9:30 Drakonis 4th

My eyes grew wide as Eren's smile grew wider.

"Come with me." Eren took my wrist as he started to lead me through the castle. We went past the main entrance and up the stairs. My heart pounded in my chest. I knew that Fergus was still alive but he usually doesn't come around until after everything has happened. We stopped in front of a room where Wynne was there chatting with Fergus. He was in bed with his leg wrapped up to his knee and he had several scars on his face.

"Well if it isn't my baby brother and…Nia! I would get up to greet you but I'm slightly indisposed right now." Fergus chuckled.

"If you tried like earlier yesterday, I will make sure that you stay in that bed for a very long time." Wynne gave him a stern look.

"You can't blame me Wynn. After all, I was overly excited to see my brother." Fergus gave her a crooked smile. Wynne scoffed but in good fun.

"Glad to see you are unharmed." Wynne got up and gave me a warm smile before focusing on Eren.

"Make sure that he drinks his potion twice a day. I will come back to see about his leg later." Wynne said.

"Come here my dear brother. Very good to see you as well Nia." Fergus settled on the bed higher with Eren helping settling him down on extra pillows. I fidgeted at the doorway before sitting on a chair that was near him.

"It's good to see you too Fergus. I didn't even know that you…well…" I started.

"No, if you thought I had died, I wouldn't blame you. Truthfully, I thought I was a goner as well. If it wasn't for the Chasind fold in the Korcari Wilds, I'd be in the Maker's bosom right now." Fergus chuckled. Eren took a stool to sit near him.

"It's good to see you Fergus and we're already bringing Oren from the Circle so he can stay here with you." Eren explained.

"Oren is coming too?" I wondered.

"I will be picking him up as soon as I can. You'll have to wait until then but I'm sure we'll be picking our next destination soon." Eren explained.

"Oh…" I looked down at my hands.

"Nia…Eren told me what happened to our childhood home." Fergus said in a low voice. My hands balled into fists while I felt myself becoming smaller.

"I'm so sorry Fergus. I tried so hard but I failed…I couldn't save anyone." My voice broke as I felt the tears come in.

"What do mean you couldn't? My brother is here with me isn't he?" Fergus said and I looked up. Fergus softly smiled at me. There was pain in his eyes but there was no sense of disappointment, no blame, no anger, just quiet understanding. "You saved him and you saved my son. It would be too much to ask if you could have saved everyone. I understand and I thank you for doing everything possible for my family." A few tears were shed but I felt like I've cried enough for that specific failure.

"Well he knows who to really blame, Rendon Howe." Eren's voice was full of spite as soon as he said the name.

"Yes. Hopefully we'll be able to do something about him once the Blight is over." Fergus said.

"Well no one is really focused on people going missing because of the Blight. All it takes is a little accident right?" I mentioned. Fergus and Eren both gave me amused looks. "I said that aloud didn't I?" Both of them laughed and the tension dissipated.

"Well, I should get going. The sooner I can get Oren here, the better. You focus on getting better and Wynne will know if you're skipping your potion." Eren said, bringing a bottle out of the drawer next to the bed.

"Yes, yes little brother." Fergus said, while I stood up, ready to get going too.

"Get well soon Fergus." I said and Fergus nodded. Eren and I walked out, Eren shutting the door behind us. He let out a long breath and looked at me with furrowed brows but still a smile on his face.

"You have no idea the relief I had when they found Fergus on the road. At first I thought it was a cruel joke by the Maker but no, he's here and he's alive." Eren let out a sharp breath that was mixed with a sob. "My brother is alive." He covered his eyes with his hand but I saw his trembling lip and how he was trying so hard not to completely break. There wasn't anything to be said. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He sobbed quietly. I'm sure he wanted to cry for a long time and he probably did when he first saw Fergus. He also must have cried explaining their situation. I imagined both of them crying together many times.

This was Eren's own grief, his relief, his happiness, mixing into one ball of emotions that wasn't easily shared. Crying was always the next best thing. I pulled Eren into a hug and he relaxed his body into mine, keeping a mild distance still. He rested his head on my shoulder. It must have been uncomfortable considering I still had my armor on but he did so nonetheless. He let out shuddering breaths before he composed himself. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Thank you." Eren said.

"My shoulder is always free unless Alistair is crying on it, then it's not." I said and Eren gave a light chuckled.

"I'll be going now. Tell everyone where I'm going and to discuss where should be go after this." Eren said as we both went downstairs to the first floor.

"Don't worry I will. We'll be waiting for our illustrious leader to come back." I did a small bow and Eren pushed me lightly, in good fun.

"Nia, truly, I am thankful for all you've done for me. What happened in the Temple made me realize how lucky to have you by my side." Eren looked at me seriously. "All the things I've said, the things I've done, how I've made you uncomfortable, and how I've been ungrateful, I'm so sorry."

"What's done is done Eren." I gave him a small smile while I did a fist bump on his chest. "I've forgiven you so let's put everything back in the past and look toward the future. Eamon is healed and we got the mages on our side. Not bad for 2 months of traveling. We got the dwarves and the elves to convince but I'm sure everything is going to go well. Now go get Oren so you can have a proper family reunion." I said. Eren nodded and, for once, there wasn't any tension or awkwardness. It was almost as if we returned to those few months before he developed feelings for me, that odd relationship in which we were grateful just for our presence. Eren has moved on and grieved properly. I have accepted the worst of what I must do to get home, all the while repenting for what I have to do.

Our emotions have settled and I wouldn't have it any other way. Eren left through the main entrance while I went to exploring to find my room again. I heard a few voices coming from Eamon's office and I saw Alistair talking animatedly with Eamon. I crept closer to see how Eamon was faring.

His face was gaunt but it looked like he was bathed recently. His hair wasn't oily and his beard was trimmed and washed. His clothing was loose fitting. Who knew how long he was poisoned and in his coma. His voiced still boomed however. I was able to go and leave them by themselves until I heard 'Jowan.' I knew that eavesdropping wasn't something that people should do but I hung around to hear more.

"Are you sure you want to sentence him now Eamon? Wouldn't it be better to just have him in the dungeons until after the Blight?" I heard Alistair say.

"He poisoned me, allowed my son to be possessed, and his actions indirectly caused the death of my wife Alistair. The utter fact that I am not executing him myself is a show of my patience but it's that same patience that is wearing thin now. I would rather him be judged now rather than facing him escaping during the madness of the Blight." Eamon explained. It wasn't a bad explanation either.

"Well, can't we at least wait until Eren comes back? He is the one that does all the big decisions." Alistair sighed.

"I can wait until then but no more." I heard some scribbling from Eamon.

"It's not something I'm looking forward to." Alistair mumbled.

"You have been very vocal about this apostate Alistair. It's not like you. I would have thought that with your templar training, you would want him to be sent off to the Circle for sentencing as soon as possible." Eamon wondered.

"Well that would be something I would do if the decision was left to me but…well, someone in our group knows Jowan." I could tell that he was fidgeting when he said this.

"Someone?" Eamon asked.

"Ah…yes. He just came back from a mission. His name is Talen. He and Jowan are like brothers and I'm sure he would want to be there when you sentence him." Alistair explained. Eamon became silent and then let out a long sigh.

"Your group was the one that saved me and that allows a flexibility in choosing. For now, I will await Eren to come back so the decision will fall on him. He is the one that is leading your party. If Talen doesn't agree, then it will between them." Eamon replied.

"Yes Arl Eamon." Alistair said and I took that as my cue to leave. I snuck away toward the gardens. Right now, they're using the gardens as a makeshift training grounds. Now that Eamon was awake, the word was going around all of Ferelden to recall all of his soldiers. I passed a few that were using training dummies. Wynne was there tending to a few herbs in the garden that were used to heal wounds.

"Nia, it's good to see you. I'm sorry my welcome back wasn't as warm as it could be. That Fergus…" Wynne shook her head.

"It's ok Wynne." I chuckled. "Eren was always more serious than his brother so I'm not surprised he was giving you a hard time."

"But it's good to see you back. I am surprised that you were able to find the golem after all. Oh, Shale I mean to say." Wynne said.

"Yep, she's really cool isn't she? Even if she calls me the tiny one." I said. Wynne chuckled and we both sat underneath a tree while Wynne began to categorize her herbs. "Hey Wynne? What do you think is going to happen to Jowan?"

"Did you hear someone talking about him?" Wynne asked. I nodded.

"Eamon was talking to Alistair about sentencing him. He was going to give the decision to Eren once he gets back from the Circle." I explained. Wynne sighed.

"It will be a difficult decision. Jowan had two paths in front of him, with no other way to run, in the Circle and as well as the world once he was outside. Forced to become a tranquil and then forced into betraying Ferelden to secure a position in the Circle again. I could see how Jowan was easily manipulated, trying to find a sense of freedom but a choice is still a choice. He could have chosen not to dabble in blood magic but he did. He could have declined Loghain's offer but he didn't. I understand his actions to an extent but he is a grown man and should have made careful decisions even if they were hard." Wynne explained. Ever the stern one.

"You ever think that the Circle was in the wrong here? Talen had told me it was because Jowan was scheduled to be tranquil that he turned to blood magic. I thought tranquility was supposed to be used as a last resort." I said. Wynne's lips thinned.

"It was but as the years went by the templars started to see malificar more readily. Mages that couldn't come into their power or those that had troubles controlling their magic were tranquiled as they were deemed as a danger to themselves and others. Templars believed that mages that couldn't control their magic or were slower than other mages, were more susceptible to possession. They believed that it would be better for everyone if they were tranquiled." Wynne explained. "It is not a perfect solution by far but it's the only one we have to truly safeguard the mages that have passed their Harrowing. Those that can't control their power are still dangerous."

"I think it's still too harsh of a sentence just because you need more help than others. Would you consider someone that lost their leg dangerous? Or someone that's slower mentally than others dangerous?" I asked.

"No but those people are normal. You forget that mages are able to tap into the fade, control the elements at our fingertips, and face the danger of being taken over by demons. Any sort of weakness is a danger and demons love to play with our weaknesses, to find a way through our mental defenses and take over. It is more complicated than a simple disability." Wynne sternly explained. I sighed and put my chin in my hand.

"Yeah it is. I don't like it though. Being tranquil, cut off from everything, not being able to feel emotions? It would be a punishment I wouldn't wish on the worst of my enemies, maybe." I mentioned and Wynne chuckled.

"It is not the best way, no. Even I have my discretions against it but it's not my choice and not something I can easily change. All I can do is mentor those that come along and try to teach them that the Circle is not a prison. There are liberties so long as we follow the rules. Once they become mages and choose their study, they can even leave the Circle to further their research. There are those that can't look past the tower though. Those that are taken from their lives later rather than sooner or those that had bad experiences within. I can only protect so many." Wynne sighed, her gaze becoming forlorn. I remember the apprentice that she took on, only to come down on him too harsh and giving him no choice but to escape.

"Wynne, if there was a way to reverse tranquility, would you want to know about it?" I asked. Wynne looked at me before looking at her herbs. She was thinking hard. The wind blew lightly with a warm tint. Spring was almost upon us unless Ferelden wanted to surprise us with a few extra weeks of winter. Do they have groundhogs around here?

"It would be very dangerous to carry around that information. The ability to reverse tranquility would be something that would shake our entire community and not in a good way. If I was able to come across it safely, however, I might be able to convince a few to keep it secret until there came a time to release it to the world. You don't happen to know, do you?" Wynne stared at me.

"Nope, I was only asking if the chance came around, what would you do? It was a hypothetical question. Besides, I'm not a mage so do you really think I would know?" I said, trying to convince her that I knew nothing about it yet. I'd rather not cause the mage rebellion a decade before it was going to happen.

"No you are not a mage but you do happen to be in service of a great and powerful spirit. I wouldn't doubt that it shared some of its wisdom with you." Wynne deduced.

"You forget that Halo isn't a part of this world. He wouldn't go and try to find the cure so willy-nilly. There would have to be a reason why he would do it. Truthfully, I don't even know what happened to Halo. He seems to be sleeping since what happened at Soldier's Peak. He even made a safe space for me in the fade because he can't be around to protect me all the time, not anymore at least." I sighed, still feeling lonely that he wasn't there every single time I dreamed.

"I am sorry for that." Wynne said.

"It wasn't anyone's fault Wynne. I went and saved Eren at the cost of my life with Halo resurrecting me in the end. Just like how your spirit saved you, Halo saved me. I just have to wait a little while longer to get home, no biggie." I nonchalantly said. Though if I stopped and thought about it, which is bad for me, I would slowly get a panic attack. I put it out of my mind. We had more important things to do. So long as I had something to distract me I won't fall into the existential crisis, don't fall into it! No thinking! Thinking is bad!

"Of course. Help me grind these would you? It would be best to have a steady supply of potions. Whether we go to the dwarves or the elves, we will need them." Wynne said. I agreed and started to grind them in the small mortar and pestle. She showed me which to grind together, how long to grind, and how much of the ratio of which herbs to put into the water to get the desired effect. I had put all of it in some notes in the back. It would be good to have this knowledge with me. Of course the best potions, the highest grade, could only be made with concentrates, distillers, and the right equipment. Basic science stuff really but nothing we can carry around or else it would get broken easily.

In the end, with the equipment that Wynne managed to snag from Owen, we were able to make a few concentrated elfroot potions. These were in small bottles and Wynne told me it would be better to take them with serious injuries. No point in wasting them with small bruises. She gave me two concentrated ones and six regular ones. She kept on working on more to give to the rest while I went off to explore the castle.

All the bodies were gone and most of the blood splatter was washed out. There were some areas that were hard to scrub, especially the ceiling. Maids bowed before me a few times when they recognized me. It was weird but it felt good. At least I was getting recognition. Makes me wonder how I'll be seen once this whole thing blows over. They called Leliana a veteran, maybe I'll be called that too. I ended up at the ramparts where I found Talen. He was staring out from the top, overlooking Redcliffe village, Lake Calenhad and, since it was a clear day, a silhouette of Kinloch Hold.

"Hey Talen. I didn't peg you one for heights." I said, standing next to him.

"I lived in a really tall tower with five floors, I'm used to it." Talen shrugged his shoulders. He was leaning against the stone wall, not really focusing on anything. I leaned against it next to him.

"I heard Eamon said that he was going to have Eren judge Jowan when he comes back." I relayed the information to Talen. I saw his brow furrowed.

"He was left with no options, not once but twice. If he gets sent to the Circle, they'll make him into a tranquil indefinitely or sent to Aeonar. If he stays here, Eamon is going to have him executed. I know that it's not entirely his fault but he was stupid. He was stupid to learn blood magic and run from the Circle. He was stupid to get captured by Loghain and agree with him to poison Eamon. He was stupid to go ahead and do it too. All in all, Jowan is a moron. A big, stupid, idiot who doesn't know when to stop being stupid!" Talen shouted and punched the wall.

"Even after saying all of that, you still care about him, don't you?" I said softly. Talen looked back at me with extreme worry. It's during these times when I could see his age. Where he was stripped of his Grey Warden face and, instead, there staring at me was just an 18 year old boy who feels like the world was against him.

"Nia…he's going to die either way. He was…still is my brother. I don't know…I don't know what I can do." Talen balled his hands into fists. "I want him to pay for what he did to me at the Circle and here but…I feel like he shouldn't have to die for it! He's a good guy, he cares about others, and I knew that deep down, he didn't mean any of this to happen! He was backed into a wall and, like a mabari, he snapped. What can I do Nia? I keep trying to figure out an end to all of this but…I can't think of anything." Talen let out a shuddering breath. He was trying so hard not to cry his eyes out.

I looked out at our surroundings. The sun was starting to dip low. The Hinterlands were beautiful as spring was starting to peek out from underneath the snowy landscape. Soon the spring showers will come and wash away the wintertime, with flowers being born with the sun.

"Talen, there's not much you can really do. In a part, I agree that Jowan was in between a rock and a hard place but he is still a grown man. There were consequences to what he was doing and he knew what he was doing too. It wasn't like he wasn't informed of the dangers of blood magic or what he was really going into with Loghain. Granted, he wasn't expecting Connor to go all possessed on him but he knew he was poisoning the Arl and still killed Isolde, even if it was needed to save Connor. Either way, this was a hodgepodge of bad decisions all around and someone needs to answer for them. Jowan can't get away scot-free." I explained.

"So you're saying that I need to let him die?" Talen glared at me.

"What I'm saying is that he needs to be taught a lesson. Someone that messes up like this would be executed or be left to rot in the dungeon but there is something you can do right? You're a Grey Warden. You were going to be sent to Aeonar as well right? What exactly did Duncan do to save you?" I looked at him and his eyes grew wide. He rubbed his chin, his eyes twinkling as he thought about what I inferred.

"Are you saying that I should conscript him? That's…crazy! He'd be forced to fight against darkspawn his whole life and die before he gets to grow old!" Talen scoffed.

"But if you think about it, it's still a prison sentence and one he can't run away from. It's the third choice besides magical castration or death. Grey Wardens can conscript anyone from the lowest of thieves to kings in dire times. These are dire times Talen and, if you truly do not want Jowan to die, then I've added another choice to the table." I explained. "I'm not the one who is going to make the decision because I'm not a Grey Warden and I'm not the leader either. Still, think about it, he's your friend." I patted Talen on the shoulder and left him with his thoughts.

Can Jowan's destiny be changed? I have no idea. Do I like the idea of traveling with Jowan on our journey? Not really. I think Jowan is weak willed, too easily persuaded, and, just like Talen said, a little on the stupid side. Not entirely his fault considering how the Circle raises their mages but there's not much I can do about that. I think Jowan is a good man though, deep down inside he can do good things. Yes he's not that talented in regular magic but everyone has their niche somewhere. Really his entire character is a coin toss. On the one hand, he seems to actually have talent in blood magic. On the other hand, having an untrained blood mage on the team is just asking for trouble.

Seeing Talen's face though, I couldn't help but at least put that choice out there. The worry and the hurt that Talen is feeling isn't something I want to wish on him. Talen is starting to feel like a little brother and, that protectiveness that comes with the territory, has come full tilt. I want Talen to be happy and, if that means that I had to look out for Jowan if he comes along, then I'll do it.

After meandering around the Castle a bit more, I decided I wanted to sit down and eat. I was directed to the kitchen where they were already making dinner. I had gotten pieces of roasted rabbit with chopped potatoes, some cheese and bread, and mild apple cider. I sat down in one of the smaller dining rooms along with my journal. This allowed me the time to pen down my thoughts in ink instead of charcoal. It can get messy with charcoal if I wasn't careful.

I ate slowly, relishing the food as I ate. No dried out bread that was almost crumbs or tough jerky that made my mouth hurt from chewing so much. Nope! It was deliciously seasoned rabbit with potatoes cooked to sheer perfection. The bread was freshly made, soft, warm and the cheese was melted in the middle. It was sharp but I didn't mind the taste too much. All I had to do was wash it down with the cider and the cheese taste was gone. I was so focused on my meal and my writing, I didn't even notice as Alistair and Eamon came in with their own dinners. Well, maids bringing in their own meals.

"Ah it seems one of your companies decided to start early." Eamon chuckled. I looked up and realized that it was the Arl. With mouth still chewing my cheesy sandwich, I got up and saluted before swallowing my food.

"Arl Eamon! It is an honor to meet you." I then bowed and Eamon laughed.

"Calm down. I'm sure we can save the formalities for later." Eamon sat down with the maids setting down his food. Alistair had a larger portion, Grey Warden appetite and all. I nodded at Eamon's request and sat down again. "I don't think we've met yet."

"Um no Arl Eamon. My name is Nia." I introduced myself.

"She's Eren's bodyguard. I think I mentioned her." Alistair rubbed his chin before going into the large portion of cheese that he got.

"Ah now I remember. I give you my thanks for helping my village as well as my son. Pity that you weren't able to convince the Grey Wardens to leave for the Circle." Eamon's face fell slightly.

"I'm so sorry." I said.

"You gave a choice and it wasn't taken. It's not your fault." Eamon nodded. "There are times when those that lead need to make hard decisions, ones that may even haunt them. I had to make those as well during the war. Times in which I am not proud of but was needed. I do not blame Eren for what he had to decide on. It was not favorable but something had to be done to avoid losses."

"Eamon…" Alistair said softly.

"Alistair, what passed has passed. It is time to look forward at what we must do to save our country. We have survived countless wars and a civil war will not divide us now. Once our allies have been gathered, I will call a Landsmeet and put a stop to this madness so that we may band together to stop the Blight. Until then, we can only wait." Eamon said before he began to eat. Too bad I couldn't make him into a king but it will look like an usurpation.

After the serious talk was done, I ate the last of my food before excusing myself. I think that Alistair needed more personal time with Eamon. I was about to go back to my room when I saw Zevran looking very closely at a door.

"What are you doing Zevran?" I asked. He jumped before sighing at me.

"Ah it's only you mi niña. You surprised me." Zevran said. I looked at the heavily armed door and gave him a deadpan stare.

"Don't tell me you were thinking of robbing Eamon." I frowned. Zevran gave me a sheepish chuckle.

"Well it hasn't been the first time it crossed my devious mind." Zevran said and I rolled my eyes. "I was merely…well from all the times we have scavenged and looted, I found a pair of boots that caught my eye back in Antiva. I was thinking whether or not I would have the coin to buy them when I went back."

"You're thinking of going back?" I asked.

"Well if the assassination was successful, I would have already had those boots in my hands already but, alas, I was taken in by my beautiful and kind savior." Zevran winked at me.

"Why did you take the hit Zevran? With all those legends of Grey Wardens floating around, it seems weird that the Crows would even have a contract for them." I wondered.

"The Crows have taken such contracts against other organization of authority. My first mission was one against a mage of the Circle. The Crows do not care who they anger." Zevran shrugged. "But you are correct. The bounty was high and yet no one was willing to take on the contract. I was the only one who decided on it. The Grey Wardens have been famed for being powerful warriors and mages. Those in the Crows said that it was a death wish to even consider the contract." Zevran shook his head and chuckled.

"So why did you go for it?" I asked. Zevran's face dropped all emotion. It was weird seeing how his face became blank and it semi-startled me. Soon, he put on one of his many smiles.

"I thought it would be good for a change in pace. I've also never been to Ferelden though, I must admit, I yearn for my warm Antiva." Zevran sighed dramatically. I knew that he was avoiding the issue but, at this point, I knew it was better to let it drop than continue the inquiry.

"It's going to get warmer soon. Spring is just around the corner." I said.

"Of course mi niña." Zevran had a sad smile on his face but his wound inside his heart was still bleeding. He'll tell me, one day, so I'll wait.

Beta'd by Syutaku!

So this was my fault. I sent off chapters 76 and 77, forgot 76 as well as my beta, and only realized I was missing it until now. Very sorry for the late update. Also my creativity has gone down with the lack of sleep. Sorry but sleeping is a little more better for my sanity lol

Shout out to Thornewood and AnnaRee for favoriting/following! Thank you Chimera Spyke, HellaRose, and Judy for reviewing!

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