CHAPTER 7: Tommy
My therapist is looking at me, probably thinking to himself "this kid is crazy." But I'm not. And I wish people could see that.
"Tommy, have you tried any stress relievers for your anxiety?" he asks.
"...no," I say. Whenever I try stress balls or deep breaths, it just makes things worse.
"Can we come up with some coping strategies to help you manage everything?" I am getting real annoyed with him.
"No."
He looks disappointed. I just wish I could express to him how I really feel without sounding insane. Whenever I try telling my parents how I really feel, they just say I'm "trying to get attention."
Nobody understands. Not even that nerd at school.
I decide to speak. "People are making assumptions about me at school."
"What assumptions?"
"They're spreading rumors about why I got kicked out of my last school."
"First, you didn't get kicked out. You were politely asked to leave." says.
When a school asks you to leave, that's the same as being kicked out. And if they saw how those guys were treating that kid, they would beat them up, too.
"Do you think I'm crazy?" I ask my therapist. I am genuinely curious.
"No," he says. "I can tell who you really are. And crazy is not one of those things." I nod, and he continues. "I know you didn't mean wrong when you helped that kid. But rules are rules. And I know you understand that."
Do I understand it? Sure. Think the rules are dumb? Yes.
I go home, and slam the door to my bedroom, hoping no one in my family noticed me. I sprawl myself across the bed and bury my head under the covers, ready for this stage in my life to end already.
"Tommy…" a malicious, feminine hiss says. "Wake up, my boy."
No. I'm not getting up for this. She can wait.
"UP!" I feel the covers fly off of me, and I'm lifted up on my feet. My vision clears, and I see her, with her long black witch robe and crescent moon staff. Her voice is seductive. "When I say get up, you do as I say."
She snaps her fingers, and my surroundings change. Everything darkens, and I find myself in a misty, dark throne room of a palace, with Rita sitting on the throne.
"Did you do as I asked?" she asks me.
"...no" I reluctantly say. I begin to feel the anger, adrenaline running through my body. I want to fight, but I don't know why.
She looks disappointed. "You disappoint me, Tommy. Tell me, what were they like?"
I think back to last week, where I met the shy, creative girl in art class, and she actually cared about me.
"...good kids," I say. Rita gets up and slaps me across the face, infuriated.
"Tell me: was I wrong in choosing you?" The fire inside me starts to build. "Perhaps I should let you go back to being nothing, like you always were."
I get up, ready to strike her, but I can't. My empress smiles. I feel the rage, and start to hate myself.
"That's what I thought. Tell me, what were you before you met me?" I don't speak, not wanting to admit it. The depression in this place starts to consume me. "What were you, Tommy?"
"...I was an outcast. I didn't know how to do anything except hurt others…."
She smiles. "Yes. Now, why did you hurt those poor kids?"
I remember being in the bathroom, and I saw the two school bullies making fun of a smaller kid. "...I wanted to help him."
"No, Tommy. You hurt them because you hated them. You always hated them since you were little. You wanted them to feel your pain."
She's right….
Rita opens her hand and reveals a strange metal object, glowing green.
"Perhaps I should give this power to someone more worthy of being my evil Green Ranger."
"NO!" I lunge at her, trying to grab the morpher. She's too quick, and shoves me down.
"Give me the power!" I say. "I'm worthy! It's my power!" I start panicking.
She stays quiet for a few moments. "When I saw you, I only saw rage power. Hate, rage, and an urge to prove yourself. So I chose you to take on Zordon's Rangers. I offer you powers beyond your imagination, and you can't simply kill five misfits?"
I think for a moment, and she's right. I was weak.
"Once you kill them and let your rage consume you, you'll have enough darkness within yourself to free Lord Zedd from the Morphing Grid, and after that, we can rule the world as a family. Me, Zedd, you. But first you need to destroy the Power Rangers, and then I'll reward you with the powers of the Green Ranger."
Yes, I'll do that. "Yes, my Empress."
"Good, my Green Ranger."
I witness a flash of light, and I'm back in my room, standing up. I think about what Rita told me.
Kill the five kids, and the power will be mine. And I'll never be invisible again.
But then I think of the girl….and she actually cared about me…..
What am I even doing?