Light found himself uncharacteristically frightened.
There wasn't much that could frighten anyone with power over people's lives, but this did. His sister was coming over today- to babysit him.
Sayu finding out about this hadn't been in their plans. However, she and Misa had coffee together every week, and a few weeks ago he'd gone to take a nap a while before she usually came over. Normally that would have been fine, but a nightmare had catapulted him into his little headspace, and he'd woken up screaming for Mama. Misa had come rushing in and comforted him on instinct, and he'd calmed down enough to go back to sleep. Sayu, however, had been in the doorway, and Misa had been forced to explain everything. She listened calmly as Misa gave her the whole story, and surprised her by being okay with it. If this was a part of who her brother was and helped him relax without hurting himself, then the more power to him. By the time Light had woken up again, Sayu had gone, but had left a note for him, promising that she would not tell their parents and saying that she still loved him regardless.
He hadn't seen her since that day, and for that he was glad. He didn't think he could handle the feeling of his own shame upon their next sighting. However, Misa had to leave to go do a retake of some of her modeling headshots. She had never left him while little before and was more than a bit nervous to do so. This, however, was the first time unforeseen circumstances had taken her from him in his headspace. Had Sayu not known about this aspect of him, she might have been forced to ask Ryuk to watch him, and God only knew what kind of trouble Light might have wreaked with a passive Shinigami watching him. She knew she would have been up a creek without a paddle.
Now, Misa had her arms around Light's shoulders, hoping to calm him down. She could tell he was nervous, frightened even.
"It's going to be fine." She promised.
"Why you can't stay here with me?" He asked, looking up at her sadly.
She pulled him into a close hug. "You know I would if I could. You know I would never leave you by choice."
"Then stay."
"I can't. Not today." She said, and gave him a tight squeeze. "But Bobo will be with you the entire time keeping you safe. If you get nervous you can give him a squeeze. And you've got your blanket too, if you get scared. You can smell me and It'll be like I'm right there." She promised.
He nodded, biting his lip.
She gave him a gentle kiss to the temple. "You'll be a good boy while I'm gone, won't you?"
He nodded. "Uh huh."
She hugged him happily. "Good."
The doorbell rang. Light froze, and Misa gave him a quick squeeze of reassurance, before answering it.
Sayu stood there, smiling. "Hi Misa!" She chirped.
Misa gave her a hug. "Sayu! How are you?"
"I'm great, thanks." She said hugging her back.
"He's a little nervous." Misa whispered to her. "He's shy. He'll get better about it, though. Just give him time. He's not allowed to have his bear at the table and he has his nap at one. If he gives you any trouble, just give me a call."
"Don't worry, we'll be fine." Sayu Promised.
Misa let go. "I wish I could stay longer but I have to go." She said, turning back around to run to the couch to give Light one more kiss. "Be good, sweetie." She said, earning a nod from him. Running back toward the door, she told Light she loved him one last time before going through the doorway and slamming it behind her.
Silence. Quiet. Sayu turned to look at her brother, and saw that he had his head down and his eyes shut while holding his bear in a death grip. Clearly, he was scared, and from what Misa had told her, he had good reason to be. Nobody else had ever witnessed this part of him so closely. She supposed it was an honor that she was the first. Luckily, she knew just how to diffuse the situation.
Sayu walked over to the couch and sat one cushion away. Quietly, she spoke. "I like your bear." Her voice was kind, interested.
Slowly, Light turned his head and looked at her. He looked like a spooked little animal staring into the jaws of another, much bigger creature. He was assessing her, she knew, trying to gauge if she was safe. As his blood, she should have been by default, but in this unique situation, she understood why he wasn't sure. He was afraid of her judgement, waiting for the shoe to drop and her to be disgusted by him and leave. It was her job to prove that she wasn't going to do any of that. She knew this, and was more than up to the challenge.
"What's his name?" She asked, smiling reassuringly at him.
His shoulders relaxed marginally, and her eyes were sharp enough to notice it. This was a good sign. It took a moment, before he spoke in a whisper so quiet she almost didn't catch it. "...Bobo."
"Bobo?" She repeated. At his slight nod, she smiled. "That's a nice name. What does Bobo like to do?"
"...Play. He likes coloring. And hide and seek."
"Really? Is he good at it?"
Light nodded. "Better than me."
"Really?" She sounded surprised. "I would have thought you would know more hiding places than him."
"I do, but he fits in places better than me." He said, straightening up a little bit. She scooted a bit closer, and was grateful to not be rebuffed.
When he did this, she could make out the stitches on one of the bear's arms. "What happened here?" She asked gently.
Light tensed slightly, and Sayu feared him clamming up on her, but he spoke. "He had sturgery."
She had to fight a smile at his slip of the tongue. "Surgery, huh?"
He nodded. "He got hurted and Mama had to give him sturgery to make him all better."
It was weird to hear her brother refer to somebody else like that, a moment of readjustment she had to take, before she responded, smiling. "Well she did a very good job. He looks very handsome."
Light gave her a small, shy smile, and it lit her up inside. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?"
He hesitated a moment, then nodded. "Yes, please."
"What would you like?"
He thought about it a moment, then spoke. "Kitsune Udon?"
She smiled, remembering their mother making it for them both. "Sure. Will you be okay by yourself while I make it?"
He nodded, and she got up to make lunch.
As Sayu went to do that, Light slipped his thumb into his mouth and began to suck on it, thinking very deep thoughts. Sayu had been really nice to him and Bobo. It seemed like she was okay with this, but he still wasn't sure. He felt okay about talking to her now, but still, some unnameable fear was still there inside of him. He felt very exposed.
Perhaps that was the issue. He'd spent so long hiding so many parts of himself that being open felt wrong. He still felt the instinctual need to be cautious with whom he shared parts of himself with. But Sayu was his sister. He should have been able to trust her with anything. Family meant unbreakable bonds. Secrets ended in blood, and knitted them all closer. So why couldn't he just be open and let himself accept her?
Perhaps because accepting her meant changing the dynamic that had been between them all those years. He'd always been the big brother, taking care of Sayu, and to have the roles reversed felt instinctually uncomfortable. Perhaps it was his own discomfort that was not allowing for him to let his guard down. It would be uncomfortable, but hopefully, it would be worth it.
He hadn't realized how long he'd been lost until he heard Sayu speak softly from nearby. "Lunch is ready."
He jumped a little, turned to look at her, but she was all smiles. Cautiously, he got up from the couch with Bobo and started to walk to the table.
"Why don't you set Bobo down on the couch? You don't want him to get all dirty when you're eating, do you?" She said gently, trying to be mindful of Misa's warnings but also tactful in her phrasing so that her brother could see a benefit of the situation.
Light skittered to a stop in his tracks, clutching his bear to him nervously. He took a step backward. Put Bobo on the couch?! But he needed Bobo because Mommy wasn't here! He bit his lip, hesitant to let go.
Sayu watched him patiently, recognizing the fear in his face, and the indecision, not wanting to pressure him. In hopes of swaying him, she tacked on: "You can put him at the end of the couch so you can see him?"
His lip quavered a bit in his worry, tears threatening at his eyes. He really didn't want to let go of Bobo. But... Lunch smelled good and he really was hungry. And his sister would be with him, and Bobo could still see him from the couch and- more importantly- he could see Bobo. So maybe it would be okay to let him go. Just for a little bit. Slowly, he went to the arm of the couch and set Bobo on it so that there was a line of sight from his chair. Making sure Bobo was steady, he backed away slowly, before turning to go sit at the table and eat his lunch.
Sayu gave him a reassuring smile that glowed with her pride in his good decision making, and he seemed a bit calmer when he saw it. She started eating her lunch, and Light started eating his. She gauged the scene like a hunter, trying to figure out the perfect time to start a conversation and how to begin it, and instinctively, she knew when the time was right.
"What would you and Bobo like to do after lunch?" She asked.
Light tensed a little at the sudden question, but didn't jump, which Sayu considered progress. He thought about it, before giving a quiet answer. "I don' know..."
"What do you usually do after lunch?" Sayu asked. In truth, she hadn't gotten much from Misa regarding this other than the basics. She had wanted to learn more.
"Sometimes Mama does story time. Sometimes we have craft time where we make stuff. Other times we play hide and seek."
"You told me that you and Bobo like to color, right?
He nodded. "Uh huh."
"Would you maybe color something for me?"
Light looked up at her, and for a moment his eyes held excitement before the nerves crept in again. Despite this, Sayu felt it a step in the right direction. "Really?" He asked timidly, as though he was scared she'd lied to him.
"Sure. I'd love to put something from my "baby" brother in my scrapbooks." She smiled.
Light pouted, a look Sayu had seldom seen on his face in their childhood. "Not a baby." He said, clearly too proud to let himself be labeled that way.
Sayu, however, knew exactly what to say. "Ah, my mistake. Misa told me how big you were when you went through your surgery. It must have slipped my mind."
Light preened under the praise, a proud smile on his face. For just a second his adult self showed through in that smile, and Sayu had to remind herself that she was still dealing with a small child.
"Do you think you could make me a picture?" She asked.
Light nodded. "Yeah!"
"Awesome! Could you make it a surprise for me?"
"Uh huh!" He said happily. "Bobo 'n me will make it pretty!"
"I can't wait to see it." She said sincerely.
"Can I go do it now?"
"You finished most of your lunch. Go ahead." She said, grinning ear to ear that she was finally getting a glimpse of the little boy Misa saw every day.
Light leapt up from his chair, raced to the couch to grab Bobo, and bolted toward his room. "Thank you, Sissy!" He called out absently.
Sayu thought her heart might burst.
As Sayu cleaned up from lunch, Light immediately set about finding the perfect thing to color for Sayu. He got out his coloring book and began flipping through the pages until he found the perfect one at last. A boat sailing on the sea on a sunny day. It was perfect. He got out blue, yellow, brown, and red crayons, and got to work.
When Sayu finished the dishes, she went to go check on her brother. Peeking in his doorway, she saw him sprawled out on the floor, staring intensely at his picture as he colored carefully, smiling all the while. She stepped away quietly, a soft smile gracing her features.
It was incredible to see Light let go like this. From the time she could remember, he'd always been serious and focused, carrying loads of intense schoolwork and chores at home, along with his hobbies of helping the police department. She could remember a precious few times when he'd played with her as a little girl. Those moments were the ones where he seemed truly happy. She supposed he never really grew out of that, or grew up at all. Seeing her brother happy was what she wanted most, and now not only was that wish granted, but she herself got to be a part of it. It was just about the best thing she could have imagined.
She sat on the couch in the living room and grabbed her cell phone from her bag, looking at pictures and keeping an ear out in case her brother needed her. She didn't want to spoil the surprise by looking in on him too often, so she stayed where she was but kept her ears open.
Maybe half an hour after she took her place on the couch, Light came running out with Bobo in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. Stopping in front of Sayu, he gave a shy smile.
"I maked you a picture." He said, offering it to her.
Sayu smiled happily and took it, gasping at what she saw. A wooden sailboat moved across the sea on a sunny day, it's red and white striped sail catching the wind. Everything was perfectly colored inside of the lines, and what was even more amazing were that he'd done the red stripes by hand without any lines guiding him at all.
"This is beautiful!" She smiled. "Did you make the sailboat red because you remembered I liked that color?"
He nodded, a bit bashful.
"It's so thoughtful! I love it! Thank you." She smiled, and pulled him into a hug. To both of their surprise, he hugged her back.
When he let go, a small yawn escaped him. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was nearly one o'clock- Light's nap time.
"I think it's time we both took a little rest, hmmm? I heard it's somebody's nap time pretty soon. You worked really hard to color me such a pretty picture. It must have been tiring." She said softly.
"Don't wanna nap." He said. The words weren't defiant. Rather, they were scared.
Sayu sat down on the couch. "Can you tell me why?" She asked gently.
"Nap time is cuddle time with Mama. Mama's not here."
"That's true." She nodded. "But when you wake up from your nap she'll be here even sooner to give you cuddles. Isn't that more important?"
Slowly, unsure, Light nodded.
"You've got Bobo to keep you safe and give you cuddles. I think you'll be just fine." She reassured him.
He nodded, a bit more certain now.
"Go get ready for your nap, okay?"
He nodded, took a few steps toward his room, before stopping and turning around. "...Sissy?"
She smiled. "What is it?"
"...Will you check the closet for monsters like Mommy does?"
"I'd be happy to." She promised. He smiled, a genuine smile, and ran off for his bedroom, Sayu following him.
Light pulled down the comforter and sheets before rummaging in his nightstand to get binky and blankie. He was sure he'd need them both for nap time today. He put his pacifier in and rubbed his blanket against his cheek before he laid down and got under the covers. As he ticked himself in, Sayu entered.
"Ready?"
Light nodded, holding Bobo in one arm and his blanket in his opposite hand.
She opened the closet and looked inside. The room was dark thanks to a set of blackout curtains. She understood now why Misa had to do this twice per day rather than once like most people did. She looked in, stepped inside, and called back, "Nope! No monsters in here!" Before popping her head back out. "Better?"
Light nodded, smiling, before he settled back on his pillows to sleep.
"Have a nice nap." Sayu whispered as Light got rightly snuggled in.
"Nini, Sissy." Came the sleepy little voice. She smiled as she shut the door.
Sayu was sitting on the couch a little while later when the front door opened. Misa came in, smiling as she shut the door and hung her coat on the hook.
"Hey." She smiled at Sayu. "How was he?"
"He was very good. He even colored me a picture. I think he had fun." Sayu grinned.
"Oh good. He didn't put up a fuss, did he?"
"No. There were a few times when he was nervous, but otherwise it was fine."
"I knew he'd warm up to you quickly." She said, going over to Sayu and giving her a hug. "Thanks so much for coming on such short notice."
Sayu hugged her back. "It was no problem at all. I'll do it anytime. It was really amazing, actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, my whole life Light's been helping me out, and it felt good to be able to give some of that back. Even if it was just for a day."
Misa smiled. "I'm glad."
Sayu stood up. "I'd love to stay, but I have a paper I need to work on that's due in a few days."
"Of course. Do you want to say goodbye to him before you go?"
Sayu smiled. "Sure."
The two of them went to Light's bedroom, where he was shifting around in bed. Misa leaned down and kissed his forehead and rubbed his back gently. "Hey sleepyhead." She cooed.
His eyes opened blearily. "Mama..." He sighed, and reached his arms up to hug her.
"There's my baby." She cooed. "Did you have a good day with your sister?"
"Mhm. Sissy come play again?"
"Sure, sweetie. Right now though your sissy has to go. She wanted to come say bye bye before she left."
Light looked over Misa's shoulder to see Sayu standing there. He let go of Misa and ambled over to Sayu to give her a hug. "Bye bye, sissy."
"Bye bye, sweetie." Sayu smiled, hugging him.
"You come back to play again?"
"Anytime you want. Just have your Mommy call me, okay?"
"'Kay." He smiled.
She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling and waving to Misa before she took her leave.
This was a really great day.