Mal was already annoyed that the Junior Captain (he could barely believe the man was out of diapers) was keeping them waiting to discuss policies. But the tension in the bridge when he entered with Inara on his arm was so thick Jayne noticed. The man was ordinarily quite dense. But he fidgeted nervously as Inara released Kirk's arm and thanked him before joining the group.
"So, first order of business..." Mal began as Kirk sat down in a chair like it was a throne.
"Where is Khan?" Kirk demanded, looking up at them.
Mal was reminded just how much he did not like this man.
"River decided it'd be better to keep him on the Serenity, even within the ship." He replied, thankful the girl had given him something to irk Captain Toddler. "She is also there, keeping an eye on him, and wanted me to turn on communications so she could join the conversation from the cockpit."
"...Very well." Kirk murmured, waving his hand and signaling to Sulu to turn on the channel.
After a moment River Tam appeared again, this time on the screen facing the bridge. Over her shoulder in the back of the room Kirk spied Khan and he went tense. There was no way he'd be reassured as long as that man was loose.
"Kirk. Captain Reynolds." River smiled softly. "Good to see you've all converged on the bridge without any fatalities."
Mal couldn't be sure but he thought he saw the flicker of a smirk on the superhuman's lips in the background.
"Hello little Albatross. You're live and updating both crews."
"Thank you, Captain." River did someone on the controls and the image of the celestial body of Miranda appeared. "This is Miranda. This is our destination. It is terraformed, stable, developed, and deserted. The ships have been completely taken off planet by creatures called Reavers..."
As Mal knew most of what she was saying, he moved past where Kaylee was cuddling against Simon like a kitten toward Inara.
"What was that?" He murmured to the companion.
"What was what, Mal?" Inara raised a brow, tilting her head.
"Don't get cute with me. You know what I mean. You and Captain Baby Face."
"He offered to escort me to the Bridge." Inara replied simply. "I accepted."
"If you ask me he wants to escort you to more then the bridge." Mal snorted.
"Perhaps." Inara replied. "But that won't be happening."
Malcolm had just about exhaled when she added a capita.
"Now, Helmsman Sulu seems charming." Inara added quietly. Mal nearly choked and Jayne began to guffaw.
"Children, is there a problem back there?" River's voice rang and Inara chuckled, shaking her head.
"Just the usual, River. Deepest apologies."
"Very well." River exhaled and turned. "Kirk, does your ship have a medic?"
"Bones McCoy. Who is constantly reminding me his strength is as a doctor." Kirk replied. "Captain Kirk." He added, trying to remind River.
"Dr. McCoy, our ship's second in Command is Pregnant."
"That much I concluded." Bones chuckled a bit. "Though Second in command I hadn't realized."
"While my brother has been keeping track of the progress overall, I'm also positive you have better resources to see how she's doing." River stated.
"River..." Zoe began to speak up.
"Just a check up. The baby needs it."
Mal once again pondered the possible threat of River someday taking over a ship. At this point he hoped she comandeered Captain BabyFace's Enterprise.
"Mal. One other concern." Inara whisper reached him as Zoe, Bones, and River began to debate if the pregnant woman needed a check up.
"What, don't interrupt your tea party with the helmsman?"
"No, their Chief Engineer, Scotty, is horribly smitten with Kaylee."
"How do you even know this?" Mal gave her a funny look.
"Other then I pay attention, Scotty can't stop looking at her. I don't think she's noticed."
"I wondered why the Doc seemed so sour." Mal sighed. "I don't see the issue."
"We're going to be traveling with this crew for several months. Mark my words, this is going to cause trouble."
"I'm oddly not that worried. Though, if Kaylee and the Doc break up, do we have to keep him?"
"Mal!"
"You're right, River wouldn't let us ditch her brother." Mal rolled his eyes.
"Fine, I'll get a gorram check up!"
Zoe's exasperated sigh interrupted the sequence and Mal looked back to the screen. Khan hadn't moved an inch, and Kirk hadn't stopped glaring at him.
"Vey good." River exhaled. "A final note. Given past conflict and troublesome interactions, Khan will remain on the Serenity under my watch for the majority of the trip. He and his crew are now under my protection. I understand passions are high. But that is my final word on the matter."
"And you think you can keep Khan under control and on that ship?" Kirk snorted.
"Something you and Khan have in common, Kirk." River chimed and Mal inwardly cheered when the young man winced. "You keep underestimating me."