It was late April, there was some kind of convention nearby and a lot of YouTubers were running around the place, taking over most of the hotel's rooms.

Smitty hadn't really wanted to go, having to walk around the place, getting sore feet and cheeks hurting from laughing so much in pictures. Not that so many people recognised him, but still. It may not have been some of the millions of fans of VanossGaming, but it were still a lot of people. And it was tiring. A good day, but tiring none the less.

Luckily for him, he had John at his side. The infamous Kryoz who couldn't watch his tongue and randomly said the strangest things. The other could read him like a book, knowing when it became too much for Smitty and stealing him away to the bathroom or some place else to get away from the massive crowd.

At some point, John had stolen a fan's phone and started a vlog. Meaning, he held the phone at a weird low angle, showing off the double chins he didn't actually have. He complained about everyone disturbing him and thinking he was some kind of YouTube star or something, joking of course. He had pointed the camera at Smitty, who was signing someone's cap.

"Look, there's one of those GooTubers," he said," He must be famous or something. People keep asking him for his autograph!" Smitty rolled his eyes as John walked towards him, ignoring the fan whose phone he had stolen. She was begging for her phone back, although you could see she was having a field day.

"Hey you!" John yelled, pointing at Smitty," You one of them Gootubers?!" Smitty rolled his eyes again, but couldn't hide the smile. "Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to return the device to the young lady who owns it." Smitty pulled the girl in frame, giving her a side hug, making her slightly blush.

John laughed and stopped recording. Before he gave the phone back to the girl, he made a selfie with the three of them. The girl thanked them, laughed and walked away. They vaguely heard her fangirling to her friend as they walked away. Not long after that they'd get a notification from Twitter that they were tagged in a video posted by Kryoz'sGirl96.

Smitty turned to John to reprimand him about stealing someone's phone, but laughed instead when seeing the silly face John was making. Then a fan stepped up to them, whisking John's attention away with a lot of questions. As Smitty looked around he noticed that it was getting really busy, fairly quickly. Especially in the hall they stood.

He began to feel a bit claustrophobic, more and more people pushing past him or brushing up against him. He felt cornered. His air intake and heartbeat quickened. He was in need of fresh air, so he began to look for the nearest exit. As he couldn't find one, he began to feel slightly panicked. But before he could dash into the nearest bathroom, a hand grabbed his and pulled him along.

He looked up to see John, smiling at him as he pulled him along. In no time they were outside and Smitty took a big breath in and out. He briefly wondered if it had been so clear to see his discomfort, before he realised it was John. John would've been able to notice it from miles away. No one knew him as well as John did. He blinked as he realised he had been staring at the other, who was waving a hand in front of his face.

"You good?"

Smitty sighed and nodded. A loud growl could be heard and both men looked down at their stomach. "Are you as hungry as I am?" John asked, looking at Smitty. "I guess I am," the other said. "Come with me, I know good place to eat," John said and held out his hand. Smitty took it and together they walked to a cute little tearoom.

It was a bit too pink for Smitty's taste, but the young woman behind the counter seemed very friendly. Her dark blonde hair was tied in a high ponytail, some strands hanging in her face and blue eyes observing as she walked over to their table after they put their menu's down. "How can I help you fine gentleman?" she asked. They smiled at her as they gave their order.

"Great," she said with a smile," Two Earl Grey tea and a tiny sandwich platter, coming up!" Smitty looked at the decorations on the wall as the woman walked away. "How did you know of this place?" he asked. "I overheard some people talk about it, I managed to catch the name and Google searched the place," John explained," it was fairly close by and it's different from what we normally do, I thought it seemed like fun."

Smitty hummed. John was right, it was different. Not bad, but different. Smitty wasn't much of a tea-drinking guy, but tea seemed like a good choice in combinations with the sandwiches. He looked at the menu once more. They had gone for the deal-of-the-day; 2 cups of tea or coffee by choice and a platter full of little sandwiches, 2 per flavour. It seemed delicious. He hoped it was.

The woman returned with two cups of steaming hot water, 2 little bowls and teabags. "There you go," she said chipper, placing the things down on the table," I'll bring out the sandwiches in a second." She walked over to the next table, where three young women were seated, taking their order before disappearing into the kitchen again.

Smitty sighed, dipping the teabag into the hot water, before placing it in the little bowl. He wrapped his hands around the cup, enjoying its warmth. "Hey," John said softly, placing a hand on Smitty's wrist. Smitty looked up at him, seeing the worry underneath the neutral expression. "I'm fine," Smitty said, giving him a smile," Just a bit tired."

He moved one hand from the cup to John's hand and gave it a pat. He wasn't going to tell John he'd been thinking about them holding hands. As far as he could remember, they had never held hands. It seemed like such a romantic thing to do. Thinking about it, he got a funny feeling in his stomach. Was he getting sick? I wouldn't be so strange, being surrounded by so many people, who can bring many diseases. It wasn't called the PAX-Pox for nothing.

Those thoughts also brought forth other thoughts. Thoughts about little changes in John's behaviour, things he hadn't noticed before. Pulling him from his thoughts, John pulled his hand back. "Would you rather go back to the hotel?" he asked, taking a sip from his tea. Smitty shook his head.

"I think I can survive this last day, the convention is almost over anyway, the party tonight will be a banger so I can't miss that," Smitty said. John laughed. "It'd be good to see some of our friends again," he said. Smitty nodded and drank from his cup of tea, it was still a bit hot. "I heard rumours that the Derp Crew is in town, tho I haven't seen any of them at the convention," he said. "Didn't Matt say he'd be there too?" he asked. "Yeah, together with Grizzy."

The owner returned with a big plate full of sandwiches. "There you go, sorry it took so long!" she said, as she placed it down. Smitty noticed something that didn't look like sandwiches on the edge of the platter. It seemed to be two little cupcakes, decorated with pearls. "That's on the house," the woman said, pointing at the cupcakes," For taking so long."

Her smile was apologetic as she took the used teabags away. "We don't mind," John said, giving her a smile. "My apologies anyway," she said," Enjoy your meal." She walked away to greet the couple that just walked into the shop. She showed them to the table in the corner of the shop, before moving to behind the counter, where she refilled some of the displays.

The two men began to eat in silence. Smitty didn't mind. He felt like he had too many thoughts in his head and wanted to clear up the mess a bit. What he didn't see was John giving him looks of worry as he absentmindedly ate the sandwiches. When they were done, John paid for their meal despite Smitty's protests. "Have fun at the convention!" the woman called after them as they walked to the door. "Thanks. Will do!" John called back. There was something knowing in her grin, as the door fell close behind them.

"Do you think she knows who we are?" Smitty asked. "Who knows, maybe she watches our videos," John shrugged. Smitty thought no more about it as they walked back to the convention centre. His mind was otherwise occupied. At some point, he felt John's hand snake his way into his, not letting go until they arrived back.

Smitty had no time to think about what it meant as some people recognized them and asked for pictures and autographs. Very quickly his focus was back on his fans and smiling for them. Time flew by and there was only half an hour left before the venue would close its doors for the day. The last of its most hectic ones, releasing its poor staff.

John and Smitty were sitting on the ground, a bit away from the general footpath, partly hidden by some booths. Sipping from water bottles and eating a burger from the foodcourt, they talked about fashion styles.

Suddenly, they spotted a little boy wandering around behind the booths. He seemed to be in distress as they could see tears in his eyes and by his frantic walking. "Isn't he a bit too young to be at such an event?" Smitty asked, finishing his hamburger. "Should we warn someone about this?" John asked, placing down his half eaten burger. He was just about to stand up to get someone of the staff, when the boy noticed them.

"Kryoz?!"

It shocked the two a bit that the boy knew whom John was. It was more surprising however, to see the boy run up to them and practically tackle John into a hug. The man was frozen in place as the boy started to cry. He quickly wrapped his arms around the boy.

"Hey, it's okay," John said softly, rocking the boy back and forth," I'm here, Kryoz is here." Smitty looked worried at the boy in John's arms as he calmed down. "I-I'm s-sorry," the boy hiccupped, trying to wipe away the tears on his face. "It's okay, don't need to apologize," John said, letting the boy sit back on his heels.

"I was just so happy to see you," he said, starting to smile a bit," I lost my sister and I couldn't find her and I didn't know anybody here, then I found you." He gave a big toothy grin. "How come you know who I am?" John asked, one eyebrow raised in question.

""My sister loves you," he said," She doesn't let me watch your videos much, but she talks a lot about you and some others and she shows me pictures of you when I ask." He giggled a bit. "You make her laugh, so I like you and wanted to know more about you."

John had a smile, so soft, as he looked at the boy. Smitty felt his heart skip a beat looking at it. "What's your name," John asked the boy. "Dennis!" John nodded. "Ok, Dennis, can you tell me your sister's name? Then Smitty and I can help you find her."

"Emma," the boy answered, before his eyes got big and his head snapped towards Smitty. "You're Smii7y?!" He started to bounce on John's legs in excitement. "Uh, yeah…hi?" Smitty said surprised, giving him a wave. "You're so cool!" the boy gushed and he decided to crawl over to Smitty. The man was unsure how to feel as big brown eyes stared at him in wonder. "I love your videos, we watched all your Minecraft videos, I love it," the boy said, proceeding to tell Smitty all about how he thought the other was the coolest YouTuber out there.

"I'm going over to the PlayStation booth," John said as he stood up," I noticed they had radios, they could help." Smitty nodded at John, then focused back on the boy in front of him. "So, are you enjoying the convention?" he asked, unsure of what to say. The boy nodded.

"Yes, I kept begging my sister to take me with her, but she said I was too young," he told the older man," but then I cried. And she bought me a pass as a surprise present. But we could only go for today." Smitty nodded. He decided not to mention that a present is a surprise most of the times.

Silence returned, the YouTuber not sure what to do. "I like you," the boy said, smiling brightly as he cuddled up to Smitty. "I…I like you too. Wanna play a game?" Smitty pulled out his phone and started up Cut the Rope, which he hardly ever played. The boy enthusiastically took the phone and Smitty wrapped an arm around him, holding him close. He knew how awful it was to get lost, such a horrible feeling when you can't find your family.

A ringing noise sounded through the speakers by the ceiling, followed by an announcement. "Would Emma please go to the PlayStation booth in hall 4A, your little brother Dennis is waiting for you there." The message repeated itself, the boy quietly muttering that his name was Dennis too. Not long after, rushed footsteps came their way.

"Dennis! Oh thank god, you're okay!" A young woman came rushing behind the booth, followed by John. "Emma!" the boy cried and tears started to form in his eyes, as he stood rapidly. They hugged each other tightly. "Where did you go?" she asked, sounding out of breath. "I saw a cool game and went to look but then I turned back around and you were gone!"

Emma sighed and hugged him again. "It doesn't matter. You're okay now." The boy nodded. "I was okay, I was with Kryoz and Smitty," he said, pointing at the two men standing on the side. His sitter seemed to realise they were still there a she sprung up. "Yes. Thank you so much," she said, extending her hand to John, who shook it," How can I ever thank you?"

Smitty said she didn't need to do anything, but John spoke up. "Take a picture with us." The girl looked surprised at the suggestion. "A little birdie told me you were a big fan," he elaborated, nodding his head towards Dennis," So, take a picture with us." The girl still looked unsure as she took out her phone. "Are you sure it's okay?" Smitty gave her a smile. "Absolutely."

Her smile could've brightened up any room, as she looked down at her little brother, who looked equally as happy. They took a couple of selfies with all 4 of them, then a couple of the siblings with only one of them. As Emma thanked them and pocketed her phone, John took out his.

"Can I get a picture with you Dennis?" he asked the boy. Dennis enthusiastically nodded his head. "It will be hard to forget you two, but I'd like a picture of my young admirer," he explained to Emma," At least then I can show my mother I'm a good influencer." She laughed and gave her permission.

John handed his phone to Smitty, so he could take the picture as he picked Dennis up, holding him with one arm, supporting him with his hip. "Damn, you a big boy," John said, faking to struggle with Dennis' weight. The boy giggled and patted John's head. As Emma took out her phone again, Smitty removed his cap and placed it on John's head.

The other laughed, because he knew that the cap had the word 'daddy' written on it. Emma laughed once she saw it, both snapping a couple of pictures. As John let Dennis down, Smitty saw what time it was. "Oh shit," he said," It's already 7 minutes past closing time. We need to go."

They decided to walk out together, saying goodbye as they went separate ways. John's eyes lingered on the spot where a waving boy was minutes ago. Smitty looked at John, noticing the soft look in his multi-coloured eyes. Seeing John interact with Dennis had made him feel strangely warm and fuzzy. Like he suddenly began to think about his future, getting married, having kids, all that supers sappy crap for old people.

He was still looking at John's eyes, when the other's darted to his, connecting. Smitty didn't waver from the intense look they held, it made him feel strange. He hadn't realised that the other had stepped closer and now he could clearly see all the different shades of colour in John's eyes. For some reason his breath felt laboured and he began to sweat.

He felt super nervous all of a sudden. He hardly noticed John taking his hand in his, squeezing softly, without breaking eye contact. All Smitty could see was John's eyes. They seemed to drag him into an endless ocean. He felt like he couldn't breath as John took another step closer, placing his free hand on Smitty's cheek. Softly rubbing his thumb over warm skin.

It took frightfully long seconds before Smitty realised John was slowly leaning in. And before he could fully comprehend the meaning of that, his phone went of in his pocket, making him jump away. Their eyes wide like deer caught in headlights. Smitty took a moment to calm himself, before answering his phone, which was still ringing annoyingly.

"Hey, Craig," he said, gulping slightly. His throat felt dry all of a sudden. "Yeah, we got caught up in something, we're heading back to the hotel soon," he said. John turned away slightly, so Smitty wouldn't see the disappointed look on his face. He let out a deep sigh.

Smitty's own turmoil prevented him almost from hearing what Miniladd was saying. "Y-yeah, sure, that's okay," Smitty said," See you later." He hung up, pocketed his phone and put his hands in his pockets. It was silent for a moment, Smitty almost afraid to look at John.

"What did Mini want?" John asked, acting nonchalantly. "He asked if we wanted to meet before the party," Smitty said," He's going to pick us up with Tyler at the hotel." John nodded and they started to walk towards their hotel. John hoped the awkward air would clear and he sure as hell hoped Smitty didn't think too much about it. He just hoped he didn't ruin anything with his advances towards the other.

Smitty's mind however was awfully blank. He was overcome with feelings and doubt and he decided not think about what had just happened. He decided not to think at all. He let out a breath he seemed to be holding and tried to relax. This anxiety was slowly making him feel crippled. So he tried to block it all out.

The way to the hotel wasn't a long one and aside from John having tried to hold Smitty's hand, which he quickly pulled away from the other's grip, they were almost back to their usual self, talking about random stuff and joking around.

The weird feelings in Smitty's stomach had subsided and his head was telling him he was reading too much into the actions of the man beside him, it was nothing, there was nothing. You could clearly tell by the way John acted like nothing happened, so nothing did happen. John was acting normal, so he had imagined the smouldering look in the others eyes and the way he leaned closer and how their breaths mingled for a moment… It was probably just the stress of the big crowds and convention.

John, on the other hand, took it as a good sign that the other hadn't mentioned anything. They were like how they used to be, right…? Smitty acted like he always did, laughed at his jokes and still looked him in the eye. And yet. His laughter seemed a bit forced, his body seemed tensed up and his eyes darted away from him every odd second. The hopeful thought that he might not have fucked up, slowly receding as time went by. He blamed the streetlights, hotel entrance, his feelings and himself as they walked to their shared hotel room. If only Smitty hadn't looked that kissable in the glow of the streetlamps nearby. If only he had a better grip on his emotions.

If only…

As both of them redressed for the party, Smitty hesitated changing in front of John. He never done that before, it never mattered to him. But for some reason, now it did. Eventually he pulled of his shirt and pulled on a new one, turning around to find out John had left for the bathroom.

As he was about to cuss himself for feeling like he was missing some important part of himself, John stepped back into the room. He was wearing his signature black and white striped long-sleeved shirt, combined with a yellow short-sleeved shirt. His hair was made into a bun, effectively keeping strands from his face. Smitty noticed a slight gloss on the other's lips and took a moment to look at his lips and the beauty mark above them. John looked so much like John, it made Smitty's heart ache. He averted his eyes as he caught John's gaze, busying himself with his shoes.

"So, how do I look?" John asked, doing a little twirl. "Good," Smitty said curtly. He bend down to tie his shoes, fully expecting John to slap his ass. He had done that before, many times in fact. But nothing happened. Ok, that made him a little disappointed. He stopped the rest of his thought before they had time to indulge in it further.

He felt guilty for some reason, wondering if he made the other feel as if he didn't want his company anymore. He had to change that. So he walked up to John and extended his hand, like a gentleman asking out his date. "Are you ready, good sir?" he asked with a posh accent and a smile.

John smiled, a fake one of that matter, before pocketing his phone and walking straight passed the other. Smitty hadn't missed the disbelieving look in John's eyes and it broke his heart. He fucked up didn't he? John felt awkward with him and he had no way to fix the weird air between them. He felt a pang like pain as he lowered his hand and his smile turned sour.

"Mini's waiting for us in the lobby," John said, keeping up the fake smile. Smitty didn't say anything as he walked behind John to the elevator. He didn't really feel like partying anymore, he'd rather stay in and not have to face anyone with how he was currently feeling. The elevator dinged as it arrived on their floor and both men quickly entered, John pressing the button to the ground floor.

All the way down, Smitty's mind was buzzing with thoughts. Had he done something to upset John? Was it because it wasn't nothing, like he thought it was? Was it because he knew Smitty had almost given in and kissed him? Was it because he had trusted Smitty as a friend and didn't want to go further than that and now he had fucked it all up by almost kissing him?

He began to feel dizzy and the air seemed to thick for him. Luckily the doors opened to let the two men out, making it a bit easier for Smitty to breath. He excited quickly, leaving John behind him and missing the hopeless longing look in the other's eyes.

What Smitty didn't know was that John doubted his every move. He became hyper aware of were he held his hands, which way he looked or how many times his eyes drifted towards Smitty. He felt like he held himself back, for Smitty's sake. For he did not want to scare the other away. He had seen the look in Smitty's eyes when they sprung apart when his phone rang, that stupid phone. He had seen the realisation dawn on him and the immediate look of dissatisfaction. He couldn't bear to look at the sure to be disgust on Smitty's face, if he found out that he had wanted to kiss the other for a very long time.

John had always felt unrestricted with Smitty's presence. He was carefree, happy-go-lucky and it rubbed off on John. John didn't bite his tongue nor have a care in the world what others might think, almost speaking his mind. He did what he felt was necessary and he didn't overthink his emotions or feelings, he simply let them be and saw what the future had in store for them. But now…

Now he wasn't so sure. He had felt like they had been going on the slow path towards more than friendship, but seeing Smitty's reactions, he fears he was the only one. He liked the way he felt with Smitty, but now he was angry at those feelings. For they might have ruined the only good thing in his life he had left. And that meant he had to keep them under control, he had to watch his every move around the other to not scare him off any more than he had probably already done.

But could he? A small part of him thought it was a good thing to openly show his emotions. If Smitty could see how he felt, then maybe the other wouldn't reject him, maybe he would get used to it and eventually accept his feelings. He didn't want to refrain from touching the other, to shower him with affection. That part of him also reminded him to be himself. You can do nothing more than just be you, even if that's the crazy, in love with their best friend, you. The voice sounded a lot like his momma.

And still, he felt like he had to protect the friendship they had. To not risk any of it, for a stupid thing called love. It was safe to say, John was at war with himself. He didn't know how to handle the situation, so for now, he decided to just act like he usually would. And that meant not staring at a fake lemon tree used for decorations in the hotel lobby, instead of following Smitty to greet their friends.

As he walked over to the three men, he could see the questions in Tyler and Mini's eyes, but he shook his head. He himself didn't know, so how would he be able to tell his friends what was going on? Tyler and Craig shared a look. They both knew it didn't mean anything good.

"Soooo," Smitty said, clapping in his hands, getting everyone's attention," Where's the party at?" Mini gave John a look, noticing how weird the both of them were acting. Smitty obviously faking enthusiasm for the party. "It's near the convention centre, so not to far away actually," he said," We could walk or maybe take a cab."

Tyler hummed. "I don't really feel like walking, so why don't we take a cab?" he asked. Funny, Smitty thought, I don't really feel like going at all, but I would've rather walked, if only so I wouldn't have to be so close to John. "Fine by me," John said and they walked outside the hotel. Hailing a cab wasn't so difficult, it was almost like the taxi chauffeurs knew about the many YouTubers and the fact that they needed transport.

The ride to the party was silent, the taxi driver only asking them where they needed to be and announcing they had arrived. As Tyler paid the man, the other three went inside. You could hear the music from outside of the house and a bouncer stood by the door, asking them to see their passes. It was a YouTuber party only, so it did make sense. After showing them their con passes, they were granted access to the house.

The music got really loud the moment they stepped from the hall to the giant living room. It may have looked like a normal, albeit big, house from the outside, on the inside it looked like it was used for only parties. There was almost no furniture, except for some folding chairs and couches here and there so people could take a break and sit down. A DJ booth was placed against the wall on the far end of the room, a big open space in front of it to dance, already filled with people. Light hung from the high ceiling, joined by a disco ball, casting various colours of light over the dancing people.

A long table filled with drinks, snacks and other various edible things was placed between the living room and what seemed to b the kitchen, blocking off entrance for people that weren't staff. Various groups of people were scattered around the place, trying to converse above the loud music.

Smitty could feel the base thumping in his chest and he felt the urge to join the others on the dance floor. "Let's dance!" he shouted, automatically reaching for John's hand to pull him along. But he hesitated. John gave him a small smile and took his hand. "I'm going to try and find Marcel and Scotty, they should be here by now," Tyler said, mainly to Mini. "Do you need any help?" Mini asked, but Tyler shook his head. "No, you join those two idiots and keep an eye on them," Tyler said, motioning to Smitty and John, who were already on the edge of the dance floor. Mini nodded his head," Will do."

As Tyler disappeared into the crowds of people, Mini joined his friends in dance. "I hate this song," he shouted, dancing to it none the less. "Me too," John called back, shrugging. Smitty was determined to dance his worries away, moving his body to the beat of the song. He never really felt awkward while dancing, everybody looked stupid anyways, so why worry about that?

So he closed his eyes and let himself be taken away by the music, relieved when a faster paced song came next. He got a weird feeling, like he was being watched, and he was almost sure by who. As he opened his eyes again, he met the gaze of a multi-coloured eyed man, who was watching him intently. A shudder ran down his back and a blush crawled on his cheeks, as he concentrated on the music again.

Far too soon the music changed to a slow song, the DJ calling for all the lovebirds to join him on the dance floor. Craig looked from John to Smitty, fully expecting them to joke and act all cheesy, but it never came. He frowned as he noticed John quite latterly biting his tongue. At first he looked like he wanted to say something, a joke perhaps, but then he clammed his mouth shut. Smitty seemed to be looking at everyone and everywhere but John.

"I guess my lonely ass is going to get something to drink, I'm parched," Craig said and moved towards the table filled with various drinks and cups. The other two followed him, chuckling slightly at the comment. "You know you don't have to be so lonely," John said with a smirk. Mini gave him a questioning look. John's tone was cheeky as he said; "If only you took our residential piggy by his big strong hands and pulled him close so you could feel each other's heartbeats."

Mini almost spat out his drink, couching loudly as he choked on it instead. "Kinky," Smitty said, before laughing at the look on Mini's face. If looks could kill, there'd be two very dead men now. "Nah, we both know Mini doesn't have the guts to ask out our big friendly giant," Smitty said, still teasing the other. Mini was about to retaliate, when a voice from behind him asked "Ask out who?"

A very bright red appeared on Craig's cheeks as he turned around to face Tyler. "No one!" he squeaked embarrassingly. Marcel, Simone, Scotty and Chrissy appeared next to Tyler, all of them with something to snack on in hand. The group exchanged greetings and hugs, as well as one could with their hands full.

As Smitty went to hug the girls, Mini leaned in to whisper into John's ear. "You are one to talk, btw." He didn't miss the flash of realisation followed by a hurt expression on the platinum blonde's face. His own expression softened. "I'm so-" But John cut him off. "No," he said," It's not your fault it's not going to work out. So leave it be."

Craig had even more questions now, that he couldn't ask either of the two as he looked at John's expression going back to neutral very fast. He patted John's arm, feeling the man needed support, but unsure if he let him. He thought on what John just said, but he himself wasn't so sure that it was so black and white. Things could be very different, especially from his point of view.

John shrugged and tipped the last of his drink back, throwing the cup away and walking back towards the hall. "Where are you going?" Marcel asked. "To take a piss," John said nonchalantly. The others chuckled, used to the way the man blatantly made things clear. Smitty decided it was time to dance again, feeling more energized after having a drink.

Luckily for him, the girls wanted to dance as well, dragging their boyfriends along. "Woo!" Scotty yelled loudly as he started to flail his arms around widely. Chrissy tried, and failed, to stop him from doing so. Smitty could barely dance from laughing so hard.

After a couple of songs, Smitty noticed John returning, joining in on the conversation between Craig and Tyler after giving him a quick wave. Smitty waved back quickly. Then Fireball by Pitbull began to play and everybody started jumping, energy spiking, and Smitty's attention was drawn back to the crowd. "Fireball!"

After the song was over, Simone announced she needed a drink and Chrissy joined her. The men stayed behind on the now slightly thinned out dance floor, for another couple of songs. "I'm going to the restroom," Marcel yelled over the music. "I think I'm going to get another drink," Scotty yelled back. When they looked questioningly at Smitty, the other shook his head. He wanted to dance some more.

He made some twirls, laughing quietly to himself as he danced silly dance moves. It didn't matter to him that he was alone, he wasn't going to be for long. He looked up as a taller dark haired man walked his way. He looked vaguely familiar.

"Hey, Smitty!" he greeted with a bright smile. "Hi, uhm…" The man laughed. "Anthony, but you might know me as ChilledChaos." Smitty thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah! We played some G-mod together," Smitty said," How are you?"

Chilled gave him another smile. "Good, good, enjoying the con," he said," What about you?" Smitty couldn't help but think the other man had beautiful eyes as he looked at him. His Italian roots made him rather attractive looking. No wonder he had so many people in his social circle.

"I'm good, really enjoying some time off of YouTube," he answered. Chilled laughed. "Yeah. I feel you. Are you alone here tho?" Smitty was touched by the slight worry on the other's face. "Don't worry, I'm with a big part of the BBS," Smitty said, gesturing towards the general area were Wildcat and Miniladd stood.

"Aah, cool, cool," Chilled said," I'm with the Derp Crew." He wanted to point them out, but couldn't seem to find them. "They must be around here somewhere," he shrugged. Smitty laughed.

From a distance, John was watching the interaction. He stood a little aside from the group, eyes strained on the duo. Who was that man and why did he look so familiar? His jealous side was trying to convince him that the man was flirting with his Smitty and that he should go over there and tell him to back off.

He shook his head trying to get rid of the jealous feeling. Smitty didn't belong to him, he could talk to whomever he wanted to. Even handsome looking Italian men. The telltale crunch of a plastic cup getting crushed in bare hands sounded from right besides John and only then did he notice he wasn't the only one looking at the two.

A bearded man about his age, maybe a bit older, placed a now crushed cup on the table and let out a sigh, followed by a muttered 'Chilled'. And suddenly John knew why they looked so familiar, they had met before, only once or twice. Both the bearded man and the Italian looking fella were part of the Derp Crew, a couple of friends playing games together on YouTube.

"Hey, you okay?" John asked the frowning man besides him. The other looked surprised up at him. "Uh, yeah… I'm fine," he said, followed by a sigh. John gave him a disbelieving look. "It's okay, I know how you feel," he said. The other had a look similar to shock on his face. "I don't know what you mean…"

John chuckled," I can see them too." They both looked back at Chilled and Smitty, the Italian man busted out laughing at something the other said. The man, whose name still escaped John, began to blush slightly. "Is it really that obvious?" he sighed. John shrugged. He was wondering the same thing.

"I never meant to have a crush on him," the other said," It just… happened. It got even worse when he came to live close by." John recognised the pained expression on the other's face. "And you tried to hide your feelings, willing them away. But here you are staring at him as he talks to someone that isn't you, whishing you just had the balls to go up there and tell him how you feel and prey to some unforgiving being that he feels the same way."

The man's pained eyes made contact with his own full of turmoil. "Like I said," John sighed," I know how you feel." The man gave his shoulder pat. "Feelings suck." John nodded his head," Yes they do."

On the dance floor, Smitty was trying to maintain the conversation with Chilled, while still dancing. The other turned out to be good company. He noticed Chilled's smile turning remorseful, as his eyes landed on something away from the dance floor. Smitty was just about to ask him if he was okay, when he saw what the other man was looing at.

The bearded man next to John seemed familiar and he knew he was part of Chilled's crew. "Isn't he your friend? Uh, what's his name…" Smitty trailed off. "Ze." Smitty almost didn't hear him over the music, his voice barely loud enough. "Steven, aka ZeRoyalViking," Chilled said louder," He's my best friend."

Smitty looked from the loving look on Chilled's face, to the bearded man. He knew there was more behind the statement, but he didn't ask. Without realising, his eyes drifted over to John, who seemed to be conversing with Ze. He sighed. "He's talking to mine."

"Why don't you just tell him what you really feel?" he asked. Chilled looked shocked at the other, they didn't notice that they stopped dancing. "It's-" a sigh," Not that easy." Chilled rubbed his neck, a blush on his cheeks. Smitty gave him a soft smile. "What if it is?"

Chilled looked confused, before looking back over to Ze. "What if I told you that it is easy," Smitty said," Carry your feet over there. Take him by the hands and tell him how you feel. Don't let him walk away until you've said everything you'd ever wanted to say to him. Just be honest." He clapped the man on the back. "You have nothing to lose."

Chilled nodded, fixated on Ze. "I hope it will turn out like with you and Kryoz," Chilled said, catching Smitty off guard. "W-what do you mean?" Smitty asked bewildered. "Well, you and your boyfriend seem to be very happy together," Chilled answered. Smitty's brain short-circuited.

Wait, what.

"I, we-, he's… he's not my- we're not-" he stammered. "Oh…? Oh! Sorry, I thought you were together," chilled said, seemingly embarrassed. He gave Smitty a quick side hug. "In that case, I hope you follow your own advice," he said, before letting go of Smitty and walked over to where his hopefully soon to be boyfriend stood.

Smitty's thought went on a rampage. Everything came at him all at once, overwhelming him. Memories of him and John together, moments of just John. The way he smiled, his laugh, the way he looked when he got angry. The way it made butterflies fly in his stomach. How he felt safe with John, in his arms, his arms around him, the way he smelled.

Smitty gasped.

John's hair, John's hands, John's eyes. The cold metal of his rings contrasting the warm fingers intertwined with his. The sudden heavy feeling of one of those rings, wrapped snuggly around his ring finger. It seemed to burn with heat. His chest burned as well, he heaved in air, gasping for breath. The hand with John's ring grasping the shirt covering the body part with a harshly beating heart. The realisation that he would've gladly kissed John had they not been interrupted, hit him hard. Best friends don't kiss each other. But he had really wanted to.

He hadn't realised he stood frozen on the dance floor, surrounded by people, and yet in that moment, so terribly alone. He missed out on how Chilled had walked over to Ze, pulled him into a hug and told him how he felt. He missed how Ze had asked him if he was serious, how Chilled said he was absolutely sure and how they carefully shared their first kiss, right in front of John.

He didn't see how John gave them a smile and a thumbs up as the two left to be alone together. He didn't see how John looked back at him, noticing him frozen in place and walking towards him. His thoughts had swallowed him whole, heart pounding, sweat forming on his forehead.

He only got pulled from those thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The other on his cheek, softly pulling to make him look into pale eyes. Those beautiful eyes, that always seemed to look straight into his soul. Those eyes that held a fondness reserved just for him, now filled with an intense worry. John's lips moved, suggesting he said something, but Smitty couldn't hear. There was a ringing in his ears as he still stood ramrod in place, acutely aware of John's heat seeping into his skin.

As John moved his other hand to Smitty's other cheek, his eyes seeming to close in on him, looking for answers Smitty couldn't give. He began to panic, feeling as if John came closer and closer. He ripped himself away from John's hold, quick gasps escaping his mouth as he felt like he couldn't breath. The hurt on John's face made his heart throb painfully.

He couldn't stay there, he couldn't keep looking at John after all the things he thought about, not after realising what the messy feelings making his stomach ache and his skin tingle were. Not after all the things he wanted to do to the other. He couldn't and wouldn't confront the feelings running through him. Not now, not ever.

A sob left him as he began to turn away and ran. He ran through the too thick crowd, over the dance floor, towards the door. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Tyler rushing towards him as if he wanted to prevent Smitty from leaving, so he ran a bit faster. Out the door and out of the building.

He ran, faster even as he heard John shout his name. He ran and ran, straight back to the hotel they stayed at. He ran up the stairs, not bothering with the elevator, 3 floors up and he stormed into his shared room. He began to hastily pack all his belongings back into his suitcase. Only stopping once the adrenaline level started to decrease and his suitcase was zipped shut.

His knees were shaking and he flopped down to the floor in front of his bed, on which the suitcase laid, trying to stop the sobs threatening to escape his mouth. They couldn't be stopped and soon he was sobbing his heart out, burying his head into the matrass in front of him. His hands clenching and unclenching as he struggled to breath.

He could hardly believed what just happened. He really had ran away, hadn't he? Deep breaths in and out as he tried to calm down, wiping at his eyes to remove the tears. He still felt heartbroken and anxious. He didn't know what to do. What was he to do? He couldn't stay in the hotel, the boys would eventually return and he couldn't face them. He couldn't face him. But, he couldn't exactly go home, for it was too close to John.

"Momma," he muttered as he took out his phone. Slightly noticing the low battery level, he dialled his family home phone number. "Hi, sweetie," she said cheerily as she picked up the phone and Smitty, who had just managed to stop crying, started to softly sob again. "Mamma," he said, through sobs," Can I come home?" He could clearly hear the worry in her voice as she asked him what had happened and that of course he could come home. Smitty couldn't tell her, he said he'd explain it later, not now. He just needed to go home. She told him she would be waiting for him and to look out for the hugs and kisses he was going to get from her once he got there.

After talking to his mother, he calmed down a bit. He ordered a plane ticket for the next flight to Canada, which wasn't all that later, meaning he had to leave for the airport soon. He ordered an uber to get him there. The lady at the reception was quick to help him as he paid for the room in advance, he couldn't just leave and let John pay for it the next day. She wished him a safe journey and he gave her a smile, wishing her a nice nightshift.

Once outside, he jumped in the uber that just arrived. Thankfully the driver didn't feel like having small talk, so it was silent and he had time to think. On his way to the airport, he texted the group chat. A simple message that said that he had personal business he needed to attend to and that he had to go home. The others reacted with kind messages, whishing him well and good luck. And of course the question if he needed anything from MooSnuckel. There was a reason they often referred to him as MamaMoo.

He smiled slightly, but decided not to respond. He pretended not to see the personal message John had sent him. And once he was boarding his plane, after consuming a coffee from the airport café while waiting, he didn't look at it yet. But eventually he did, and he denied trying not to cry as he turned off his phone. The battery was to low anyway and he needed it to let his family know that he landed.

As his plane was ready to take off, he never felt as alone as he did then, staring out of the window at the city lights shining brightly in the dark. Maybe he should've seen it all coming. Maybe then he could've prevented getting to close. Maybe then his heart wouldn't feel so broken.

He felt stupid about everything. About feeling that way, about running away from the only one that made him feel so happy. And as the plane took off, he fell into a restless sleep, even with the consumed caffeine in his body. Dreaming of the single message John had sent him.

'Stay safe for me. I don't want to lose you.'