9:30 Wintermarch ?
With the demon gone, Talen and Wynne went over to Irving and the other senior enchanters. I leaned against Eren with exhaustion, not really caring how anyone saw us in that moment. I heard a few words from their conversation but didn't focus on it. I was so tired.
"Everyone, time to go back down." Wynne said over the chamber.
"Ugh, so many stairs. Reminds me of my home." Derek grunted as he hefted his hammer back. After all of this fighting, all I wanted to do was fall asleep on the floor. I saw Talen help Irving down the stairs. Of course once we got down there, we encountered a new problem. Cullen stood up from where he knelt the first time with the barrier gone.
"So these are the mages that survived?" He growled.
"That is enough young man. We have saved First Enchanter Irving per Greagoir's orders." Wynne shut him up before he could say anything.
"Then I'll have a word with him." Cullen scoffed. It was a silent walk back. I found myself in the back watching how the others yawned and stumbled slightly. We were all exhausted. I wondered how Talen was doing when I saw Cullen go to a Templar soldier, put his hands together, and prayed. "They didn't deserve this." He quietly seethed. There was something about the way he was acting that made me stop.
He picked up a sword and with a glare on his face, went toward the group. I stepped in front of him. Now by no means am I intimidating. I am five foot and one inch. Nearly everyone, except dwarves and elves, tower over me. Same with Cullen with his Templar plate armor. He glared down at me.
"What are you thinking of doing?" I demanded.
"Nothing that you would like to know. Now-" He tried to side step but I stood in front of him again.
"If you're thinking of hurting the mages, then you've got another thing coming." My voice getting lower.
"You have no idea what they have gone through." He said through gritted teeth as he got closer to me. "They may have turned, having demons inside, hiding!"
"You're not in the right mind to make decisions like that so put the sword down." I said calmly. I noticed that everyone had already left. It was only me and Cullen. I had the upperhand though. Cullen was weak with his time spent in the barrier.
"You cannot order me. You're just a woman who knows nothing about the danger those mages possess!" Cullen berated me.
"And I know innocents when I look at them!" I stood my ground.
"Innocents!? How dare you call them innocent when their talents are the reason why so many of us have died!" Cullen shoved me but I was prepared and held my ground.
"Put the sword down!" I yelled. He growled while swinging at me. I saw it though. He swung high and I positioned myself behind him and used my knuckles to hit his knees. He knelt down and I kicked at the hand that held the sword. It clinged and slid across the floor. Cullen gave me a glare that would kill lesser people, I swear. I scowled. "I'm not even a mage and you're going to attack me.
"You're protecting them!" Cullen shouted.
"Children! The mages that are left are either the seniors, the apprentices, and children! You would kill someone who doesn't ask for this when they are born!" I argued.
"Those monsters killed off my friends! They tortured them with demonic visions until they're own withdrawal became paradise and you're asking me not to kill them!?" Cullen nearly roared as he stood over me. I stared into his eyes. They were so full with hatred.
"Yes." I stated. Cullen started to pace around and I was wondering if I should leave him there and join the others.
"They forced visions, made me think that I had…She was someone I admired greatly and yet they…I couldn't tell reality from dreams! And my friends…they…tore each other apart and…" Cullen sobbed as he collapsed against the wall. My anger dissipated. This was a broken man and I kicked myself when I forgot about it for a second.
I sighed and sat next to him. He kept on sobbing and near wailing for a good minute. I hummed underneath my breath as I heard him starting to breath regularly. He took a look at me and his anger was gone.
"Why are you still here?" He asked weakly.
"Because it looked like you didn't want to be alone." I said softly. "I lost my family a few years back. My son and daughter and my husband. I don't know where they are and I don't know if they're even waiting for me back home. In the end, I ended up in the Highever Castle working with the Couslands."
"I heard about the massacre." Cullen said softly.
"Yeah. I was there. They killed everyone in there. Me, Bryce's youngest, and his grandson escaped but I don't know about others. I can't say I lived what you lived through but…we were put into a Sloth demon's dream too. Everyone was lost in their dream or nightmares." I explained. Cullen was listening intently.
"What did you dream of?" He asked. Even if I succumbed to the Sloth demon and Halo didn't help me, I knew what I would have dreamed of.
"My family…I lost them again and I had to do it myself." I chuckled but there was no humor in it. "I don't know you. You don't know me but we're both wrecked. Please, for…Andraste's sake or the Maker's…can we stop killing?" My voice broke. I cleared it a few times before we settled into silence.
"…Fine." Cullen gulped. I sighed in relief. "But I will be telling my Commander my worries."
"That's fine." I nodded. I got up while Cullen looked away. I patted his head out of reflex. I realized what I was doing and got embarrassed. "Anyway, I'm going to go join the others so yeah. I'll see you down there."
"Thank you." Cullen said and I looked back. I think I did a tired smile and nodded. I wasn't focusing on anything as I walked back down the stairs. Before I knew it, I was down in the apprentices quarters. I followed the hallway where we entered and I saw Talen, Wynne, Irving, and Greagoir talking with each other. Someone tapped my shoulder and it was Eren. He was carrying a sleeping Oren.
"They're talking about the Circle and what to do. Wynne told us to use the apprentice rooms to sleep. We've been fighting for the whole night. We need some rest." Eren rubbed his face. I nodded. I followed him and I saw most of the children and the few mages already sleeping. This room was cleared of bodies for now. Everyone has chosen a bunk to sleep in.
I was exhausted and took off my armor. I put my pack down to get out a change of clothes but I decided against it. I used up all my power to write. Time to pass out.
9:30 Wintermarch 21st
It was hard to tell time since there weren't many windows in the tower. The only windows were high up and I doubt they had ladders that long. I was in deep sleep with no dreams, thankfully. What woke me up was a mad rush to the bathroom and a person sobbing. Once I had done my business, and they had running water fancy that, anyway, I followed the sobbing.
At first I thought It was going to be Cullen again. I followed the sound all the way toward where the downstairs storage was. On the stairs, without his signature braid, sat Talen. He looked up when he heard me. He hurriedly went up the stairs and cleared his throat.
"Ah, Nia, wh-what are you doing up? It's um…" Talen wiped his tears. I felt my heart cry to him.
"It was tough losing your home wasn't it Talen." I stated. Talen flinched.
"I'll get over it." Talen said softly.
"No you won't." I shook my head. "It's going to hurt for a while. At this point my mind is still reeling from the massacre that I experienced." I sighed and looked down. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll awake in the castle again. It won't stop hurting but over time it will hurt less."
"How do you know?" Talen's lip was quivering.
"Because even after three years it still hurts to have lost my family. It doesn't bring me to tears, most of the time, but it hurts, here." I touched where my heart would be. Talen looked crestfallen.
"Nia…I'm 18 years old. I…I had a best friend and he…betrayed me. If it wasn't for Duncan I would be a tranquil or worse! All of a sudden I'm a Grey Warden and then people come up to me expecting that I know everything to do in a Blight! The only Blights that I know of were hundreds of years ago! I feel like I have to be prepared for anything but…I'm not!" Talen let out a sharp exhale as more tears came out. "I have barely stepped out of tower for anything! I don't know anything and yet I have to know everything! What am I supposed to do? I'm just…" Talen sobbed.
"A kid." I answered. He let out a frustrated growl.
"I need to…I need to…" He couldn't breathe right so I went up and pulled him into a hug. I shushed him softly and patted his head.
"You don't need to do anything Talen. That's why we're here. If you don't understand something, then ask. If you feel lost, then find us. I know you're a Grey Warden and people are going to expect things of you but you're not the only one. You have Eren, Derek, and even Alistair will be there for you. You're not alone Talen. Right now, no one is expecting you to be strong. You lost your home, you lost your friends, you lost everything. Take a page out of my book and just let it out. You have time. For now you're not Talen the Grey Warden, you're just Talen." I consoled him. He hugged me tight and wailed into my shoulder.
There was a big weight on Talen's shoulder but it wasn't his burden to bear alone. He was lucky that he had Eren, Derek, and Alistair to be there for him. I continued patting his head and humming a small lullaby. My shoulder was soaked but I didn't mind. I can see why Talen was a compassionate person. He tried so hard to hide it but it was there. He was awkward as all young men were. It was understandable.
Finally, he started to calm down. He still hiccuped and his eyes were swollen and red. He took out a handkerchief and blew into it. He didn't look at me, he only looked at the floor. I patted his head again.
"You're doing good Talen." I said. He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes again.
"You're not going to tell anyone right?" He sighed. I chuckled and shook my head.
"No I won't. You don't have to worry about that. How are you feeling?" I asked.
"Better." He exhaled. "Thanks and sorry. I was trying to be…strong." He mumbled.
"There are times to be strong and there are times that we need to cry Talen. It's not a bad thing to cry to let things out you know?" I said. He nodded.
"Will you two need baths to be drawn?" A tranquil came up to us.
"Yeah if you can, thank you." Talen said. The tranquil nodded and went toward the rooms. "They take care of us around here. We should get the others up. I'm pretty sure it's late afternoon."
"Damn, we've been sleeping for a while huh?" I chuckled.
"Yeah." Talen smiled. I gasped and he recoiled.
"Oh my God, you actually smiled!" I giggled. Talen grew red.
"I smile sometimes!" Talen frowned.
"Rarely." I laughed. Talen scowled before smiling again.
"Anyway, we'd best get clean. We don't know when's the next time we'll have baths like this. Unless you'd prefer the freezing water outside. If you do, then you are welcome to take a dip." Talen shrugged.
"Ha, ha. So funny." I rolled my eyes. Talen and I went back to the apprentice's quarters. Everyone else was still sleeping thankfully. I took out the spare clothing I had and the tranquil called me into the woman's bathing areas. I sighed in ecstasy as I felt the warm water encompass all of my body. It felt so good, I contemplated a nap in the water but I knew I couldn't. The female tranquil brought me some herbal soap and stood until I was ready to get out. It made me bathe faster.
I used the soap to semi wash my hair at least. Then I realized that some of it was singed from the explosions. I have to ask someone to cut it shorter at least. I sighed. I barely had enough hair as it is. After I was done soaking, the tranquil gave me the towel while also putting down my clean clothes near an overturned rack.
"Um thank you. What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Thea. Here are your clothes. I must get the bath ready for the next one." She said in a monotone. I nodded while quickly drying myself. Even out of the cold, stone didn't retain much heat. I was shivering as I clothed myself in my long sleeved shirt and pants. I put on my socks and boots and came out. I found a brush on the floor and used that for my hair. I didn't have a mirror to see how it was but I didn't care. I wasn't aiming to be the next top model here.
After my bath, everyone began stirring. Not only that, my stomach began growling. I went back to my bunk and started to clean my daggers. They were scorched in certain parts but they were still sharp. After my weapons, I started to do damage control on my armor. There were a few dents but nothing that some time with a hammer won't fix. Another tranquil came by to tell me that dinner was going to be served.
"Dinner huh? We slept that much?" I wondered outloud as I grabbed the hammer from Derek's pack and started getting out the dents from my chest plate.
"Nia!" Oren came over and hugged me. I hugged him back. "Did you destroy all the abodimanations?" I laughed.
"It's abominations Oren and yes. We saved the circle." Or what's left of it anyway, I thought.
"I'm glad you didn't die." Oren hugged me again. It hurt my heart to hear that from a boy like him.
"Um…" I looked over and saw Solana. My hammer dropped. I quickly recovered though and got it. "Oren, go to Uncle Eren." Oren looked at Solana and went away to look for his uncle.
"He's cute." Solana chuckled. I nodded.
"Is there something I can help with?" I asked. She bit her lip and played with her robes. I noticed she has also changed out of the ones that were covered in filth and blood.
"Did…" She opened her mouth a few more times while her face gradually got redder. "Were you the one that found C-Cullen?" She squeaked out. Damn she was cute.
"Yeah. I'm guessing you talked to him already?" My hammer rang as I went back to my armor.
"N-No. I couldn't…he wouldn't…Something inside of him changed." She whispered. "But I'm glad you saved him."
"You like him huh." I stated. Her face grew red.
"There was, I am, there are things…I know that he's a Templar and I'm a mage…we can't…" Solana fidgeted and sighed.
"Just because you're a mage and he's a Templar doesn't account for anything. If you love someone, you might as well take a chance." I put my hammer down as I inspected my plate and it wasn't bad. "Unfortunately what you guys could have had, has changed." Solana gave me a confused look.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Cullen isn't going to be the same. He was tortured by Uldred. That sort of trauma stays with you. Be careful around him." I said. I saw Eren walked toward my bunk.
"But he knows me, he won't hurt me." She shook her head. I stared at her.
"You were hurt too weren't you?" I stood up and she flinched. She looked down.
"I saw…everyone dying and I…I'm not like Talen. I couldn't do anything." She whispered. "I could only save a few. Then the nightmares started…" She gulped. I remembered the nightmares and dreams I had to witness when we were trapped by the Sloth demon.
"We all saw horrible things but you still have your home and your life. Many don't get that. Stick to my advice and stay away from Cullen." I warned her again as I waked over to Eren.
"Where's Oren?" I asked.
"I sent him with the other young kids. We need to talk." Eren immediately said.
"I already know that but you do know that there isn't a real private place here." I crossed my arms. Eren groaned slightly before motioning me to follow him. We ended up in the practice rooms. We went behind a few overturned bookshelves. I leaned against a pillar while Eren paced and rubbed his neck.
"There is something that I've been keeping from you." Eren cleared his throat.
"You're in love with me." I stated. Eren did a double take. "Hey I know I'm oblivious as hell but I can take a hint when it's shoved in my face." I shrugged. Eren let out a long exhale as he sat down on the overturned bookshelf and put his face in his hands.
"I never wanted you to know. I came to terms of never being able to stay with you and yet…" Eren shook his head and sighed. "Those emotions don't vanish outright." I felt uncomfortable. I have never seen Eren in that light and I never will.
"When did you…know?" I wondered.
"I had a suspicion but it was confirmed when you left for Denerim that one week." He cleared his throat. Well so many things just made sense.
"Jesus Christ how did I miss it?" I laughed before Eren gave me a flat stare and I stifled it.
"I didn't want things to…" He got up and started to pace. "I didn't want things to change. Whenever I tried to, for lack of the better word, woo you, it went over your head. At first I thought you were playing hard to get until I realized that no, you are this thick headed." He chuckled.
"Hey." I pouted.
"Then of course you told me that you believe your family is still alive." Eren frowned.
"They are." I stomped my foot.
"And that came with the realization that I could never be with you." Eren stopped and stared at me. That uncomfortable feeling came back. "Do you know how much it hurt? Knowing the one thing, the one person who sees you for you, and you love for it, doesn't see you the same way. It sodding hurt like the flames that consumed Andraste." Eren scoffed as he cleared his throat again. "I was going to continue like we used to until these feelings stopped pestering me and yet…" He sighed.
"I saw the dream." I ended the sentence. Eren nodded. He rubbed his face.
"The damn demon…took what I wanted the most and made it come true. My family, my home, and you." Eren's face contorted in emotional pain. "Twisted creature. I'm glad it died." We spent a moment in silence.
"Eren you know I don't blame you right? The heart is unpredictable." I shrugged. Eren eyed me warily.
"You're not going to slap me?" Eren wondered.
"Why? I get why you didn't want to tell me and I don't blame you. I'm surprised you didn't tell me for so long but I know where you're coming from. I've been in your position a few times too." I sighed. "Even after all of this, I want you to know that you're a good friend of mine Eren. I care about you, maybe not at the point that you do for me, but it's a big deal for me. No matter what happens, I'll keep fighting on your side." I explained. Eren stared and then laughed.
"I knew it was hopeless but this rejection is…" Eren sighed softly. "I need a moment alone." I nodded and walked away. It was something that he had to go through himself. I couldn't help him anymore but Eren was strong. I knew that he'll get over this.
Beta'd by FearaNightmare!
I kinda forgot how young Talen was in my last story, thrust into a world he knew nothing about except in books. Of course it would be too much but the good thing is he has the others!
Shout out to FerrilsBlood for favoriting! Thank you Chimera Spyke and Undeadhero43 for reviewing! PLEASE REVIEW!