Mind Tricks
by Corellian Blue
(first published 2003, revised 2016, 2020)
Warnings: mental health issues
XI
The ghost of Anakin Skywalker was waiting for Leia when she returned to the hold. He was standing next to the game table, scanning the screen of her datapad.
Prying.
Leia's eyes hardened. This man—vision—ghost—did not deserve her time let alone her respect. She had better things to do. Like shut down the datapad and return to Han's side.
"What do you want?" Leia instinctively growled. "No, don't answer that because I'm not interested. I'm not going to talk to you, and I don't want to listen to anything you have to say."
The wry smirk Skywalker gave her only served to further infuriate her. Leia snatched the datapad away from his view.
"I don't want you here, understand?" Hanwouldn't want Vader in the Falcon; he'd have a fit. "Leave. Disappear. Dematerialise. Go back to wherever it is you now belong. I'm hoping it's hell!"
The man's sardonic grin persisted, and Leia turned her back on him, checking to see that the information on the datapad was still intact, that he hadn't been tampering with it.
"How's Han?"
Leia stared at the datapad screen, refused to look at him. "Why do you care?"
"I feel responsible—"
She rounded on him, spitting out, "Responsible?"
Responsible for the millions who had died and suffered through his actions, his instructions and by his own hand.
Responsible for her own torment and interrogation on the Death Star.
Responsible for the torture of Han. For using him to test the capability of the carbon freezing chamber.
Responsible?
Vader had hurt, destroyed or taken away everything Leia had ever loved or held dear.
Leia could feel the flash of her anger freezing into cold, hard revulsion, and she fought to reel herself back in before it engulfed her. Luke had warned her against giving in to hatred. She needed to practice self-control.
She told him, "After everything you've done, you have no right to be concerned for Han. I won't let you."
Skywalker's voice was calm and reasonable. "Is his burn healing?"
The blood drained from Leia's face. She didn't want to ask, but the words came out regardless, bitter and edged with disbelief. "What do you know about it?"
Skywalker said nothing, but his eyes spoke volumes. He'd been there, at the pyre, when Han had turned up on the speeder bike. He'd seen it happen.
"You were there," Leia accused. Her anger flared, a red darkness momentarily obscuring her vision. "What did you do?!" Then just as quickly she knew what had happened. He had stopped it. He had saved Han.
The ghost of Anakin Skywalker—her father—seemed abashed. "Child's play," he explained dismissively. "A simple trick. Just flicked on the blaster's safety."
A chill crept up Leia's spine and she folded her arms across her chest, a pathetic effort to fight off the cold. She couldn't look at him, instead turned her gaze towards the deckplates.
"You'll heal Han, Leia," Skywalker told her gently. "You've already taken the first steps."
Leia looked at her father and his grin returned.
"Believe in yourself," he urged. "It's as simple as my trick with the blaster. Love him, and it will guide you."
She hoarsely whispered, "What could you know about love?"
The ghost's face became solemn. "To hate, one must first know love."
Leia held herself tighter. She didn't want to hear any more. "Have you finished?"
He smiled at her sadly. The spirit of Anakin Skywalker disappeared.
Leia inhaled deeply, anxiously trying to compose herself.
Don't think about it, she told herself. Don't think about it, now or later.
She didn't want to imagine that her father—Vader!—might once have loved her mother. At the same time, she couldn't help but acknowledge that she and Luke were the result of the love that Padme and Anakin had shared.
But why had he saved Han? After the disregard and antipathy Vader had shown towards the Corellian, why would Skywalker's ghost save Han? To ingratiate himself with his daughter? To make her feel indebted to him?
Leia flicked off the datapad and dropped it on the tech station console. No matter why it had happened, Han was alive and for that she was undeniably grateful.
Han was waiting for her in her cabin. Now, more than ever, he needed her. She could help him; she knew she could, because she loved him.
She left the hold and returned to her lover's side.