The Quimby Files

by slapstick.genius

Diamond Joe Quimby's family album does not include the North Carolina drawings, which are in the Springfield museum. But it does include a history of gore, crime and a strange relationship with The Burnses and The Quartermaines of GH fame.

8. Johnny Angel

Goku-like in proportions, Johnny O'Donnell Quimby was multiracial, clever, beautiful and had lots of good deeds, hence he got nicknamed as Johnny Angel after saving five kids from a ravaging parent who attempted to kill them all. Although his childhood is troubled, as was his young adulthood and only marriage to Leslie Mullins, which led to Reginald's birth in 1869, even though he left them behind penniless a few years later.

Nonetheless, his later life is a bit secretive, although he occasionally impregnated two of his sleeping friends, Joan Erwin and Mae Pesci, resulting in the births of Alexandra in 1881 and Joseph in 1895. He lived with Joan for about seventeen years, and later living with Mae for about the last 27 years of his life.

Both He and Mae died of tuberculosis in 1919.