"How many times do I have to tell you that it's creepy you hang out in a girls' bathroom, toilet-breath?" Kou stood at the door, not entirely willing to bypass the sacred barrier even at the invitation of his surprisingly friendly target. Maybe he was missing something but it didn't seem like Hanako was actually all that bad. After all, he would have probably died dealing with those Misaki Stairs without his help. Why would an evil apparition help an exorcist?

"Oh, come now, it's not like anyone will see you! It's already way after-school so no one else is going to wander up here."

"Well what about Nene? She'd think I was a total perv if she caught me hanging around in there."

"My little assistant? She's been sent home for the day as well, a little early too I might add, haha!"

Kou still felt pretty unsure about this whole scenario. Why was Hanako laughing? Didn't really seem funny to him. Seemed safe to think that the spirit was probably up to something. "You've still not given me a real reason to, you know?"

"Aww, do you really need a reason to visit a friend's home? I just want to show you my room!"

"Okay, but, why?" He must have really been missing something, undoubtedly a foul trick from the spirit. Since when did they qualify as friends? He only hung around to keep the apparition from doing anything to Nene!

Hanako took a step closer, eyes leering dangerously as he stepped into Kou's personal space. Kou didn't back off, though, simply tilting his head and looking down at the dark-haired specter. He watched Hanako's hands very closely to make sure he hadn't drawn that knife of his, but he saw no such thing. It was a little bit awkward, though, feeling Hanako's breath landing on his neck.

Hanako's voice switched from that typical laid-back, overly relaxed to that tone he liked to use to mess with Nene. "You'd be surprised at all the things you can do in a stall." One of the spirit's fingers started working its way up his right leg, starting at the knee. Kou still couldn't figure out what exactly was going on here.

"What do you mean?"

Hanako backed up, smiling broadly. Kou didn't know how the hell such an apparition could have a cute... he shook his head. He hadn't meant cute, no, he meant inviting. But in an evil way, like inviting someone to their death!

"You're looking a little flustered, are you feeling alright?" There was that overly innocent voice, totally wrong-sounding coming from such a spirit.

"Yeah, I'm fine! It's just... I'm wearing a lot of clothes and it's really warm on this floor."

Hanako just tilted his head slightly, eyes clearly questioning him. Kou gulped.

"Well, why didn't you say so! The windows always help keep this floor a little cooler, so please, come inside!"

Kou may not have known why, exactly, it felt like stepping into that bathroom was stepping into a battlefield he would never be able to escape. But, damn it, he was Kou of the Minamoto Clan, a proud exorcist, and he was going to figure this out by facing it head-on! He took one step forward, crossing the threshold and finally entering the girls' bathroom. He quickly swivelled his head all around, making sure there were no girls hiding anywhere or maybe even cameras of some kind. Seeing none, he looked back at his target, who had a smirk on his face like that of a snake.

Why did it feel like he was the prey?

"See? No big deal, huh? Now welcome to my humble home, kept quite clean with the aid of my lovely assistant in recent times!"

He felt himself relax slightly, a dangerous move when in the home of an apparition but he couldn't help it. Part of him had expected to either be immediately ambushed by girls waiting in the corners, or perhaps to be teleported to some other nightmarish place like with the stairs, or maybe to even be stabbed. Compared to that, a friendly line from Hanako didn't seem so bad even if it was still unnerving.

"Yeah, thanks. So, when are you going to tell me the real reason you're doing all this?"

"So distrusting. Have I really done anything so bad to you that I deserve such treatment?

Kou thought for a second. "Maybe not, but good spirits don't hang around our world like you do."

Hanako's face straightened up, and once again he erased the distance between them. "Oh, do you think I'm a bad spirit? Maybe a... naughty apparition?" Kou once again felt one of Hanako's fingers on his legs, except this time much higher. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath as it rose, until the finger scraped against the front of his... He gasped for breath, suddenly, as Hanako took a step back and started rolling in the air, laughing.

"H-hey, what's so funny?"

"HAHAHA, you are, silly!"

Kou felt a bit of righteous anger at the accusation. "You're the one acting all weird, not me, toilet-breath!"

The ghost, for some reason, looked a little hurt. Like a pouting puppy. "Why would you say that? I'm not acting that weird, am I? Just being my usual self..."

Honestly, what game was this apparition playing at to make him feel bad for an accusation that held as much venom as a stuffed animal?

"N-no, but, you know, your usual self is weird enough"

"I thought you liked my usual self. I'm nothing at all like all those other spirits you deal with, right?"

"... True. Gah! What's the point of all this, you trying to start a fight?" At this point, with whatever was going on, he would have been more comfortable in the heat of combat.

"Of course not!" Back to Happy Hanako. "I hope you've enjoyed this look at my house; it's quite the step above any other bathroom in this school, don't ya think?"

"Well, yeah. Does that mean I can go?"

"Silly! Silly silly silly. You haven't even seen my room yet!"

At this point, he was perfectly happy to just peek in the bathroom stall and leave so that this strange situation would end and everything would go back to normal. Clearly he had made too big a deal of stepping in here in the first place, and if he just quickly dealt with everything he'd be clear to go.

"Alright, whatever, which stall is your 'room' anyway?"

Hanako smiled that cute... Kou shook his head again. Hanako smiled that devilish smile, pointing toward a certain stall. He took a quick breath, collecting his spirit as he conjured up the courage to walk across the bathroom. Once he got there, he took a peek inside the stall, only to see a toilet. Really didn't amount to much after all.

"Can I go now?"

Hanako rested his head on Kou's shoulder, leaving Kou completely baffled as he looked down into his large eyes. "Of course you can. But I'd really like it if you took a closer look inside the toilet." Hanako had switched to that teasing voice he usually used on Nene again. Kou didn't know why it made him shiver. "I'd really like it if you at least put your head inside."

Oh, okay, so that's where this was going? He was going to put his head in the toilet, Hanako was going to try to flush it, and that was going to be the end of it? Honestly he expected something more with how much that apparition had been talking things up this whole time. Kou stepped inside the stall, taking a few steps forward. He gulped, figuring it would be best to just get it over with. He lowered his head to the toilet, bending over in the process.

"Nothing here!" He said, playing along, waiting for the sound of water in order to immediately lift his head and start yelling at the spirit for his stupid joke. After several seconds, when that didn't happen, he started to wonder if he had misread the situation somehow. And that's when the stall door closed behind him. Of course! Hanako was just trying to make him look like an idiot, and now had slammed the stall closed, floating around probably just outside the window laughing at him or something. Well, how dare he try to make a fool of a Minamoto!

Kou quickly stood straight, turned around, and moved forward, only to find his path immediately blocked by the target of his ill-will. He walked directly into Hanako, and before he knew what to think about that, he felt something strange. The two of them were touching; he felt something on his lips. It was Hanako's lips. They were... kissing. It was his first kiss. With an apparition. With a guy!

Kou backed away from it fast, unable to find too much room to retreat in the stall. "What the hell man? You playing with me or something!?"

Similar to the rest of this strange event, he didn't really know what he expected. But Hanako was fully committed to that absolutely ridiculously cute smile, and it was really hard for his head to think straight because, damn it, he was a real sucker for a cute smile and Hanako's definitely qualified! Man, what was this day turning into?

"Don't tell me you didn't like it, Kou-kun?" Since when in the HELL did Hanako call him that? And why was it hot?

"I... I mean, it was definitely unexpected!"

"Oh? So how about this one?" And just like that, Hanako was leaning in again. Okay, this time was different. He was prepared. He was not going to be surprised, and there was no way in hell he was going to back down like a wimp again! Definitely not!

Seconds later, when their lips met again, Kou realized that he had hyped himself into the kiss rather than into avoiding the kiss. But he was definitely not going to retreat, hell no, not Minamoto Kou! ... and he did it again!

They separated after a few more seconds, Kou really not knowing how to deal with all that was going on.

"To answer your earlier question..." Hanako was back to the teasing voice, with his eyes narrowed, "I'd be willing to play with you however you like. But, that means you have to play along." Then his face turned back to normal. "But, what do you think? Did you like it? I know I did!"

Well, as long as Hanako admitted to liking it, it was fine right? "It wasn't bad. Don't really have anything to compare it to though?"

"Psh, like that matters! You think I come packaged with tons of experience? I just go with the flow!"

Kou narrowed his eyes. "Yeah? That so?"

"Yep!"

Good then, he wasn't completely outclassed by the spectre in this area. He needed to calm down and think rationally; yeah, that was a good idea. It was completely ridiculous for him to be led around by a guy with a similar level of experience.

"Then how about this!" Often times, Kou had a way of doing things before his mind had really thought them all the way through. And that's how he ended up kissing Hanako, pushing him backward ever so slightly against the stall door in the process. This time, there may have been some tongue because it's not like he had any idea what he was doing but it felt kinda nice so... maybe that was right?

"Well now, that was just silly..." Kou didn't know what to think of seeing Hanako with saliva on and around the lips. "I could have easily phased through the stall door and left you kissing a door."

"But why didn't you then? I'd have sure looked stupid."

"You don't really need my help in that regard, now do you?"

"Shut the hell up, toilet-breath!"

"Now, I think you know my breath is fine. We were just sharing it, after all."

"Ugh, what a creep."

"I think you could use my help in other ways, though. I can't help but feel that all this action has you quite excited." Hanako laughed, as Kou realized that Hanako's hand was at the waistline of his pants.

"Wh-what are you... UH!" Kou couldn't help the sound that escaped his lips whenever the apparently seductive spectre slid that hand down and palmed the front of his pants. While his mind was still pretty confused by this whole situation, his dick had apparently made its decision because it was ready for action. All he could do was look up to the sky in utter bliss as Hanako palmed him with circular motions. This had already far exceeded any level of pleasure he had managed to give himself, and Hanako hadn't even actually touched it!

"Hmm, you really are hot, aren't you? In so many ways. I could help you out of some of those clothes, ya know? Specifically these..."

Hanako pulled at Kou's waistband with the hand that was not pre-occupied playing with his dick, and Kou felt like he could have easily cum right then and there. His body was just not conditioned to dealing with this level of teasing; he was already breathing heavily and his legs might have been shaking a little bit.

"You... are you serious?" Those were the only words Kou could manage to say at that moment. They hardly even fit the situation.

"Now, when have you ever known me to be kidding? As long as there's no objection, of course."

"Go for it!" Did he sound eager? He hoped not. That would be way too pathetic, and there was no way the other teen was not going to tease him for it later. What exactly was he supposed to sound like in this situation, anyway?

Maybe five seconds later, Hanako was on his knees. Kou was looking down onto that head of black hair, feeling every bit as aroused as he was confused. It was only a matter of moments before his pants were completely undone, dropping down to his ankles. He only had time to wonder if this was actually happening before his underwear joined them. Boner hitting the open air, he breathed a sigh of feel-good relief.

"Oh wow, it's even bigger than I'd thought!"

In Kou's defense, what man wouldn't have smiled upon hearing that? Hanako looked up at him, smiling that cute smile that helped get Kou into this crazy situation, before licking the tip. Kou moaned at the feeling of the wet, somewhat cool appendage touching his extremely excited member.

"Don't you tease me, Hanako. No way I'm lasting long like this!"

"Awww, guess I'll have to play with it more another time. I want to learn all the things it likes!"

Kou clinched his eyes shut; it was actually a pure exertion of willpower that kept him from cumming. He had never been touched like this or been talked to in such a ridiculously lewd way, and it was quite a lot for him to handle. He managed to peak with one eye, just as he saw Hanako put that surprisingly perverted mouth around his cock. He could feel that wet tongue wrapping around his member, absolutely begging him to cum right in that mouth.

Oh no, he was becoming a pervert too!

It was difficult to care too much, though, as he watched that head bob up-and-down, giving him incredible pleasure. Unfortunately, it really was too much.

"Hanako! I'm gonna-" was all he managed to say, before thrusting his hips forward into that cute mouth. It felt amazing, so he did it again. And again, vaguely hearing the shaking of the stall door from the force. And then he exploded.

Definitely the most pleasurable experience of his life as he felt Hanako's mouth swallowing all around him. All he could do was pant through the release, using one hand to support himself against the bathroom stall. Eventually, though, he felt himself going soft, even with the other teen's enthusiastic tongue cleaning going on. He was still in the process of catching his breath from the most powerful release he'd ever had when Hanako finally let go.

"I didn't expect you to be so enthusiastic." There was a slight rasp to the teen's voice, making Kou smirk.

"Admit it, you don't know what to expect of me. That's why you gave me so many outs before you finally made your move." The Minamoto exorcist pulled his underwear and pants back up, simply using the first button on his pants to hold the things on rather than take the time to fully fix his appearance.

"Oh, I see, think you're clever eh? I mean honestly, if you weren't so dense in the first place, you'd have figured it out the first time I touched your crotch. What more of a clue does a guy need?" Hanako was shaking his head, acting all casual, but Kou knew there was more going on than that.

"Anyway," Hanako continued, "at least you had - hmph!"

Kou silenced the other teen with a hand over the mouth, and revelled in the look of confusion on his face. He leaned in closer, other hand grabbing the front of Hanako's crotch and immediately finding a raging erection.

"Don't think I'm going to be in debt to an apparition; no way!" He tugged on Hanako's member through the fabric of the pants, a stifled moan sending vibrations through his hand. Not willing to lose his element of surprise, he took his hand off of the other's mouth only to immediately replace it with a wild kiss. He ignored the weird flavor the kiss had compared to earlier. They stayed like that seemingly forever until Hanako whined, causing Kou to back off.

"You really can be surprising..." Hanako said, hands quickly getting to work on undoing his own pants this time.

"Don't think I'm a guy that can be easily figured out!"

After a few long moments, Hanako's pants and underwear fell to the floor, his own erection free this time. Kou didn't delay, going straight for the member.

"You know," Kou said, tugging and stroking roughly as Hanako moaned with abandon,"you really do sound too cute right now." And, in an act of once again taking action before thinking about consequences, he slowed his jerking and gently kissed the other teen. To him, he imagined it as practicing his kissing on possibly the cutest yet dirtiest mouth he had ever seen. Tons of couples slow-kissed, and he had zero practice with it.

To Hanako, it was everything.

"I'm so close... please..."

The spirited begging made Kou speed up, his free hand finding its way up Hanako's shirt in order to feel around a bit, doing nothing but what felt the most right.

"Yeah? My hand feels that good?" He couldn't help but feel proud that he was able to bring the normally composed teen to such a state. Plus, it should be enough to have the guy absolutely never mention the moaning and eagerness from earlier.

"It's - ah! - it's great... just not there... need more... something more!"

Kou didn't know what he was doing. He was just following what felt right. And so, with some kind of intuition that this was what was desired, he leaned in and bit Hanako on the neck.

"AHHH!" Hanako's scream was by far the loudest noise from either of them to this point, but Kou quickly figured out that his strange technique had worked because Hanako began shooting a ridiculous amount of cum onto the front of his pants and shirt. Not too concerned about it in that moment, he latched on with his teeth while continuing to jerk his hand, even as the motion got incredibly sloppy with all the jizz everywhere. When everything finally stopped and he let go, Hanako slumped to the ground panting.

Kou took the opportunity to sit down himself, only now thinking about the fact that there was cum all over him and he didn't have any change of clothes or way to easily clean it.

"Oh great, what am I supposed to do about all this? Sheesh man, you really let it out didn't you?"

"You did too, you just couldn't tell!" Hanako's voice was that laid-back, casual tone again. Kou couldn't help but blush furiously.

"Yeah, well, it wouldn't have even mattered if it happened to you, you can probably use your ghostly powers to clean it off!"

"So, do you really think that I'm cute?" Hanako put on that cute smile, making Kou turn his head quickly as a blush immediately rose to his cheeks.

"Y-yes..."

Suddenly they heard a stall door squeak slightly more open. Kou immediately looked at the one they were in, but that one was still closed. His heart stopped as he heard the footsteps in the stall beside them; even Hanako seemed momentarily unable to move. They just sat there, completely immobile, as they heard the steps. The exorcist hadn't realized until now, but the sound of shoes stepping onto a toilet was surprisingly distinctive. He could only stare slack-jawed as a familiar head of hair poked over the top of the stall, followed moments later by a very familiar set of eyes.

"EEEPPPP!" The girl then immediately fell, because she was so short she had to climb onto the stall and lift herself up a little to see them.

"Nene! Are you okay!"

"Hanako-kun! Kou-kun! I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I was just coming back because I had a real important question for Hanako about something and then I heard some scream while I was outside so it took a minute for me to build up the courage and then I heard you two but was wondering what you were talking about and I thought maybe it was some kind of talk about the school wonders and... really I'M SORRY!"

Following that quick tirade, the girl took off running from the bathroom. Kou only sighed; it made sense. Here they were, Hanako slumped on the ground with his dick out while he himself was covered in cum with a red, embarrassed face. Hell, he almost ran earlier when Hanako was so persistent about getting him in the bathroom in the first place so he wasn't blaming her.

"We'll worry about her later." Hanako said, honestly too cheerfully. "And make sure she doesn't walk in on us next time!"

"Next time, who the hell said anything about..." in the face of a cute smile, Kou was truly defenseless. He looked toward the ground, blush intensifying on his cheeks. "Right, we'll uh, make sure things stay clear next time."


A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first story for this ship/fandom; I put it together pretty quick because it was easy to be inspired by two of the cutest anime boys in recent memory. This is going to stay a one-shot; I don't know if I'll ever write more for this particular ship, that depends on the rest of the series!

Thank you all for reading; please feel free to follow, favorite, review!