9:30 Drakonis 7th
It's been three days since I've wrote but nothing exciting has happened so far. Really the only thing I've really been doing was helping the town with their rebuilding. Alistair is the one that has put in the most contributions besides Derek lending them a few things he pick up on masonry. Slowly but surely, the town was starting to resemble the village of Redcliffe of the future. Morrigan has been absent all three days and I had a feeling that she tagged along with Eren. I don't blame her since she's all about against helping others unless it benefitted her.
Talen was quiet and avoiding me. The thing that I suggested for Jowan was still plaguing his mind. I'm sure that's he's been tossing and turning over his decision in his head. After all, what was the difference between letting someone execute your friend than sending your friend to a certain death in the future in the worst sense? At least execution was instant but being a Grey Warden, eventually being sent off into the Deep Roads and dying surrounded by the creatures before you turn into one of them isn't exactly what you would wish on a person you viewed as a brother.
Sten and I were still doing our meditation and practices with each other. Ever since I stood up to him in Haven, he's been bringing me in for debates. So far it was mostly about war and tactics. My true good weakness. I've never been good at strategizing. Really just going in with guns blazing was my thing, the spray and pray method, most of the time. I was good with teamwork which is why I work closely with Zevran on the battle field but doing it myself? Commanding others on how to win a battle? I suck. I sucked at games with tactics unless I had an overpowered soldier! Either way, it seems that Sten was trying to at least make me more in tune with strategizing with the others.
Which is why we were borrowing Eamon's chess set and have used it for the past, oh I don't know, 3 hours? Sten: 5. Me: 1. At least I got him once.
"Ugh this is insane." My head pounded as we went onto our next chess game.
"You must learn this." Sten said, setting up the board again. It was a strange way to play chess. As it was, the pieces were called differently, the board was hexagonal instead of square, but the same rules apply.
"I don't see why…" I mumbled.
"You are lacking in key qualities that would make you a leader." Sten said, moving his pawn.
"I'm not trying to be something I'm not Sten. Besides, weren't you the one that told me that I should accept what I am and not be dissatisfied with my place?" I moved my piece.
"Of that I agree with though you have qualities that would make you suitable. You can become a leader. I do not doubt your lead, I doubt the other Grey Wardens." Sten said.
"I haven't lead anything." I said.
"You lead me." Sten placed his rook in a check. I bit my lip before having to agree with him silently. "You made me face my faults of trying to usurp control. You showed me what is needed and not what I wanted. There is more to you and yet you let your fear overtake you. You must not let it control you. Why fear the inevitable when there is only the tide?" Sten explained.
"You're right. I'm a coward. I'm letting my fear get to me but that's how I am. I…I just don't have the confidence to get up there and do what's needed to be done. Just like how Eren just shot me down during the whole Redcliffe thing, I just couldn't…move." I moved my piece and took a knight. He moved his queen. "I'm afraid Sten." He gave me that stare that seemed to go past me. "There are things…I can't control and things I can control. The things I can control…it might affect more people than I can imagine."
The future is terrifying. The knowledge I have gets to me. It fuels my fear. I want to do the good things, the right things. I wanted to save Isolde. I want to destroy the Anvil. I want the elves and the werewolves to make up to stop the curse. I would like Alistair to marry Anora and Loghain to survive. I want the perfect ending and I know what I can do to make it happen. Does life happen that way though? No it doesn't and that was made perfectly clear at Redcliffe.
I'd rather not think about what my choices do or how it affects the future. It's too much to wrap my head around.
"You have accepted your fear. It is time for you to meet it head on." Sten said, putting my king into another check.
"Eventually." I sighed, moving my king away only for Sten to put me into a checkmate. "How about for now I let my mind rest before it explodes from how many times you beat me?"
"That is fair." Sten nodded. I left, trying to wrap my mind around what Sten was telling me. I mean, Sten is one for being blunt but he is sure of the fact that no one should step beyond their boundaries until they are able to. The fact that he sees me as a better leader than Eren, and even admit it, was an incredible reach for him. I mean, we had a semi argument about me being a warrior and a female at the same time! Now he thinks I can do Eren's job better than he can? Jesus, who is he and where did my Sten go?
Still, from what I've read, this trip does change Sten and even he had to go through the Ben-Hassrath for re-education after coming back from Ferelden so it's not entirely out of the left field. Still, it's somewhat jarring. What the hell did he see back in the Temple of Sacred Ashes? I guess everyone was due for some change.
Zevran was off wooing some of the woman in the village though he did get slapped a couple of time. Some of the women did just lose their husbands or someone of their family. A few accepted if only to not sleep alone at night. Leliana was here and there but I often found her in the Chantry, singing to the children that were left there while their parents went off to fix something in the village. It was cute seeing all of them laugh and smile instead of having lifeless eyes. Wynne was still in the castle, helping Eamon and Fergus with their health. Eamon had to adjust since he was in a coma for a better part of last month. Fergus was just being difficult.
Shale was killing any pigeon she found. There were times where I tailed her so I can laugh quietly as she seethed. It made for a good time waster. In the end, I always retreated back to my thoughts about home, Halo, my kids, the future. Thinking is bad for me. I have to keep busy before I start to get too homesick. I couldn't trust my own emotions dealing with the kids in the Chantry so I would usually ask Alistair or someone in the village if they needed help.
I wish this would end. I don't think I can handle more peaceful, thinking days.
9:30 Drakonis 9th
Eren came back with Oren early in the morning. I can't help but almost cry when Fergus and Oren were reunited. Eren's haunted look was gone and he was back to his old self when he was with his family. It was so refreshing to see. Morrigan, as I suspected, was with him the entire time.
"Had some personal bonding time?" I asked when Morrigan passed me by toward the smaller dining room. She raised her eyebrow before scoffing at me.
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Morrigan dismissed me.
"I'm pretty sure you do. I'm surprised you went out with him. You're not falling for him are you?" I asked and she swiftly turned around, glaring at me.
"If you think this notion of love will ever come in between Eren and I then you are sorely mistaken. This is nothing but a curiosity. A test of Grey Warden's endurance." Morrigan smirked at me. It was probably just Morrigan wanting to scratch her itch but I know it will develop into something more.
"Sure, sure, Morrigan. Whatever you say." I laughed. She glared at me and I should be careful of her in battle now. She would pull something off to shake off her petty grudge. Derek walked over to us with an odd stern expression.
"Witch, missy, it's time for us to set off and…for the mage to get judged." Derek cleared his throat.
"And so they will judge him on his choice of blood magic." Morrigan scoffed before walking away. I remember her reluctance of killing Jowan when first meeting him in the dungeon. Morrigan believes in letting others live as they please and blood magic wasn't looked down in her eyes. Still, this wasn't my choice. Of course, I was betting on Talen on doing something.
I went back to my room to get my pack ready. I was ready to get moving. The peaceful life wasn't suited to me anymore. My mind wanders and it wanders to very dark places. I'd rather go off and fight something rather than stay. Weird how life changes like that. I nodded at the pack, satisfied that I gathered all my things and went downstairs to the throne room.
Derek, Eren, Talen, Alfred, and Alistair were all there. Leliana and Wynne was off to one side. Sten, Zevran, Morrigan, and Shale were absent. I went to stand by the girls while watching the Grey Wardens stand straighter when Eamon came in. Teagan was at his side as he sat down, the fireplace burning wildly behind him, making the shadows darker.
"It's good that you have gathered here for there is much to be done." Eamon rubbed his face, his wrinkles seeming to settle heavier on his face. "Alistair and my brother Teagan have informed me of the plight of the land as well as your mission regarding recruiting those for your army against the Archdemon. I should first be thankful to you Grey Wardens, although it was at a cost that…I'm still absorbing. For saving my son and saving my life, I would like to offer you a reward."
"A reward? Finally some recognition." Derek mumbled before Alistair bumped into him.
"We would be honored to accept, Arl Eamon." Eren nodded before semi-glaring at Derek.
"I would like to declare all Grey Wardens, and the companions that are traveling with you, Champions of Redcliffe. You all will be always a guest in these halls." Eamon announced.
"Thank you Arl Eamon." Alistair said.
"Still there's a lot to talk about." Talen scowled.
"We must speak about Loghain, brother." Teagan started. "We do not know how Loghain will react once he hears of your recovery."
"I still can't believe that Loghain allows civil war when the darkspawn are crawling at our door." Eamon shook his head. "I have known him for many years and he has never been one to desire power."
"There are times when you feel like you know someone, only for them to stab you in the back." Eren shook his head.
"I was there brother when he announced that he was taking control of the kingdom. He is mad with ambition." Teagan frowned.
"I knew there was something off about him when Duncan and I reviewed strategy at the war table." Derek grumbled.
"I do not know what happened to him to cause him to desire power, but he must be stopped. We cannot afford to fight this civil war to the bitter end." Eamon stood up and started to pace, stroking his beard.
"But you can rally the nobles can't you? To fight under your flag against Loghain?" Alistair wondered.
"Yes I can rally the nobles to follow me but not all of them. Loghain has made very powerful allies but we cannot nor have the time to campaign against him. Someone on either side must surrender if we have any chance of defeating the darkspawn." Eamon planned realistically.
"That's not going to be easy considering that he even sent us an assassin." Talen rolled his eyes.
"When can we have someone that will politely surrender to us? 'Hello, I realize that I've been a fool! Let me surrender all my forces and powers for you.'" Alistair acted it out.
"It is never that easy." Eren shook his head.
"Alistair." Eamon put his foot down and everyone stood at attention again. "Although I agree that he must stand down, our army will have to be reserved to fight the darkspawn not each other. I will spread the word of Loghain's treason, here and against the king, but it is a claim made without proof. Those claims will sow doubt in Loghain's allies but we need something else." Eamon put his fist on his hand as he realized something. "We need a challenge to the throne that Loghain cannot ignore, someone with a stronger claim to the throne than Loghain's daughter, the queen." Soon all eyes were on Alistair. It took him a second for it to hit him.
"Oh no…" Alistair put his face in his hands.
"Truly you are not referring to Alistair, are you brother?" Teagan asked.
"Never in my wildest dream would I even propose this alternative but the impossible has occurred." Eamon sighed heavily. It wasn't something he put forward so lightly.
"Alistair, as king?" Leliana breathed out.
"Not a bad promotion if you ask me." I shrugged.
"Should we start referring to him as 'Sire?'" Wynne suggested.
"Oh stop it! I'd make a terrible king! Don't even think about this!" Alistair whined loudly.
"Alistair you know that if I or Teagan would make claim, just through marriage, we would be deemed opportunists no better than Loghain. You have a claim through blood." Eamon explained.
"Have you ever asked about what I want?" Alistair huffed.
"You're not exactly in the position of disagreeing. This decision will decide the future of the country." Eren scowled. "If it comes down to it this will be your duty."
"No pressure." Talen smirked and Alistair glared at him.
"Even then Prince, after all that's said and done, do you really want to fight under Loghain's flag? One side has to give and, at this point, your birth is the only thing that's giving Eamon some weight." Derek said.
"I'd rather not have my birth be put down as a strategy item." Alistair mumbled. "You're right though, if…I have to be king so Loghain can be stopped…then I guess I'll have to." Alistair conceded.
"Then there is only one way to proceed. I will call a Landsmeet and gather all of Ferelden's nobility in the city of Denerim. There, the country of Ferelden, can decide one and for all who shall rule. Once they have decided we can finally focus on fighting our true foe, the darkspawn. What say you friend? I do not want to continue without your blessing." Eamon looked at Eren.
"From what we've discussed, it seems that these are our best options. We should proceed." Eren nodded.
"Very well. I will send out the word as soon as I can." Eamon sat down on his seat. "Before we proceed there is another matter I would like your help with friend. The mage, my son's tutor, still lives."
"He does brother. He has been stationed in the dungeon since the end of the battle." Teagan nodded. I saw Talen's body get rigid. The others were looking at him with worry.
"Bring him here Teagan. I wish to see him." Eamon ordered. Teagan went ahead to go to the dungeons. I felt the rising tension in the room. Talen's face was turned away so I couldn't see his expression. The silence was unbearable and I almost wanted to pace but kept myself still. The clanking of chains came through the door as Teagan had Jowan by the arm. Jowan came through, looking worse from the last time I met him. His eyes had dark rings underneath them and his face looked gaunt. His robes were dirty and loosely hanging off him. Poor guy. Teagan led him toward the center of the room, all eyes on him.
"Jowan. The things that you have done under my home and trust is not in question. You tried to have me killed. In the ensuing chaos, you set to motion events that nearly destroyed an entire village, killed my wife, and almost destroyed everything I know and cherish. What have you to say in your own defense?" Eamon asked.
"I have nothing to say my lord. All I have to offer is my sincerest apologies. I don't expect any mercy for what I have done." Jowan's head hung low. Talen was gripping his robes.
"I see, Grey Wardens, as you know I am horribly biased in this decision. What say you all?" Eamon asked.
"He, although was a perpetrator, did help us in defeating the demon." Eren cleared his throat.
"By killing Isolde." Alistair glared at Jowan. Eren slightly grimaced.
"I have no qualms about magic. Lyrium is the biggest cash nug for our people. Besides, he didn't make the demon come. The only thing I've got a grudge again is that he poisoned you and allied with Loghain. It's not exactly the best thing he could have done." Derek crossed his arms and Jowan's head went ever lower. I saw Talen's brow furrowed and his jaw was clenching hard.
"Yes, the Loghain part is what also hurts though not as much as when he tried killing you." Alistair kept his eyes on Jowan.
"We are all biased against Loghain but we must also consider that he tried his best to redeem himself." Eren played devil's advocate. All the time I was looking at Talen who I thought was about to explode.
"Arl Eamon, I was there when Jowan escaped the Circle." Talen finally piped up. Eamon looked to Talen. His mouth opened and I saw Talen's firelit eyes. "They were going to tranquil him, only because he was slower than the mages. From all the years I've known Jowan, he never wanted to hurt anyone. He fell in love, he wanted freedom because they would take his love away or move him away. He was forced into a position where he was going to die or have another day to live. When someone is pushed to the cliff, anyone would try to at least hold on to the ledge for a little more."
"Talen, what are you talking about? He's a blood mage, he poisoned Arl Eamon, and he inadvertently caused everything that happened!" Alistair was staunchly against anything besides prison or death for Jowan. I didn't blame him.
"When you corner a mabari, it bites back! Yeah, he made shitty choices all because of his shitty magic but he had nowhere else to go! I tried to give him a choice back in the tower too but they stopped me!" Talen's voice broke. "He should be given a chance!"
Eamon entertwined his fingers as he watched Talen vouch for Jowan. Talen was shaking as he stood against his brothers in arm and, for the first time since he came in, Jowan had raised his head. His eyes were glistening with tears. After he betrayed Talen and everything, Talen still wanted to protect him.
"Talen, he is a blood mage! Two wrongs don't make a right!" Alistair shouted.
"I'm a blood mage too." Talen added quietly, looking straight at him.
"That…" Alistair took a step back and looked away. "That's different." He stated.
"You're only saying that because it suits your needs and the needs of the group! Don't be a hypocrite!" Talen shouted.
"Enough!" Eren yelled at both of them. "I think we've said enough." He let that hang. Alistair and Talen didn't look at each other. Derek rubbed his chin and gave out a sigh.
"You know what? I'll take the priss' side on this. I've done my fair share of shady shit and someone gave me a chance. I'll vouch for the man." Derek announced. Talen's face lit up and Alistair scoffed.
"Eren, have you made a decision?" Eamon asked quietly.
"It is hard to be impartial here." Eren exhaled. Talen, for once in days, looked at me. His honey colored eyes was waiting for a sign. I wasn't sure what I should do or if it was the right choice. I moved my head in the essence that said, 'Go ahead.'
"His choices are execution here or to be sent back to the Circle for sentencing." Eamon mentioned.
"That's not his only options." Talen started. Everyone stared at him. "I have another option, let him become a Grey Warden my lord."
"You cannot be serious right now." Alistair breathed out.
"It's like a prison sentence and you know that Alistair. Being a Grey Warden isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows. Let him live out his redemption by killing darkspawn." Talen said. "He gets his comeuppance and he gets a chance."
"I'm afraid I cannot abide by that." Eamon said. "He must be given punishment for his crimes." The group grew silent. Talen gave me a side glance and I smiled. That seemed to give him the final push.
"Then I invoke the Right of Conscription. He's under my care now." Talen made his back straighter while staring at Eamon. If jaws could drop to the floor, they would have by now. Eamon's beard bristled, I swear. Teagan looked like he sucked a lemon and I was trying my hardest not to laugh at their faces. Derek broke the tension by laughing his head off. Eren gaped and Alistair was fuming. Eamon let out a long exhale.
"I see." Eamon disdainfully said. He wasn't happy with this at all. "Grey Wardens reserve the right and I will abide by it. However, Jowan is not a Champion of Redcliffe. He is not to set foot in the castle and is not welcome in my village. Should he come, he is to stay out in the Hinterlands, am I clear?" Eamon laid out his rules.
"Yes my lord." Talen nodded. "I'll take him out right now." Eamon nodded to Teagan and he went with the key to unlock Jowan's cuffs. He did so with a scowl. Talen grabbed Jowan's wrist and walked out. I didn't stay after that. As Eamon was starting to explain the plan, I walked out. I followed Talen and Jowan as they made their way out before I sprinted and launched myself at Talen.
"I can't believe you fucking did it!" I laughed as he teetered on his feet before we both fell to the ground.
"Ow! Get off me! You weight a ton with that armor on!" Talen pushed me off and I laughed. I helped him up and I gave him a big smile. His face grew red and he looked away bashfully.
"Good job Talen. I'm surprised you took my advice." I smirked.
"I, what is going on?" Jowan wondered.
"Conscripting you was my idea originally." I pointed to myself. "I offered it as a third choice in case Talen didn't want to see you dead, which you would be right now either by Eamon or the Circle. Not to say being a Grey Warden is the best job really but it gives you a chance and that is what we were looking for." I poked Jowan. He seemed to laugh weakly.
"It wasn't really planned and we can't indict you in yet. There's a ceremony and a sludge you have to drink and we can't do that right now. For now, we'll just have you around but if you run, I'm sure Alistair is going to take your head." Talen explained.
"I'm not running, not anymore. I'm tired of it." Jowan's eyes seemed to glow stronger now that he was, technically sorta, free.
"Good. Talen, take Jowan to at least see the blacksmith and see if he has leftover leathers or armor. As much as I would like to leave you in your mage robes, they are filthy and should be promptly burned in a fire." I chuckled. Jowan shied away but nodded.
"We'll meet you at the stables." Talen said as he led Jowan away. Jowan looked back and bowed slightly at me before catching up to Talen. I'm still not sure if I made the right decision but Jowan was made this way by his surroundings and, as well, as the choices that were presented to him. I looked down from the trail to the village down below. The trail rounded to a giant cliff where Castle Redcliffe stood. There's a reason why it was one of the most well defended points in Ferelden.
I wasn't able to save Isolde. I feel guilty from not being able to convince Eren to go to the Circle but that decision lied with him, not me. The guilt wasn't as grand as Castle Highever, but I still hold myself accountable. Now, with my intervention, I saved another man and that lessened the burdened, slightly.
"I must admit, that was a twist I wasn't expecting." Leliana walked with Wynne toward me.
"You had something to do with this, didn't you?" Wynne crossed her arms.
"What me? You really think I have the mind to pull off something like this?" I feigned ignorance.
"I know you had something to do with it with all the constant mumbling Talen did. He mentioned you several times and don't think I didn't catch him looking at you at the sentencing." Wynne wagged her finger at me. I put up my hands in defeat.
"Ok, I might have put the idea in his head but it really was all up to him." I said.
"What I want to know is why?" Leliana asked. Wynne also gave me a curious glance.
"Jowan, on the one hand he made a lot of mistakes, on the other hand, it was his environment that influenced those mistakes. Talen told me about Jowan and what he did. Jowan just wanted to be a free man, to spend his life with someone he loved, to not be shackled down by his talent." I started.
"Young lady, may I remind you how dangerous magic really is? It was a decision made by the Chantry and the Enchanters that he should be made tranquil." Wynne said.
"Does that mean you should kill young children that are slow at their studies too? That you should give up on the ones that don't show progress as fast as others?" I countered.
"Magic is not the same as knowledge. It is a dangerous double edged sword that can strike its wielder as it can strike the innocent." Wynne said.
"No, what tranquility is, is an easy solution to an overall hard problem. Sure, Jowan isn't good at magic but that doesn't mean you should completely cut him off from life. What you, as a teacher, should have done was work with him more, build his confidence, tell him that he could have succeeded given enough time but no. You all chose the easy way out and decided to sentence a man that was innocent, for the most part. The only reason Jowan chose blood magic was because you didn't give him another choice." I stood up to Wynne. There was a reason why I didn't like the Circle in general or tranquility. Ameridan was right. They were just abusing it. "So I offered a third choice to Talen, use the right to conscript him into the Grey Wardens. It is still a punishment, regardless, but at least this gives Jowan years of his life to look back on what he has done and repent. That's all I offered."
"It is still not right." Wynne frowned.
"Maybe not in your eyes but for Talen? Today he saved his friend, a brother that he couldn't save before and that relief on his face is all the thanks I need. We look at the world differently Wynne and I do look to you for guidance on some things but you should also look at things in another perspective too. After all, it's not too late for an old dog to learn new tricks." I mentioned before walking off. I'd rather not get into an argument with Wynne. I like her too much for that. I heard some steps behind me and Leliana quickly walked beside me.
"I am not sure who to agree with. I grew up with the Chantry and their rules, about how magic can easily turn on people, the possession and what we've seen in the Circle. Yet, what you say about the abuse, their confining rules, what Talen had told me…I'm swaying in between both sides." Leliana said quietly.
"Not a single large entity can remain as they are. Corruption will always slither between the cracks. I don't like tranquility. I don't like how some Circles abuse their wards. It's supposed to be a home not a prison. The thing is the Chantry is always spouting off how magic is evil, how mages can become evil and are dangerous as a whole. Tell me Leliana, do you think Wynne and Talen can turn on you at any moment?" I asked.
"Of course not. I trust them with my life." Leliana answered.
"See? Leliana, people are evil but magic is not. Magic is only a tool to be used. Depending on the person, it can be used for good or evil. We can't just label it off like that. It's the reason why some mages turn to blood magic in the first place, because they think there's no other way and you know why they think like that? Because the Chantry won't give them any other choices. It needs to change but I can't do that because I'm only one person. If I can save one life though, then it makes it worthwhile." I ended my rant.
"You have given me a lot to think about." Leliana said. I nodded. We walked to the stables where everyone has been gathered. Sten and Shale were standing close together in silence. I had to put down my glee when I saw them.
Talen and Jowan were most likely around the blacksmith to pick something out for him. Zevran went up to both Leliana and I and started to flirt. I rolled my eyes and Leliana gave him a small threat. Morrigan wasn't there though I knew she was close. I put my pack in the wagon and sat down. I opened my journal that was filled halfway already. Where are we going now? The Dalish elves or Orzammar? Wherever we go, it's another step in the right direction. With Shale and Jowan here though, I'm sure my journal is going to get full that much quicker.
Beta'd by Syutaku
Did I mention that Talen was my favorite? Because he is. If I ever make an original idea myself, I'd definitely put Talen into it! Anyway, this chapter of Redcliffe is now closed. Next up, Orzammar! It's going to go down more seriously than the last and I will explore more of the dwarves culture :)
Also I need some help guys. Shale's character has always been difficult for me to write which is why I didn't really include her in my last story. Things will be different because of the book Asunder, that's why she's here now. If there is anyone that is good at some minor DA roleplay, I would like to with someone being Shale so I can get the feel of her. Of course if no one comes up, I'll figure it out eventually lol
Thank you Shibashi61 (I love that you favorited/followed everything), and ArisuTamaZuki for favoriting/following! Thank you Judy and faylent for reviewing!
Chimera Spyke: Hm that is a good thought. I might put it in :)
Please Review! :D