Chapter 12: Assumptions
Jelamet's hands shake as she gathers up our empty teacups and barren kettle. The ceramic clinks together from her grip and I go to her, abandoning my attempt at folding the blanket she had used during Meliodas' visit. With a swoop, I take the tray from her and the mobile half of her face matches her other to complete her scowl.
"I'll get the door for you, dear," Jelamet forces out and I choke back my giggle at her surly tone but barks of my laughter escapes with each step across my sitting room. She side-eyes me until we reach the hall and sighs through her frustration. "He is a good man." I know right away she means Meliodas.
"Yeah." I answer, but she continues at a mumble, "Of course, I think he's wasting his opportunities but what does an old lady like me know?" I ignore her, used to her ramblings while thinking of Meliodas and I's parting. I lick my lips, tasting him there and I grow warm. At the gate he had been expectant again, looking up at me with wide green eyes. After I grazed my lips with his, his eyes had turned onyx but he kept them open and watched me bend to him. He left with a smile and now that I faced a few days without him I find myself... missing him. I think about him often enough and when the urge to see him rises too fiercely I go to my pile of packages to open one of the gifts he sent over the years. It helps pass the time while I wait for my life to begin.
We are in the side hall, walking at Jelamet's pace when she halts. "Did you hear that door shut?" I turn to my elderly companion but her brows are pinched and she looks to me seemingly as confused. The door in question, the one she steps nearer, I haven't seen open since I was a child. "We haven't had need of the dungeons in years," I hush, acting as if we are sneaking but Jelamet nods and creeps along. When we reach the door she twists the knob but it doesn't turn.
"Locked," Jelamet mutters before she raises her fist and knocks firmly. "Open up, I saw you go in there!" she calls out, then she pauses to listen. I hold the tea tray steady while we wait for an answer but none comes. After a moment she shrugs and moseys along. I follow, frowning but letting it pass, thinking someone must have been sent down to clean up the old place. Perhaps it is on rotation today and I avoid the fear that trickles in about my dearest companion.
After we have everything clean and back in its proper place, I only have an hour before dinner. Our tea visits last for as long as Meliodas can stretch them, today has been no different, and butterflies erupt in my tummy just as Mael finds me in the hall and starts his guarding. He follows me, which drives the pleasant feeling away. He waves when I glance over and then nudges his head to get my attention when I give a double-take. Mael's trying to tell me something but I don't give in. I walk Jelamet to her room as she's at her limit and I shut her bedroom door before Mael follows us in.
I help her dress and tuck her into bed but as I turn to go she grabs my hand. "Ellie, read that book on your nightstand." Her brow is sweaty and I take the rag draped over the water bowl on her side table to dab at it. She's warm through the fabric. I spark my healing glow and her brow relaxes as her grip of my hand slackens, before falling.
My heart races and my lungs struggle. Jelamet is fading and without her, I am not sure what I will do. Nothing good will be left here if she's gone and I bend, pressing my lips to her forehead before I clean up around her. When things are in order, I take the bowl with the rag and I exit her room to refill and refresh it, pricks of tears stinging in my eyes.
"Elizabeth!" Mael calls as I purposely ignore him on my way passed. "A letter came for you when you were with your visitor." I stop, turning back confused. Only Meliodas writes to me. He fumbles with his satchel before pulling out a pearl-pink envelope addressed to me, which he steps closer to extend it before my eyes. I accept it, dazed as I mutter my thanks. With the bowl of water balanced in one arm, I flip the envelope over but it just shimmers in the light, nothing else is written. I don't even recognize the looping font.
I tuck the thing under my arm and finish my task for Jelamet. No one is in the kitchen when I enter so I am alone with Mael as he follows me. "No one is going to abduct me in my own home. People don't even know I exist," I hiss as I add Hibiscus and cucumber to Jelamet's healing water, giving it a zap of health which sparks a glow in the swirling liquid.
"Mayhaps," Mael gruffs, actually responding. That is more than any of my other guards give me and although I still bristle internally, I think I've reached an impasse with Mael. I return to Jelamet's room, arrange the rag over her head and leave the bowl by her bedside. To her sleeping face, I whisper, "I'll come back after I read this and eat. I'll take my dinner in here, we can eat together if you are up."
On my way up, I look for Jennah or Zaneri to tell them where I will be taking my dinner but every place I go is empty. Even with Mael at my back, I feel alone and I miss Meliodas. He was here hours ago but the absence of him now feels like a gap inside is widening. I'm hollowing and I feel uncomfortable here. I frown. Dad is gone, he left as soon as Meliodas had for the temples, seemingly on business but I hope he connects with Margaret and gets to know Gilthunder while visiting.
Is his absence part of the problem? I shake, knowing it's Jelamet's health and being alone in this big empty castle that's affecting me. Getting to know Meliodas is one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me and yet the feelings he's stirring are troubling. Not only the warmth that floods my body when I think of our kisses or his dark gaze but the longing and overwhelming uncertainty of how he feels is stifling.
In my rooms, I close my study's door behind me but through the crack, I see Mael rest his back against the wall beside it, unphased. He is used to his role by now but I can't seem to settle into having guards around. I've seen them as gatekeepers preventing me from leaving for so long I can't view them in any other way. 'Protectors' do not fit in the box I've put them in. Still, I take a breath to ease my building tension and make my way to my desk. I sit, trying to get Meliodas out of my head as I look over the pearlesque envelope once more.
With a few tugs at the glued down fold, I pry up the paper and maneuver out a letter on fine, thick paper. I skip the entire body of the text to read the signature and my heart races. Gelda? She is my older sister's best friend or was back in the day, and I had known her as a child too but never have we corresponded. It's too long to be a 'thank you for attending' letter.
I read it, then read it again as I try to decipher through the formality of what she is truly wanting. The hints that I find most alarming are, 'I would love some advice on the mixed-species relationship', and then again when she wrote, 'If there is a way to handle the demon-instinct please help me do the same.' This confuses me but I gather my own fancy paper and invite her to tea, after dinner to accommodate for her night inclination with a little note about staying the day like old times if she does not wish to travel after coming so far.
The date I give is two days following my return from Megadozer but given the time it takes to deliver these letters, I need this out today. Still, I pull out another page to write another letter while Gelda's ink dries. There is a chance this will reach him before we leave and I do have the gold for a rush delivery but without Mead I'll just use the castle's couriers.
I actually let my feelings take over and I ramble about how I'm affected by him in the lightest way I can express. I try to explain what it is like in my life and how I finally have something to look forward to. That I wish marriage wouldn't be my means to accomplish that. I have dreams but that I am so stuck where I am that it is seemingly my only escape. I flush reading it over, adding at the end that the freedom he allows me and how safe I feel with him are gifts worth more than anything I've ever been given before. Then, I end on my worry about Jelamet and how utterly lost I will be without her. That she is the only person I love with everything I have.
I fold up and address the envelopes. I go to my room to grab the Demon Culture book off my end table, wondering if Jelamet had meant one of the other books I had there as this one is rather boring. Still, I want to finish it. I am careful to send the right letter to the right place through the castle's carriers and after talking to Zenari, I take my dinner in Jelamet's room. She looks peaceful but I still drip the healing water to her forehead to fortify the old woman.
"Please be okay," I tell her. Tears filling my eyes but not falling as I know how tough she is.
︵‿︵‿୨ ୧‿︵‿︵
The next evening Jelamet woke long enough to scold me for mourning, to get on with my life and, "for the love of all that is holy, you better be packing for your trip! Don't postpone your life for me." So now, I lay looking at my ceiling after my bath, where I didn't splash around as I didn't have the need for it, wishing I could sleep. I frown, thinking of Jelamet having not eaten more than a few bites when I took dinner with her this evening.
Mael is outside my door again as his father had left with mine for the temples yesterday and they have still not returned. I expected them today and I wonder what is keeping them. My hopeful side wishes for reconciliation between Margaret and our father but more than likely it's a Lord matter once more. I hope they are not in danger which then brings me to worrying about Meliodas. He is hunting a few criminals down, the people who have been taking and killing those in a mixed species relationship.
"He'll be fine," I mutter to myself, knowing he is powerful. My eyes close, the sounds of the silent emptiness around me no comfort but the thought of my life not always being like this is nice. My mind fills with imaginings of what the demon territories will be like. Meliodas lords there so I will make my final home among his kind, but my stomach drops and my mouth dries as I think, 'unless he finds his fated one'. He is kind, so when that happens I doubt he will turn me out on my rear with nothing. Perhaps I can have my own place then, control my own life. If it happens before I have children then I will truly have no ties.
No smile graces my lips as the final thought I have is Meliodas, expression open and wide to a faceless beauty who has taken his heart so easily when it's taken us so much time to connect how we do now. Sleep is uneasy, I'm in and out, restless. So, when my window's lock snaps and I hear the metal hit the floor I'm wide-eyed. A rush of things flood my mind, how my magic has only been used to heal before, that I don't know how to alert my guards and as subtly as possible I peek over my blanket to see my window being pushed inward, the curtain stretching over top of it. A dark figure is there, I sense the barest bit of dark magic but it's being repressed, the flare fading just as quickly as it pulsed.
The figure turns to shut the window and I bolt up out of bed, my wings blooming as I fly at top speed to slam into my door. I fumble with the knob to twist it just as a hand braces it shut. A scream bubbles up but I hear a whisper, "it's me," and the terror rushes out as if he pulled the plug on my panic attack. My wings glow and as they fade, blinking out, it takes our light source, the moon only doing so much through the crack in the curtains.
"What are you... are you okay?" I reach for him, touching his cheek and he leans into it, seemingly desperate for my touch. My throat closes up and butterflies take off in my tummy but I step to him, wrapping him up in a hug and he's quick to embrace me back. He isn't okay. "Can I heal you?" I ask and he shakes his head yes before I flicker my magic once more. He sags into me, his face nuzzling into my neck and he inhales so deeply I know he's scenting me.
I read about it in the demon book I finished at Jelamet's bedside and I flush, trying to think back of all the times he's smelled me before. He groans, his arms tightening around me when a soft knock sounds on my door, then Mael's voice sounds through the wood, "Lady Elizabeth?" The knob turns and I freeze, my nerves so high my wings bloom again. A squeak escapes me but Meliodas simply leans away enough to put his hand on the door to stop it from opening for a second time. He peers to me under his brow, his eyes black and I give another start at the sight of them. He closes his lids, ever attentive, and tilts his head to indicate the door. I catch on.
"S-sorry Mael, it's fine. I just had a bad dream," I rush, sounding squeaky and I wince, stepping back and releasing Meliodas to fold my arms over myself in protection. With his eyes shut I don't know where to look and I feel awkward, looking around while trying to process the fact that he's in my room, secretly.
A boy, my intended, snuck into my bedroom.
"The same one from when you were a kid?" he asks and I flush that Mael remembers. "If you want me to hold your hand again, I will." My jaw drops and a low, breathy laugh of an exhale escapes Meliodas. "The cracking star isn't real," Mael finishes and I groan, embarrassed as I step back again. I call back to Mael, "No, I'm fine!"
Meliodas releases the door, which is the only indication I need that Mael must have backed away from it. That's when I notice the state of his clothes and gasp before my hands cover my mouth. He's in tatters, dark stains on his front and I examine down his body, his pants are ripped to be shorts, his calves down to his feet are bare and tense. I reach for him but notice the dark smear on my fingertips, then looking down at my nighty to see his dark stains had transferred to me. I had known he was hurt but to be bleeding like this?
"What happened?" I hush, reaching the rest of the way forward to touch the rip under his collar bone. My fingertip meets his warm healed flesh and I feel a soft tingle spread up my arm. I retreat, wide-eyed as I look to the door that separates us from Mael, trepidatious. In my movement he snags my hand from the air and interlaces our fingers, bringing the back of it to his lips for a kiss. His eyes open when he peers up from my hand.
"I'm stressing you, pushing you to your limit. I'm sorry," he starts. "I swear, I was only coming to make sure you were here, but the nearer I came I couldn't seem to turn back." Meliodas' grin goes crooked as he tilts his head. His other hand comes up to the back of it sheepishly, his hair shaking as he scratches softly. "I can go. You are okay, so everything is okay."
For long moments I stare into his dark eyes, realizing he came to me because he was upset, not for physical healing- but a mental one. A piece of me softens and I squeeze his hand in mine, pulling him to my bed. "You can stay, just... over the blankets," I whisper and he nods eagerly before he slows, blanking, replying flatly, "Like the vampire ball." My room is a mess but I look him over thinking he isn't exactly clean before releasing his hand as I reach the edge of my mattress. An image of him bathing and dressing in my clothes flash in my mind. I grow warm at my core but I shake my head to stop my imagining, not offering.
All his muscled flesh, wet and dripping, just a wall away in my bathroom. Nope. I'll just clean my blankets tomorrow. Yet, when I climb under the covers after hopping up on the bed, he has a solution for his bloody clothes. I watch, peeking over the edge of my comforter as he removes his shirt in a clean swoop and reaches for the ties at his pants. I squeak again and he snorts a silent laugh through his nose. "I have undershorts," he notes, but his smirk is too satisfied before he pulls the loop through and the torn pants hit my floor. It blends in with the haphazardly thrown and abandoned clothes on my floor when he kicks it away. He stands with his legs wide and his fists on his hips for a moment, posing for me to view and I stifle my nervous giggle.
"Your dad isn't home... I've snuck past all your guards and now I'm hopping into bed with you. I'd be lying if I said I haven't fantasized about this." He's easy going and rather carefree as he sits before stretching out to rest his head on the other side of my pillow. Meliodas' wide grin shows off his canines.
"You're acting more like 'Captain' today, than Meliodas," I note and he looks stricken for a moment before wincing, turning on his side to look at me. I mirror him, reaching out to tuck the blanket under my arms to free them. My tired body relaxes with his so near and shily, I dip forward. He does too, moving as if he is thinking I am going to kiss him but I tuck lower to press my nose to his bare shoulder and I sniff him.
He smells like man, he's hot against my nose and I shiver as I breathe him in. Meliodas stills, seemingly shocked. I retreat back but his hand takes my upper arm in his grip and holds me still. "Scents are important to a demon," he mutters. I nod, biting my lip as I meet his dark eyes. He blinks, his nose flaring before he lets me go, seemingly having difficulty as he pulls away and freezes up. My brow furrows, a trickle of fear shivering up my spine from some latent instinct and he shifts, laying on his back, no longer looking at me.
Quiet settles around us and I hate that his zero face returns as I focus on the profile of his face. I thought sniffing was a greeting between a couple, I must have misunderstood when I read that. Then I flush, wondering if I mixed it up with the small section on mates the book had. Jelamet's words come to me and I wonder if that's what she meant, that I should read up on how to avoid awakening his demon nature? It doesn't seem fair that he can sniff me but I can't, him.
"Will you... tell me what happened?" I whisper. I know he is still awake as his eyes glint in the moonlight, still just as dark as he has been. I want to ask him to close them but think better of it, making an effort to get used to their intensity and the night around us helps. "You were in a bad way when you snuck in," I explain, thinking with his eyes that he might still be upset.
It takes him a few deep breaths before he hushes a response. "I will if you draw me that star that you dream about," Meliodas responds. I nod, he doesn't look over but he knows my answer as he exhales before he starts. "We found a handful of those killers, the ones murdering inner-racial couples. We weren't there in time to save the latest pair but we found out about their plans. It's a small organization of radicals." He tells this to me as if he is giving a report to someone much higher up than me, rather than just talking. My tummy flips over on itself and I fold my hands together feeling as if I've offended him.
"You fought them?" I whisper and I feel him nod beside me, returning to his previous position "Did you catch any?" His lack of response tells me no. My mind goes to the thought that they were all killed but I leave it. "So, will my guards be dismissed?" I inquire and my voice goes a little high, hopeful. I bite my lip as my figurative leash loosening seems so much closer.
"Absolutely not," he hisses, his hand roams up my thigh with the blanket between us and across my hip to follow my arm to my hand, a silent question. Immediately I take his hand and our joined palms fall between us. "I rushed here because they knew your name, where you lived, the one... before I, well before she died she vowed you'd be taken as she already dispatched hunters." When I turn he's looking at me already and I twist to my side once more to smile reassuringly at him.
"I'll be okay," I tell him and his eyebrow raises.
"I'm staying here until we leave for Megadozer tomorrow. If I can sneak in, that worries me. I'm sleeping in your bed with not one of those Angels are even aware of it," he condemns with his tone but I relax, knowing it is just his skills that make this possible. Still, I nod, wiggling closer until my knees touch his, the blanket separating us.
I do feel safer with him here. "I'm glad you came," I whisper and I scoot even closer on our shared pillow to mingle our breath. He smiles softly, a hint of the Captain returning as he dips so his nose brushes mine. "You know, you can visit my kingdom for as long as you like, we can lay 'not under the same blanket' every night if you wished it," he confesses and I expect a hint of green to return but his eyes stay dark.
My guesses revolve around him coming down from such a bloody fight, but a piece of me wonders if he is worried for me. That he is here to protect me and is still strung tight. His invitation registers and my lungs cease for a moment. Father can't say no to that, not if I bring Jelamet with me! It will be amazing to get a feel for the Demon's territory. "Yes, please," I breathe, suddenly not tired now that there is something so exciting to look forward too. Megadozer tomorrow and now an extended stay with Meliodas!
"Do you have any paper in here?" he asks, not looking away, his voice is calming. I shift up, moving my elbow up under me and letting go of his hand. I had not forgotten about drawing the star. With a little wiggling, I slip out from under the covers, tapping my bare feet to the floor as I walk to my shelf. I pull out one of the notes I saved from a gift Meliodas had sent years ago and a stick of wax. My drawing skills are not the best but I make the spinning circle with the jagged lines that come out all around it.
When it's done I drop the stick next to the melting set where I found it before holding up the slip of parchment to view it myself. The marks don't show up very well, it isn't ink but I can't leave or Mael may accost me. Still, I turn with it between my fingers, intent for the bed when I flinch, shocked. He's a foot away, standing in the shadows. The paper slips from my grip and my palm raises to my heart to try and keep it from bursting from my chest as it slows to steady again.
Meliodas steps forward, his arms wrapping around me and he tucks me close, breathing in rough shallow breaths and they sound as if they rattle around in his chest. "A-are you okay?" I ask, concerned and my heart picks up its pace again as I feel his head shift from right to left in a negative answer. "Do you want to talk about it?" I press, but he gives the same jilted head shake. Rather than say anything more, I return the embrace, snuggling in deeper in an attempt to reassure him.
"Are you tired?" he whispers into my hair, "I'll lay with you if-" I shake my head and his voice fades. I won't be able to sleep with him here. "We can talk until morning," I tell him, but the only places to sit are the bed and the single-seat at my vanity. I don't have time to tell him this as Meliodas steps back and sits on the floor. "Whatever you wish. I'm just happy to be here with you," he professes and I flush, sinking to my knees before him.
I want to kiss him and I feel comfortable enough, bold enough to do so. My hands find his shoulders and he knows, his lips part in surprise before I cover the distance between us and press a soft feather-light touch of a kiss. I inch back, biting my lip as I look over his face. His eyes are still dark and when they meet mine he relaxes, a smile tugging up on half has lips. "We can kiss until morning too," he hushes and I giggle before our grinning mouths connect for a happy press of our lips, misaligned.
We kiss, languid and slow. We explore each other's mouths. The sensations are endless and Meliodas' hands grow bolder, touching down my back, across my hips, and up my ribs just barely hinting at possibly feeling more. I hardly notice the ache in my knees but Meliodas is ever attentive and grips above the pain to pull my legs to sit straddling his thighs. I settle, bending with him so our mouths do not part and his tongue enters me.
It seems so unfair, I am mostly covered except my nightgown has ridden up my legs, but he is all bare except his shorts. He's careful not to press us too close and I'm too nervous to touch him while he's in such undress. I shiver, taking my time and over an hour passes where all we do it feel one another. He doesn't complain about the extra weight on his legs, bent over the floor and grips me tighter when I try to adjust for him. When the sunlight trickles in between the curtains, he pulls away, his cheeks pink and his eyes sparkling in their blackness.
"I'll come in through the front door. I'm supposed to be picking you up today for our trip anyways," he says, but doesn't move. The tips of my fingers play with the ends of his hair at the back of his head and I lean until my forehead touches his. "That's a good idea. It may save Mael from having a heart attack, at least. If my father finds out I've had you in my room I don't want to think of what more freedoms will be stripped from me." I mean it lightly but I end up hurting my own feelings. My fingers still in their play and I wince. That's when he retreats.
He's strong as he lifts me, standing as if holding a feather and I feel like my face is burning. Did I mess up again? I clasp my own hands together and step back. After feeling so close and intimate with him I feel off kilter with us parting like this. "I'll be exceptionally careful," he vows, dead serious, and turns to go. He's angling for the window, his steps long and solid. I reach for him but with his back to me he doesn't see it and I let my arm drop when snakes of darkness leak out of him and cover his bare flesh as he opens the window.
I shiver and that's when he turns to look. I try to blank my face but I know he must have seen my expression from his dark display as he blanks too. He smiles tightly, hoping up to the frame with a solid jump and his bare feet draw my eye. They are normal among all his demon traits, the darkness shouldn't surprise me so. I worry, growing tense as he whispers, "I'll see you in a few moments then." He sounds unsure and I reply, "We can have breakfast together." Meliodas nods, brows drawn and he gives me one last long, empty look before I blink and he's gone.
As soon as he's left, I go to the window, looking around at the side of the castle and down to the greenery but I don't see anyone. Not even a goddess. My gaze lowers and I step back to shut the glass. He came in this way and without him I feel that encroaching emptiness threatening to rise up within. By my foot, I spot a dark stain on my floor. Upon inspection, I note they are clawed, large bird-like footprints, left in faded blood. I follow them, and they lead to the door but on the way there they had morphed to humanoid.
Meliodas... Did he come in with clawed feet? I knew he'd been bleeding rather badly.
I frown. "He's... always shielding me from his true self, isn't he?" I ask and my tone is the farthest from squeaky it's ever been. It makes me wonder what else he is hiding, and what he truly looks like. "Is this all a facade?" I touch my lips, thinking he even masks his true feelings, his expressions, and a fear is created at this moment. One that makes me jumpy. What if Meliodas is tricking me into loving him?
Because I'm afraid it's working!?
"What if he's putting me back together just to break me?" A knock sounds at my door and I flinch so hard I fall back on my rear and stare up at it as if it has just punched me in the throat. "Elizabeth? Are you awake?" Mael's voice calls out and I swallow down my feelings, knowing I have to trust that what Meliodas says is the truth. So far, he's been the only one in my life to be honest about everything I've ever asked. "You have a visitor. I can ask him to wait if you want to get ready for the day, he is unannounced."
I don't respond, thinking this through. It's very possible he doesn't want to scare me. He's been so careful with me thus far, of course, he'd want me to love him before he reveals his darker secrets. Meliodas is so kind to me, and I vow to never ask him to close his eyes or repress his demon side ever again. We are of different races but inside we are connected. I just know it. "Elizabeth?" Mael calls out again and I flounder. I decide a bath will be nice, so I can wrap my head around him physically changing. He's a man I just spent over an hour attached at the mouth and now I'm nervous to see him again, apprehensive. I shouldn't be.
"Invite him to breakfast. I'm going to bathe and get ready. Jelamet too please!" I call out, high pitched and only moderately panicking. He gives his affirmation but I'm already rushing to the bathroom, intending to make this fast. At least I'm already packed for our trip and slowly the fear of being alone with Meliodas fades as the sheer silliness of where my mind went is realized.
I'm dressing when I reach the point of laughing at my own emotions. I feel so much, sometimes it's hard to think. "As if that man would ever hurt me," I whisper to myself, tugging on a pair of stretch pants, finding the shirt I want that buttons up the front. When it's on and I deem myself casual enough for our trip, I pull my wet hair into an updo. "With him, I'm happy. Nothing can take that away."