(Violet's Pov)
I looked at Clementine as we joked a bit about random things as she laid in her bed. When AJ was pushing her in a wheelbarrow walker guts covering her and her leg missing, I won't say I wasn't terrified she looked like she was knocking on deaths door at that point.
"So uh…. I found a guitar." I say and she looks to me.
"You play?" She asked and I nod a bit.
"Yea… my grandpa played the guitar and I asked for him to teach me." I say to her and she looked to me. I smile at her a bit more and hold her hand a bit.
"Can you play a song for me?" She asked and I look at her and think.
"I'll do you one better, I'm going to write a song for you… and you can name it too, how about that?" I asked and she smiles and nods at this and I chuckled a bit.
"Alright, I'll start on it tonight? And once Ruby says your leg is better and such then I'll sing it to you outside." I say and she nods and smiles at this.
"That sounds amazing." She says and I kiss her gently and she kissed me back. I smile at her as she smiles back at me. I chuckle as I get up just as AJ walks in and I smile at him.
"You're on Clementine watch." I say and he nods as I move and watch him as he sits in the chair and shows Clementine his new drawings. I watch them a bit and then head out and talk with the others about what we have to do next for food and working on the wall. I watch as Ruby heads inside to check on Clementine and we all had done enough working today to have a break. I go and grab the guitar that Louis and I had found a while back and I strum on the strings just a bit. I had grabbed a notebook of paper and a pencil and I opened it up and thought a bit and I wrote some notes down.
"So you gonna play a song for us?" Louis asked as he sits next to me and I shake my head and shove him a bit.
"No…. I'm gonna make a song for Clementine." I say and I think a bit and look to him.
"And she's going to name it too…. And once she's better I'll play it for her… under the stars." I say silently and strum the guitar strings again and I smile as I just continue to write and play from time to time. It wasn't long till I looked at Ruby who walked out from the dorms and she looked to me and waved me over. I go over to her and she looked at me.
"Um.. we need to get more medicine she started to get a fever and she has an infection in her uh… stump." She says to me and I nod.
"Just give her what we have right now and tomorrow I'll go with Louis to the town and find any medicine, and other things." I say and look to the dorms.
"She's gonna be ok though right?" I asked.
"Of course just need to get the medicine and she'll be fine." She says and I nod as I look to her.
"Alright… will do." I say and she goes over to Aasim. I decided to head to bed early and get a good head start on tomorrow. I woke up early in the morning and headed over to Louis's room and knocked on his door. He opened it and looked at me.
"Come on we got to head into town." I say and he nods as he grabs his chair leg and we began to walk off school grounds. I had my bow and arrow in hand as I looked for any walkers that might try to grab any of us for a free meal but I also talked with Louis.
"So how much of your song did you get done?" He asked.
"About a quarter of the way done, I hope she likes it." I respond.
"Trust me Clementine is gonna love it, you know why?" He asked and I look at him.
"Because you made it for her." He says and I smile as we walk more.
"Thanks." I say.
"No problem, besides my piano skills didn't win her over." He says and I shove him.
"Which time? When you first met or…. Before the boat?" I asked.
"Neither, but when she went with you that night I knew she chose a good person." He says and I look at him.
"Lou."
"It's fine." He says.
"I…. I'm sorry…. I didn't mean to… it's hard to explain." I mumbled.
"Oh?" He asked and I sigh.
"After the…. After the raiders boat exploded and… we all got separated…. I honestly thought she was gone… and I told her I didn't know what I'd do if she was….. with Minnie I just cried and pushed everyone away but with Clementine…. If anything happened to her, I have no clue what I would do in any form." I say as I looked to him.
"You wouldn't try to hurt yourself at least….. right?" He asked.
"That's the thing, I have no clue what I would do, I wouldn't want to hurt myself….. I don't know." I mumbled.
"Clementine will be fine, Ruby said she just needed medicine for her fever, she'll be good as new after that and a few weeks of bed rest." He says and I nod. We finally get to the town and we do find some medicine and more bandages which was great luck for us.
"Awesome, now we just head on back and get your girl better." Louis says and I nod as we start walking back. I would look around for walkers and the same with Louis, we only had to get a few walkers but not many.
"Right so once you serenade Clementine with your lovely song, will you sing it to us?" He asked and I look at him.
"Maybe, if Clementine says it's ok." I tell him and he nods. We finally get to the school and I look to see AJ sad so I go up to him.
"Hey buddy what's got you down?" I asked but he didn't say anything to me and I look at him more.
"You ok?" I asked and he looked to me. His eyes were a bit red like he was crying.
"Hey did you get hurt or what?" I asked him and he shrugged.
"I… I did but… not physically." He says and I look at him.
"Emotional?" I asked and he nods.
"Can you tell me?" I asked and he shook his head no.
"Do you want to tell Clementine?" I asked and he shook his head no.
"It…. it's Clementine." He said and I look at him.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"She….." he then went quiet and I look to him then looked to Ruby who was leaving the dorm rooms and I look back to AJ and then to her and I quickly got up and went over to her.
"What's going on with Clementine?" I asked and she looked to me.
"Vi…. The… the fever….. she…. Um." She tried to say and I looked to the dorms.
"Vi… AJ blames himself because…." She tried to say.
"Just tell me what the fuck is going on." I say and she looked to me scared.
"Clementine died." She says and I look at her.
"No….. that…. you're lying." I say and start walking to the dorm but I felt a hand grab my wrist and I pulled it back.
"YOU'RE LYING SHE ISN'T DEAD!" I yelled and she looked to me.
"Vi, I know it's hard but calm down…. Think of AJ right now." She says and I look at him then back to her.
"What…. Did she say anything? Was she…. How?" I asked sadly and she took me over to where AJ was and we both sat down and I look at him as he just looks at a blank sheet of paper.
"AJ…." Ruby says.
"It's my fault isn't it?" He asked and I look at him.
"How?" I asked gently and I saw tear drops drip on the paper.
"The axe was bloody and…. And I forgot that it was used on walkers with Minnie and…. And I used it to cut her leg." He cried and I look at him sadly as he cried more. I hold back my tears and I pull him to me in a hug as I rubbed his back gently to calm him down.
"It's all my fault." He cried and I rub his back more.
"I…. it's ok AJ…. it's ok." I say to him. Or was I saying it more to myself at this point. I don't know.
"It's not ok…. I should have known better." He says and I look at him face to face and wipe away his tears.
"AJ…. you're just a kid… you… people make mistakes…. And that's ok… Clementine wasn't and will never be mad at you." I say.
"She should be, she died because of me it's my fault…. She trusted me to make the tough calls and I failed her." He cried and I hugged him again. I swayed him gently side to side and rubbed his back more.
"You didn't fail her." I keep telling him. He finally cried himself to sleep and I look to Ruby a bit.
"I'm… gonna put him in my room….. what uh… did you do to Clementine?" I asked.
"She's still in the room, we were going to." Ruby says silently and I look at AJ then to her again.
"You…. weren't going to tell me till after?" I asked.
"We didn't want you to see her…. Like that…. She didn't want you to see her like that." She says.
"Is that what she said?" I asked and Ruby nods and I nod as I pick AJ up and take him to my room. I lay him in my bed and covered him up with a blanket and I waited in the desk chair that all rooms had. And I waited and waited and waited. Till an hour passed and I hear a soft knock on the door and I look to see Louis as he opened the door.
"I…. I heard….and I'm so sorry." He says and I nod and I look at AJ. I had a finger covering my lips a bit as I looked down and then back to him.
"We…. Funeral?" I asked.
"We already buried her…. You uh…. You wanna say a few words?" He asked and I nod a bit.
"I'll take AJ later tonight after we finish…. He needs time to rest." I say and I stand up and walk past Louis and out the door. I head outside but I don't make it to the grave. I stopped at the dorm entrance and I just froze at this.
"Vi you don't have to… I think she'd understand completely if you waited a bit to just get your emotions together." Louis says and I think and I nod a bit at this.
"I um… I uh." I look at the graveyard and I shake my head a bit and I go back to my room. I lay on the other bed. And I just sleep.
-Two Weeks Later-
I grabbed my guitar and I went to the graveyard after dinner with everyone. I looked at Clementine's cross for the first time since the day she passed. I slowly sit on the ground in front of her grave and I set the guitar down next to me and my notebook on top of it. I look at her grave and then to my lap a bit.
"Hi…. I'm... Clementine…. it's uh, it's been a while since we last talked. You uh…. We joked about how I was going to get a house of our own once the walkers were gone." I say and chuckled sadly then I look at the grave again.
"I uh…. I finished the song for you…. Um…. I know you can't tell me what you wanted to call it…. I uh wanted to call it Clementine but you uh, there's kinda already a song with your name in it." I joked and laughed sadly at this.
"Louis would have a field day if I asked him to name it….. probably would have called it 'Th fruit of Violets eye.' Or something like that." I say silently and then looked to the cross with her name on it.
"AJ blamed….. well still blames himself for what happened to you…. I know it was an accident, he…. he's just a child Clem and he is putting himself down and he blames himself every day…. Just cause you told him he could make choices…. I'm… I'm not saying you were wrong…. God I'm being a fucking idiot."
"I'm not saying you're to blame cause you aren't he just…. Thinks he's got so much responsibility and he's just a kid…. He cries himself to sleep…. He misses you so much and we're all trying…. I'm trying and I think." I say silently and look down.
"I don't think I'm doing a good job I feel like I'm failing you now. With AJ…. He won't talk to me like he use to…. I guess he uh I guess he doesn't want to upset me or… I don't want to upset him." I tell her.
"I guess I'm just being really shitty to him…. I'm the adult here I should just ask him about this stuff and help him." I say and nod to myself and I look to the guitar and I open my notebook and I place it on the ground and then grabbed the guitar and looked at her gave. I began to strum the guitar strings a bit and I looked at the words and quietly sang to myself but loud enough for Clementine to hear.
"I wish I had something more to give you
You've been feeling bad this time of year
If I could I would drive out to see you
Things are finally looking up for me this time
Take it from me, I'd be lost without you
I try to run away, but you're running up on me faster, and I
I could barely breathe, I couldn't even turn around
I only hope we make it home
Safe and sound
Safe and sound."
"If I had a dime, for the days I've spent
Just trying to unwind, sitting on the steps
I'd buy a star in your name, like I heard on the radio
I would buy a brand new house, where we can go."
"Take it from me, I'd be lost without you
I try to run away, but you're running up on me faster, and I
I could barely breathe, I couldn't even turn around
I only hope we make it home
Safe and sound
Safe and sound."
"If I had one wish, I would give it up
To be standing here, just like this, up on the rooftop
But it's so hard to look down, when I see your face
There's no more time to spend, no time to waste." I sing and look to see Clementine and I shake my head a bit at this.
"Take it from me I'd be lost without you
I try to run away, but you're running up on me faster and I
I could barely breathe, I couldn't even turn around
I only hope we make it home
Safe and sound
Safe and sound
Safe and sound
Safe and sound." I sang and looked to see Clementine smiling at me and I cleared my throat a bit and smiled a bit.
"I'm hallucinating." I mumbled as I looked at her again and I chuckled sadly. I look at her more as I set my guitar in my lap.
"I know I'm hallucinating and everything so I might as well just go with the flow of things….. what did you think?" I asked hoping that the hallucination would answer.
"I loved it." She says and I nod a bit.
"And the name?" I asked.
"I think you should know by now what it should be called." She says and I nod a bit at this.
"Yea…. Yea I think I do." I say and look down a bit and then back up to see her looking at me. I wanted to cry but she was always gone, she was never here, she's been gone for two weeks now. Two fucking weeks she's been gone and I'm hallucinating her being here.
"I… I'm gonna…. I'm sorry for not being there when you went away… I kicked myself in the ass for not being there I should have stayed here but I thought…. I thought if I got you medicine you'd be ok…. I'm so god damn sorry…. I… I don't know if you were scared, Ruby never told me if you said anything….. I blame myself, I… I should have been here for you." I say and I wipe my tears a bit.
"I just…. I fucking…. I should have been there for you, I was a terrible girlfriend…. You saved me on that ship and this is how I fucking repay you." I say silently and mad at myself.
"I fucked up…. I fucked up real badly and I don't think you'll ever forgive me and I… I hope you don't forgive me, you should never forgive me for leaving you alone… and scared." I tell her and she just looked to me more.
"I miss you, AJ misses you, we all do…. I….. I'll talk to you again tomorrow night… I am really sorry…. I…. I'll just…. I'm sorry." I say and I get up and leave the graveyard and head back to my room and set the guitar down and look around my room a bit and I think as I go on my bed and I lay down and look up at the ceiling. And just think of Clementine.