"I, I'll never be, be what you see inside. You say I'm not alone, but I am petrified. You say that you are close, is close the closest star? You just feel twice as far... You just feel twice as far..."

-Twenty One Pilots, "Fake You Out"

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Freed POV

My hand is fine, just for the record. It's totally fine. Wendy took good care of it, and it's fully operational once again. That's not the problem. In fact, what happened to my hand is the least of my problems right now.

While I was conscious on the tedious train ride back to the guild, Laxus had said something that broke my heart. No, it didn't break my heart. It completely shattered my heart. Left a big, gaping hole in my chest. And I could feel it too, like a knife protruding from my rubs, a constant burning ache.

Bickslow and Ever had asked Laxus if he loved me. And he subtly denied it. No, he didn't even do it subtly, I need to stop making it sound better than it was. He denied it altogether. Told them that he was just being so kind to me because I was injured, and needed the extra attention. You have no idea how bad that hurt. And on top of all that, he completely gave up on me and told the two of them that he thought I was gonna die.

But that's not even the worst of what he did to me.

On the train, I clearly remember how he promised he'd stay with me and see me through this horrible injury I had sustained.

I swear on my life that I will see you through this, he had said. Those were his exact words. And I believed them too.

But when I woke up in the infirmary, I was completely and utterly alone. Laxus wasn't there. He hadn't followed through on his promise to stay with me no matter what happened and ensure I stayed alive. He wasn't there. It was so simple, yet it hurt so badly.

So I sat alone for a few minutes, after Wendy stopped in and checked to make sure my hand was still going in the right direction and healing up. I took the time to contemplate what I had gotten myself into with Laxus. The situation felt shockingly familiar, but alien at the same time.

He had used me like this before, during the battle of Fairy Tail, which he started. He used me to hurt my friends, my comrades. People I had grown up with and known almost all my life. He made me hurt them, turning my loyalty and devotion to him against me, using it to gain the emotional leverage he needed over me to make me do whatever he wanted.

Now, it was different but... The same.

I felt like he was using me again, in a different way. He was playing me like a puppet on the end of a string, making me think he loved me and wanted me, all the while using our close bond as an excuse to nudge me into doing things I wasn't really comfortable with. The incident in the meadow came to mind. He was kissing me so hard I couldn't breathe, pinning me to a tree. I was scared in that moment, scared of him. Scared of what would happen if he didn't stop.

All the while, he continued to embrace my position as his personal bodyguard. Hell, I blew someone up (literally, mind you) to keep him safe. I almost bled out when my hand was crushed. All because I protected him. Did I really want this? So far, I hadn't gotten much of anything out of this relationship. He wouldn't even tell anyone we were together, and I saw him making eyes at Mirajane a few times recently. Did he really love me? Or was he finding new ways to make me do things for him?

I honestly felt stupid and vulnerable, like a child taking candy from a stranger. Why was I so ignorant and desperate that I fell for this? Since when was I so gullible?

I love Laxus. It never stopped. But... This is so one-sided. All I've been doing is everything I possibly can for him. I've given and given until I had nothing left to give, for his sake. I've nearly died for him. But he never does anything for me in return, he wants to keep his "love" for me hidden, and he looks at women the exact same way he used to. He doesn't love me, he really doesn't. He's just using me again, because to him, I'm just silly, stupid Freed, falling for everything he asks me to.

So when Laxus finally showed up, an hour after I woke up, I decided I had to say something. The door opened, and in walked the tall, muscular blonde. He closed the door behind him and smiled at me.

"Hey, nerd." he greeted. "How are you feeling?"

I ignored the question and instead asked a question of my own. "Where have you been?" I gave him a sharp look of bitter distaste.

He recognized my frustration immediately, and frowned. "Uh... Are you okay? I've been out in the cafe, like I always am. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Don't play dumb." I really wasn't in the mood for this. So I just gave it to him straight. "You promised to stay with me and make sure I was okay. You swore on your life that you'd see me through this! But I woke up alone, for heaven's sakes, and I've been alone for the past hour!"

"Oh shit." Laxus realized his mistake and blanched. He slapped a hand to his forehead and hung his head, thoroughly embarrassed. "Jesus Christ, Freed, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so forgetful and irresponsible, I'm sorry. I know you can't stay mad at me forever, right?" he glanced at me with a hopeful expression.

I stared at him for a moment, unable to find my voice. But when I did, I was unable to stop the pain and sadness from creeping into my tone. "Laxus... You denied loving me. I heard you. And that... Hurt me... Worse than you can ever imagine it did. How stupid do you think I am? You don't really love me. All you're doing is using me again, making me think you have feelings for me so I'll do whatever you want and I'm tired of it." I realized I was crying, tears beginning to trace their way down my face. "I'm tired of being the sweet, gullible idiot that you get to use however you please. I want to mean something to you, Laxus! I don't want to chase after a love that doesn't exist! I hate how this whole thing is one-sided. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and you just tolerate it and take advantage of it."

"Freed, stop." Laxus exclaimed, small lightning bolts crackling between and around his fingers. "That's not the way it is, and you know it."

I eyed his sparking electricity magic warily, but still continued on. "No I don't know it. If you did love me, you could at least try to act like it. But this is what I get for being so damn stupid. Running after you like there's no tomorrow, without realizing there's no hope for me. I'll never catch up to you."

"Do you even hear yourself? Look, I'm really sorry, but I'm not the best at expressing love for other people, okay? I've always been bad at it. I would never do anything to hurt you and I know that, deep down, some part of you knows that." The dragon slayer began pacing back and forth furiously. "You've got it all made up in your head that I don't love you. I do! I love you so much, Freed. So fucking much. You wanna know why I didn't show up even though I promised to? I didn't forget, you were all I could think about! But I couldn't stand to come in here and see you hurting! When they crushed your hand, you screamed. And that scream has been haunting me all day long. I just wasn't strong enough to face you again after hearing that much pain in your voice. Knowing I did absolutely nothing to stop it."

My eyes widened. Was this true? Had he really been avoiding me because he felt guilty about what happened? It was believable, but it still didn't explain one other thing.

"O-Okay, I guess that makes sense, but that still doesn't justify or explain why you denied being in love with me. And you did it right in front of me." I was almost hissing with anger, this was something that had been bothering me for awhile now. "And it also doesn't explain why you're always giving Mira second glances."

"Alright, you've got a point on both those things. And both I can explain in detail." Laxus sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, seeming to calm down a little. "I'll be honest, I denied it because I am... Really insecure about my sexuality. I know, it's stupid, and the only person judging me is myself but I can't help it. I'm always afraid of what other people will think if they know the person I, a fearless dragon slayer, chose to be my mate is of the same gender as me."

I just stared at him for a long time before responding. "Oh. So you're ashamed of me."

"No, that's not it at all. I'm ashamed of myself. You're the most perfect, beautiful person I've ever met and I could never even dream of living up to that, of being as brave and selfless as you." Laxus reached out and put his hand over mine. I tensed, but decided not to pull away. I could at least hear him out. "And the thing with Mira... I don't love her. Don't have feelings for her. She's lesbian so how could I? The eyes you see me making at her is really just... I don't know how to explain this without it sounding like total bullshit but she and I have weird way of communicating without talking. That's what you're seeing."

I felt a flutter of hope in my chest. He didn't love her. It made perfect sense that they had a sort of special means of communication. I had done that with Evergreen before. So I understood why it often looked like he was just staring at Mirajane when really they were using some sort of signal to talk to each other.

"That's... All it is?" I peered at him curiously, lips twitching upward in a hopeful smile.

"Yeah. I wouldn't lie to you, Freed." Laxus nodded, stroking the back of my hand.

I hesitated, then slowly scooted closer, tentatively wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'm really sorry."

"It's okay." Laxus slipped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head. "If I were you, I'd feel pretty dejected too. You always work so hard and I'll admit I haven't done nearly enough to return the favor. Your feelings are valid, and I really appreciate you talking to me about it."

I hummed in response, snuggling closer to him. "No, don't sugar-coat it. I was so wrong for accusing you of such dreadful things..."

"Maybe, but given how long you've been doing things for me without stopping or even getting tired... Hell, I'd be a little crappy too every once in awhile, and I'd probably snap at some point. All you have to do is admit you're tired. You know I'll never force you to do things for me." Laxus reasoned, running his hands through my hair. "You need a break. And a real, honest-to-god break."

"No, no, I'm fine." I tried to wave him off but he slid his hand up to the back of my head, fingers sliding into my hair, tugging lightly. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to cut off my protesting. "S-Seriously, Laxus, I'm okay."

"I wasn't asking. And no you're not, especially after what happened to your precious hand." He smoothed down the jade-green locks with his fingers, occasionally running his fingertips across my scalp. "Speaking of which, how long are you gonna be here?"

"Until Wendy gets back. She said she wants to give it just a little more time to make sure it's healed completely. I think it's fine, but she's just double-checking." I told him, savoring his strong, musky scent. "And you're delusional, because I am totally fine."

"Stop lying to me, Freed, it's extremely obvious when you are because you're no good at it." Laxus chuckled, which sounded like a deep rumble in his chest like distant thunder. "You may not know it yet, but you're absolutely exhausted. Fourteen years of doing everything you possibly can for me and getting next to nothing in return is finally catching up to you. Nobody's ever told you this, but there's only so much a person can give before they start to lose themselves in the process. Once you have nothing left in you to give, you start giving pieces of yourself away. And I don't want that to happen to you." he continued to caress the back of my head, producing a very pleasant sensation. I never wanted it to end.

"B-But... I don't want to stop..." I mumbled, dismayed by the fact he was telling me I had to take a break from helping him.

"I'm not asking you to stop altogether because that'll kill you. But please... Take some time off. Maybe it's time you let me do things for you." Laxus tilted his head so it was resting on mine. "I was thinking we could go down to the beach together with the whole Thunder Legion. They're gonna stay for a day, you and I are gonna stay for three days. That way, we can spend some quality time with our team... And with each other." he suggested, smiling at the idea.

My heart skipped a beat. Two whole days, alone with Laxus. That sounded like such a nice arrangement. I almost melted at the very thought of spending quality time with him.

"That sounds... Lovely. Thank you, Laxus." I nuzzled his collarbone gratefully, still clinging to him like an anxious child.

"But there's a catch. While we're there, you're not allowed to do a single damn thing for me or for anyone else. You're gonna sit back and take it easy." He gently pried my hands off his neck so he could hold me out at arm's length, giving me a stern look.

"Language." I muttered. "And I'm afraid I'll have to decline, although that is a thoughtful idea of yours."

"Freed Justine!" the blonde laughed, whacking me over the head with his arm playfully. "Those are the rules, and you will not break them, got it?"

I glared at him for a moment. He knew how seriously I took the following of rules. Finally, I sighed and gave up. "Fine. If it's a rule, then I have no choice but to abide by it. Especially if you're the one who set it." I grumbled, folding my arms and giving him an indignant look.

"Hah. There's the Freed I know and love. Look at you, pretending to be all annoyed with me." he chuckled and scooped me up into his arms again, stealing kisses along the side of my neck.

I blushed and tried to wriggle away, giggling. "Don't do that, it tickles." I scolded, swatting his arm.

"Oh, does it?" he gave me a mischievous smile that told me I should not have said that. He pinned my arms to my sides and assaulted my neck with kisses, nibbling lightly on ticklish places.

I burst out laughing, unable to fend him off. "Laxus!" I squealed, voice shrill with laughter. "Stahp!" I struggled feebly, but he was too strong.

Finally, he was merciful and pulled away, after pressing one last tender kiss to the soft skin just beneath my ear. I was gasping for breath, unable to stop smiling, face flushed.

"Good heavens..." I managed to gasp out. "You are absolutely evil sometimes."

"I am. But you're just so cute I couldn't resist. Don't make me promise it won't happen again because that's a promise I'll probably break within a week." Laxus grinned at me, releasing my arms so I could move as I pleased again. "You really are so adorable, Freed. Absolutely precious."

Using my good hand (the other was lightly bandaged, Wendy said it was just a precaution), I quietly wrote out a set of runes in the air. They glowed purple, flashing and wavering uncertainly like holograms.

"Whatcha doin?" Laxus asked, mesmerized by the mysterious patterns I was creating in the air.

"Making a spell that will keep you from tickling me." I replied, smirking at him. "I hate to admit it but I'm pretty ticklish, so I'd rather not spend the next two months being tormented because of such..."

"Oh, no you don't!" Laxus suddenly snatched my wrist and zapped my runes out of the air with a quick lightning attack that caused no damage to humans, yet was capable of disrupting my incomplete spell.

"Hey." I immediately shot him a glare. "That's cheating. Don't touch my runes."

"Sorry, buttercup, I just couldn't have you stopping me from having fun with you, from messing with you occasionally. Nowhere in your rules does it state that I am not allowed to tickle you." Laxus shot back, evenly. "And you can't go and change them on the spot either."

I frowned. "That's not fair. Cheater."

"Life isn't fair." Laxus gave me such a matter-of-fact look that I wasn't sure if I wanted to punch him or kiss him. "I figured that you, of all people, would know that." he said, adding insult to injury.

"But sometimes, when it's things like this that I have some control over, life has to be fair." I squirmed out of his grasp and sat across from him, giving him an indignant glare. "So let me set up the spell and stop harassing me in the process."

"Hmm..." Laxus pretended to think about it, propping his chin up on his palm. "No. Sorry." he smirked. I mumbled something about him being as stubborn as a mule under my breath, but he had enhanced hearing and burst out laughing. "I heard that, Freed! You can't insult me when I'm in the room, it's just not possible."

"Well, I don't say anything that I wouldn't be able to say to your face." I remarked, coldly. "You're as stubborn as a mule, Laxus."

"Fair enough. But I'm not gonna stop either." he shrugged.

"Why not?"

"Can't. Wouldn't. Won't."

I sighed, completely exasperated. "You annoy me sometimes. Anyway, didn't Ever and Bix say they were gonna come by and visit?"

"Yep. They should be along any minute now." Laxus nodded.

Ironically, the words had just barely left his mouth when the door flew open and in rushed Bickskow and Evergreen. They were both so frantic with excitement that I couldn't make out what either of them was saying, just bits and pieces like "you're alive!" and "are you okay?" and "we missed you sooooo much!" and, of course, "don't ever scare us like that again or else-!"

"Guys, guys, I'm fine. Really. Wendy's just keeping me here a few extra minutes to make sure everything's healed up okay." I explained, letting them hug the living daylight out of me. "Besides, both of you have been in the infirmary at least five times more often than I have, and you never worry this much about each other..."

"That's because you're our captain. We need you alive and functioning in order to be alive and functioning ourselves." Ever reasoned.

"Touché." I nodded my understanding and pulled both of them in for a group hug. "I missed you guys too."

"Aww, Freed does have a heart!" Bickskow said, with a mock-adorable tone.

"You shut up." I swatted his arm. "How else would I be alive right now, you absolute idiot..."

"Only the three of you can make a beautiful family reunion so absolutely amusing that I cannot stop laughing." Laxus remarked, from where he was sitting. "Oh, and guys? There's something I want to tell you... About Freed and I."

My heart nearly sprang right out of my chest, beginning to race like a wild horse in a stampede. My eyes widened slightly as I realized what was going on. This is how he's making it up to me. He's telling them about us. He's proving that he isn't ashamed of me. He's proving that he isn't just taking advantage of me.

"Oh? What about you two?" Evergreen asked as she and Bix slowly pulled away from me to look at him, heads tilted to either side like curious puppies.

I swallowed hard.

"Well... Freed and I... We're kinda... Together." Laxus finally managed to blurt out.

"I knew it." Bickslow said, folding his arms and giving the blonde a stern look. "Ever and I both knew. You just wouldn't tell us."

"So although we appreciate y'all coming out like this, it's no big surprise, really." Evergreen jumped in, using her favorite matter-of-fact voice. "It's been really obvious ever since Bix caught you two about to kiss a couple weeks ago..."

"Oh. You saw that, huh?" I blushed and looked down at the blankets pooled in my lap, embarrassed. "I honestly thought we got away with it..."

"Heh. Lucky for you, it didn't really surprise me then either. It's always been obvious that you're hopelessly in love with Laxus. All he had to do was realize that... And I think it's safe to say he did." Bickslow nodded and rumpled my hair roughly, much to my indignance.

I swatted his hand away and tried to smooth down my now-tangled locks of green hair. "Fair enough."

"So. Now you know. Or at least, now you have a verbal confession." Laxus shrugged awkwardly, obviously trying to end the conversation on a less tense note.

"Heh. Yeah. I'm proud of both of you. Thanks for telling us." Ever smiled and put her hand on my and Laxus's shoulder, comfortingly. "We won't judge either of you. Just be yourselves, don't feel the need to hide it."

"Yeah. And if anyone makes fun of you or talks shit I'll knock them out!" Bickslow agreed, with way too much enthusiasm.

"Watch your language. And thanks again. The understanding is much appreciated." I nodded gratefully.

Wendy came back a moment later and declared that I could leave. She said my hand was fully healed (just like it was before) but I should probably take some time off, just to be safe, and more of the pointless instructions healers usually give out, such as "make sure you get enough sleep and drink enough water etc etc".

Laxus immediately set up arrangements for our vacation. Ever and Bix were beyond excited to go, as was I, but for different reasons. Not only did sitting on the beach reading a book sound absolutely lovely, but two whole days alone with Laxus was like two whole days in heaven. I was mostly looking forward to the quality bonding time couples need to flourish. It would be our first time doing something just the two of us.

My only gripe was that Laxus wouldn't even let me help him make arrangements for the trip. He kept telling me to stop scrambling around and get some rest. I didn't take very kindly to this, but I also couldn't deny him. So I just left the room, grumbling to myself about it.

Despite how dejected I pretended to be at the fact Laxus was making me take some time off, I secretly found his sincerity and determination adorable and charming. He cared so much about me that he kept turning down my help and insisting on doing everything himself. That, to me, was priceless.

To be continued...

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A/N: heh sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than the usual fare, I got tired and decided to write the little vacation into the next chapter instead of adding it to this one. If I stuck it in this one it wouldve gotten outrageously long and tedious to read. I figured it was best to break it off early to avoid any further editing problems. Alright well. Chapter 9 comes out sometime this weekend, I hope you'll like it!

-UltimatexAdmin