Chapter 3: Peace and Acceptance

P O V: Stella Kidd

A/N: Rated T for some sexual description.

"Stella, baby, what's wrong?" Kelly's voice whispers in my ear as his arms wrap tightly around my bare chest across, my back which his naked body is pressed against fantastic amazing lips are trailing sweet honey BBQ flavored kisses all down my neck, spine. "I don't know Kelly. I can't put it into words, I can't pinpoint what it is or why I feel this way. I just have a bad feeling. Kelly, I never ignore my feelings. My gut has gotten me through every hardship in life."

"I get that Stella, I understand it I use the same techniques, always rely on your guts, heart. Sometimes though baby you need a rest. All year we've been struggling, going back and forth between one crisis after another. You deserve to take some time. Zach's gone; Anna is gone, we're both hurting babe, what's the harm in a little fun?" "A little? Kelly is more like six or seven times."

"I'm not complaining." Crawling on top of him, I smile slightly at least try to. I want him to know how much I appreciate him, love being with him, yet it's almost like my muscles forget how to smile and be happy.

His hands roam my body as I guide him inside of me, moaning in delight as he starts to thrust. "Damn baby, I like it when we have fun." "I know you do Kelly." guiding his hands to my butt checks, I watch his eyes dance with delight as they watch my chest rise, fall. "Stella you are barely smiling, I know I am getting old, but I know I haven't lost my touch, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry I can't shake this damn feeling it keeps getting more and more gut-wrenching. I haven't felt this way since Harry; I don't want ever to make that mistake again." He doesn't ask who Harry is or why I keep thinking of another man while we make love. Kelly's impressive that way, I know he's thinking about it wondering, probably getting pissed. Yet he trusts me. So he keeps quiet, giving me my space.

"Relax Stella, your thinking too hard warmth spreads through my lower half as my moans get louder. "I'm just confused how could Gabby leave her whole life behind? She has a husband she made vows to,; we're her family. How could she be such a bitch to Brett? She's so sweet; she didn't deserve that."

"She has her reasons after Shay nearly died, I ran as far away from Chicago as I could. It was simply to painful to be around the crew knowing that they saw the truth. I couldn't save her. I was not leader material. At least that's what I told myself." "I needed to lick my wounds. To find my own way.'

"You came around though at some point. " I did because Matt wouldn't give up, and we won't give up on them Stella, but tonight needs to be about us. It'll be hard at first, they'll feel alone, angry, confused, scare. Depressed. They may drink too much sleep too little, but they'll rise, the human spirit is unbreakable."

"I wish that were true Kelly, but it isn't people break; sometimes they shatter like glass, there's no putting shattered glass back together, there are simply too many fragments." "That's why we should be there. Kelly tonight's going to be the hardest...oh god!" My body took over my mind; each thrust became more feverish, harder. "We promised Stella after you saw Gabby's status, no cell's, no electrical Devices taking the night off, just the two of us. We have the right to be happy. No matter how much someone else is hurting. We can't take away their pain."

I squeal as he throws me down on the bed my legs spread wider so he can now lay in between them pumping faster, both of us panting as our bodies start to climax together, our lips smashing together. I grip his arms so strong, so big our bodies mold together as human canvases feverish as we make love.

"We all deserve peace Stella, the sooner we find the acceptance to allow ourselves to be happy, to make mistakes, hurt to simply be human, the more peaceful our lives will become."

Why is Harry on my mind so much though? Block him out, Stella, he's gone. He's been gone for years he's my past. Kelly is my present and my future, he's right here. There's always tomorrow to worry about Sylvie and Matt. Tomorrow, I'll talk to Matt, spend the day with him, make sure he's eating properly, sleeping. Tomorrow I'll take Sylvie out on a girl's night.

Tomorrow.