9:30 Wintermarch 12th
Talen was…interesting to say the least. Oren was by his side quickly and Talen warmed up to him. He showed that he could conjure fire in his hand. Oren was frightful of it at first but Talen got him to calm down.
"Magic can be used to help people. It's not always used to throw fireballs but those are fun." Talen smirked.
"I thought all mages were scary people." Oren mumbled.
"There are a few but I'm not one of them so you don't have to worry." Talen stretched. "Still, it's good to finally breath the air but…it's so cold!" Talen complained.
"Please don't launch a fireball to make yourself warmer." Daveth hoped. Out of all of us, he was the one that feared Talen. Talen scoffed, his golden braid swinging.
"Come on, we're not supposed to use magic like that." He rolled his eyes.
"You're not what I expected elf!" Derek laughed.
"And what did you expect me to be?" Talen glared.
"An old spindly man." Derek slapped his back. Talen grunted in pain and almost doubled over. Talen got a scary smile.
"I'll show you spindly…" He grumbled until Eren tapped him on the head. Talen was taller than me but only a head. While the top of my head reached Eren's shoulders, Talen's reached the top of Eren's chin.
"Be respectful." Eren looked down at him. Talen huffed and kept going.
"So…how long have you been in the circle?" I asked. Talen looked over at me. That was definitely the face of annoyance.
"Do you really need to ask that? You're not even a recruit so why bother learning about me?" Talen snapped back. This guy…!
"I'm only curious. The only mages I've ever known were blood mages and both tried to kill me. I only want to know." I huffed, walking further to Eren. I'd rather not deal with his type of personality. Talen squeaked when Alfred barked at him. Eren and I had a good laugh about it.
9:30 Wintermarch 14th
We've arrived in Lothering. The chill was creeping up on me the more we traveled. I didn't want Eren to leave but I knew he had to eventually. I was able to grab a room for me and Oren at the inn near the Chantry. Duncan had already fulfilled his purpose. Now Eren had to fulfill his end of the bargain. Oren was sleeping peacefully in our room. He was exhausted from the trip. I don't blame him. We nearly trekked half of Ferelden in a week.
Eren was up in the early morning. I knew he wouldn't want us having a tearful farewell and tried to leave as soon as possible. I was awake though. It was hard to sleep nowadays. I followed him outside near the highway exit where Duncan and the others were.
"You're finally leaving." I said. It was cold and I was trembling. There was a small fog surrounding the village and the sky was beginning to turn blue.
"I only agreed so you and Oren could join me. If I have to be a Grey Warden to seek my brother, then so be it." Eren replied walking over the bridge. We were in front of the Chantry and the chanters were already setting up their board.
"Eren what if you die?" I wondered. Eren stopped and looked at me. "There's a chance…you're going to be surrounded by darkspawn and then the…" I couldn't mention the ritual. Eren got closer and hugged me tight.
"I won't die, I promise. Wait for me. I'll return." Eren reassured me. I hugged him tightly. As much as I always said that Eren was only my boss, I did care for him. He was my friend.
"Be careful ok?" I said as Eren let me go.
"I will. Take care of Oren for me and if I don't come back-" Eren looked down.
"Don't say that." I interrupted. Eren's gaze softened.
"If I don't come back, take Eren to Arl Eamon. He was a friend of my father. He'll understand." Eren said. I nodded. He left to go regroup with the others and I went back to the room. Oren was sleeping peacefully and I decided to sleep as well.
I woke up in the fade. I sighed as I realized my background has changed. It looked like the trail that I took with the others. I already felt a pang in my heart because Eren wasn't going to be here. Halo floated on top of my head. I sat down.
"Eren has just left with the others to become a Grey Warden, if he survives of course. Halo, what do I do if Eren dies?" I asked, hugging myself. Halo floated in front of me. "I did all of this in order to save Eren. What if he dies? What should I do? I'm afraid." I confessed.
'You have no choice but to walk forward.' Halo said.
"…Yeah. I have to get home even if…even if Eren won't be there." I wiped my eyes. "I always prayed that Eren was going to be the Grey Warden but what if I was wrong? What if it's the others? What if all this time I was hoping for something that won't happen?" I rambled on. My heart was pounding. "In the end, I wasn't able to save everyone! I'm a failure! I should have tried harder! I should have-" I wailed. I didn't have to stay strong anymore.
I wailed like a child, crying with my face in my hands. I had no idea that any of this would work. I only put my faith in something that might not ever happen. I could have been leading Eren to his death for all I knew. It terrified me. And then I remembered of my failure at the Highever Castle. I wasn't able to protect everyone. Oriana, Bryce, Eleanor, they all died because of me! It was all my fault! I should have told everyone what was going to happen even if they didn't listen to me! To hell with looking like a madwoman! I would take it all back if only I could have saved more.
But I didn't. I let it happen…I let them die.
After my episode, I realized I was bent in on myself. My knees would have killed me back in the real world. I sniffed, my nose stuffy with boogers. I grabbed my shirt and blew into it. Usually after crying I would feel better. Instead, I felt the emptiness spread. My guilt was crushing into me. I sat against a wall while Halo floated worriedly in front of me.
"I failed Halo." I said in defeat. Halo was wondering what to do and what to say to comfort me. I just felt it from him. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the trunk of a tree. Before I felt a hug coming from Halo. I opened my eyes and I was covered in light. It felt like love, comfort, warmth, and home. I cried again but this was different. I hugged Halo back.
'You did your best. No one can fault you for that. You must take this failure and learn from it. Become stronger and then you'll be able to protect your loved ones.' Halo said. I nodded sleepily. In the end I ended up falling asleep until late at night.
I gave myself some time to groggily write before going down and getting food for me and Oren. We ate our soup and bread silently. Oren went back to sleep shortly. It's time to join him. It gets cold at night.
9:30 Wintermarch 15th
Last night was hard for me but this morning really put my hopes in a blender.
Loghain and his troops came through. They were marching through the village since the highway was broken. There were numerous soldiers. That meant that Cailan was dead. I had Oren stay in the Chantry while the soldiers marched. I took a breath to steady myself before I went up to the soldiers.
"Please, someone tell me what happen in Ostagar." I pleaded. Some soldiers kept on marching while a few gave me glances of pity. I grabbed a soldier's arm. "Please!" He seemed to have a soft spot and stopped.
"The fighting in Ostagar proved futile. The darkspawn ran over our numbers and the Grey Wardens left the king to die. They are traitors to the crown." The soldier explained.
"What? No, Grey Wardens wouldn't do that." I shook my head.
"It's true. They left our beloved King to die. If you see a blonde elf mage, a red headed dwarf, or a man with dark hair and blue eyes, you must turn them in." The soldier took back his arm and went back into the march. I bit my lip. It seemed that the story was going on as it was supposed to. Then I started thinking. He said Grey Wardens…plural.
Blonde, elf mage was definitely Talen. A red headed dwarf was, of course, Derek. And…the man with dark hair and blue eyes. It was Eren! Eren was alive. As the soldiers marched on, I felt elated! Of course there was no one I could tell. Instead I started thinking of my next steps.
I had a thought to go into Ostagar myself to try to find them in Flemeth's hut but it was too dangerous. I had Oren and I couldn't leave him alone.
I went back into the Chantry. Oren finally had playmates with the refugee children. They were surrounded by a Chantry Mother, telling them about the origin on the Blight. I leaned against the wall when the bell rang and people started to rush in as the Brother was setting up the sermon. I didn't want to stay in there and left. Oren was good where he was.
I went out and the last few straggling soldiers were hurrying to catch up to the horde. People were flocking around, wondering about the events that just passed. Cailan is dead and the Grey Wardens were to blame. I cursed silently and started to wander. Lothering was much bigger in real life than in game. It wasn't just a small village. It was surrounded by farms that were close to it. I went toward the outskirts to a familiar chanting that I've been hearing over the past few days
I had wondered how to approach the Qunari. He was sitting in his cage. His gaunt face was the result of being starved for who knows how long. Should I be upfront? He probably wouldn't even pay any attention to me. So I took a breath and decided to bluff. As I neared his cage, his chant became clearer.
"Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun." Sten muttered. He was in a meditative stance. I heard him breath out and repeat the chant again. I walked closer to him.
"Struggle is an illusion. The tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. There is nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the Qun." I translated. That got Sten to look at me.
"Hearing the Qun from a woman? Now I know I have gone mad." Sten muttered. I lightly chuckled.
"I guess so. It's odd seeing a Qunari here out of all places." I said, sitting down on the ground opposite him.
"I am not here to amuse you." Sten glared.
"I'm not here to be amused. I recognized what you said. I used to have a tal-vashoth friend that explained that to me." I lied. Sten eyed me warily. "They said that the army failed, that the Grey Wardens failed. The darkspawn are coming." I explained.
"They are formidable beasts." Sten grumbled.
"Aren't you scared?" I asked. Sten didn't answer. "You're going to be stuck in this cage if they do come to Lothering."
"As they are. Why must you remind me of my fate? Leave, I have nothing to offer you human." Sten looked away.
"Not to me no but the army? They mentioned that Grey Wardens are still alive." I mentioned. That got Sten's attention. "I have a friend in the wardens and, trust me, they are going to need all the help they need."
"What are you referring to?" Sten glared.
"I'm offering a way out. I don't know your story," Lie, "But I know you want out. I've seen your type fight and they fight like beasts. We're going to need that to fight darkspawn." I saw Sten mull it over. I got up. "If I come back with my Grey Warden friend, will you consider it?" I wondered. Sten sat in silence until he looked up to me.
"…If." He said. That brought my hope back up. I smiled and nodded. I left with a skip in my step. Then I noticed the wagons starting to come in from the bridge. Refugees were already starting to flock. I was glad that I didn't leave anything in the room but, just in case, I went back and locked it. I went back into the Chantry and there was only a Brother chanting a few things. I went to the Mother and saw Oren teaching a smaller child how to read.
I rubbed my eyes. I was bluffing to Sten of course. I didn't know whether Eren would recruit him or not. I ended up sitting on a pew, staring at the stained glass that showed the different passages of Andraste. I felt defeated and drained even after knowing that Eren was still alive. I kept on looking and examining the Chantry. It had a lot of large stained glass that, when the sun shone through, colored the inside. The torches were going to keep up the light inside and it was warmer inside than out. The Brother's chanting was like a sweet lullaby putting me to sleep until I felt someone sit next to me.
"The Chant always calms a weary soul." If my eyebrows could disappear into my hairline, they would have done so then. I turned to look and a familiar redhead was there.
Leliana.
She was giving me a small smile with her braid on the right side of her face. Her hair was cut short to her chin and she smelled flowery. I looked away, not wanting to seem creepy. I let out a long drawn out sigh.
"Do I look weary?" I asked sincerely. Leliana lightly chuckled.
"The refugees come with the same face and yet you came before them. It means that you are carrying a burden that is similar and yet different." Leliana explained. I did a low hum.
"Does my face really tell you all of that?" I wondered.
"No but you just did right now." Leliana answered. I looked over at her and she had a playful smile. "Your armor is of fine make as well as your weapons. It's odd seeing your type here." She explained. That made me think of a warning sign. Of course she would be wary of me. She would think I'm working for Marjolaine.
"Yeah, I'm a weird type that's true. Actually, I came here with a Grey Warden and his recruits. One of his recruits was my boss. His name was Eren Cousland." I explained, settling more into the pew and resting my head on the board.
"Cousland? Of Highever?" Leliana asked. I nodded. "But they were…"
"Massacred." I harshly whispered, glaring at Andraste. "I was there." I looked toward Oren who was now reading to a few other kids. "We barely got out alive." I sighed.
"I am so sorry." Leliana said sincerely. I looked at her. I huffed.
"It wasn't your fault. They came, they killed, and we got away." I explained, rubbing my eyes and sighing.
"Nia! They have many books here and stories about heroes!" Oren came up to me excitedly. I smiled warmly and ruffled his head.
"That's good Oren. Keep on playing. We'll go back to eat when it gets darker ok?"
"Ok. The Mother gave me some food so I'm not that hungry." Oren said and sat next to me, reading his new book. I smiled warmly. He reminded me of my own son.
"I am surprised. Everyone has been gossiping that the Couslands were staunch Orlesian supporters." Leliana said. I scoffed.
"They loved Ferelden. Whatever you heard? It's shit." I seethed. Leliana nodded.
"You said that one of your friends is a Grey Warden?" She spoke softly and looked around for anyone that was listening. Most likely from the news that the Grey Wardens are wanted. I leaned my elbows on my knees and motioned her closer.
"Eren Cousland is a Warden. Don't believe Loghain's lies. He would never betray the crown." I said with confidence. I got up. I had enough of the Chantry. "Come on Oren, let's go get something to eat."
"Ok." He started to follow me. As I got to the door of the Chantry, I heard someone following me.
"Wait." Leliana was behind me. She bit her lip and, I had to admit, she looked cute. "If you are going to follow him and stop the Blight, may I join?" She wondered.
"Why? You're just a cloister sister." I repeated from in-game.
"I had a dream about the Blight, about falling into the darkness. There is so much that we can all lose. I cannot sit idly by while the darkspawn ravage Ferelden. I was not always a Sister." Leliana's eyes sparkled with cunning.
"Even if I said you can join, it's not my decision. It's going to be the others that will decide for me." I explained.
"Then please convince them. I am sure my talents can be of use." Leliana said before another refugee family came in. "We will speak later." She nodded. I got out of the Chantry with a smirk on my lips.
Two for two.
Beta'd by FearaNightmare!
In order to explain the Highever Massacre, Howe convinced that the Couslands were in league with Orlais to Loghain. Just some interesting information I found while reading. Woo! And there we have it. Multiple Grey Wardens :3
Shout out to Chaos Verto and a little girl blue for following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, Syutaku, and Jack Redhawke (I hope my reply helped) for reviewing! Please Review!