So much stronger than I can hope to be. You were not left unscathed by The Fall, I don't think any of us truly were, and the ensuing war that followed, it broke you down in so many different ways, you lost your master and it is my brothers greatest regret, you were forced to take charge of a flock at such a young age, a flock that you watched get torn apart by blind hands. And through all of that, you remained as you are, still so true to the heart that you follow. You were pushed to your very limits, and perhaps passed them, but you did not let it change who you are."
"Am I still me though?" he licked his lips, "I don't feel like me sometimes."
"I would be surprised if you didn't. What you overcame is not something the most of us can say they've overcome. You bare scars of your trials. But they are only skin deep, none, no matter how strong they may be, can change who you are." He touched a finger over his own chest, to where his grace beat like a heart, "This is who you are. The lighthearted messenger who uses his old guardian as the butt of many of their jokes and pranks. The mischievous angel who can be more trouble then he is worth at sometimes. And the young one that loves with all his being." He sighed softly "It is more than most can say."
"You're still you too."
"I wasn't for quite some time, though, was I?"
Zaves stared ahead in the darkness, not sure how he should respond to that, for it was true. His old guardian, whom he still came to when things got too rough for him, came for comfort and advice and so much more, had once turned his back on him. Calling him a traitor, he'd even said he'd disowned him from his charge, and it had cut him completely through. It had nearly destroyed him. To have his last pillar of safety torn from him so cruelly. It was not long after that, that he had thrown himself recklessly into battle, and then ended up in the Prisons for refusing orders to capture the fledglings that were spotted for the Prisons themselves.
It was the Healer who found him in the garden, head in his hands, as the memories continued flowing in like water through a river. Cautious, unsure on if he still had the privilege of being at his side after what he had done and said, but had thrown the unsureness to the wind when he'd looked up to him with tearstained eyes.
"But you're back now." That worked, he thought to himself.
"I am." He smiled when fingers scratched lightly at his neck, just behind his ear, "And I'm not going anywhere again, I should have never left any of you." A finger tapped on his neck "Most of all, I should not have left you, I should not have had favorites among my charges, but you were mine."
"Don't tell Gabe.", he looked up, and though the room was dark, he knew that their eyes had met "But you're my favorite too."
There was a soft, deep, chuckle and the free hand uncurled from his fingers for a moment to push his head back down, before returning to their previous position.
"Go to sleep, little hummingbird." The blankets pulled up to his chin, the arm curling around him a bit more securely, and another kiss is pressed to his forehead "I've got you."
"Will you groom my wings tomorrow?"
Another breathy chuckle, it came as a bit of a purr though, as he hummed deeply in his chest "Yes, I will groom your wings."
Zaves smiled to himself, settling down again for sleep, comforted by the fingers scratching lightly at the side of his head and the gentle rise and fall of the chest under him. The dark was still there, but it wasn't as drowning, it was just there.