Chapter 5

Tyrion shook his head sadly, good words, wise ones to be sure but The King to go to Storms End! What a horrible idea. If Joffery was like he was before he would have been glad to see Joffery foolishly go headlong into his grave, Joffery used to be so arrogant, proud cowardly and dangerously sadistic. 'used to be s' is the key phrase. Now, this Joffery was humble, kind, witty and albeit strange, very likable. Joffery had also added a new attribute stubbornness which could be galling.

Therefore, Master of Coin Tyrion knew there was no stopping King Joffery but he felt sad. So soon would he lose his NEW favorite nephew? Tyrion knew how Stannis was. The rest of the court was frustrated with a stubborn Joffery who strangely seemed to ignore the danger he faced. Though he seemed much older than his ten and five. That made it confusing, to say the least.

.

Joffery for his part apologized and pleaded his case," Aw Gee " seemed to be how he would address the council time and time again, and then elaborate on how the realm needed no more war.

Joffery took responsibility for furthering the war Baelish conspired between the Starks and the Lannisters. How bad he felt about all the loss. He told them in brutal detail with tears. How it was the poor working people who suffered from these wars. All the casualties of war who won't be husbands, fathers, farmers, sailors, merchants, builders, anymore all gone from the war. The women ,pregnant mothers, elderly, children ,babies all suffer from want after the war or worse die from the chaos of war.

It took a few hours but Joffery won out over the small council. Master of Laws, tantamount to the director of the FBI, Randall Tarley just listened, though this idea seemed unprecedented he knew enough about King Joffery's change to trust his Grace. He could not help wonder what was the hidden agenda. No, he would wait and see.

Pycell gave token protests about him leaving He reminded Joffery of his Grandfather's recent death. That Joffery needed a Hand of the King and should be quick about it. He then told the King that surely his grace couldn't be that irresponsible with his life.

Master of Whisperers smiled, somehow he knew that Joffery had some contingency which Varys' 'Little Birds' knew not of. Yet, he hoped to soon find out.

Joffery walked by Tyrion, stopped and said, "Uncle, I got me an ace up my sleeve don't ever doubt that."

Tyrion nodded "You realize if Stannis kills you the grief my sweet sister as well as Myrcella, Tommen and I will feel? Jaime would feel?"

Joffery smiled, sighed "Uncle when I come back you, Tommy and 'Cella will find out a deep secret of mine."

Then Joffery knelt and put up his hand a little and said "high 5 uncle!" Tyrion slapped it and sighed."Joffery, you owe me a gallon of Arbor Gold for I will surely drink that the day you leave."

Joffery sighed "I love you too big guy."

Oddly enough Queen Cersei, no snide remarks, no outrage, she just listened with a calm face. She had never thought of the consequences of war before. It pricked her conscious. Cersei was seeing a maturity that Joffery hadn't had before. Joffery seemed to have wisdom that did not belong to a boy of his age. Could he be Lann The Clever come again? Then she went back to her room, took a glass of wine, opened a book Joffery suggested, Theories of astronomy and read. She sipped her wine as she read what some Maester had to say about the stars. It helped her get sleepy.

Joffery said goodbye to Tommen and Marcella and told them to forgo most martial arts training until he returned. He wanted them to only practice pro wrestling and meditate every day until he returned. They were sad but did what he asked. They also met with Uncle Tyrion daily they loved their 'pint-sized' uncle.

-At Storm's End-

Stannis sat in his solar watching the raven fly away. Then he looked around the room it was bleak simple and chilly. He grits his teeth and re-reads the scroll. Since he had assumed that Joffery was a bastard of incest he wanted nothing more than to rid the realm of him. Stannis was at one time a reasonable enough person. he was fair just and had a sense of kindness. Then he became numb to the uncharacteristic act of unfaithfulness to his wife with the Red Priestess. How that yielded a horror which hadn't been seen in the realm before, a wraith that was used to kill his little brother Renley Baratheon. Since he could do that, how much easier it will be to stop the bastard of the Crownlands! Super easy barely and inconvenience for Stannis the Mannis. Blood magic has its consequences. He went insane after the Shadow murdered his brother. He was obsessively driven by an unstoppable desire to gain the Iron Throne for himself. Assured by the Red Priestess that he was the Azor Ahai, Stannis' had a hunger, his need for power dominated his every waking hour. Stannis would Stop anyone in his way. Stannis insanity changed his already hardened heart to the point of a stone. A man without any feelings for anyone. He lost all affection for his wife, lost any feeling of fatherhood to his only child. All he wanted was the throne with all the power that went with it.

He thought Joffery a young fool to come to Storm's end. Stannis did not bother to reply to the scroll. Stannis told Melisandre of Joffery's planned visit and she smiled. She only said, "Royal Blood for the Lord of Light."

Joffery arrived without fanfare, only the Royal Banner carried by Joffery himself. There was no entourage, no King's guard, no Lannister army to invade, no threat, Just The Hound and The King. They were stopped and easily overtaken. Guards swarmed like ants over the Hound and managed to render him knocked unconscious. Stannis wanted the Hound to later swear fealty to him. So he allowed him to live.

Shereen was allowed out of her cell and stood by Sir Davos Seaworthy. She could see everything that was happening. She could see the massive pile of wood, one more pyre ready to burn someone. She frowned and she felt sad at that. She was made to watch every time the scary Priestess had anyone burned alive for the mean old red god. She wished she was back in the safety of her cell.

Joffery was lead to the Red Priestess his hands tied behind his back. Joffery knew what was going to happen. He knew he could clobber all the guards and prevent this. Joffery knew that the fire wouldn't burn him so why fight. This would blow their minds. maybe then Stannis would listen to him. Joffery has his hands and bare feet tied to a stake, he looked at his Uncle and nodded.

All he said was "Uncle? " .

Stannis watched emotionless, Lady Selese smirked. Shereen was terrified, she let go of Davos's sleeve walked to the back so she wouldn't be noticed and quietly wept. She refused to once again watch such a horror.

Melisandre spoke loudly to everyone "The Night is Long and full of terrors Lord of Light guide us to the dawn."

Interrupting her, Joffery let out the loudest Bronx cheer he could.

This shut her up and there was a pregnant pause. Then the fire erupted into a huge blaze. So large and hot it knocked The red Priestess on her ass. The Inferno crackled as the heat from it could be felt by all. It took a few minutes and then burned out. The woodpile was ash. The ash was red and smoldering.

Standing unhurt and naked was King Joffery. Shocked faces all around, everyone was, speechless. Even no -emotions Stannis was wide-eyed, his wife sighed took Stannis cloak off his back and walked over to King Joffery and gave it to him to cover himself. Joffery took it nodded to his Aunt and broke the silence by looking at the confused Red Priestess," Hey!' Red lady you owe me some clothes you ' dumb broad'." Nobody laughed at his humorous insult. Then Joffery took a pair of trousers offered, now covered, walked to the back and knelt down in front of his Cousin Shereen. Joffery lowered his voice and sounded gentle as he could "Hey, hey Shereen it's ok, don't cry I ain't burned, see ?"

She looked up surprised, sub sucked and tried to calm herself. Joffery smiled placed his hand on Shereen's scarred face and as he did Shereen's face glowed green for a second. Shereen's face was now clean of grayscale scars. Joffery hugged her and said, "Your cousin the King cares, always will ."

Joffery walks over to where the hound is sitting, Sandor is pissed.

Sandor glares "A fine mess you royal ass!"

Joffery smiled "I know, here let me free you Sandy...", before Sandor could tell him to watch out the guards attacked.

This time Joffery using super speed mixing Tai Kwon-do, Savate and Hapkido kicked the hell out of all of them. Like Chuck Norris with the speed of the Flash! All subdued he wasn't done in seconds, he pulled off they're undershorts and put them on their unconscious heads like hoods. Shereen covered her mouth and giggled. Joffery winked at her and went over to Sandor who stood once freed.

Stannis walked up to the stairs to the ramparts overlooking the sea coast to see if any more guards were there to could call on. From the skies one Raven and a murder of crows attacked him! Cawing loud, pecking his eyes. They dive-bombed his head. It was like Alfred Hitchcock Movie The Birds. A dozen birds kept attacking bird after bird. Stannis swung his sword but missed. The birds never missed. In order to get away, he kept backing up until he was against the ramparts. He climbed up and was hit again and again by attacking crows! He lost his balance and fell over! He was driven over the ramparts to his death! Joffery saw this. Joffery was disappointed, "aw Shoot". Joffery would have preferred negotiation a peace. Joffery had no idea that Stannis was insane. As an empath, Joffery picked up on only one emotion, anger.

Selese heard the commotion ran up and looked over the side. She was stunned her Lord Husband smashed body on the rocks of the shore was a ghastly sight, she screamed. Selese ran down and hollered "YOUR CURSED EVIL BASTARD! GET OUT OF HERE! TAKE SHEREEN WITH YOU NOW! YOUR ALL CURSED !" Then she fell to the ground and stared with a faraway stare.

The Red Witch got out while she could. She had gold and hired a boat during the commotion, headed for Volantis. She would need to spend more time in Ashai before she returned to Westeros. She failed, how could she be so mistaken and just who was this unburned Bastard King?

Davos found a way home, his wife never ever looked so good to him as she did now.

Joffery shrugged, shook his head sadly as he felt Selese's feeling of deep sadness and isolation. He hoped she wouldn't take her own life.

Joffery took Shereen by the hand, "Come dear cousin, and Sandy you too, let's go home. "

As they walked they were quiet. Three full-grown, 10 point antlered stags, bigger than horses, walked up and bent down to allow them to mount them. Unbeknownst to Shereen and Sandor, Joffery used telepathy to call the stags to come and carry them. Joffery was delighted, that at least had worked. As they galloped to King's Landing. A few minutes later the flock of crows who attacked Stannis roosted on the three stags antlers. It was quite a sight to see. Shereen looked at Joffery and smiled.

Joffery said to Shereen "Looks like we are the three amigos ."

Then he reached up and Pal landed on his hand.

Joffery paused then said, "Shereen hold out your hand ."

She did and Pal flew and landed on her hand and cawed.

Joffery looked at Sandor "Hey Sandy, ever ride a stag before?"

Sandor just grunted noncommittally.

Joffery looked at his raven,' Pal you came with your murder of crows and murdered my uncle.'

Pal said 'I was to fly back once he read the scroll but I flew around with my friends the crows and wanted to keep an eye out for you. The sour-faced human had you burned. I have never felt so angry. I did not know you lived, I thought you were gone, I called all my friends. We went to war for you. We wanted to destroy his eyes and he fell to his death blind .'

Joffery nodded 'You are my feathered brother thank you. I need you to rest assured that I can't be killed. I admit that I am glad he is no more a threat. Pal as King just know I always try to negotiate and seek peace, my friend."

Pal 'I am happy you can't be killed, wish I knew Joffery, negotiating that is better I agree."

They got back Kings Landing, it had been two weeks and caused quite a stir. People were amazed at the sight. Joffery reminded the Hound that he owed him a beer, then he told him he earned the rest of the night off. The hound was given a bag of gold dragons, said "yeah yeah Joffery, thank you. Your still an ass - your grace. " then walked away heading to his favorite pub for chicken, ale and maybe a wench. The huge stag followed him.

Joffery and Shereen talked as they walked to Marcella's room.

"Shereen", Joffery asked, did you feel safe at home?"

Shereen looked at Joffery and she could tell he was sincere and worried."No, not really, father changed, he became so cold. He always kept me in a cell, but he quit talking with me, he used to smile at me. Now he only said he needed to keep me away from others." She sighed.

Joffery nodded, "Then at least not physical abuse but its neglect sigh ."

Joffery then wondered how many of his young fans in his other life suffered emotional isolation and mental abuse like poor Shereen. Joffery looked intently as he listened. Shereen said her father at times seemed kind but no longer warm.

Joffery then said, " I am just glad we don't have him attacking King's Landing ."

Shereen frowned and nodded "He loved that throne more than anyone and he loved that red woman who tried to burn you, your grace."

Joffery looked sad when he said," Wish he would have wanted peace."

Shereen looked sad at that. Joffery sighed "Had I killed him. Would you see me as a monster"?

Shereen shook her head," No, My King, after what he tried to do to you? I would not hold that against my healer and good cousin and King. You healed me, " She felt her face, "I felt the warmth from your hand and it felt wonderful. you have been so kind to me I could never think you a monster ".

Joffery let a teardrop fall, the old Grim that loved his fans now made one from another character in A Game of Thrones. It was so amazing to him and now unlike the TV show, this time, Shereen would not be burned at the stake by her father.

Joffery led Shereen to see her room and she was amazed at how grand it was. Joffery told her she had the run of red keep. He then took her to Myrcella's room and left her there to get acquainted with her, then Joffery headed to the Master of Coin's room stopping off to get the promised wine.

Joffery had 13, jugs of Arbor Gold brought to Tyrion's room. He told Tyrion it was a 'baker's dozen'. He bragged to Tyrion all about what happened. Joffery took Tyrion to the Stables and there were 2 of the Stags eating hay with the horses. Tyrion was amazed."So you did have as you put it, an ace up your sleeve. Now you must help me drink some of this good wine nephew."Joffery smiled "I will be happy to Uncle ."

Later Joffery went to Queen Regent's room and knocked on the door. Cersei hugged Joffery and whispered in his ear."I knew you would return thank the gods" Joffery said, "You know I am beginning to get allies and good ones." Cersei changed but in a most positive way. She could only feel happy the curse of Maggie the Frog broken and her Joffery has turned into a good noble King as she hoped for. Joffery told her in detail what happened. Then he walked back to his own room hoping for rest. Cersei smiled she then had an odd thought since Jaimie has gone to Casterly Rock maybe she should marry someone as well.

Joffery sent Pal to Sansa a sweet letter relating to her all that had happened since the last raven she sent. Also, he added this poem based on a rock song from the 1960s.

'Imagine me and you, Sansa I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

I can see me lovin' nobody but Sansa
For all our lives
When you're with me, Sansa the skies will be blue
For all our lives

he sent a letter telling Ned, Robb, Caitlyn and Daenerys Targereon everything, like an open book confessional this included the events of Storm's End and of the death of Stannis Baratheon, his Grand Father Tywin and of Jaimie Lannister marrying Marienne Frey.

He added the following joke for Daenerys Targaryen, Storm Born in the scroll he sent her.

A Knight suggested I make a round table for the small council his name was Sir Cumference.

Daenerys smiled as she read the scroll. Giggled at the joke and admired Joffery for his wit. She really felt good that Tywin, the evil man who was behind the death of her sister and her niece and nephew was dead. Somehow though Joffery being unburnt was a stretch for her. How could a boy who is not a Targereon not be burned? She really did hope to meet him. She wondered too, what Sansa Stark was like for this young King to be infatuated with her.

Her scroll from Maester Aemon came before this one. This young Usurper was thoughtful because he made it possible for her Great -Great Uncle to write to her. She began to wonder if she could actually go to the Wall to meet Maester Aemon.

So began a correspondence between Maester Aemon and Daenerys Targaryen.

-Winterfell-

In the dining hall of Winterfell, the Starks and Brienne were breaking they're fast together. They all compared scrolls.

Ned put his down winked at Caitlyn, "My Cat I would that I could be as clever as Joffery is with poetry. As long as you have put up with me as your Lord husband you deserve no less affection "

Ned ducked as Caitlyn threw a roil at him and they all laughed. Ned then had a quizzical look as he ate a piece of bacon.

Arya asked, "What is it, father?"

Ned shook his head," Joffery claims to have healed his cousin Shereen. He talks to his raven by means of mind to mind chatter as we talk together at our breakfast. Is it any wonder the royal raven seems to know us? Unburned? Had stags ridden like horses with crows roosting on their antlers? Joffery has his own Dire wolf now. This is hard for me to believe "

Sansa put down her spoon and said "Father what had the meister told you before Joffery took us to the Wheelhouse?

Ned" That the infection was bad enough the meister would need to remove my leg when we returned to Winterfell."

Caitlyn knew her Ned walked now as before, she smiled "Lord Husband will you look at your leg."

Ned knew what she meant, his leg was healed all but a scar that served as a reminder. Ned dutifully looked as Arya walked around the table to see her father's leg. She gasped

, Arya "It is true! Joffery healed you! I think it all could be true!"

Arya was conflicted but she was determined to try and work it out. She sat back down to finish quietly.

Robb stated, "Our King addressed me as General of the Army of the North."

Big smile on his face "So Father is that what I am now ?"

Ned smiled all he said was "Aye."

-King's Landing-

Joffery contacted Orlan Flowers' sole owner and Lord of ten corn and pole bean farms in the Reach. Joffery invited him to be a part of the Small Council as Master of Coin. Joffery took notice of Orlan's charitable practice every harvest. One farm, which was ten percent of his total harvest was chosen. The harvest split 4 ways: one fourth sent to the wall, one forth sent north of the wall for the Free Folk, one fourth for the poor of Fleabottom and one-fourth overseas to the underprivileged of The Summer Islands. Joffery was impressed by his humanitarian charity. Joffery took notice of how he paid his farmers well for all the hard work they did day in and day out. Orlan and his wife lived a frugal life but vacationed overseas every 3 years as a splurge. The Flowers never lived extravagantly though they could well afford to.

Joffery would now add more to the small council. He had ideas. He sent a Pal with a scroll to Sarella Sand inviting her to be the new Meister. Pal was then sent to Willas Tyrell to be the Master of Literacy and Education. Joffery had Pal busy, a trip to Orlan Flowers, then Ellaria Sand to be The Mistress of Brothels and Adult Entertainment long with her paramour Prince Oberon Martell to be in charge of Adult Entertainment Security. All in all, instead of 7 it will be a seat of 10. Joffery had other ideas for further down the road but this was the first major change and he knew flack was heading his way. Joffery just smiled when he thought of that.

Davos Seaworthy went to Kings Landing hoping to have an audience with the King. He waited for the last petitioner while he watched with keen interest to see how Joffery would answer them. He was impressed, Joffery showed compassion, was not arrogant like a noble could be and seemed to be wise for his young age.

Joffery's time to talk with his subjects was over for the afternoon. Davos was the last one so Joffery smiled, rose and walked down to Davos.

Joffery looked at him eye to eye " Sir Davos I am glad to see you, can we talk?"

Davos was surprised."Yes, your grace of course."

Joffery smiled "Walk with me, I was heading to the dining hall to eat supper. I recently showed my favorite cook how to make pancakes they are really good. Would you care to join us ?"

Davos smiled and said "Kind of you to offer your grace. I am here to tell you that not everyone who served Stannis Baratheon is like him."

Joffery stopped turned to Davos and asked to see his hands. Joffery winced "Did that bum do this to you?"

Davos was taken back and nodded in affirmative.

Joffery said, "After you risked your life to get food to him so he wouldn't starve to death, that's a rotten way to say thank you."

Joffery took Davos' hand and glowed green, Davos' hand glowed green. Davos fingers were restored. Davos checked the bag he wore around his neck and his old fingers were still in the bag.

Davos eyes wide as saucers looked at King Joffery he said "My gods King what exactly are you ?! Th-thank you! my gods, I have my hands back!"

Joffery shrugged and said, "I am so happy you came by I was wanting to meet you Sir Davos and healing your hand was part of what I had in mind. I have two things to ask of you. This ain't a cheap trick. Your hands are healed no matter what you say."

Davos nodded, alright your grace what are those things you want to ask of me?"

Joffery smiled "My Cousin Shereen is a good kid, a good young lady and I wondered if she could foster with you and your family?"

Davos turned as he saw Shereen catching up with them, she beamed when she saw sir Davos. Davos was there when her father died by raven-attack and saw her mother reject her like throwing scum in the seawater. Davos figured he would be as good a father to her as he could.

Davos looked at her and then to Joffery he said "It would be a pleasure, your grace, my wife would also have a new friend. Yes, your grace, I do indeed like that idea."

Shereen hugged Davos who may not be her real father but in her heart, he was just like a father to her.

Joffery to Shereen, "So you want pancakes too ?"

They chuckled as they walked to the dining hall. One could smell the fresh pancakes, sweet syrup, and butter awaiting them. Myrcella had a fork full of 4 pancake bites dripping with sweet maple syrup, she stuffed that in her mouth looking at Tommen and giggling. Tom smiled at her as he reached for 2 more whole pancakes and saw Joffery walking in with Sir Davos and Shereen. Tommen smiled happily "JOFF! come brother its breakfast instead of supper still quite hot."

Joffery smiled as he looked at the spread, rasher of bacon, a silver plate with a small mound of butter, a silver pot with warm syrup, berries, bananas and a stack of a dozen pancakes, he thought all they needed was coffee. They ate and laughed and Davos was really enjoying this unexpected meal.

Joffery smiled at Davos "oh I almost forgot the other thing, how would you like to be the Master of Ships?"

Davos paused, swallowed and then gave a wry smile "Of course your grace it will be an honor to serve the realm."

Shereen "Sir Davos you must see Alaska she is so sweet, she has such soft fur, she would let you pet her. Her cubs are so cute too."

Myrcella "I am surprised Alaska isn't-here-TOMMEN!" Alaska's nose was on the table and Tommen flipped her a buttered pancake.

Tyrion waddled in and smiled, "Pancakes the aroma drew me here. I see the wolf momma must have the same idea, may I join you all ?" he sat and Myrcella happily made her uncle a plate with 3 off the top and also gave him the syrup pourer.

They all laughed.

Joffery planned to tell Tyrion, Tommen, and Marcella about the ace up his sleeve.

AN/I had trouble posting chapter 4 but if you have read this far then 4 was posted right and so was this chapter.