9:30 Wintermarch 17th
My night was rife with nightmares of what I did when I was with Rael. The soldier's faces as I took their lives. I was in and out of sleep for the most part. It didn't feel like I rested at all. I woke up with a sharp pain in my chest. Emotional pain that traveled down to my wrists. I ignored it for the most part. Eren didn't ask me about what happened yesterday, of which I was grateful. I yawned for the third time that morning over breakfast.
"Nia, did you have nightmares?" Oren asked softly.
"Some." I nodded, rubbing my dry eyes.
"I dreamt about mother." Oren sighed. Eren and I looked at each other.
"Keep her in your memories and she'll never die." Eren said before eating his breakfast. Oren nodded somberly. I sighed. This depression atmosphere was really trying. We got out of the inn while I tried to haggle for a ride again.
And again I kept being denied. No one was riding to Lothering. No wagons, no carriages. Nothing. I told Eren about my futility, but all he did was give me that defeated expression. I couldn't stand it.
"…I'll try to convince them again." I sighed. I went back but all the riders were gone. Instead, I found a lone dwarf tending to the horses. "Excuse me, where did all the riders go?"
"Break." He grunted while putting some hay down in a stable.
"Oh. Do you know anyone that might be going to Lothering?" I asked and hoped. The red headed dwarf looked at me then laughed loudly.
"Lothering!? Right next to the darkspawn nest? Ha! You'd have more luck fishing for lyrium!" He laughed. I hung my head. The depression got to me then. The dwarf noticed my expression and cleared his throat. "Look missy, no one is going to go around and risk their heads around here. Too many selfish humans. If you'd like, I could sell you a few horses."
"No." I shook my head. "I don't have the money. Thank you for the offer." I sighed, about to go out of the stables when I noticed a gang coming inside. They had bad leather armor but all of them were armed.
"Hey there dwarf, we came here for some horses. Got any around?" Their leader sashayed toward us.
"We don't have horses for sale." The dwarf said gruffly.
"I seem to have overheard that you were going to sell one to the pretty lady." He winked at me. I glared.
"They're not for sale for the likes of you." The dwarf grabbed a shovel. "Now get out."
"I think those are fighting words." The leader smirked. I grabbed my own daggers but the dwarf grabbed my forearm and threw me into the hay. I sputtered as I heard the sounds of fighting. I couldn't leave him alone. I was able to get out with hay in my hair before I realized the yelling was the gang and not the dwarf.
I could tell that the gang got a few good licks in but three of them were on the ground, one was flung on a fence post, and the last two were trembling in their boots. The dwarf took a warning step toward them.
"Now, you'd best get out of here or the next one gets this shovel up his ass." The dwarf threatened. They ran out screaming. That's when Eren decided to pop his head in with a very familiar face behind him. I gaped.
Duncan.
"You want some of this too!" The dwarf yelled, raising his shovel at them.
"Wait! That's my friend!" I ran over and stood in front of Eren.
"Oh, sorry about that." The dwarf laughed.
"I have to say I am very impressed with what you have done." Duncan said. Eren gave me a questioning look.
"The riders were all gone, ambush, he took care of it." I quickly explained and pointed at the dwarf while trying to get the hay out of my hair.
"You weren't able to convince them?" Eren asked. I shook my head. Duncan was talking to the dwarf until I heard the dwarf guffaw.
"Are you sodding serious?" The dwarf yelled.
"I am." Duncan nodded.
"By the Ancestors! I'm going to be a Grey Warden!" He yelled.
"A Grey Warden?" Eren wondered. Then, for the first time in days, there was light in his eyes. "Are you a Grey Warden?" Eren asked, walking closer to them. Duncan nodded.
"Yes, I am Duncan." Duncan introduced himself.
"Then that means you're going to Ostagar. Take me with you." Eren announced.
"Eren!" I chastised before he glared at me.
"I'm sorry but I can't do that." Duncan walked by with the dwarf in tow.
"Please! I need to find someone at Ostagar." Eren followed.
"Then it would be best if you talked to the Royal Guard." Duncan rebuffed him.
"My name is Eren Cousland and my family was slaughtered!" Eren ran up to Duncan. "I need to find my brother." He nearly screamed. Duncan stopped and looked back.
"Eren Cousland?" Duncan wondered. Eren took off his family's shield with his heraldry and showed it to him.
"I am." Eren's voice shook.
"I have heard of your prowess with a blade. I was meaning to go to your estate to pick a recruit. Unfortunately, I wasn't there on time." Duncan really did look sorry.
"It didn't matter that you weren't there. Nothing could have changed what happened but if you're going to Ostagar, I'm sure I will repay you once I had my vengeance." Eren saluted and bowed.
"Only on one condition; that you come with me to become a Grey Warden yourself." Duncan put his offer. I saw Eren debate about it and he looked at me.
"Not unless you allow safe travels for her and my nephew." Eren grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into him. Duncan mulled it over for a good minute.
"As long as you join our ranks, your companions are free to travel with us." Duncan agreed. For once, I didn't feel like digging into a hole.
"Thank you." Eren bowed and I did as well.
"I am staying at the Noble tavern. Get your things in order and meet me there tonight." Duncan said with the dwarf following him. I nearly wanted to cry in relief. Eren and I got out of the stables and got Oren. We went to the marketplace to stock up on reserves. We refilled our waterskins and I got more dried meat and fruit.
I got a marrow bone for Alfred and he gnawed on it graciously. Eren didn't say a word as I led them to the tavern/inn. We got there and it was uncharacteristically empty. We sat down on a table and I ordered some food for Oren. He ate quickly and I picked at my drink. Eren crossed his arms and stared at the ground. Alfred was snoozing under our table.
"Eren…what's the plan? If you're going to Ostagar with the Grey Warden, what about me and Oren?" I asked.
"You'll stay in Lothering until I come to pick you up. By then, Fergus will be with us. If I can convince the king and tell him of what happened, he might fight with us." Eren explained, finally taking his drink.
"That's a really big might." I chuckled. Eren's face looked away and I sighed. I have no idea how to make Eren feel better.
"Are you going to find papa?" Oren asked. Eren ruffled his hair.
"I will." Eren nodded.
"I miss mama." Oren mumbled into his food. It was almost a slap to the face. I excused myself and went outside. I leaned against a wall and tried my best not to curl up into a ball. Instead I held my face in my hands while subtly wiping away the tears that fell.
"Missy!" I heard a familiar yell. I quickly wiped away my tears and looked up. Duncan and the dwarf were coming with another man in tow. "You know, I never got your name." The dwarf crossed his arms in front of me.
"Oh, my name is Nia." I said, putting out my hand. He shook it vigorously while laughing loudly.
"The name's Derek! Looks like we found another recruit!" Derek slapped the other man's thigh.
"Hey now, that's only reserved for pretty ones like her. Daveth's the name. A pleasure." Daveth winked and bowed. I merely nodded. "Aw, come on. Put a smile on your-" Daveth reached out to me before someone loudly punched the wall. It was Eren who just got out of the inn. He glared at Daveth.
"It would be best not to antagonize your future partners." Duncan chuckled. Daveth chuckled lightly before Eren grabbed my arm and we all went in the tavern. We all sat around while Oren was playing with Alfred in a corner.
"We will be marching to Ostagar as soon as we can though there is one more place I would like to visit." Duncan mentioned.
"Why are we stopping?" Eren asked.
"Mages have always been crucial for the battlefield." Duncan explained.
"We're going to the Circle?" Daveth asked with a hint of fear in his voice.
"No. I will be going to the Circle. All of you will be at the Spoiled Princess in the meantime. That is the only stop. I have searched through all my resources." Duncan sighed. That means we're either going to get the elf or the human mage in our party. That made me slightly excited.
"Then it's best we leave now. Nia and I have prepared everything." Eren mentioned.
"Of course." Duncan said. We all got together and departed the city. When Oren would get tired, Alfred would let him ride him. That made Oren really happy. Anything to distract him from what happened. We continued until dead at night. We made a small camp on the side of the rode with small cots that Duncan had. There wasn't enough for everyone and Daveth gave me his.
"Are you sure you want to give me this? I'm not a recruit so I don't deserve…" I looked down with guilt.
"Nonsense. A fine lady like yourself needs something to protect you from the elements. 'Sides, I'm used to sleeping in the dirt." Daveth chuckled.
"Thank you." I said sincerely.
"Of course…if you get cold then-" Daveth started before Eren grabbed me and sat me down next to him. He glared at Daveth and he backed off. I looked at Eren.
"Is something going on?" I whispered. Eren scoffed.
"You are so thick headed." Eren shook his head. "You'll be sleeping with me and Oren. It gets cold at night." Eren mumbled the last part.
"In a sec, I'm going to write in my journal." I said, taking it out of my pack. Eren rolled his eyes.
"Out of all the things to gather, you grabbed your journal? You are mad." Eren stared in the fire.
"…It's the only thing keeping me sane actually." I said seriously. Eren looked at me and a swell of emotion filled my chest. My lips wobbled as I tried to find the words. "If it wasn't for this, I would have killed myself a long time ago." I squeaked out, wiping away my tears. Eren gaped at me.
"What did you say to make her cry?" Daveth asked across the fire. Eren scowled and Derek laughed.
"Leave the love birds alone! Too bad we don't have a tent for you two." Derek chuckled.
"We're not together. He's my boss." I said firmly, wiping away the last of my tears. Derek looked at me, then at Eren, then at me.
"My condolences." Derek chuckled.
"Why are they-" I wondered before Eren rolled out the cots.
"It's time for us to rest." Eren laid down and Oren laid in between us. I heard Duncan mention he would take the first watch. I stared up at the dark night sky, the stars still twinkling, the moons still bright. It was definitely cold but Alfred snuggled up around our feet. I turned my head and Eren was staring at me. "We'll get through this. As long as you're here…" Eren didn't finish that thought. He turned away.
"I'm not going away Eren. I'm staying by you." I said. Eren didn't say anything and I wrote in silence. Time to sleep.
9:30 Wintermarch 8th
It's been two days since we all started to travel. Derek was the dwarf from the commoner origin. How he came to be in Denerim, I had no idea but he wasn't all that bad when I asked.
"How a dwarf like me was in Denerim?" Derek asked.
"Well not a dwarf specifically but…" I tried not to sound insensitive. Derek laughed and slapped my lower back. It hurt.
"Well…" Derek rubbed his nose. "There's this thing called a Proving back in Orzammar. They're like human tournaments but not everyone can take the challenge. Stupid deshyrs only allow those of the warrior caste or the noble caste to enter. Tch, anyway I got into some stakes. My old boss wanted this one guy to win to bet on him. Unfortunately, me and my partner caught him dead drunk and lying down. So I decided to put on the armor and fight. I won too! But they caught me and I was off to prison. The boss didn't like that and got me into his prison." Derek shuddered. "I overpowered the guard and got out. I decided to risk going into the Deep Roads and found an opening! Since then, I've been living here and there. I got a good spot in Denerim taking care of horses. My sister is going to blow her mind now that I'm going to be a Grey Warden! Hah!" Derek laughed.
"Are all dwarves as loud as you?" Oren asked.
"Oren!" I scolded but Derek just laughed.
"Nope! I'm a special one." Derek boisterously laughed. I never knew someone who would laugh at everything but I had to admit, his happiness was contagious. Duncan never said anything unless he needed to. He was a man of few words. He was also very intimidating. I knew he was an older man but he was tall, taller than even Eren. It made me feel safer knowing that he was around.
"So loud, you've been doing all the talking. What's your story?" Daveth asked, slowing his pace down to match mine.
"It's not much of a story." I shrugged.
"Well a beautiful dame like you doesn't fall from the sky every day." Daveth said. Heh, if only he knew. "You said that he," He pointed at Eren who was bringing the back, "Was your boss right?"
"I'm his bodyguard." I nodded. Daveth whistled.
"I wouldn't mind having you under me." Daveth chuckled. I rolled my eyes.
"Excuse me while I go puke behind a bush. I'm married." I explained.
"You are missy?!" Derek wondered.
"She was. Her family died." Eren interjected as he moved closer behind me. I felt my face flush in anger. I knew it was the story that Oriana made for me but he didn't need to throw that around. Daveth's face changed.
"I'm very sorry for your loss." Daveth said sincerely. I stayed quiet after that while glaring at Eren.
9:30 Wintermarch 11th
We reached the Circle. Duncan already left earlier in the day. Daveth and Derek took to drinking together at the Spoiled Princess. Oren and Alfred were playing near the water's edge with Eren looking out. I sat next to Eren, hearing Oren's giggles and laughter.
"He's a lot more spirited now. That's good." I sighed. Eren's gaze would sometimes wavered between rage or nothingness. I didn't like it but it was understandable. He lost everything. "I'm worried about you Eren."
"You have reason to. I lost my family, my home, my livelihood. A weaker man would break." Eren said with his voice detached. "But I am holding on strong because Howe needs to die by my hands. I will avenge my family." Eren's voice was trembling with quiet rage. His own fists were trembling.
"You know," Eren looked over to me but I watched the river, "A better person would say 'Don't focus on revenge' but truthfully I want to make Howe pay too. Not just for you but for everyone in the castle. I want to see him suffer." I poured out my true emotions. I'm not a saint. When someone wrongs me, I want to hurt them. "When that time comes, I hope I'm by your side. Oh, you can have the killing blow too." I mentioned. Then I saw Eren bow his head and his body tremble. I thought he would cry again but instead I heard soft chuckling.
"You always continue to surprise me." Eren chuckled softly and cleared his throat. He looked at me and smiled. "Thank you. It will take time to heal…"
"No one gets over something like this overnight Eren. Take your time and, if you need me, I'll be here." I said, squeezing his shoulder gently. Eren stared at me.
"You really mean that don't you?" Eren said softly.
"Yep. I care for you Eren. I don't want to see you sad." I sighed, returning my hand back to my lap. "But I know grief and I know how it feels to…lose everything." I thought back to the two years and plus that I've been here. I couldn't know anything about my family and I had no idea how to get back. I lost everything too.
"I'm sorry." Eren ruffled my hair.
"No it's fine. Even after so long it still hurts. Something like that will always hurt but it hurts less eventually." I lied. It still hurt like someone was stabbing me straight through my chest but I had to give Eren something. Oren came by with a few polished rocks and Eren was playing fetch with Alfred. I wanted to think about my own family, about the life I've lost but…now I'm on the track of getting it back. Hopefully.
We spent our day in the Spoiled Princess after our talk. Derek and Daveth were having a drinking contest. Daveth nearly passed out. As I excused myself to go do my business outside, I noticed a small boat coming from the Circle. Duncan stepped off the boat with a much smaller body right behind him. His mage robes didn't suit the circle. In fact, they were wilder than I thought. They had gloves on and sturdy boots. Duncan noticed me and nodded.
"She is not one of the recruits but it would be best to know your names. This is Talen Surana, a capable mage of the circle." Duncan described. Male elves always looked slightly effeminate to me. He was good looking but had a scowl and frown wrinkles making him look manlier. He crossed his arms and followed Duncan into the spoiled princess. I didn't blame him for his bad attitude. He was betrayed by his best friend, Jowan.
Noble, mage elf, commoner dwarf. Rael isn't here because I was there instead of Duncan. I'm not sure what has happened to the other origins. Now to see which one was going to be the Hero. I prayed for many hours and hoped that Eren would survive. I felt guilty because I befriended Derek and he was a good guy. I didn't want anyone to die but…the taint is stronger than any poison. I hope Eren is stronger than it.
Beta'd by the wonderful FearaNightmare!
We're on our way. Talen, Derek, Eren, who would it be!? Of course there are those that read the original that already know what will happen lol
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Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, KoraKendells, tsohg-a-ma-i (That's going to come up later so remember), Written Angel, and Not-Gonna-Update for your lovely reviews! Please Review! :D