9:30 Drakonis ?
"What was that?" Eren gasped. I took in a deep breath and watched everyone as I looked back. We were barely inside of the next hallway even if I felt like I had walked an entire room. Many of us had tears in our eyes, some in disbelief, others in anger, but most held acceptance.
"Were those visions…real?" Derek let out a shudder.
"Does it matter? We should just continue forward and acquire the ashes. There is no use in laying around like mabaris." Morrigan scoffed but even I can tell whatever she saw, shook her.
"No. You guys keep going." I said, getting up and dusting off my knees.
"Nia?" Leliana looked at me and her face was flushed from hard crying.
"Sorry but this mission isn't mine." I gave the group a sympathetic smile. "I'm not Andrastrian, I don't care about the Chantry either. I'm not a pilgrim so I feel like I'm stepping on something too sacred here. I'm leaving. Bye guys." I walked back without looking back. "Who knows, maybe our paths will cross again."
"…Wait-" I heard Eren said.
"If that is the case then I might as well bid my farewell to you all. After all, my debt is owed to her not to the Grey Wardens." I heard Zevran catch up with me and he gave me a side glanced wink.
"There is no point to this. Gather the ashes if you must. I do not want to relive a vision again." Morrigan came around with other heavy footprints.
"Nia, we will speak later once we have gathered the ashes." I heard Eren's voice echo before we passed through the large hallway and settled into the first room. The benches were there and I doubt the others would be willing to stay on top of a mountain with a High Dragon watching over us. I took a deep breath before sitting down. Zevran sat down on the floor next to me while Morrigan had her eye on the open door toward the Gauntlet. The heavy footsteps were from Sten who also sighed and took a seat.
I was lost in thought, messing with my ring. I kept on remembering the words that my husband said to me. I tried to burn everything into my memory, how he looked like, his words, the way he made me feel. I smiled warmly and let out a breath.
"…What did you see?" I looked up and was surprised that it was Sten asking and not Zevran. No, Zevran's eyes were unfocused even if he did show that playful myrrh when we were walking.
"Someone that comforted me." I answered. "No matter what I do, they wouldn't judge me for my discretions or for my sins. Everything will wash clean in the end."
"Do not tell me you saw a God." Morrigan scoffed.
"Nah, I didn't get a religious vision or anything like that. Just someone that I knew would understand me no matter what." I replied.
"You seem at peace." Sten noticed.
"Yeah." I nodded. "What did you see Sten?"
"My guilt spoke to me." Sten said but didn't elaborate.
"Oh come now, we are not sharing stories of a lyrium filled dream. There was nothing there of significance, merely echoes of what could happen. Most likely we entered a field that was touched by the fade and had brought memories of the past with it. We were merely dreaming upright." Morrigan tried to explain away.
"Scared that whatever you saw was the truth?" I smirked. Morrigan glared and looked away. I saw Zevran with that still far off look, slightly guilty but still with acceptance. "I think there was more than what it seemed but this was supposed to help all of us in a way. At least that is what I believe." I added.
"It is not a bad way of thinking." Zevran said softly. We left it at that with Morrigan pacing and looking to where the rest of the group had gone, Sten going into a slight meditative stance, Zevran resting his head against my knee, and me closing my eyes. I was daydreaming but also getting ready I guess. Eren had said that he wanted to talk to me after all of this. Did he forgive me? Maybe. His vision was supposed to be about his dad but the vision didn't work out that way this time. It called for all of us not just him. I'm also really sure, beyond a doubt, that it wasn't JUST a vision. That was my husband through and through. If it was a spirit then they did a damn good job.
I wrote what I could, now to see what happens next.
9:30 Drakonis ?
It didn't take long for the others to retrieve the ashes though I think I did take a nap in between. Talen held up the small little pouch that held them and Eren was shifting on his feet. Zevran had taken the time to clean up his daggers and Morrigan finished pacing.
"We have done it." Wynne nodded.
"All for a fancy vase." Derek chuckled.
"That's really no way to respect Her you know." Alistair piped in.
"I'm surprised you still went through it Derek. Don't dwarves worship their ancestors and the Stone?" I wondered.
"Not bad missy, you know more than I thought. Either way, I'm still a Grey Warden so I should at least be there for the important bits." Derek chuckled.
"We've got what we needed, now we should be heading back." Eren said.
"You mean YOU guys are heading back, I was unceremoniously kicked out of the group remember?" I mentioned. Everyone looked at Eren who actually looked ashamed.
"Nia, walk with me." Eren said, going out of the Gauntlet. I looked at the others as I got up.
"If I die, please bury me somewhere green with lots of flowers please." I said before following him out.
Eren and I walked towards the middle of the field. Our footsteps echoed and I warily watched the dragon up on its perch, still sleeping. I wasn't sure what to expect from Eren. His emotions have been all over the place and, at this point, I can't even figure out what he was going to say to me.
"I want to apologize first. It seems that's all I'm really doing to you after all this time." Eren started with his back towards me. "For attacking you, belittling you, for…falling for you and trying to get you to stay by my side after all of that. I was…an ass." Eren rolled his shoulders and finally looked at me.
"Well, I would have called you a jerk but ass is good too." I chuckled. Eren's eyes played with the humor but he was still acting serious.
"I saw my father, I think. I know others believe that what they saw were merely hallucinations or something else…but that spirit I believe was him. He explained the attack, how you wished to save him, how he wouldn't have listened about Howe, and about the bravery you had to try to save my family." Eren explained, his brows furrowing and his voice getting shakier the more he talked. I stood at attention, carefully listening to him and waiting after all the silences. "I wanted someone to blame, someone to pay. I blamed the world, I blamed Howe," He spat out, "But I also blamed you. I blamed myself and my weakness. So my hate grew until it became a gnarled root inside of me. I had hope that you could help me with this so I tried to further my relationship with you even if you had denied me, there was still hope that perhaps we can become something more. That was my selfishness arising."
"So my hate grew and grew but I didn't know how to get rid of it. The anger was good when fighting but on the lulls that we had, I was at a loss. Before long, I started to feel the hate and anger consume me and when I heard the spirit talk about how you had failed…I snapped. I wanted you to suffer, I wanted you to perish. Long gone were my feelings and instead I only wished what I had gone through on you. I didn't want you around anymore because I had feared what I would do to you." Eren paced.
"What you wanted to do was kill me right then and there." I stated and Eren looked at me with slight shame. "What? After all this time you think I didn't pick up on automatic bloodlust? If you had reacted like that soon after the attack, I might have let you."
"Why?" Eren asked.
"Because I was in a low place with plenty of guilt. The Guardian wasn't wrong when he said I blame myself a lot and I mean a lot. I kept on beating myself up after I couldn't save anyone at the castle. No matter what I could think about, no matter how many times I played the situation in my head, I knew no one would believe me. Do you know how powerless I felt Eren? That I knew what was going to happen and not being able to do anything to stop it? It sucked. I was a tiny flea going up against a monster, at least that's how I felt. I was able to save you and Oren. I was able to save something, someone. It might not be the best silver lining but it was all I could think of so I didn't throw myself in the river." I explained. "At the time, if you had reacted with anger towards me, I would have accepted it but our experiences have changed us. I have to deal with my guilt, you dealt with your anger and hatred but keep in mind that the person you really need to kill is Howe, not me."
"I understand that now and I'm grateful that you are listening to me. Hah, after talking to my father and learning more, I understood everything. I'm still holding onto that anger and hatred, perhaps that won't go away for a while but I know where to aim my sword at. This Grey Warden business will make us face Loghain and Howe again. In the meantime, I will do whatever I can to gather our allies to fight the darkspawn. I kicked you out once but I'll ask you now, will you fight with us?" Eren asked.
I'll admit. Eren looked like a changed man. That burden was lessened because of his vision which was good and with this he has moved past his second hand blame against me. I wasn't going to be leaving anyway. I was going to still help them, one way or another but this makes everything easier.
"Well, I made a promise to your mom. I wasn't going to leave, for the most part, anyway." I said, taking out my hand. Eren gave me that wry smile, something that I haven't seen in a long time, and grabbed my hand. We did a good shake before he brought me in for a hug and patted my back.
"Good, because I'll need someone to put me in my place every so often." Eren let go and took a deep breath, a large weight off his back now.
"Yeah, anyway we should probably head inside before-" I started and then the dragon started to roar and flap its wings. Everyone surged out of the door with the dragon circling around Eren and I. We ran from its landing point and it roared at us again.
"It wakes." Eren finished my sentence, glaring at me.
"Yep, jinxed it, I know!" I shouted before we both ran in opposite directions to avoid its fiery breath.
"Ha ha! Finally! Come at me you beast!" I heard Derek yell from the other side of the battle field and I took cover near the ruins around us. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I got my daggers and looked from my cover. Derek, Sten, and Alistair were all gathered around the dragon, distracting it. From my point all I could see was Talen but he was already prepping a spell. I took a deep breath and went out. The dragon's footsteps echoed in the small valley of the mountain. It let out another breath of fire but I saw a bright barrier surrounding everyone.
I came on its hind legs and started to pierce through on the weaker part of its hide. It reared it up and I hit the deck to avoid its foot. Considering that I'm about half the size of it, it would have been bad if I got hit by it, which is a definite understatement as well. Zevran had the same idea as me and he was focusing on the other hind leg. He looked at me with a face that said, 'Are we seriously doing this? I'm going to die right?' I shrugged and laughed at the absurdity. You could use the gong of course, in game, but as reality sets in you have to realize that you're literally walking in dragon territory and if it woke up, of course it would hunt you down.
The dragon jumped away from our barrage and drew in a huge breath. I saw Wynne, Talen, and Morrigan shoot a simultaneous ice spell toward its mouth. It managed to gulp it down and it coughed it up before shooting another fireball to our mages. Another barrier came up and they managed to hide behind it. The ice spell gave us enough time to run up to it and continue our attack. Sten roared at the dragon constantly to get its attention and Derek made sure that it focused on the joints of the legs.
Once the dragon got fed up, it used its powerful wings to create a wall of wind which pushed all of us away. It took that time to fly into the sky, its roar piercing my head and the echo of the mountain made it worse. Zevran took my hand and made me run. Good thing too because a fireball was aimed at that spot.
"Ha ha! What fun!" Derek shouted as he ran alongside us.
"Pinche dwarf! You are the ONLY one enjoying this!" Zevran shouted as we had to separate to avoid a fiery breath aimed at the ground. The dragon circled around once more, letting out two fireballs before landing. The ground kept on burning as we tried to keep on attacking while not getting burnt to a crisp. Leliana and the mages kept their distance, near the entrance to the Gauntlet, flinging cold spells. Soon I noticed that the dragon's legs kept on spewing blood, pooling into the hot springs and holes in the mountain. It's labored breathing was noticeable and I'm not the only one that caught on.
"The beast is weakening! Give it everything you've got!" Eren shouted, running around, trying not to get swiped by the dragon's claws. As soon as he ordered that, everyone went on the defensive. Even our mages got out of their comfort zone to throw spell after spell at it. Leliana was focused on shooting out the eyes while everyone else focused on the legs. I saw Derek heave his hammer up and struck a leg, right on the joint. The dragon roared in pain as it couldn't stand on its own strength anymore and toppled down. It slid against the ground as it struggled to get up. I felt sad that we had to take down a majestic beast but it had to be done. It did try to eat us after all.
Once the dragon's belly was shown, it was only a matter of time before it died. Everyone's efforts on hacking it made the dragon die of blood loss. It laid its head on the ground, staring out into the sky as it knew it wouldn't survive. Soon the labored breathing stopped as the pools of blood grew ever outward. Eren gave the signal to stop and everyone took a step back from the corpse of the fallen dragon. All I could do was look at my armor and all the blood on it. The adrenaline finally settled and I felt weary considering we were breathing in sulfur and, now, the metallic smell of blood.
"We have done it! Ha!" Derek stood on one of the legs triumphantly.
"How saddening." I heard Morrigan whisper behind me.
"It was either it or us. I doubt we're going to be killing another dragon after this one though." Talen stretched out.
"I agree. Dragons are majestic beasts and they deserve respect for having such primal power." Leliana added.
"It's dead now and that's that." I shrugged. "What I'm wondering is if we can take some of its hide and use it."
"You mean make it into armor? Now that sounds awesome." Alistair said.
"Unfortunately we'll have to leave it here. We have the ashes for Eamon and we need to deliver it as soon as we can." Eren said, walking towards the ruins.
"What!? Not even a little of it's rump?!" Derek ran toward Eren.
"Leave it Derek." Eren ordered.
"Aww." Derek sulked.
"It would have been a fine pair of boots." Zevran nodded and I rolled my eyes. Eren managed to find a door that led through a series of long hallways that popped us out at the first wide chamber of the temple. At this point, the sun had gone down and the bonfire was still going. Alfred came up and twirled around Eren with Genitivi limping behind.
"I had heard dragon roars throughout the temple, don't tell me there was a High Dragon here?" Genitivi wondered.
"There was and we killed it!" Derek boasted.
"We also killed the majority of the cultists so there is no danger for you to be here anymore. I will be taking my mabari with me." Eren mentioned and Alfred barked.
"That's fine so were you able to find the ashes?" Genitivi asked with a shimmer in his eyes.
"They were found and we were allowed to take a pinch of them after a series of…arduous tasks." Eren sighed heavily.
"Tasks? I would like to have some explanations about these eventually but…I am amazed. I could never think that someone could ever reach their way to them! This discovery should be shared with the world!" Genitivi started to limp/pace around in front of us.
"Are the ashes self-rejuvenating?" Zevran wondered.
"I am very sure that this would change the Chantry, it should be shared." Leliana said.
"That's not really our decision is it?" Talen wondered.
"Look at it this way, only the ones that can actually get through with all the tasks can get a pinch. Having to meet with the Guardian, the questions, that vision, whatever you guys did to get to it, not everyone is going to get through." I explained. "In the end, whether hubris or greed will win against faith, that's going to be in the people's hands. If they use up all the ashes, then the world will only be the lesser for it and people will only have to blame themselves." I shrugged.
"Go with your discovery Genitivi, will you need any more help?" Eren asked.
"If I can accompany your group to Redcliffe, at least, then I will most certainly be grateful." He nodded.
"Then it will be done. We'll stay here for the night but, at dawn, we will begin our way back." Eren ordered. At that, everyone started to make up camp in front of the bonfire. We didn't have to put up our tents for once. I unrolled my cot and took off my chestplate before laying down with a big sigh of relief coming out of my mouth. Leliana and then Talen rolled up their cots next to mine before laying down next to me. Leliana gave me a small smile and Talen only stretched out while giving me a side glance.
"Weird isn't it? It feels like everything changed for some odd reason. Maybe it has or maybe I'm the only one thinking that." I whispered.
"A few things kinda hit close to home when the Guardian was talking." Talen scowled. "Not that it's bad but when he puts everything you've been doubting or your guilts out there like that, it's…" Talen scoffed.
"No one wants their secrets out in the open." I ended that thought.
"It was eye opening, for all of us I believe." Leliana added her say. I nodded.
"So…um…what did you guys see? In that vision?" I asked hesitantly.
"…Lady Cecilie." Leliana whispered.
"Not saying." Talen smirked. I shook my head.
"I saw my husband. It was nice." I closed my eyes while the two of them agreed with me. I eventually slept and woke up a little later. I wrote what I could with Sten who stared into the fire silently, more stoic since our experience. I don't blame him, we all have a few things to contemplate after this. Well time to rest.
9:30 Drakonis 3rd
We spent a day traveling out of Haven. It seems that everyone was in a pensive mood all day yesterday. Not many of us were talking, not even Morrigan who was usually at the ready with a few quips and stabs. In the end, we had the healers traveling with Genitivi with Lily, everyone else was walking. Of course, once out of the mountains, we ended up finding a man who was looking for his donkey…
"Hello travelers! Don't get many of your sort nowadays what with the darkspawn coming from beneath our feet." The merchant laughed.
"Is there anything you need stranger?" Derek asked as he was the one on the lead.
"Oh! Nothing much just hoping if anyone would like to trade or buy. I would have set up my cart but unfortunately my elven servant has been off searching for my missing donkey. Either way, I am here to abide by my trades! Many lucrative deals! I even have a golem control rod!" The merchant explained and my ears perked up.
"Golem control rod?" Talen wondered and nearly the rest of the group listened intently.
"Ha! You really think you have a REAL control rod? Pft! Golems haven't been around for centuries, even less one you think you can control." Derek said in disbelief.
"I am very serious good Ser! This is a genuine control rod!" The merchant said.
"Then where's the golem since you have its rod?" Alistair wondered.
"Err well that's the thing. I don't actually have the golem. Truthfully I was about to go and recover it. The golem is stationed in a village called Honnleath, a half a day's journey south. I have it marked on my map. How's this, I can give you the rod free of charge. I have to find my servant and donkey anyway or else I won't be able to move from this spot." The merchant suggested.
"We can't have any more detours. We have to get to Eamon." Eren scowled.
"But what if it's true?" I asked. "Having a golem on our side would be beneficial." I shrugged.
"Why don't we go separate ways? I can lead a few of us to Honnleath and the rest can go to Redcliffe to get the ashes to Eamon." Talen suggested.
"Heh, you just want to see a golem." Derek chuckled.
"A sentient steel soldier that can go around squishing everything in sight? Something that hasn't been seen in centuries or even how they were even made? I'm not going to pass a chance like this. Mages couldn't even begin to figure out how they walked years before. This is a once in a lifetime chance and I'm not passing it up." Talen was almost giddy as he explained why he wanted to go.
"Talen, it could be just a wild goose chase. We simply can't waste time on gathering our resources." Wynne chastised him.
"But this could be a resource, can it not?" Morrigan smirked as Wynne gave her a stern look. Eren rubbed his face and sighed.
"Fine, go and bring who you want Talen. It will be easier to travel if all of us can fit in the wagon." Eren said.
"Yes!" Talen shouted before clearing his throat and composing himself. It was cute to see him act his age.
"I'll go." I said.
"As will I." Leliana vouched.
"Can't let them go without backup." Alistair nodded.
"I might as well see what the fuss is about with this project no?" Zevran said.
"That should be good enough. Derek you sure you don't want to come? Golems are you people's thing right?" Talen offered.
"No thanks priss. I'm no blacksmith, I'm a warrior. The only thing that would happen if I went and you found a golem is a fight so I can test out the mettle of the golem, IF there's a golem. You go and have some fun, we'll wait for you at Redcliffe." Derek nodded.
"If you have your people then go to the village." Eren nodded. Alfred gave us a round of barks as the rest of the team headed out. Talen went up to the merchant with a mischievous smirk.
"Where's the map?" He asked. The merchant showed him and they compared maps. He also told Talen the password, dulefgar. He was able to get the coordinates and it was a bit of a walk. Luckily we only had the five of us. It won't be too long, hopefully. Talen grabbed the rod and looked at it with awe. We set off toward Honnleath with a faster pace than normal, Talen was up in front and was booking it. Seeing him get so excited and giddy was on the infectious side as I was starting to feel it as well.
"You don't really believe in this golem rod do you?" Zevran asked as he tried reaching for the rod in Talen's hand.
"Back off Zevran, this stays safe in my hands." Talen glared before looking at the rod with a twinkle in his eye.
"I get the feeling that Talen is a bit excited about all of this." Alistair chuckled.
"Yeah, it's cute." I laughed.
"I'm not cute!" Talen shot back and I put my arm around him while poking him in the cheek.
"Of course you're cute! You're the baby of the group so that automatically makes you the cutest one of all. You may have a few wrinkles on your brow already but you are adorable." I laughed before he shooed me away, his face tomato red.
"So long as I have the place of the most handsome then he can be as adorable as he likes." Zevran inspected his nails.
"I'm a grown man and I'd rather be called anything but cute or adorable. I can shoot fireballs out of my hands and maybe one of these days they'll do more than char the enemy." Talen stuck his tongue out at me.
"You know you can't live without me Talen." I winked.
"You…changed." Alistair stared at me. I raised an eyebrow.
"Probably. Seeing that vision at the Temple…" I took a deep breath and let it out. "Lifted a huge burden off my shoulders."
"I know how that feels like. I saw Duncan and…maybe he was real or maybe he wasn't but I'd like to believe it was him. Do you think the Guardian did that on purpose? We had to tell the things we were most uncomfortable to give us the visions to heal us, I think?" Alistair wondered.
"The Maker and His disciples work in mysterious ways. Believe what you want to believe Alistair and no one will fault you for it." Leliana said.
"Of course it would have been easier without all the drama that surfaced because of it. Are you well niña?" Zevran looked at me. I swiveled my lips a little before shrugging my shoulders.
"It was an emotional ride I'll say but it all worked out in the end. Eren finally healed some of the demons of his heart and I was able to get some of my emotional guilt out of the way too, even if it wasn't everything. Eren needed this." I said.
"I have a small question." Leliana said, coming up to me.
"Yeah, yeah, apparently everyone does right now." I nodded at her.
"The Guardian mentioned that you didn't walk with your name, what did that mean?" Leliana wondered.
"You know that thought crossed my mind as well." Alistair said and Talen looked back curiously.
"I didn't tell you guys? I thought I did huh. Nia isn't my real name." I answered.
"It isn't? Why?" Alistair said.
"My real name is not complicated but people tend to either mispronounce it or misspell it. Nia is easier, only three letters. I prefer it that way." I said.
"Then why not tell us your real name?" Leliana gave me that curious look.
"It would do no harm if you did." Zevran gave me his smirk.
"Nah." I laughed. "I've been known as Nia for nearly three years so I think I'll keep it that way. Besides, one of the things that Oriana did for me was forge some documents to make it seem I was a citizen of Antiva and Nia was my name on that. Can't be going around living with a fake real name then suddenly change it. It would be suspicious so for now I am Nia." I explained. When I go back to my own world then I go back to being my real name but I kept that to myself.
We kept on with small talk, parts of our visions or how we felt in the temple sneaked in as we grew more comfortable with each other. Leliana talked about her mother figure back in Orlais, of how she was proud and that her mother would be proud of her, despite her misgivings. It was her failures that made her into what she was today, what defined her and she shouldn't have to throw them away.
Alistair talked about Duncan and how he didn't blame him for any of the choices that he made that led to his death. Duncan saved him from being slaughtered and that Alistair should allow himself to grieve but to not lose himself in it. Duncan is gone but his spirit will always continue through him and the Grey Wardens. Alistair became quiet after talking about that.
Zevran and Talen wouldn't budge about their visions. I knew why Zevran didn't but Talen was really making me really curious. I wanted to know who it was because I knew it wasn't Jowan but someone else. The thing is I don't know who else was close enough to Talen to appear in his visions. Maybe one day he would tell me.
After picking up speed to get to Honnleath in a timely manner, we eventually reached it as the sun was dipping low. Not quite sunset but it was getting late. Before we even got to the gate, we saw the smoke rising in the sky. Wordlessly, we all caught each others eyes and ran. Alistair and Talen were at the front with their staff and sword out. That meant darkspawn. As we approached the gate, we found a few villagers trying to run as darkspawn chased them. Talen let out a fireball while Alistair ran past the villagers to ram his sword into a Hurlock that came barreling through.
Leliana got another Hurlock that was screeching from being caught in the fire blast. Two more came from the village with Zevran and I taking them down. I managed to cut deeply around its belly before plunging my dagger through their eye. The villagers that ran past us were nowhere to be seen and, as we passed the gate, we saw the destruction that befell on Honnleath. Fires were rampant among the houses, corpses were everywhere, and the smell of burning flesh was thick in the air.
"Well, golem or no golem, these people are going to need help." I let out a breath.
"All in a days work, let's go." Talen cracked his knuckles as we walked into town.
Beta'd by Syutaku!
So 11 days ago, my daughter Aliyah was born! She is probably the healthiest of my babies to come out, no complications at all! Yay! I'm so happy. Right now, I'm trying to play catch up as fast as I can. As you can see, my chapters have gotten progressively longer. I wouldn't be surprised if my chapters go over 10k by the time I'm finished. The reason is so that I can get to the good stuff sooner. I have my entire Inquisition story mapped out, with a few bits and pieces that I still need to fine tune. My beta is still on the slow side on my Guardian story so sorry for the people waiting!
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Thank you HellaRose (Thank you for the praise!), Chimera Spyke (Keep up with the philosophy reviews because I enjoy them), Valtiel (As you can see, Shale will have a larger part in this story than in my other one. I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself!), For your reviews!
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