Chapter 22

So, I ended going with Ed to his continental breakfast. He'd told me he'd asked Kristen, but she apparently couldn't attend because she had to organize some papers in the archives she runs at the precinct. I roll my eyes, even I could think of a more legitimate excuse than that, but he retold it to me as if it were perfectly genuine.

"So Natalie," he begins as we approach the Gotham City Suites Kane Lounge, "how goes the escapades with your mysterious suitor?"

"C'mon Ed, do we really have to talk about this now? It's your day, enjoy it." I encourage him.

"Yes, it is my day, therefore, you will answer my question with adequate detail and supporting facts."

I sigh, "Fine," we walk into the lounge to be greeted with a mostly empty room. The breakfast, as well as tables, chairs, and a display presenting the Whippleburn Prize and Edward Nygma as its winner have all been set up. There are two other people in attendance, one of them a woman standing by the front of the stage, and the other a woman sitting by herself at one of the tables.

"Ah yes, Edward Nygma I presume, the man of the hour! I'm Dr. Leslie Thompkins, proprietor of the Whippleburn Prize, " the woman by the stage welcomes, approaching Ed and firmly shaking his hand, "and this is your girlfriend?"

"Just friend." I clarify, slightly embarrassed, although a lot of people have made that assumption before.

She shakes my hand, "Well, you two help yourselves to the food. Edward, I believe your boss is here to congratulate you as well."

Ed swivels around and sees the other woman, who is now standing in front of him, "Yes I am, congrats Ed."

"T-thank you, Captain Essen. It's an honor indeed."

"You two help yourselves to the food, and enjoy yourselves." Dr. Thompkins smiles, before leaving us.

"Would you like to sit with me once you've gotten something to eat?" Captain Essen asks.

Ed nods, "Of course we would."

He and I walk over to the two tables set up and get our plates. I peer over at Ed,

"You alright? You look kind of...frazzled."

He remains silent, his eyes shifting in various directions, "I'm...rather upset right now. This is a high honor to be bestowed upon me and yet only a single person shows up," his gaze drifts over his boss, "and she's probably only here on social obligation."

He piles up his plate with an assortment of muffins, "Now, tell me about your lover. It'll brighten my spirits to take my mind off of this chagrin."

I frown, placing my hand on his shoulder, "First of all Ed, I want you to know that I'm so, so proud of you…"

He straightens his posture, and resumes his usual enthusiastic smile. He covers my hand with his, his eyelids becoming droopy, "I know Natalie, but you're avoiding the question again."

I smirk, "Alright. Well, first off, he's definitely not my lover. And...and things have become complicated."

"How so?"

"I don't know if I like him...or if he even likes me. We both have something else to gain from the relationship, if you could even call it a relationship." I explain.

"Hmm...I see," he watches as I pour him a glass of orange juice as well as one for myself, "well, while I've never met this fellow, and I believe that should be rectified soon, I do know how you tend to be concerning romantic interests."

He puts down his plate, "You see, you're like a horizontal asymptote," with one hand, he straightens it out so that it goes straight across from left to right, "and your romantic pursuers are like decreasing exponential functions," with his other arm, he diagrams a line plunging down to his other arm, but leveling out just as it reaches his other arm, "they come racing to meet you, but it's mathematically impossible to do so, since exponential functions can never meet with their horizontal asymptotes."

I raise an eyebrow and chuckle, "Ed, you do realize nobody's going to understand what you just said, right?"

He puts his arms down and picks his plate back up, "I know...I just felt like it had to be said."

We walk up to the table where Captain Essen is nibbling a bagel, she looks up, "Oh, hello you two, please, sit."

We sit across from her, and Ed takes a chunk out of the top of his muffin, chewing profusely.

"I'm surprised I've never heard of you before, Ed's never mentioned having any friends...at all." she confesses.

I laugh, "Ed's interests often lead him to a more private life than most, but he's a very good friend."

"How long have you two known each other?" she asks.

"Since we were kids, junior high, I think."

"Sixth grade, basketball court, someone threw my lunchbox into the bushes, you tore after it and got poison ivy. I thankfully, knew how to concoct a quick remedy for her rashes and was able to stop the swelling within a day or two." Ed explains.

I smile, "Wow, you still remember."

"Of course, it was the first considerate thing a classmate had ever done for me;" he grins back, but then glances over to his boss, "Natalie here would make a great police officer, don't you think?"

Captain Essen furrows her brow, "Wha-what makes you think that, Ed?"

"Oh just the fact that she's already had basic police training, but was declined because she'd applied before the height restrictions were lifted, also because she's been very secretive with me for the past five years after we graduated from high school which makes me suspect she's been working for the government during that time, also not to mention that currently your male-to-female ratio for police officers is fifteen male officers for every female officer. A little bit of a deficit, don't you think?" he smiles triumphantly.

Damn, although I shouldn't be surprised Ed would figure out I'd been working for the government. He's just prone to figuring out everything.

"Oh...well Natalie, would you be interested in joining the police force? We are in need of officers."

It's true, it was my dream to become a police officer all through high school, and I did get training, which was elevated further by my CIA training. It's just that I'm about six inches under minimum height requirement, and the only reason I by-passed operative requirements was because of an incident that happened at my college…

"I'll consider it." I conclude, smiling.

"Good," she hands me a card, "here's my number, we'll be in touch."

I find Oswald waiting by my door just as I'm about to leave for work. I smile, as he offers his hand, which I take,

"How did your meeting with the MCU officers go?"

With our linked hand, he pulls me closer, "Well, they didn't believe me at first, but as soon as I told them I'd seen Fish with Martha Wayne's missing necklace, they believed me. They're the few good cops, but they're not corruptible, so I'll have to be careful around them."

I nod, jogging down every word in my memory, "Good, do you think they could make an arrest using that information?"

He shakes his head, "No, the police are in on it. They framed another man for the murder of the Waynes. This is just to get some cops on my side. They'll be valuable assets when I actually make a move on Fish."

We make our way down the final flight of stairs to the lobby. I stroke his chin, "It's almost like you're some kind of...criminal mastermind."

He takes my other hand into his, "Oh, make no mistake, I am." he leans in and kisses me on the lips, and his hands wrestle out of mine and grab at my hips as he pulls me further into the kiss.

"Would you two please get a room?" the drugged out manager grumbles from his desk.

Author's Note:

Fuchsia Grasshopper: Awe, thanks, I was contemplating saving the love confession for later down the line, but it just seemed so appropriate for that moment. And I'd say that Natalie/Trixie is still pretty far off from coming to any sort of conclusion about her feelings for him, especially since new factors keep getting thrown at her, like Oswald's violence.

Kitten: Thank you :)

Guest: Yeah, the storyline will basically follow the show now. And which part killed you? The love confession or the West Side Story reference?

Thanks! :)