The Quimby Files

by slapstick.genius

Diamond Joe Quimby's family album does not include the North Carolina drawings, which are in the Springfield museum. But it does include a history of gore, crime and a strange relationship with The Burnses and The Quartermaines of GH fame.

4. The cunning Morris

As Morris grew older and witnessed his mother dying of plague, he observed and studied garden animals and the backyard critters who visited him frequently. As an adept scientist, he loved tadpoles and tended not to kill them, seeing them grow into cute but stinky frogs. Later on, he went to Harvard College to study maths.

In 1744, he met a female classmate of his! Her name was Eileen O'Connor. However, their brief romance ended with the fact that she had an arranged marriage with John Callahan. They died at the beginning of the American civil war, so their only known child Tristan Callahan became a Webber by adoption.

Although not married, his considerably much younger female minion was named Maxine Fitzpatrick. He and Maxine clearly liked each other, as their relationship was close but restrained. That same relationship culminated in Cyrus Fitzpatrick's birth in May 1771.