fundays: You're literally the best person in the world, fundays. Thank you for reviewing!
joangoldman9: I swear Ana wasn't paying any attention to what Claire was saying on the phone. Also who knows if Claire mentioned the job was at GEH, she talks quite a bit. I think Claire just had Ana's best interest at heart as well.
Guest: I'll keep working on my grammar, I'm really sorry.
Jen1072: I'll keep working hard for you. Thank you for the support.
carlarbaptista: Brigada por o seu apoio.
kelly: RECAP. Anastasia has lived in constant curiosity of her new boss Jack Hyde since being hired by him. However, because of her recent break up and new friendships she hasn't learned much about him. That is until she travels to meet with a Miss Sarah Wilson, who opened her eyes to the horrors of Jack Hyde. We currently think she's on the verge of a mental breakdown (Tell me if you need more detail).
Chapter Six: How to Catch a Bad Guy
A character smacks me upside my head, the resulting jerk sends the bile sliding straight down my throat. I hiss inwardly at the taste my body giving an involuntary shudder, all while my hand searches out an excuse. My fingers wrap around my new camera which I stare at for a millisecond, I was supposed to figure out how it worked during lunch.
"I- I have no idea how to work this thing." I stutter. "It's crazy I mean I didn't grow up with a bunch of technology, but I feel pathetic not knowing how to operate a camera." I meet Jack's eyes trying to convey only innocent confusion instead of rising fear. I'm sure I'm caught in my lie but then his eyes brighten and a large smile spreads across his face. It's as if I've given him a huge key to… me.
He pulls it away from me, cradling it as his hands purposely brushes across mine. I flinch away, he must think he's affected me in some other way because he smiles playfully at me. I take the opportunity to craftily wipe away my tears as he looks over the machinery.
"Today's your lucky day Ana." He says with a Cheshire grin. "I happen to be an expert in cameras, I have been for a number of years." My heart gives a painful jump, horror and disgust filling my body. Blackmail, he must be blackmailing them with pictures and videos.
"I bet." I bite.
"What?"
"I said that's great." I try to match his smile with my own. "Do you think you could help sometime?" He insists we go to his office and though the hairs on the back of my neck spring up I manage to follow him with steady legs. When Chloe and I bought the camera, the man listed a bunch of impressive qualities it had, and a told us it was the best one for affordability and quality. The only thing I ensured was that it was black.
Jack spends a good 30 minutes explaining the camera and its quality. How to get proper audio, and feed at the same time. I nod listening to him while keeping a safe distance. He then continues going on about himself, his love of cameras and how he knows how to capture 'subjects' perfectly.
It doesn't take long for me to get from his office to squatted on the bathroom floor dry heaving over a toilet. I'm petrified of Jack, of what he could do to me, of what he's done. However, I can't help the sadness I feel for him, the knowledge that something happened to Jack that made him this way. Something hurt him to such an extent that he wants to hurt others in such a cruel way. The tears come before I can stop them.
Christian was hurt and abused, he wouldn't tell me, but I know. It's because of his past and Elena that he became the way he is, that he's so... fifty shades. He wouldn't let me help- he wouldn't let me love him.
I splash my face and bare arms trying to wash the dirt I feel on me. If Chloe was here I'm sure she'd be trying to cleanse my aura right now- I wonder how one would go about doing that. I sigh stroking away clinging tendrils from my face and staring at ghostly Ana in the mirror.
If only someone could fix you, the voice taunts. If only it were that simple.
Feeding into the now gaping hunger and the dizziness I get an apple and two pears from the kitchen before returning to my desk and staring at the email for an unhealthy, amount of time because Jack still hasn't given me any work. I don't have any other option. Everywhere besides a Barnes and Nobles book organizing position has declined me. I certainly can't live off Kate forever.
This is a better then well-paying internship, and it's only for six months. I can avoid him for six months- I've already manged over a week.
Do you want to avoid him...?
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: RE: Internship Program
Date: June 13, 16: 08
To: Gwen Farnie
Thank you so much for this opportunity, Ms Farnie.
This is an honor, and I realize how prestigious and sought out this chance is. I'll work hard and won't let you down.
Assistant to Jack Hyde, Commissioning Editor, SIP
From: Gwen Farnie
Subject: RE: Internship Program
Date: June 13, 16: 17
To: Anastasia Steele
I sure hope so, I'll keep an eye on you.
Now I just need you to send your birth certificate, ID the basics it's all attached in the documents I sent you.
Good luck.
Vice President of Human Resources, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
I'm still reeling from my decision when I get home. I eat an apple, then another, and then two more and down a carton of orange juice. At 21:45 I'm still laying on my couch in my pajamas staring at the ceiling while Debussy plays softly from my phone on the table.
Today could be considered a good day; Jack unknowingly helped me in figuring out how to take him down. I now know what I must do- gather evidence of sexual harassment, inappropriate behavior, whatever I can that would expose Jack. Anything that would result in him being locked away, or at least him getting help. I needed Sarah to put on record her account of Jack, though I have no idea how the law system works and whether her statement would still be considered in court after so long. I could get someone to record him harassing me, then they'd be the eye witness as well as video evidence.
I cross my arms over my eyes. I need to document every step of my plan- Operation Jackass. I eye the character that suggests this before shrugging her off. I wonder what I'll do when all this is over- I won't have job. Wait, I have a job which means I have a deadline. Three weeks, isn't a long time to get Jack caught or figure out this whole Grey Enterprise thing.
"At least I got a job!" I perk. It's a guaranteed place I'm going to after SIP.
An internship. A voice corrects.
At a place you swore you'd never work at. Another chimes. A small downfall, I argue, because it is ultimately beneficial; great pay and good on applications for jobs. The way people rave about Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. there's no way my next job applications will be denied.
"This calls for alcohol." Though I'm positive if I get wasted a certain contact number I'm yet to delete will be called and we don't want that.
I nod to myself deciding that my arguments very convincing, very convincing indeed. There are no ulterior motives to me working at his company... yep, no psychological, emotional or any of those pesky problems here. "I'll be in and out."
Debussy cuts abruptly my phone buzzing to indicate an incoming call. I groan peering at the contact, Adam B (Hero). I feel my irritation ebb slightly, but still wait a few seconds before reaching over to answer.
"Guten Tag." I roll over so my stomach presses against the couch.
"Nice try but your pronunciation sucks."
I snort. "How are you, Adam B?"
"I'm walking on clouds Annie S." I laugh at the nickname. Over the years I've realized that every single male friend I make, has come up with their own personal nickname for me. I say call me Ana, and it somehow opens Pandora's box to nicknames. He was the first to ever just call me Anastasia so consistently, to love the name that even I can hardly stand. Anyway, I've learnt to just go with it.
"But more importantly, how are you?" I'm surprised by the genuine concern in his voice, and because I couldn't possible tell him the whole truth I tell him "I'm fine".
I should stop worrying others with my problems. Speaking of, "I've been meaning to ask you, um... well you didn't tell José about that conversation we had, right?" I ask, the thought a sudden and terrifying possibility.
"I'm just asking because José isn't exactly team my... ex. And I haven't really told anyone else what I told you." I guess I forgot that Adam was José's friend first. Meaning he might think it's alright to tell my long time friend José about my problems.
"Of course not." Thank god. "When a man zips up his lips with a metaphorical key and lock, you have to trust him Annie S."
"Sorry." I laugh relieved. "Thanks, it's just I wanted to make sure our metaphorical keys got thrown away effectively."
"Have you eaten?" I pause because the mere sentence brings a tirade of emotions and images of Chri- him. "Tea this morning, half a sandwich, more apples than I can count, two pears and a carton of orange juice."
"Are we into a new form of dieting?" He chuckles, I manage a half smile at this surprisingly, pleasant conversation. Kate always goes on about how I and her other friends always help her get over a breakup. This does provide comfort, and a semblance of normality but… it's not enough. What would be enough?
"So, what are we up to this fine weekend?" He asks. "It's Monday. How would I know that?'
"Plan ahead." He insists.
"Cycling." I answer. The vixen scoffs, watching a silent Dirty Dancing with Debussy or Yurima on repeat.
"Ugh exercise, the bane of mine and half of America's existence. How about a party instead?"
I opt for honesty and say, "Not really in the mood for large social gatherings that require interaction with others."
"Understandable, but this is for next weekend, considering its Monday, and there's still another Monday, me thinks you have plenty of time to get ready for such interactions."
I don't answer. "Come on, I want you to meet my best friend and hopeful girlfriend." I smile at least I know he isn't trying to get into my pants.
An unknown darkness chuckles at my statement. I shake my head gathering my thoughts before saying anything else
"I'll... think about it." I say, suddenly not wanting to make conversation anymore. "No problem. Oh, and Ana, eat a banana they're full of protein and dietary fiber."
"That's a matter of opinion."
"No, it's scientific Annie S."
"Goodnight Adam B."
After Adam, I call Kate because of guilt and to tell her the truth. Tell her Christian and I are done, that I'm miserable and afraid of my boss. However, her excitement is too overwhelming. I can't remember the last time Kate sounded so excited about a guy. I can't believe I'm lying to the one person who I've always been able to tell the truth to, again.
First because of Christian's NDA, now because... there's too many reasons to list.
I manage to sound uplifting and excited for work and life in general. Kate rages over Barbados, I laugh and make comments when necessary and go to bed after a 10-minute conversation that I feel guilty for hoping would end the whole time. Its midnight when my mind finally quietens down enough for me to sleep, and just when I escape reality my dreams turn against me.
Everyone laughs at me for crying over him. Faces I don't know, but they look like me. Past submissives' all watching and laughing at ghostly, thin Ana.
Christian's there his hand laced with a new submissive. Pretty, curvy, with short blonde hair. I watch from a distance as he slips a ring on her finger and kisses her on the lips. She wraps arm around his back where I'm not allowed to touch. She strokes his chest and kisses him open mouthed and glaring at me the whole time.
"I love you." He says to her and as when she turns her head to giggle she morphs into Mrs Robinson and cackles. Then she's on top of me throwing me to the ground and tearing at me, while I beg her to stop. Christian watches from a distance- emotionless.
I wake with a gasp my chest heaving as if there's no oxygen where I am. I'm drowning. I remind myself where I am, squinting in the darkness to see my room, to know this is reality.
"Shit. Fuck!" I rip the covers off sobbing as I scramble out of the too conforming sheets. My hand collides with the lamp beside me sending it crashing to the ground. I rip through the room throwing my books from my shelves, pillows from the bed and anything else I can grab.
I see the notebook on the floor discarded. "Number 1 get over Christian Grey." I laugh as I tear the page to shreds, how about a reality check list.
"Number o- one; Jack Hyde is-s going to... rape me." I sweep the desk of its contents and throw myself at it to tip it over, but trip and instead collapse against it in a mess of tears. "Number two; I've lost who I thought was the love of my life." My grip falters and slips- suddenly I'm sprawled on the floor.
"N-Number three." My eyes take in the never ending darkness, as I try and fail to ignore the yelling voices in my head all competing. "I'm losing myself, it makes me terrified."
The nightmare replays itself over and over every time I blink, I can't stop it, so I don't. I lay there staring at the dark floor until a small piece of white catches my eye.
7. Go
The rest of the sentence is ripped away, "Number 7 go jogging." I wipe my face with the sleeve of my pajama then on all fours I rummage through the floor's contents until I find my phone, it reads 05:32. I pull off my sweats replacing them with tights, then slip off my pajama top. I find an old sports bra I haven't used in years then raid Kate's room for a hoodie. After digging up my earphones I put my phone in the inside pocket of the hoodie and grab the keys before heading out.
The last time I went jogging was in high school. I did it because I wasn't coordinated enough to be a cheerleader and Kate insisted I did an extra- curricular activity so we'd always go home together.
I remember the tips my teacher always repeated; swing your arms, pace yourself, breathe and never run its not a race. I've never disobeyed her until today.
I run.
I run until I can't feel my legs anymore. I run to not cry or think or reflect. I have no idea where I'm going, I don't care. The wind whips at my face, my legs protesting because they've never been pushed so far beyond what they can take. My lungs burn screaming for air as I ignore them and continue as my whole body aches. The only thing I'm aware of is the music pounding in my ears and what's in front of me. Images of him play out in front of me, but with each swing of my arm they evaporate.
My legs almost give in, in the shower but they don't. I see that as an accomplishment; to celebrate I eat like I haven't eaten in months.
"See Steele." I say around the food in my mouth. "You don't need anyone, all you need is food. It doesn't leave you, it feeds you and loves you." I devour an omelette, a bowl of oats, toast and three cups of water.
When I look in the mirror I fiddle with my hair, there's no time to dry it. Despite it only being slightly wet I know that means it will frizz. I need a haircut... the dream. What if I did it? What if I cut my stupid, frizzy long hair? So, what? I could rock a bob.
Let's calm down, the white voice jumps. Maybe we shouldn't do anything we'd regret
I lift my hair with one hand and try to envision myself with short hair. I could envision it but I've always had long hair, I'm not cutting it because of dream form Elena Lincoln. As I leave for work I meet with Chloe who's doing what she considers a late shift at the company she works for as a receptionist. She agrees that my hair would look good short, then goes on to invite me for dinner tonight. I can't think of a polite way to decline, surprisingly the dinner brings me excitement so I agree with a nod. Maybe I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts.
When I get to work I'm proud of my early hour because Jack's not here but his office is open thanks to the cleaning staff. I drop my bag on my desk before slipping into his office and closing the door behind me. I leave his coffee on his desk then go about searching for a place to hide the camera. Across from Jack's desk is a table piled with books and files, next to it is a weird shell shaped object, it's filled with different useless trinkets and I think to hide the camera here but Hyde's constantly at this table.
I move to his bookcase on the left side of his office. The shelves are filled with books and random objects.
I check my watch, "He'll be here soon." I jotter around the looking for an effective place or object. The camera thanks to Jackass is easy enough to operate. I click the on button then wait for it to come to life before switching to video and pressing record. On the top shelf I spy a clear, outdoor wooden candle holder. It's light filled to the brim with giant crystals. I quirk an eyebrow wondering why anyone would want this.
Regardless, I kneel on the floor and open the latch, surprisingly the crystals don't topple out. I then go about reorganizing them around the camera it's especially hard to hide the flashing red light.
"Marcus, a bet's a bet. Drinks on you." I freeze hearing Jack's voice booming from the other side of the office. Oh shit sandwiches!
I try to cram the remaining crystal inside but it won't fit. I close the latch roughly and put the candle holder back in place then move around some of the books. I take staggering step back to look over my work but Jack's laugh and footsteps echo.
"Fuck." I murmur panicking. I grab the crystal on the floor ramming it deep in my jacket pocket. I open the door slowly and Jack's striding towards me, head down reading something on his phone. Grabbing a random manuscript from his pile, I flip through it as I walk out pretending not to see him.
"Morning Ana." He says. I look up feigning surprise. "Jacka- Jacky Jack morning." I'm trapped in the door frame and have to step back inside to let him in.
"Uh- okay... Ana Ana?" I hope to God that's not a permanent nickname. "Early today? What's that?"
"Oh, I was just leaving your coffee and wanted to re- review this manuscript." He leans down peering at it. "Boyce Fox? You read that last week."
"I- I can't put it down," I'm glad that I have actually read this. "It's so sharp and relevant, super insightful. I want to make sure there's no errors." We manoeuvre I have my exit but am frozen. My desks a few feet away but as our eyes meet, I'm locked in place manuscript between us like a shield. He presses an arm against the door frame adjacent to my head peering at the semi- empty office behind me.
He leans in chuckling. I swallow hard.
"You've already convinced me just with that smile."
"Uh, any work for me?" After a beat he steps back and spends another few minutes doing what I describe as flirting within lines. He assigns me several new manuscripts that need to be edited and I leave with a long, lingering squeeze to the shoulder. My characters all breathe a collective sigh of relief. I finish three manuscripts before getting distracted. I pull out my get over Christian notebook, and open to a new page.
'Operation Jackass', I write at the top of the page then as a sub heading write 'How to prove he's inappropriate'.
I have to pay special attention to what I wear around Jack; he can't have the opportunity to say I coaxed him or tried to seduce him with my clothes or behavior. I just need to act the way I've been acting and hope that's enough I start to jot down points.
1. Dress like a nun
2. Always look uncomfortable and see how he reacts.
3. Do not engage in jokes and banter.
4. Be a diligent and present worker
5. Discuss how you're in a relationship and ensure hears.
6. Keep any topics of conversation work related
It's after lunch when I finally look up from my list, its harder than expected to come up with ideas. That's when I see Elizabeth from Human Resources walking in my direction. My hand not so discreetly covers the notebook, she smiles tightly at me as I slowly slip the book under my desk into a drawer. My heart jerks with fear she knows I'm leaving and she's here to fire me.
"Anastasia." She greets me. "Hi, Elizabeth."
"I've been hearing so many good things about you. A lot of supervisors have been coming to me saying you've been helping them out in day to day things, contributing ideas and just being helpful." Well, Jack never gives her anything to do. I shush the voice before she can put the words in my mouth. "I just came down to tell you to keep it up."
"Wow really?" I'm taken aback. "Thank you." Que Jackass sauntering out of his office uninvited to the conversation. "Hey Lizzy." He says resting a hand against the back of my chair. Elizabeth looks crestfallen upon seeing him then smiles again. It's such a brief interlude that I'm not sure I saw properly.
"Hi Jack." She greets.
"What is the Head of Personnel doing here?" He glances down at me trying to engage me in playfulness. "Are we in trouble? Did we do something we weren't supposed to Ana?" My eyes widen which is all I can do to keep my jaw from dropping in shock. He sounds totally suggestive, I don't say anything, trying to compose myself.
Elizabeth doesn't seem to notice laughing dryly at Jack's joke. "Not at all. Just encouraging Ana's working so well we wouldn't want to lose her."
Then she looks at me meaningfully. "Very good Ana."
Jack moves closer, resting both hands on the back of the chair. "Well, I think a good ol' round at Laurie's will do for a better celebration." Elizabeth momentarily freezes if I wasn't paying so much attention to her I wouldn't have noticed at all.
What is going on here?
"That place from before?" I ask my glancing up at Jack to analyse his expression.
"That bar I told you about last week. Friday is a ritual, but other days are good too. Except Liz here hasn't been coming for a while." She smiles when I look back at her but the expression is forced.
"I can't, meetings, otherwise-"
"Ana?"
Jack + Me + Booze= bad things, my subconscious says warning, I muse on the fact that there will be others. "Sure."
"Cool." His phone buzzes and he leaves us. Elizabeth smiles again, tight lipped and leaves without another word. What just happened? When Elizabeth's a good distance away and Jack's door closes I get up and follow her. Maybe she's an ex- lover... I quickly disregard that notion. She's Human Resources if she wanted she could take Jack down with a snap of her fingers. Elizabeth takes a left heads to her office swinging the door behind her- it doesn't shut. Unlike most doors in this office which are made of stained or translucent glass Elizabeth's one like Jack's is hard wood.
Taking a page from Sarah I look around before kneeling at the door and peering inside. She plops into her seat and pounds her fists on to the desk. I watch as she slumps forward rubbing her face aggressively, "Asshole, motherfucking asshole." When her shoulders start shaking and I hear a clear sob I return to my desk completely bewildered.
She doesn't know I'm leaving SIP. I realize.
She was trying to ward off Jack.
She knows about the sexual harassment.
She's a victim.
He has Human Resources.
What the hell do I do now?
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