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"So how's he doing?"
John heard someone slide into the chair beside his bed. The voice sounded like Rodney, but that was impossible. John kept his eyes closed and his breathing even, waiting for whatever might come next. He heard a soft conversation between Rodney-not-Rodney and Carson. John was too focused on the sound of Rodney's voice to really pay attention to what was being said. This sounded like Rodney, but it couldn't be Rodney. Rodney was lost on that planet.
When the talking stopped, he heard someone walk away, and someone stay. "Is that you?" John asked of the darkness, not sure if he was dreaming again.
John felt a hand on his arm. Then that voice, "Heard you haven't been feeling all that hot."
"I've been…" John waved a hand vaguely, then opened his eyes. It did look like it was Rodney sitting in the chair beside him. He wasn't wearing a uniform, though; and he looked a bit the worse for wear. Bruise on one cheek, bandage on one hand, and tired – the man looked exhausted. "I'm not sure…", John added, squinting at his friend, as if that would help him figure out if Rodney was real or part of one of those dreams. If this really was Rodney, then, "You look like crap."
"That's pretty much how I feel, too," Rodney said around a wince. "To be honest, could be a lot worse, though." He let his hand drop, and leaned back in his chair. "Carson said I'll be back at work in a day or so."
John pushed himself up to sitting, and turned to Rodney, letting his legs dangle off the bed. "Not sure when I'll be back. Carson seems to think I'm kind of…" he stared down at his legs, watching them swing.
"Yeah, he said you weren't feeling well, that the weapon that woman used on you…"
John looked up at Rodney.
"…scrambled your brain," Rodney added with a wince, one hand flying to his forehead.
Scrambled, yeah. Well said. John struggled to pull a blanket up over his shoulders.
"It's always cold in here," Rodney said, standing and helping with the blanket. "Something about keeping any potential contagions down, although I've argued that here in Atlantis it's not as necessary as it is on Earth. But you know Carson and, you know, science," Rodney said, emphasizing that last word. "Not always best friends, doctors and science." Once they got the blanket settled, Rodney asked, "Mind?" indicating the bed with a nod. When John shrugged, Rodney slid onto the bed beside John. "Elizabeth told me that you told them where to find me. She said they'd searched the building, but missed that hatch. Might not have found it at all if you hadn't clued them in."
John didn't respond. He wasn't sure what he could say. He'd helped find Rodney by seeing where he was in a dream? That really wasn't something he wanted to talk about.
But Rodney, in a typical Rodney move, took any option to not talk about it away by talking about it. "She said you'd seen where I was in one of your dreams," he said, peering at John out of the corner of his eye.
John exhaled, giving in to the inevitable. "Bunch of dreams, actually."
"Okay…", Rodney said. He turned to fully face John and asked, "Seem kind of weird to you?"
"Scrambled, remember?" John said, trying to smile and failing. "So yeah, weird." He hesitated.
Rodney huffed a soft laugh. "About as weird as all the other weird stuff we've experienced here."
John nodded. "Maybe it was that device? I was – there was a weapon." At Rodney's answering nod, John continued, "I feel like it's made my head… I don't know."
"Scrambled," Rodney repeated, not unkindly. "Carson says it'll get better. You need to give it more time."
John exhaled loudly.
"So, what was it you were seeing?" Rodney said, voice low.
John hesitated, unsure of how to answer. Rodney would think he was nuts. Actually, he already thought he was nuts. Deciding it didn't matter, he turned to face Rodney. Pulling his legs up and crossing them on the bed, he leaned across them, closing the distance. He reached out with a hand, wiped his palm across the bed. "I could see blood on the floor." He closed his eyes, remembering the dream. "I watched you wipe it," Eyes open, looking directly at Rodney, he said, "Your hand."
Rodney raised his brows in surprise. "I thought that weapon knocked you out."
"It did. I didn't see this," John said, indicating his eyes. "I saw it," he pointed at his head. He waved toward Rodney. "Or you saw it." John went on, words coming out in a tumble. "There was, like, a trap door. A hatch. You could barely see it. If you didn't know it was there, I'm not sure you would have. They moved me –" He shook his head, then reached out his hand and touched Rodney's knee briefly. "Actually, you – down that ladder. It was dark. I could see…" He closed his eyes again, so he could focus. "Back there, where you are. Or were." He opened his eyes, knowing that he was probably coming across as a bit unhinged. Rodney thought he was messed up before he'd said all this, and John could only imagine what he was thinking now.
Rodney looked worried. "Yeah," he said hesitantly. He shifted on the bed, eyes roving the room. Probably hoping to find Carson. When he didn't see the doctor, he went on, "Teyla told me…"
"Ah," John said as he realized Teyla had somehow convinced Elizabeth to go back and look in that place, to try to find that hatch. That even though he'd been, as Rodney would say, completely off his rocker, Teyla had believed him. So had Elizabeth. At least enough to go back and check. So if Rodney didn't believe him, maybe that was okay. He looked at Rodney again. "Here you are." He looked closely at Rodney, making sure. "This is you."
"This is me," Rodney echoed, brow wrinkled in concern.
"It's been hard to tell," John explained. "I've been – that weapon, you remember?"
"I remember," Rodney said firmly, and John realized he'd already asked Rodney that question.
"Sorry," John said. "I keep losing track."
"I know," Rodney said. "But you're going to be okay. We think – Carson and I – we think that weapon did a number on you. But according to our good doctor, it's wearing off now."
At this, John raised his own eyebrow in disbelief. Didn't feel like the thing was wearing off.
Rodney gave a quick smile. "No, really. Carson says you're better than you were last night. At least somewhat."
John thought about that. Maybe Rodney was right. He was still… whatever. But maybe he was feeling a bit less whatever than he had been. Maybe.
Rodney cut into his thoughts. "Still having those dreams?"
"No," John said. He didn't think so. If this was really Rodney, and he thought it was, and if he really was here in the infirmary, then he wasn't dreaming. Although if forced, he knew he'd have to admit that he wasn't sure. And even if he wasn't dreaming now, he was feeling nervous that they'd start again. He hoped they wouldn't. Changing the subject, he asked, "How long were you there?"
"Found me at the end of the fourth day," Rodney said. John watched as Rodney grasped the edge of the bed, knuckles going white. "Ronon and Teyla, with the force of God behind them. I've been back here about twelve hours, now." He glanced at John. "You've been sleeping."
"Are you okay?" John asked. He could tell by the tension thrumming through Rodney's posture that he hadn't come away from this unscathed. He added a rushed, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Rodney asked, looking surprised.
"I wish I'd been able to find you earlier," John said quickly. "Or, not that I hadn't found you, but I was having a hard time understanding what I was seeing, getting people to understand what I was seeing, and even now I'm not sure I'm –"
Rodney grabbed his hand, stilling it, and only then did John realize he'd been twisting the blanket.
"I'll be fine," Rodney said, looking at John, clearly evaluating. He let go of John's hand. "How are you doing?"
John shrugged. "You can probably tell better than I can. How do you think I'm doing? Am I acting like myself?"
Rodney pursed his lips. "Yeah, well… not so much, no."
"Does Carson think I'm still being affected by that thing?"
"He said it's wearing off," Rodney said, and John realized they'd already talked about this. "More like after-effects at this point," Rodney said, leaning back a little. "Your… something something something levels are still high, but they're returning to normal," he added, vaguely waving circles with his hand. "He thinks all this should wear off with time."
John nodded. He'd seen some pretty odd things here in the Pegasus Galaxy, but this was one of the odder experiences he'd had. He didn't much like it. He was used to being in control, at least of himself, and right now, he felt far from it.
Rodney slid off the bed and turned to face John. "Listen," Rodney said, leaning forward. "If Carson says you're going to be okay, you're going to be okay. I know I tease the man," he said, lip quirking up. "But he really does know what he's doing."
John considered what Rodney had said. Maybe Carson was right. Time might help. And maybe some distance from what happened. John tried to stifle a yawn. Time, distance, and maybe some more sleep. He was wiped.
Rodney knocked him on the knee lightly. "You should get some sleep."
John looked fully at Rodney, again seeing the bruises, the tiredness. "You, too." Then he yawned again. "Sorry," he said, rubbing his eyes. "I've been having these dreams." He looked up, staring at Rodney. After a moment, he asked, "Is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me," Rodney said with a slight smile. "You should get some sleep. I'll stop in again tomorrow, see how you're doing."
John nodded and lay back down, eyes closed before Rodney had even left the room. He pulled the blanket over his shoulders and turned onto his side, facing away from the door. Despite what he'd told Rodney, he wasn't so eager to sleep. He thought he hadn't had one of those dreams in hours, but that didn't mean he wouldn't if he fell asleep now, and he really didn't want to chance it. What he wanted was for them to find Rodney, and bring him back here. But wait – if that was Rodney who'd been here, they'd already done that. He felt like he was going in circles. What he wanted was for everything to go back to normal. But he was so tired.
Maybe Rodney was right. Get some more sleep and wake up to Rodney-who-is-Rodney, and himself back to his old self, those weird dreams gone, and Atlantis open before him.
Giving himself over to sleep, John dreamed, this time, of Ferris Wheels and football, and things that move very, very fast.
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End
