Mind Tricks

by Corellian Blue

(first published 2003, revised 2016, 2020)

Warnings: mental health issues

VII

The trek to the clearing was relatively easy; an effortless two-kilometre walk through the trees that could have been considered romantic if not for the reality of where they were heading.

They walked hand-in-hand in the late afternoon sunshine, as if on a lovers' stroll. The silence between them was relaxed and comfortable, a simple look or the gentle squeeze of a hand speaking more than words. Han seemed less depressed and distant than he had been, and more prepared to respond to when she asked him a question. Leia took note of his apparent mood-swing, wondering if the mix of light exercise and the dappled sun on their shoulders was helping him.

Their easy companionship reminded Leia of the way it had been between them on the flight to Bespin—after they had started sleeping together. Once their repressed sexual tension and energy had been thoroughly exposed and catered for, their relationship had deepened and blossomed in a way neither of them had anticipated. Spite and irritation were replaced with consideration, gentleness and love. Sitting in that YT-1300-shaped bubble, relishing the endless hours to intimately explore one another, the cares of the galaxy had no longer applied to them.

Leia had always been adept at compartmentalising her thoughts and emotions; prioritising the significant issues that required immediate attention; winnowing out the detritus and relegating it to one side. That is why she had ended up in Han's bunk. Sorting out what had been going on between them—giving in to hopes and desires—took precedence for them both.

It was exactly what Leia was doing now. Han was her priority, not any reaction or reflection she might have towards her parentage. Despite what Luke had told her, Bail and Breha Organa were her parents; they had raised her and loved her, had instilled in her the principles she in which believed and followed. Just because some failed Jedi—

Leia deliberately drew her focus away from what lay ahead, what she would see at the funeral pyre. She concentrated on Han and practised the passive sensing techniques Luke had taught her.

She was surprised how easy it was to detect the essence of who Han was, to perceive the patterns he generated and displaced in the Force; almost like suddenly being able to see and read a text that formerly had been invisible. This was what she had been doing, unknowingly, last night in the Falcon when she had been thinking about Han: sensing his presence in the Force.

Han's underlying emotions also became apparent to her. To outward appearances, he was calm, relaxed. Internally, he was a coiled spring of tension and anxiety. Leia suspected he was trying not to think about something, just as she was.

The closer they got to the clearing, the more restrained Han became. His pace slowed, and Leia found herself almost tugging on his hand, encouraging him to follow her down the path she instinctively knew to take. At least Han seemed content for her to take the lead and did not question how she knew the way to a place she had never been.

The ground rose up into a gentle hill and the trees began to thin out. At the top of the incline, a speeder bike rested next to a fallen log. Leia supposed it was the one Han had used, and Luke had removed it from the clearing prior to lifting off in the shuttle. She couldn't help feeling relieved that Han hadn't hallucinated the bike.

Leia released Han's hand without giving it another thought and moved ahead of him up the slope. Studying Han through the Force over the last hour had sharpened her senses. She was extraordinarily aware of her increased heart rate, the rush of breath in her ears and an inexorable pull, an enticing curiosity that urged her on. Strangely enough, she was no longer fearful of what she would find.

The clearing came into view as she neared the crest of the slope, rising into her line of sight. The open ground was vacant and, she realised, barely big enough to land a Lambda class shuttle on. A blackened smudge of dirt was the only indication of what had happened here.

Leia's immediate reaction was disappointment. She didn't quite know what she had been expecting. Perhaps the remains of the pyre, burnt logs, dead coals—something to indicate this was the end, it was over. But this…this was literally nothing.

Luke must have cleared it up, Leia reasoned to herself. To stop the souvenir hunters and scavengers from desecrating the memory of Anakin Skywalker.

"Luke must've—"

The sharp glance she aimed at Han halted his comment. She hadn't realised he had caught up to her and now stood beside her at the edge of the clearing. She softened her glare with a regretful smile, but his gaze had drifted to the scorched patch of ground and he missed her apology. Leia followed his eyes. There was nothing left to see. She was relieved she didn't have to deal with the emotions that seeing Vader's pyre may have generated. But at the same time, she couldn't help feeling a sense of regret that she had been denied the opportunity to experience those emotions. She couldn't even say good-bye—good riddance—to a man she had not known.

Leia stepped out from under the trees and onto the bare earth, moving towards the place where Luke had cremated their birth father in the fashion of the Jedi. Tentatively at first, then more confidently as she neared the blackened earth, Leia opened herself to the Force.

For a moment, she sensed nothing. Closing her eyes, she widened her scope and stretched out her feelings. An incredible surge of energy suddenly assailed her mind and body, overwhelming her in a white-green squall. Almost sensory overload, it was like nothing she could have imagined.

Concentrating on Luke's teachings, Leia rode the wave, accepting and revelling in the energy the life-force gave her. It took her a few minutes to separate the different strands into distinct groupings. She could sense the trees and plants in the surrounding forest, the animals and insects hiding in the lush vegetation, and the comforting presence of Han behind her where he'd remained to check out the speeder bike. But immediately in front of her, where Vader's pyre had been, there was nothing. There was a gap in the Force, a vacuum, an absence of the energy that sent shivers through her body. It was as if a black hole had opened in the fabric of space and sucked it away.

Leia opened her eyes and looked back at Han. He was staring intently at the speeder, fiddling with a display on the instrument panel, deliberately trying to ignore the fact she was looking at him. He grimaced as he rubbed a spot on his temple, and she wondered if he was getting a headache.

Leia returned her attention to the puzzling gap before her. She was a novice to the Force, yet instinctively she knew it wasn't anything she was or wasn't doing. She again wished that Luke had remained with them, that he hadn't been so eager to rush off to Dagobah. He may have been able to explain this phenomenon to her.

The hair at the nape of her neck rose and laser bursts suddenly rained down on the ground she'd been looking at. Gasping, Leia twisted around towards Han. He was unarmed and concentrating on the speeder bike, oblivious to any blaster fire. He'd neither caused it nor seen it, otherwise he would've rushed protectively to her side at the first indication of danger.

Leia was still staring across the clearing at him, when an image of Han swamped her mind. He was kneeling on the ground at her feet, shaking violently as he vomited into the dirt. She immediately looked down, but he wasn't there. She found him back by the speeder where he'd always been. Her eyes darted between the spot on the ground where she had seen Han retching and the outskirts of the clearing where he was physically.

It was a vision, she quickly realised. An insight into something that had happened, or a premonition of things to come. Nothing to be frightened of now. If it had already happened, there was nothing she could do to stop it, but if it was in the future then she may be able to help him.

Leia glanced over her shoulder at the discoloured patch of dirt, the place where a hole in the Force existed, but nothing was clearer to her. Then she caught movement out the corner of her eye and turned back again. A young man around her age stood between her and the edge of the clearing. His light brown hair had a rebellious wave to it. The cut of his tunic and trousers reminded her of the dark clothes Luke had recently chosen to wear. There was a familiarity to the shape of his face, but also a strangeness that found her wondering who he was. His eyes were dark and had a mischievous glint that was like Han's, but unlike Han there was an underlying menace.

Then the young man spoke with an accent that reminded her of Luke's, and one Leia felt certain she had heard before: "I'd be much too frightened to tease a senator."

The corner of the young man's mouth tugged up to one side and he spoke her name without moving his lips. "Leia?"

Leia blinked and Han's features materialised over the face of the stranger as he asked, "Leia? Are you all right?"

She realised Han hadn't suddenly appeared. He'd always been there. It was the young man who had vanished.

Leia swallowed the tightness from her throat and nodded absently. She scanned the clearing for any sign of the stranger, wondering who he was. Another vision? Someone who would come into her life in the future? Or someone from the past she would never know?

Han didn't appear convinced as he moved towards her. Leia could sense the protective concern he felt towards her, his own unease forgotten.

"Princess?"

She met his questioning gaze and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine," she told him. "Really."

Han brushed the back of his finger down her cheek, his mouth twitching up sceptically. "Come on." He took her hand. "Let's get outta here."

Leia gave the clearing one more furtive glance before following him back to the speeder bike.