Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.
A/N: Thank you to those who review, I appreciate the encouragement! =)
Harry settled himself on the sofa in his and Snape's quarters, waiting for his new lesson on Occlumency to start.
Snape stood in front of him. "How has the D.A. been?"
Harry grinned. "Really good. Everyone seems to enjoy it and they are learning a lot. Thanks for helping me with the lesson plans."
Snape nodded, pleased. "You're welcome." He crossed his arms. "Now, the Headmaster has mentioned how your scar appears to have some sort of connection with Voldemort."
Harry shivered internally at the thought of a connection of any kind with that creature.
"As Voldemort grows stronger, so could the connection and our fear is that it could be used to hurt you," Snape continued. "So you need to learn to block him out of your mind which brings us to Occlumency. It is the magical defence of the mind against anyone attempting to enter. It is an obscure branch of magic but it is highly useful. It is how I was able to spy."
"You protected your real thoughts?" Harry asked, looking interested.
"My true thoughts and emotions, yes." Snape said. "Voldemort was a legilimens; he would check his followers' thoughts often to make sure that he could trust them. I had to be prepared on a moment's notice as one never knew when he would delve into your mind."
"Sounds so dangerous," Harry murmured. "What if you had been found out?"
"I wouldn't be standing here right now," Snape said bluntly. He smiled softly at the wince Harry gave. "The reason I made a good spy was because I already was an expert Occlumens. I had no problem burying my real thoughts and making fake ones that Voldemort could see."
"It sounds difficult," Harry said. "I doubt I could do that." He sounded defeated.
"You won't know until you try," Snape pointed out. "I am not expecting you to master Occlumency right away, it will take time. The point of this is to help you clear your mind so that you are less vulnerable to Voldemort."
Harry nodded his understanding.
"When I attempt to use legilimency on you, you need to be aware that I will likely see things as you learn to block me out." Snape said carefully.
"See things?"
"I may see your childhood," Snape said gently. "When I legitimize you, the memories you most want to protect will likely be at the front of your mind. I wanted to warn you before we start."
Harry froze. Snape seeing his pathetic childhood would be bad enough, but what about the detentions with Umbridge? He couldn't let his dad see that, at least not until Umbridge left Hogwarts. He bit his lip. "All…all right," He said nervously.
"We will start slow," Snape assured him. "I would not simply invade your mind without you having an idea of what to do."
Harry relaxed. "Okay, good."
"An important part of learning to Occlude is in trusting the one teaching you," Snape said suddenly.
Harry looked at him in confusion. "I trust you Dad," He said. I trust you but I have to protect you as well, he thought. Now he just had to hide that fact from his dad. What was it he had said? Bury the memories you don't want known. Or hide them away in a cupboard like the Dursley's did me, he thought bitterly.
"When I enter your mind, I want you to make it blank, empty." Snape said as he summoned a book from his office. "You have to let go of all emotion, of anything that can be used against you. Anything that makes you happy, sad, or angry can be used against you if the wrong person learns about it." He handed Harry the book he had summoned. "Read the first two chapters and then we will continue. If you have questions, do not hesitate to ask."
Harry looked at the book, Learning to Shield Your Mind, and nodded. "Okay," He said as he settled back on the sofa and began reading.
Snape sat in an armchair, reading a potion's journal while he waited for Harry to finish his reading. He wasn't planning on doing too much for the first lesson as he didn't want to overwhelm Harry, but he did plan to enter his mind at least once so that Harry could feel what it was like.
Harry finished his reading and then he and Snape stood in the middle of the room so that Snape could enter his mind. Harry tried to remember what he had read and braced himself for the mental attack. He'd rather Snape see anything but Umbridge's detentions.
"Ready? Legilimens!"
He was being thrown against the wall by Uncle Vernon as he tried to grab his Hogwarts letter; he was seeing the Hogwarts for the first time, Aunt Petunia was glaring at him with hatred in her eyes as he cleaned the living room, Uncle Vernon was backhanding him…
Harry realized he was on his knees, gasping for breath. He hadn't been able to do anything; once the memories started all he could do was watch helplessly. Merlin, he had almost forgotten what it was like living with the Dursley's.
Snape knelt down beside him. "Are you all right?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah," Harry said glumly. "I froze; I couldn't even try to shut you out."
"It was your first try; mainly I just wanted you to feel what it was like." Snape said as he helped Harry up. "You will need to attempt to shut me out during our next lesson, however."
"I know," Harry said. "Um, did you want to try it again?" He asked nervously.
Snape shook his head. "No, this was enough for our first lesson," He said. "Take the book with you and continue reading. Also, before you go to sleep each night, I want to practice clearing your mind."
Harry nodded his understanding as he sat back down on the sofa. At least nothing showing the detentions had come up, this time anyway.
"Your uncle," Snape started to say, anger in his voice. "Well, we've already discussed how despicable your aunt and uncle are. Hitting you like that…" Snape trailed off.
Harry gave a short laugh. "That time was after I had accidently blown up Aunt Marge. I ran away after that but Fudge sent me back." There was a trace of bitterness in his voice.
"Fudge is an idiot and completely worthless," Snape practically growled. He took a moment to get his own emotions under control. Seeing the boy he considered his son treated in such a way made his blood boil. "I'm sorry that these lessons will force you to re-visit those times in your life," He said softly.
"It's – I'm okay," Harry said. He shrugged and gave a small grin. "It all worked out, my life is so much better now with new friends and everything. I have you." He said simply and sincerely.
A hint of a smile came over Snape's face. "That you do," He agreed.
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Draco and Hermione walked up to their group of friends, who were sitting near the Great Lake, both snickering.
"What's so funny?" Ron asked from where he was sitting with Lavender. For once, he didn't feel bothered by seeing Draco and Hermione together.
"We just heard that Umbridge will be inspecting the other professor's classes this week," Draco chuckled.
Harry raised an eyebrow in amusement. Oh, now this was something he wanted to see.
"Seriously?" Daphne grinned.
Ron rubbed his hands together in glee. "I think this is the first time I will be looking forward to potions class."
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Snape didn't acknowledge Umbridge when he entered the potions classroom. He avoided looking in the corner where she stood with a clipboard and immediately started class. "Today you will be completing your Strengthening Solution potions. As a reminder for those who have trouble retaining information," Snape said sarcastically. "Who can tell me what a Strengthening Solution does?" He gazed around the class. "Mr. Finnigan?"
Seamus darted his eyes around, as if hoping to find the answer. "Um, well, it makes you stronger," He offered in a small voice.
Snape sneered at the nervous looking Gryffindor. "Do you not remember our last class? Did you not do the reading over the weekend? Or perhaps you enjoy showing your idiocy? Five points from Gryffindor for such a simple and obvious answer."
Seamus's face turned red and he turned and glowered at Harry.
"Mr. Finnigan, the front of the class is this way," Snape snapped. "Another five points from Gryffindor."
Seamus slouched in his seat as his housemates glared at him.
"Miss. Greengrass, can you tell us what a Strengthening Solution does?"
"The potion will temporarily increase the drinker's ability to absorb his or hers enemies' casts without being harmed," Daphne answered.
"Correct, five points to Slytherin," Snape nodded.
"Hem, hem."
Harry noticed his Dad's face darken slightly but he still did not acknowledge Umbridge. He continued asking questions before instructing them to begin brewing. "Have your cauldrons set to simmer and start extracting the juice from your pomegranates. Do not add them to your potion yet, doing so at the wrong time would be disastrous." He leveled a warning look in Neville's direction, causing the boy to pale slightly.
"Hem, hem."
Snape began walking around, observing his students work. "I said to simmer, not boil. Turn down the heat," He said to Crabbe. He kept walking, ignoring Umbridge who was still clearing her throat. "You are supposed to extract the juice; you may want to scoop the seeds out Miss. Brown."
"Professor Snape?" Umbridge stepped forward.
Snape sighed, turned towards her and simply raised an eyebrow.
"I'm sure you received the notice that I would be inspecting your class today," Umbridge said in her girlish voice.
Snape just stared at her.
Harry bit his lip as he watched the exchange, loving how his dad wouldn't even consider Umbridge important enough to speak to. He finished mashing up his pomegranate to get all the juice he could, still watching the exchange between the adults.
Umbridge smiled at Snape sweetly. "Now, you had first applied for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position correct?"
Snape clenched his fists slightly. "Yes."
"Yet you were unsuccessful?" Umbridge asked in mock sympathy.
"Obviously…" Snape drawled out. "Unless this looks like Defense class to you?" He asked sarcastically.
Ron snickered loudly then yelped when Snape casually smacked him over the head with a book. Harry put his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. He could tell that it hadn't actually hurt as his dad had not done it hard but Ron still had a put upon look on his face.
"Don't worry, I doubt he could hurt anything," Draco whispered with a smirk.
"Oh, shut up," Ron hissed.
"It would seem most of your students have advanced skills for which you are to be commended for." Umbridge continued. "However…"
Several students watched eagerly as Umbridge continued to smile at the glowering potions professor. "I do wonder if this potion is a suitable lesson for the students," She said. "I am not sure if the Ministry would approve."
"This potion has been part of my lessons since I started teaching, if the Ministry had a problem with it I assume they would have said something years ago," Snape said in a bored voice. "Now, if you do not mind I have a class to supervise. Especially as I see a student about to add their pomegranate juice even though it is not time to yet!"
"Oops," Harry stopped just in time, smiling sheepishly at his dad. He set his juice aside and began the next step which was measuring out the salamander blood.
"Perhaps a detention or a zero for the day would help him to remember to focus on his work," Umbridge suggested helpfully.
"Good day Professor," Snape said dismissively, turning his back on her.
Umbridge made a show of making notes on her clipboard before exiting the classroom.
Snape paused by Harry. "I suggest you pay attention to your potion Mr. Potter." He warned.
"Yes sir," Harry said, feeling bad for almost making such a bad mistake. He couldn't help it though, seeing Umbridge treated so disdainfully had been very satisfying. He caught his dad's eye and offered a small apologetic smile which turned into a full-fledged grin when Snape gave a slight smile back.
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Harry woke up with a shout, his hand over his scar which was burning painfully.
"Harry?" Draco groggily lifted his head, his eyes widening in alarm when he saw his friend in distress. "Harry!"
"What's wrong with him?" Theo asked as he got out of bed.
"Ahh!" Harry practically screamed, holding his head. This was the worst his scar had hurt.
Crabbe and Goyle had woken up as well and were watching with alarm. "What's going on?" Crabbe asked nervously.
Draco went over to Harry and tried to pull his hand away from his forehead. When he caught a glimpse of the scar being a vivid red, he paled. "Theo, stay with him. I'm getting Professor Snape!" He ordered, hurrying out of the room.
Theo sat next to his friend. "It will be okay Harry," He said worriedly. When he noticed that Harry was starting to claw at his scar, he grabbed his hand. "No Harry, you're making it worse."
"I need…my dad," Harry gasped. His dad needed to know that the dreams were back.
"Draco's getting him," Theo assured him.
"How can we sleep with him making all that noise?" Goyle complained.
"Cast that silence thing on him," Crabbe suggested.
Goyle brightened and grabbed his wand. "Good idea." He looked at Crabbe. "Uh, do you know how to cast it?"
Crabbe rubbed his head. "Um…no."
Theo gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Don't worry, I do," He pointed his wand at the two clueless Slytherins. "Silencio!" He smirked in satisfaction as Crabbe and Goyle tried to speak but no sound came out.
Draco returned with Professor Snape who quickly went to Harry's side. "Harry, drink this," He said urgently, putting the vial containing a pain reliever to Harry's lips. "Come on," He said.
Harry gulped down the vial, feeling a twinge of relief but not as much as he had hoped. His eyes were watering from the pain and he looked at his dad. "Still hurts," He whispered.
Snape looked concerned and took out another vial of pain reliever from his pocket. "Drink this one too," He said, worried that one vial had not been enough. He would have to work on a better pain reliever for Harry; he couldn't stand seeing his son in such pain.
"I – dream, need to tell you," Harry gasped. He downed the second vial and finally felt significant relief from the pain.
Snape narrowed his eyes when he noticed Crabbe and Goyle standing by the door. "Get out," He snarled, not wanting to risk them hearing anything about Harry's dreams. He turned his attention back to Harry once they had left.
"Will he be okay?" Draco asked quietly.
Snape nodded as Harry began breathing normally. "Yes," He said. "Thank you for alerting me. Do you mind giving us a moment?"
"No problem sir," Draco said as he and Theo left the room.
"How is your scar now?" Snape asked.
"Much better," Harry said, reaching up to touch his scar. "It stings but nothing like before."
Snape pulled his hand away and began to open a jar. He gently began to rub the numbing cream into the vivid red scar. "So it has started up again?"
Harry relaxed further as the cream did its job to numb his scar. "Yeah," He said with a sigh. "It had been awhile so I was hoping…" He trailed off. He'd hoped it meant Voldemort wasn't getting any help.
"I know, so was I," Snape said. "Are you alright now?"
Harry nodded. "I'm sorry your sleep was disturbed," He said. "Merlin, I woke up everyone." He flushed.
"It is fine, your friends were only worried for you," Snape said.
Harry took a deep breath. "The dream…he was laughing and it appeared like he was in a house. It was dark though so it was hard to tell. And…I think he was talking to someone."
"Do you know what he was saying?" Snape asked, keeping his voice calm.
"Um," Harry tried to remember. "He didn't look right but he's something and he laughed a horrible laugh…he said soon," Harry remembered with a shudder.
"Soon?" Snape grew even more worried. He would need to talk to Albus immediately but he first wanted to make sure Harry was okay. He reached his arm out and pulled Harry to him, letting the teenager rest his head on his shoulder. "I don't want you to worry. He's obviously not fully restored to power yet and you are safe here and at home. He cannot get to you."
"Except through my scar," Harry mumbled.
"We are working on that as well," Snape said soothingly.
Harry nodded and yawned, his eyes starting to close. "Thanks Dad," He mumbled as Snape laid him back down on his bed and covered him with his comforter. Exhaustion from his nightmare and ingesting two pain relievers had him sound asleep within seconds.
Snape stared down at his son, feeling worried. You don't deserve this, he thought sadly. He knew one thing for sure; he would do whatever it took to protect his son.
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"I'm really sorry I woke you guys up," Harry said to Draco and Theo as they went downstairs.
"Don't be sorry, we're just glad you are feeling better," Draco said.
"I should apologize to Crabbe and Goyle too," Harry sighed. "They kept throwing us dirty looks when we got up but at least they didn't say anything."
"Stop, you don't have to apologize for a nightmare," Draco said in exasperation as they waited in the common room for Daphne and Tracey.
"Maybe I should use a silencing charm at night," Harry mused out loud.
Theo's eyes suddenly widened. "Oops, I forgot to take the silencing charm off of Crabbe and Goyle!"
Draco began laughing. "Seriously? That's brilliant!"
"You really put a silencing charm on them?" Harry began to grin.
"They were being very annoying," Theo shrugged. "I meant to take it off…"
Harry, Draco and Theo were laughing when the girls joined them. "What's so funny?" Daphne asked with a smile.
Theo pointed to where Crabbe and Goyle were gesturing wildly to Blaise, who looked annoyed at their antics.
"Stop doing that, what is your problem?" Blaise griped, turning his back on them.
"I guess I better fix it," Theo snickered as he walked across the room.
"Fix what?" Tracey asked.
"Oh, Theo cast a silencing charm on them in the middle of the night," Draco snickered.
Daphne laughed. "Were they snoring or something?"
"Um," Draco hesitated and glanced at Harry. "Yeah, that's it."
Harry rolled his eyes. "No, it was because of me. I had a nightmare and woke everyone up."
"They were being rude about it," Theo said as he rejoined the group. "Before I removed the spell, I told them that if they spoke of your nightmare to anyone I would do a lot worse to them then a silencing charm."
"Thanks," Harry laughed. He really had the best friends.
Daphne grabbed Harry's hand as the group headed to the Great Hall for breakfast. "The nightmare, was it of you-know-who?" She asked quietly.
"Yes," Harry sighed. "I woke up screaming because my scar felt like it was on fire." He admitted with some embarrassment. "My dad had to come to give me a pain reliever. Actually, two pain relievers."
"Two?" Daphne repeated. Harry would have had to be in a lot of pain if one pain reliever was not enough. She squeezed his hand. "Oh Harry. You aren't in pain still are you?"
"No, I don't feel any pain at all. Just the usual humiliation," Harry quipped.
"There is no need to, you can't control having a nightmare," Daphne said gently. "So…does this mean…"
"He's getting stronger and he's happy about something," Harry told her.
Daphne took an intake of breath. "That's not good," She murmured. She stopped walking and turned to face Harry, taking hold of his other hand. "You're not alone. Whatever happens, whenever it happens, you won't face it alone."
Harry looked at the determination in her eyes and smiled softly. "I know that," He said. "Thank you."
TBC:
