Chapter 53

I wake the next morning as if it were a normal day. And to be fair, it is. Normal days are so rare for me these days, for better or for worse. I get out of bed and stride over to the living room. I open the door to find Oswald still asleep on the couch. I look over and see that his knife is on the kitchen counter, so even if he's just pretending to be asleep, at least he's unarmed.

I cautiously approach him, still half-expecting him to lash out and attack me. At the foot of the couch,

I get on my knees, "Oswald, it's time to wake up."

He stirs, but only slightly. I place my hand on the couch next to his, and his hand moves over so that it's touching mine, "Trixie, I love you."

Against my better judgement, I respond, "I love you too, Oswald."

Silence pervades the room for a few breathless moments, the consequences of my confession racing through my mind. There are moments when I do love him, as terrible and irrational as that sounds. Perhaps I am no better than him, a psychotic who takes as they please. But as Oswald begins to wake, blinking his eyes open, I realize that what I feel is far more complex than petty greed. No, I want to help him...and I am. He needs to learn from his mistakes, as well as take responsibility for his actions.

"Oh Trixie, I had the most wonderful dream," he whispers, clenching my hand.

"Really? What was it about?" I ask, genuinely curious. Please don't be perverted, please don't be perverted…

He chuckles, wrapping his fingers around my smaller hand, "I was...I was rich. You were there, supportive as always. Mother approved of our relationship, and we all lived together in a fabulous castle of ice."

"Well, that sounds like a lovely dream, but now I believe it's time that you leave," I inform him, standing up and letting go of his hand, "I've already packed all of your things into the briefcase over there."

Oswald leaps up from his sleeping position on the couch, "Trixie, why in such a rush? I've only just awaken-"

I hand him the briefcase and cross my arms, "If I let you stay any longer then you're never going to leave. Tell your mother I said hello-" I suddenly stop myself, "actually, don't. If anything, you need to convince her you were anywhere but here."

"Trixie, don't you feel you're being a bit rash? After all, don't you enjoy my company?" he asks, his tone becoming increasingly more concerned.

"I shouldn't have let this go on for as long as it has. Considering we still live in the same building, we'll probably still see each other from time to time, although I've been thinking about moving out to somewhere else. A nicer apartment maybe, less noise…"

My tone is cold as I briskly stride over to open the door. Holding it open for him, I gesture with one hand for him to leave. But he just stands in place, firmly gripping the handle of the leather briefcase.
"...so this is it then? Throwing me out like trash...do I really mean that little to you?" rings of red brim around his eyes, and his nose turns a bright pink as the first sniffles come about.

Scared to approach him, I cling to the doorway, "Oswald, no, it's nothing like that. First of all, you need to stop avoiding your mother, I don't know why you're doing it in the first place. And it's not that I don't care it's just that...after what happened last night...and considering the events of what's happened before...I just don't think we'd work out. You still have a lot to learn about being in a relationship, and I, I'm just not the right person to teach you."

Nevermind he's not even considering the fact that he tried to rape me again last night, I grow tired of trying to please his whims, appealing to his emotions. Should I confront him upright about last night? Or would it just anger him further? Somehow, I know that if he's already turning out endless excuses to stay in my apartment, he'll do the same if I bring up his attempt to violate me.

He opens his mouth several times, trying to conjure words that don't surface until finally, "Bu-but...you're mine…"

Okay, I was feeling sorry for him before, but that's crossing the line, "No Oswald, I'm not 'yours'. We may be friends, lovers at one point, but I do not belong to you. Physically or otherwise. Now leave."

He slowly begins shuffling out the door, his bum leg only allowing him to go so fast. Once he's past the doorway, he turns around, a tear rolling down his cheek, "I love yo-"

I slam the door in his face, locking it behind me. I don't care if he knows how to jimmy the locks, it just satisfies me to know that I finally got him out. Yes, living with him was...nice, at least in the moment. But even with Oswald's pleasantries, he's a liability, a danger to my physical and psychological well-being. So the better option would be to keep him at a distance, don't get too involved. Sure, he might come back once or twice, but...it's just me. He'll grow tired of the chase sooner or later, move on to other things, prettier affections, and I...I'll be alone again, status quo restored, everything will be as if it had never happened. It's bittersweet, but it's for the best...it's for the best.

Oswald paces up and down the stairs. He doesn't care if doing so creates a searing pain in his bad leg, he needs to process what had just happened. Mother was right, Trixie's just like all the rest, only seeing him as a pawn to be used, thrown out when she no longer found him useful. She's probably now seeking that other man of hers, Ed. Another victim to add to her list. She never cared, no one ever does.

He walks up to the door of his childhood home, and knocks on the old, familiar door, "Mother!"

No response, he knocks again, harder this time, "Mother!"

"I wait for so long, and now he scratches at the door, the filthy tomcat," she rambles before flinging open the door.

Oswald smiles, "Hi Mom, I'm alive."

She stumbles in, Oswald following her, setting down the briefcase by the door, "I don't know why you think I'm always running off with some 'painted lady'. I don't even date."

True, Trixie could be considered a painted lady, in the fact that she's a whore, but not in the literal sense, her taste in makeup is very conservative. Although, his definition of a painted lady and his mother's are probably very different, seeing as she was brought up in a culture where even lipstick was only reserved for ladies of the night.

"Ha! Why don't you call your mother in all this time?! I tell you why: you got tangled in some hussy's demon purse!"

He plops down on the living room couch, she had him there, Trixie's a hussy, thinking him a lesser man who could be lured in with her substantially larger income. But, that wasn't the only thing that lured him in...no, as much as he demeaned her, he couldn't fool himself. She charmed him with her genuine kindness, her warm voice and smile. Oswald had thought he'd finally found someone to admire him, to appreciate his talents, but instead...

"Mother, there was no hussy. Only betrayal and savagery…" he gives a puppy-like whimper, "...all I wanted was a little respect. And they hurt me, so cruelly."

Mom gets down on her knees, placing her hand on his knee. If not anyone else, at least she'll always be there for him, "There was no other woman?"

Oswald laughs to avoid telling the truth, "Ha! I have been to hell and back, they tried to kill me."

"Those bullies again? My poor, poor darling," she strokes him, "they only do these things, because they resent you. Envy and spite. That's all it is."

He smiles, she always knew the right thing to say. Then again, so did Trixie...damn that girl. In spite of what she's done to him, he can't help but still want her. After all, while he may be nothing to her now, soon, oh, so very soon, he'll prove her wrong, he'll prove everyone wrong. She'll need him, he will become the most powerful man in Gotham, and she won't be able to help but admire him, love him...yes, if...no, when he attains the highest of positions, he'll give her a reason to love him, and she'll play right back into his arms. That's a promise.

"You watch Mom, I'm going to be someone in this town."

"I always knew this," she assures him, as they exchange a devilish smile.

I walk into the precinct to find an absence of Ed waiting for me by the front door. I continue to my desk when Renee walks up to me.

"Ed was looking for you. He's in his workshop."

I nod, "Thanks."

I'm just about to head over there when she stops me, "Hey Natalie, what does Ed exactly keep in his workshop?"

"Uhm...well, he mainly works on his inventions made of spare parts he finds down in the basement," I explain.

She nods, "Yeah, he's really into technology, isn't he? Are you too?"

"Somewhat, not as much as him though. He's the tech expert, I'm more the humanities."

She scrunches her eyebrows, "...humanities?"

I chuckle nervously, "You know...english and history?"

"Oh, I see. Wow...I can see why you and Ed are friends. You both…"

"Have an expansive vocabulary?"

She smiles, "Yeah. It's just, you're easier to talk to. Not to say that you're not smart, it's just, I can actually understand you."

I shrug my shoulders, "Thanks...I'm going to go check up on Ed now."

"You do that."

I wave goodbye to her before walking to the side hallway and descending down the narrow side staircase leading to the basement. Opening the door to Ed's workshop, I find him slumped in a rickety wooden chair, his expression lifeless and blank.

"Ed...is everything alright?" I ask, pulling up another chair to sit next to him.

He stares into space for a couple seconds more before responding in a hushed whisper, "...chronological."

I wave my hand in front of Ed's face, "Ed? What's on your mind now? You usually don't take this long to directly process something."

"She likes the record annex organized by chronological order, not by subject. ...how could I have not seen it before?!" his voice raises to its maximum volume, "That's what I've been doing wrong all along!"
He stands up from his chair, but I grab him by the shoulder and yank him back into his seat, "Ed, slow down. What are you talking about?"

He turns around, "Oh, Natalie, I didn't know you'd come in. You see, I've been preoccupied by a small misdemeanor I've committed this morning."

Sitting backwards in my chair, I place my arms on the back of it as Ed continues, "I've taken your advice to do something nice for Ms. Kringle to heart, and I'd believed I'd found the perfect solution. I would reorganize her records annex with a rhizomatic cross index, with files organized by subject. But what I should have taken into note when going through the files is that Ms. Kringle prefers to organize files chronologically, not by subject. Hence when she came in and saw me tampering with her files, she was...visibly upset."

Clasping his hands together, he looks down at his lap, "I...I only wanted to help her. You said that's what would impress her, correct? If I were to be spontaneous, offer her something she didn't immediately need or request. I did just as you said, so, I don't understand why it didn't work."

I sigh, drawing on my own personal experience, "Ed, just because you use all the right methods...doesn't mean that it'll work out. People just don't work like that. There has to be chemistry, and whether or not you and Kristen have chemistry or not...well, that's not within your control."

"Are you suggesting that Ms. Kringle and I are not compatible?"

"You have to decide that for yourself. I can't make that call," I clarify, sliding back into my seat.

Poor Ed, while what I said is true, he has to come to his own conclusion about him and Kristen, I have a feeling that nothing will come from his efforts. From what I've seen, she's just not interested in him, and boy do I know the feeling.

I glance around the room, and notice a fixture that wasn't there yesterday. A slightly beaten guitar, sitting on Ed's workbench. Getting up, I pick up the guitar and pick, and strum the strings. I never learned how to play, but I know someone who does.

"Hey Ed, where'd you find this?" I ask, turning around and showing him the guitar.

His blank expression lights up to his usual enthusiasm, "Oh! Someone dropped it off at the precinct during the Viper incident. No one wanted, so I claimed it. I figured I could deconstruct it and use the strings for something I'm building."

"You know how to play the guitar, right, Ed?"

He twists his lip, "I, I haven't played in years. I've mostly stuck to playing the piano now, but maybe I could attempt to play."

I hand him the instrument, and we sit down in the chairs as Ed strums a slightly off-key chord.

"Hey, not too bad! A little rusty, but that's to be expected," I encourage him, smiling.

He strums another chord, then begins playing individual notes, testing each one of them out, "So Natalie, how goes your love life?"

I heave a heavy sigh, if there's anyone I can talk to about this, it's Ed, "My partner and I are no longer together."

"Oh...I apologize. I shouldn't have burdened you with my relationship troubles when you're having troubles of your own."

I shake my head, waving it off, "It's fine Ed. Misery loves company, right?"

He starts plucking several singular notes in succession, creating the harmony to a familiar song. I chuckle, and he gives me a knowing glance before I start singing along.
"What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin, to burst your bubble. That's what you get, for all your trouble. I'll...never fall in love again. I'll, never fall in love again."

We both relax in our chairs a bit as I continue to the next verse, "What do you get when you kiss a guy? You get enough germs, to catch pneumonia," I chuckle a bit, "after you do, he'll never phone ya. I'll...never fall in love again. I'll, never fall in love again."

I begin gesturing with my hands to express the lyrics, "Don't tell me what it's all about, cause I've been there, and I'm glad I'm out! Out of those chains, those, chains that bind you. That is why...I'm here to remind you. What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies, and pain, and sorrow. So for at least, until tomorrow, I'll…"

I smile as Ed timidly joins in, "never fall in love again. I'll never fall in love again."

I'm surprised by how good of a singer Ed actually is. He plays an interlude before taking the next verse for himself, "What do you get when you give your heart? You get it all broken up and battered," I nod and give an approving chuckle, "that's what you get, a heart that's shattered. I'll…"

I come back in and we sing together, "never fall in love again. I'll, never fall in love again."

Ed continues to sing while softly playing the guitar, "Don't tell me what it's all about. Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out! Out of those chains, those, chains that bind you-"

I playfully finish the verse, "That is why...I'm here to remind you!"

We sing the final verse with Ed taking the harmony, "What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies, and pain, and sorrow. So for at least until tomorrow-"

"I'll!" I hold, before Ed rejoins me.

"Never fall in love again…"

"I'll!" Ed responds.

"Never fall in love again…"

We finish together, "I'll...never fall in love...again."

As Ed plays the finishing notes, I reach over and place my hand on his. He smiles, and after strumming the last note, takes my hand into his.

Author's Note:

Song Natalie and Ed sing: "I'll Never Fall in Love Again" from "Promises, Promises"

Narutoske: Yes, Ed is a loyal friend, but as his more unpredictable side comes out, Natalie may have to reconsider her allegiances to him.

As for Oswald, I would personally say that even if she did tell Oswald, it would be like talking to a brick wall, and while telling him the truth was the right thing to do, it may or may not work to her advantage

For Natalie moving into a different apartment, well, we'll have to wait and see where that goes

Fuchsia Grasshopper: Hmm...that is true, although I would interpret a Valentine's Day chapter as something lighter and more romantic, but to each their own. I agree, kicking Oswald out was deserved and Oswald will come back with a vengeance. As for Oswald manipulating Natalie, the trouble with Oswald's manipulations is that you often don't know he's manipulated you until it's too late