9:27 Kingsway/September 30th
I added more logs to the fire. Working in the bakery was warm even as the cold started to sweep through the city but Thomas' small workshop was as cold as outside. I pulled my cloak tighter and picked up the book that Rael recommended me to read to practice on. Rael has been coming by less and less after a guard took him aside and wondered why he was exploring the city and visiting us.
I didn't realize how quick I would get lonely without him. Rael really was like a breath of fresh air when he was around me. Listening to his stories and being around him distracted me from my situation. Without him I started to think and thinking was bad for me. I let out a breath and I was able to see it. Thomas told me that snow might start floating in. It was going to be an early winter.
Soon it was going to be Firstfall or November with my son turning two years old and my daughter turning one in the next month. I won't be there for either of their birthdays. I missed them so much. I miss my son's dimples when he smiles and the coos of my daughter. The tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn't focus on my book at all.
I missed them. God, I missed them all. I missed my kids, I missed my husband, I missed my life. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go home. I wiped my tears and curled up in my cot, the warmth of the fireplace hitting my back. Thomas was gone to grab a few herbs. His normal supplier wasn't coming in besides with a few Elfroot since it's the only thing that grows with this cold weather. He was gone. I didn't want to be alone.
"Hey I haven't been in for a while! I had to take some of my old routes to get here so I can evade those damn guards and…why are you curled up on the cot?" Rael came in with his charm and I sat up quickly.
"It's nothing!" I sputtered, wiping my tears. Rael frowned and walked over. He sat on the cot next to me. I pulled on the blankets tighter and he patted me on the head again. Rael didn't say anything and I watched the fire burn while he slowly patted my head. I couldn't stop once my tears started. I whimpered and sniffled while big globs of tears fell from my eyes. I let out short gasps and wiped my nose on my blanket. I knew I would clean it later.
"You shouldn't try to hold things in. People tend to break that way." Rael mumbled softly. I nodded and wiped my tears.
"I miss my family…I want to go home." I whimpered.
"I know." Rael nodded and continued to pat my head as I sobbed into my blanket. "Try not to keep it in too long. I know how that feels…" Rael sighed. I nodded and wiped up as much as I could. Even then, there was a resounding hole that was filled with loneliness and homesickness.
9:27 Harvestmere/October 3rd
"Wow you got really good. You were able to read everything I gave you and then some. I'm proud of you." Rael chuckled and patted my head after reviewing my penmanship. I giggled in happiness. For once my writing was really good. It felt off to write in blocky letters but I was able to do it. My journal is now filled with entries that don't even look my normal handwriting back home. After the praise Rael began to criticize on a few things which I took with glee.
He bought me an inkstone, and ink well, and a quill. Little by little, Rael started to each me how to write with it and it's not as hard as I thought it would be. I had to be quick about it though. The ink would start dripping from the quill and start to smear the parchment. I really liked doing it though especially how amazing my letters would look. The charcoal that I would be writing with would smear so bad if I accidentally passed my hand through it. Once the ink dried it was fine.
"I want you to practice on all these sheets and if I find one ink spill, I'll have you practice your knife rounds again." Rael nodded.
"Yes Master Rael." I laughed.
"Hmph, at least you are becoming educated. Be grateful for that." Thomas said, weighing in his dried herbs.
"Where did you learn all of this? Did your mom teach you too?" I asked while practicing writing straight on the parchment. Rael sat down next to me instead of watching over my shoulder.
"Nope. She taught me all the practical fighting and lock picking but it was my dad that taught me how to read and write. He used to work with a noble since he was good with numbers and handle some of his personal letters. Of course one of the human staff got jealous and got him sacked but he managed to teach me everything he learned. Oh you were too soft with that down stroke. Once I learned how to read I tried to get my hand on anything I could. It's amazing what you can learn once you know what the letters mean." Rael sighed wistfully.
I looked at the pile of books that he gave me that was on top of my drawers. They were very well worn, a few pages were ripped, smudged, and the leather binding was starting to rip. I smiled softly. These books were very precious to him. Rael was a really nice person. He saved my life and was teaching me without anything in return. Even if I was his last reason to stay alive, I wished I could do something for him.
"Thank you Rael. I'm sorry I can't pay you back for everything you're teaching me." I said sincerely with a slightly ashamed face. Rael pinched my cheek.
"Don't go saying that. Besides, it's me who should be thanking you." Rael chuckled softly.
"Hmph. No heavy touching in my shop please." Thomas said gruffly. Rael and I both turned red and laughed.
"Sorry but human women aren't my thing." Rael confessed with a toothy grin.
"Yeah I have to say I don't like lanky men like you." I stuck my tongue out. Rael faux gasped.
"Oh that hurts inside here." Rael said dramatically, holding his chest.
"You are both fools." Thomas sighed and shook his head but he did smile at our antics.
9:27 Harvestmere/October 11th
It was an overcast day and the clouds were grey and full. The chill was biting as I brought my cloak closer around me and put my hood up. Another chill wind passed through the alley but the cloth in my hand was carrying more food. I stopped at the alley right before the docks. A few sailors passed by, busy with their wares and product. I sat on the crates and waited.
I put the food down and rubbed my hands together. When that didn't work, I put them under my armpits where it was warm. I never thought that I needed to bundle up. As much as it got cold where I lived, I never needed anything more than a sweater. Now I'm thinking I need to get a hat or a scarf if I can find it. If not, I'll have to make one for myself.
"I wonder if it's going to snow soon." I mumbled softly.
"It might actually." Rael came in through the alley and gave me a toothy grin. He took off the gloves he had on that had slight frost. I quickly gave him the cloth carrying the food and he gave a pleasurable sigh when he felt the warmth. Rael took off the special hat he wore for his ears and started to eat the soup I made. "The winters in Ferelden are harsh. You're probably not used to it. I hear that Antiva is a very warm place." He slurped with gusto. I gave a small smile and rubbed my hands.
"The summers were tough and hot. When it would rain then we would get the humidity. It was awful though the winters weren't that cold we still needed something but only a simple cloak. If it keeps getting colder, I might need mittens and a scarf." I joked.
"Try to get some yarn if you see some in the marketplace. I know where to get some that costs cheap!" Rael nodded, biting a piece of his bread. I nodded before I noticed little petals of snow started to fall down. I forgot about my cold hands and instead got up to try to catch the flakes.
"It's snowing!" I giggled and jumped in joy. "Wow! I haven't seen snow in years!"
"I haven't seen you really smile until now. It's good. You should smile more." Rael said sincerely. "Though I understand how you feel. There are times even when something you used to enjoy doesn't bring you any happiness anymore." I gave him a worried look and decided to pat him on the head like he does to me. He chuckled. "Sorry, I got depressed there for a second." I took my hand back and he started to put on his gear. "Don't get too excited. This won't stay for too long. It'll all melt by tomorrow. It still needs to get colder still for the snow to stay. Take care of yourself ok?"
"You do too. I'll see if I can buy some balm from Thomas to help with the cold." I offered. Rael looked taken aback.
"Really?" He laughed sheepishly. "Thanks! Well, time to get back to work. I'll catch up with your lessons tomorrow!" He jumped back into the fray. Rael is a hard worker. I can see why he could be a future grey warden. He would be good for it definitely.
After gathering everything that Rael left, I decided to take the scenic route to enjoy the falling snow flakes. I tried to catch a few but the wind would blow them everywhere but it was a nice game to enjoy. Until I was nearly at Thomas' shop when I felt someone knock into me. Then they pushed me against the wall with a knife right at my face.
"Now what's pretty young thing like you walking around all alone?" He slurred his words. He was unshaven and smelled like sewage. "Just hand over your coin and no one gets hurt, ya hear?" He chuckled darkly.
I froze. As much as I hate to say it, I did freeze. I got hit with a chilly wind that seemed to wrack his bones. He got distracted and the wind was able to make me focus. I struck the hand that held the knife with my elbow and hit his throat just like how Rael showed me. He coughed harshly while I ran for my life. The cobblestone was slippery but I was able to get to Thomas' shop. I slammed the door so hard I rattled the vases holding the product.
"Girl! Do not do that! If one of my pots breaks, I'm adding it to your debt!" Thomas shouted. I was shivering from adrenaline, fear, shock, and the chill.
"S-S-Sorry." I stuttered and made my way to my room. I sat down in front of the fireplace and wrapped my blanket around me. I calmed down my thumping heart while focusing on the fire. Once I calmed down, I started to sob. I had to vent my emotions somehow. I didn't have my husband to give me his hugs and I didn't have my kids to hold onto. I took deep breaths and wiped my tears away.
I spent my night practicing my writing with the quill well into the night.
9:27 Harvestmere/October 12th
I'm so glad today was a rest day because I had one of the weirdest dreams ever since I came back. At first I thought I was going to have a nightmare because of what happened yesterday but instead I had a dream of the place with the floating islands. I have come to believe that what I'm dreaming of is the fade. I already tried it too and no I can't command flame or even feel magical. I'm not a mage but I'm digressing.
I woke up on the ground, staring into a vast green sky. The floating islands were everywhere and things seemed to go in and out of focus. I sat up and analyzed my surroundings. It looked like the highway that was outside of the city I used to live in. There were cactus growing everywhere, dry trees, tumble weeds, bushes, dirt, and plenty of sand. It was so nostalgic that I felt I really was home. It didn't feel right though. It felt off. I sat there wondering why even though the landscape was perfect there was something really, really strange.
I realized why it was odd; there was no ambience. It was dead quiet. There were no bugs, no animals, no wind, nothing. It was absolute and utter silence. I got shivers when I realized how creepy and fake it all seemed. I got up from the ground and looked around. I saw no traces of sprits or demons. From what I read, I shouldn't even try to explore the fade since it would constantly change around me. Exploring would also lead me to be susceptible to possession.
I was getting bored though. I tapped on the highway and started to walk. There were mountains in the distance and everything looked the same no matter how far I walked. I didn't even get tired and my sense of time was skewed to the point where I thought I was walking for a few hours. I looked around again when I saw something floating to the right of me. It was far away but I was able to see it clearly, a small ball hovering that looked like a halo.
When my eyes met it, it seemed to shrink away. Almost like a person, it hid behind a cactus. It peeked out to look at me but it saw that I was staring at it so it went back and hid again. It kept doing it before I put up my hand and did a small wave.
"Hi?" I said tentatively. I sighed and shook my head before I started to walk again. It was a big no-no to even try to talk to spirits. I put my hands in my pockets when I noticed that I was wearing my normal clothes that I wore back home. I have to admit that the fade was really good at making things from your imagination. Then the spirit that was following me suddenly flew in front of me.
'Danger.' It said.
"Danger?" I wondered, raising my eyebrow.
'Cannot go further.' It said. I looked over its hypothetical shoulder and I nodded. If this was a helpful spirit then I should heed its advice. Once it gave me a sigh of relief, I woke up. I made sure to light up my candle to write all this down while it was still fresh in my mind. I made one last attempt on commanding the flame and all it did was flicker normally. No mage, so why am I dreaming of the fade?
Beta'd by the lovely FearaNightmare.
Halo makes an appearance! In this rewrite I'm also going to include a few more fade adventures with Halo besides walking around, maybe add in a few spirits and demons and some foreshadowing to...something xD
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