It is part one of the series twelve finale day! I am pumped because this season has been great.
This is an old idea. I think I've had it since 2015 which is when the episode it's based on came out. It was even on a sheet of paper in my fanfic binder which I haven't used in years because I now use memo notes. Recently, I've been watching clips from The Husbands of River Song so that's what got me in the mood to finally write it. Also, I wrote it over Christmas and it was a Christmas episode so that works.
Disclaimer - I don't own these characters.
I hope you enjoy :)
You Never Say Goodbye:
River's eyes flutter open after a long night. She takes a breath, stretching her back and arms as she turns over. The spot beside her is empty and cold, neatly made as if nobody was ever there and she stayed in the same spot the whole night. But that's not true. The Doctor was there. Right?
"Doctor?" River calls.
She gets out of bed, sitting over the edge to put on her slippers. River slips on her silk robe that hangs on the bed frame's post.
"Doctor," River calls again. This time, it sounds more like a command than an inquiry.
River walks by the window where a small pleasant breakfast sits on a tray on a glass side table. She takes a seat, crossing one leg over the other as she pours herself some tea from the kettle. It steams as the cup fills up to the rim. The smoke gives her the hint that this tea is fresh.
Beside her small bowl of fruit, she sees her journal. Smiling, River picks it up to read what she and The Doctor did last night. River skims the last words before noticing that she's nearly out of pages. She leafs through her journal to see if she skipped a page but they're full of her cursive and drawings.
Her heart drops as she loses her appetite. The Doctor gave her this journal and he knows how many pages a person should get. Although River knew Darilium was their last time she would be with The Doctor, they had twenty-four years. Their night couldn't be over now, could it?
It had to be. The Doctor wasn't here. He knew their night was over so he left because he doesn't like goodbyes. She thought tonight would've been different, but that's the naive lovestruck girl in her.
A small ding distracts her. River hears the communicator from her bag and pulls it out. Wiping the screen with her sleeve, she sees a message about an upcoming and urgent mission in the 51st century involving an abandoned library and disappeared visitors.
Sighing, River scribbles a confirmation message for the mission before sending another for The Doctor. Hopefully, she'll see him there.
Darilium may have been their last night for him, but she'll still run into him. She fears it'll be the day he won't know who she is. A single tear rolls down her cheek. She wishes that he will be there or he was here or that they were anywhere together. They loved each other but never at the same time except for last night.
Their last night.
"Professor Song?"
River wipes her cheek before turning around to see Nardole at her door.
"Going somewhere today?" Nardole asks. "Checking out?"
River exhales sharply, slowly nodding to confirm her status. "Duty calls."
"And the Doctor?"
"He called duty."
Nardole nods, understanding. "Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay at The Singing Towers."
River smiles genuinely. Her heart swells and swirls like the writing on her pages. The night that consisted of years with eternal love will leave a hole in their chests that nothing will ever fill. It's like they met in a dream but the feelings are real.
"Shall I give a message to The Doctor should he return?" Nardole asks.
"He isn't coming back," River responds sadly. "He never says goodbye."
"So, no message?"
River is about to say no but she stops herself. She thinks about how The Doctor isolated himself, almost gave up after Amy and Rory died. He doesn't like goodbyes and River can't imagine what will happen to him now.
River quickly grabs her journal and uses whatever space she has left to write him a message. She could write a thousand words; all the stars could align; the Singing Towers could harmonize, but what's the point of all their love if he reads it at the wrong time? She could write that she loves him but he knows that so what good will that do.
The Doctor's on her mind and it hurts. It's just not their time anymore.
Once she dots her final sentence, she closes her journal and holds it to her chest.
"Nardole, I'm going to leave you a time and place to pick up this book," River states. "After that, I want you to find The Doctor, the one who was here with me after he was here. Find him and stay by his side at all times. Watch over him and make sure he doesn't travel alone."
At the sound of an order, Nardole straightens his back. He salutes which makes River smile.
"Yes, Madame," Nardole says. "Anything I should tell him like, perhaps, an I love you?"
River considers it for a second because she would love to watch that. "Tell him that I have given you full permission to kick his ass."
I don't care about past and future pairings for The Doctor because The Doctor and River will always have my heart.
Thank you to everyone who read this story! I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought. If you have a story idea that you want me to write or have a story you want me to beta, don't be afraid to ask!
~ MysteryGal5