Chapter.6
In an inn, a bard leads the crowd in anew song. A simple song that will slowly be sung throughout the realm and beyond. A legend which will be sung in Pubs, Hostels and feasts as far east as YiTi and all points in between.
Drink up be merry drink up ye ale
I'll sing you a true and clever tale
A song of The Boy King who can't be burned
Chorus -Oh Joffery, good King Joffery you can't be burned
Joffery good King Joffery peaceful and kind
Cruel King Stannis bewitched by greed
his teeth did grind
Not to wife nor his daughter
only to the Red Priestess was he kind
CHORUS
Young King Joffery and his Hound
came peace to make
Cruel King Stannis with anger did shake
Prisoners of the Good King and his hound did he take
CHORUS
Oh Joffery-Joffery good King Joffery
a heart for the people I heard
He made alliances with a smile and always kept his word
Cruel King Stannis put Good King Joffery on fire to burn
Young King Joffery for Rhollor be burned
Gods or man will by now have learnt
King Joffery is the Unburnt
Joffery walks up the stairs of the Tower of The Hand .He remembers Stairmasters and chuckled to himself as he climbed with ease. He has the Hound climbing with him. Joffery turns to the Hound.
"Hang on Sandy, there is something I been meaning to do." They stop, Joffery slaps Sandor on the back, supernatural restorative healing surged through Sandor Clegane's body. His severely burned face became unburnt skin, hair was restored. Sandor Clegane could smile. Now without any pain and smile, he did. Joffery was amazed seeing how it worked. Sandor no longer felt the dull ache on the side of his face. He reached and felt skin, smooth skin! He then looked at Joffery "You, your grace healed me? Fuck I don't know-"
Joffery nodded "You know what Sandy? I should have done this much sooner , my bad, so take the night off heck take the week off and enjoy life."
Joffery smiled then walked the rest by himself and knocked on the door. He could hear laughter and then the door is opened by Tommen .
"Joffery, are you here to tell us about your ace as you call it?"
Joffery smiles "You mean the ace up my sleeves don't cha? By the way are you still sneaking pancakes to Alaska?" Joffery mussed Tommen's hair and smiled as he walked over to Tyrion who was sitting behind his desk wine cup in hand. "Your grace we are all here and the lot of us must go somewhere discreet. My office is not quite free of prying ears. Tyrion holds up a cup of wine "Wine your grace?"
Joffery takes the cup and sips then "Let me see here- Cella, Tommen , Sherry(Shereen), Davos we have quite a crowd big guy. Sighs, Well you guys are all in for an eye opener . "
Davos looked serious which was his norm actually. He is an honest no-nonsense kind of man. "If I may your grace, when the sun soon sets I know a cave we can go to and there we shall have discretion. They took turns telling jokes and laughed together. Cella and Sherry would look at each other and roll their eyes at some of the really silly ones and giggle at the rest. Times like these Joffery missed Sansa, he was sure she would have loved this get together. That made him think of his Dire wolf knowing soon Alaska's pups would be a year old and time to take them to Winterfell.
"With the sun set they headed to the outskirts of King's Landing. They wore hooded robes and traveled with one lantern on low. Nobody spoke to avoid unwanted attention. Davos led them all to a hill , they walked up to an opening in the side , which was midway up. Inside with the lantern turned on high they passed through a corridor like a tunnel. They reached some stairs at the end leading down. One could hear water, this was a smugglers cave one that Davos had bought a few years ago. They reached a place with a dozen wood chairs set in a circle
.As careful as they were they were followed, curios as a cat Cersie showed up, took a seat to everyone surprise.
Cella and Tommen were excited "MOTHER!? "
Tyrion "Well sweet sister I applaud your stealth ."
Joffery " Mother you are a sneaky dame you know that? " Joffery laughs "I might as well tell you too but first any suitors catch your eye ?"
Cersie winkled her nose and fidgeted as she looked around. "You first my son we are all here for the same reason I presume."
Joffery cleared his throat ,looked at every face illuminated by the lantern." Ok here goes . ."Ok for that ace up your Kings sleeve. I have the following superpowers; Invulnerability -durability, superhuman healing and regenerative ability the ability to give these two powers to others, 'healing them'. Oh its true it's damn true! I also have super strength up to and above 80 tons so far, I am quicker than a hiccup you see I can travel 5 times faster than the speed of sound, I am the master of every form of hand to hand combat and martial arts known to man Myrcella and Tommen I have trained in some of them and they are good learners. Now this might be spooky but stay with me everyone I am a super-duper warg. I can mind to mind communicate with all creatures and form incredible bonds of friendship with them. That is where my dire wolf Alaska came from and my fine feathered lil winged raven I named Pal who delivers my raven scrolls. I am an empath and can feel what others feel. This has taken some getting used to believe me. These abilities were a result of cosmic energy focused on my conscious mind and subconscious. I was told by my dear big sis from another mother Kerry Ann that my super-strength was the latent ability I already had it was awakened by the cosmic power enhancements." You could have heard a pin drop what she said blew their minds. They were speechless.
'A bright light almost like flash photography nearly blinds everyone and Kerry Ann appears. She has green light illuminating her .She has her knee length lab coat on, breast pocket with a pocket protector lined with pens and pink sneakers on her feat .She looks the stereotypical science nerd. Something this crowd has never seen before so they stared .
" You well said King Joffery my lil bro. That is all true,King Joffery has many, many supernatural powers. I gave them to him because of science! And I love my lil bro. Supernatural Science is my forte and my life. My father was a meta-human with powers on a godlike scale and I inherited most of those abilities. All the abilities I have as an immortal, I was able to share most of them with your King ."
She turned and smiled a bright happy smile at King Joffery. "King Joff I am happy with all your accomplishments. You have done more than I ever expected. Now I think since you let the cat out of the bag, no Tommen that's just a metaphor, it is better for me to tell you who Joffery is. After all, it IS my fault. I am the one responsible for your new King Joffery. " She paused looking at everyone's surprised countenances ." Ok people, best way to show you first hand is to teleport us all to my place. Well people massive transport energy on three, two, one." POP!
A loud POP sound and they were all seated comfortably. In a white room with pink curtains a long table is at the center surrounded by plush brown recliners. On the other side is Kerry Ann who held up her hand and just began typing on her pink laptop until a large screen appeared in the wall behind her.
Kerry Ann stops, looks up and smiles as she sees everyone looking around.
Shereen has a worried look of interest .Cousin this is another woman who practices magic oh Joff what have you gotten us into? All she could think of is that awful Melisandre.
Tommen and Myrcella both have eyes wide looking around at everything. They wondered what the lady was and what is she doing?
Tommen kept wondering if this was a weird yet pleasant dream.
Myrcella this was scary but after all we weren't hurt ,it is new magic of sorts, just what was Joffery's secret?
Cersie stares at Kerry Ann oozing with mistrust. Who does she think she is? A good big sis HA! How dare you manipulate my sweet son.
Davos shakes his head and folds his arms then looks around. This woman has power as I have never witnessed and yet here we are unharmed. She said she is the source of His Graces powers and he is kind. I owe him a lot. I will watch and keep my tongue until I have heard the whole matter.
Tyrion is first to speak "Tell me miss-" Call me Kerry Ann " Tyrion then continues "Miss Kerry Ann might you have some wine?" Cersie " Yes if you do I could use some myself"
Joffery laughs at that then "Ok we have that covered everyone heads up" He stands up and points to the screen ."This is a video monitor it shows moving images which were recorded for historical purposes relax and get comfortable. Show and tell is about to begin. As for your refreshments A unibot will bring you wine and cola for Cella and Sherry and popcorn for all to munch on as we watch this screen. You will know the secret of who I am. Make no mistake, I love you all you are family that will never change."
A robot server called a unibot rolls out. Its 6 foot tall, shiny aluminum the shape of a bullet. This unibot has 4 silver arms on the sides where two arms should be. It has hands on the ends wearing white gloves. It has a tray in two of the hands. On the bottom of the robot a bicycle like a wheel instead of legs. It makes a whirring noise as it moves .
This gets stares by everyone as it places mugs of wine for Tyrion and Cersie, A Stein of German Beer for Davos, A Bottle of coke for, Cella, Shereen, and Tommen. Joff grabs a steaming cup of coffee off that tray the unibot was holding and relished it. "Oh my I missed this, Cuban Coffee too, yummy."
He finished it walked over to the unibot and took a huge 3 gallon bucket of pop corn took a hand full and shoved it greedily in his mouth. Then he gave the bucket to Cersie. he crunched and chewed it up then said "Mother take some and pass it to Cella. Its good, made from America corn, crunchy, savory and buttery. Pass it around so everyone gets some. Put that then on the table pease in reach of everyone. Cersie did as told and smiled as she munched as ladylike as she could and looked at her son Joffery.
Kerry waited everyone seemed calm enough and then started the show.
Kerry Ann "This is your solar system note the red arrow pointing to your planet "
They saw their planet and then the solar system. It was an instant realization that they lived on one of 9 planets that orbited their sun. Kerry Ann "Your home planet has a weird orbit see it is oblong which accounts for your long summers and winters. Now let's look at a completely different solar system. See this one also has 9 planets but they are all in a similar orbit. This is the solar system Grim Darkthorn is from."
Kerry Ann said "Closer now to the very Planet where Grim Darkthorn is from.
Then they saw earth .Then a vignette of images ,Twentieth century marvels had them staring fascinated with what they saw.
Kerry Ann " All these marvels you see isn't magic but science. They are the work of artisans called mechanics ,electricians , engineers and so on." She paused
"Now the next thing you will see is who King Joffery really is, a kind affable showman professional wrestler named Grim Darkthorn. " A few gasps and a cough and then silence." Now you have burning questions and they will be answered soon so hold those thoughts and please watch."
Then for the next hour they saw the life of Grim Darkthorn. The vignettes of his professional wrestling career was of keen interest to Tyrion, Tommen and Myrcella. They saw his last match and his walk home and then his transformation.
Kerry Ann decided to leave out the Game Of Thrones TV show Grim watched. Instead, she said "Everyone you should know Joffery Baratheon the original is quite safe and happy ."
Then they were shown a bald eagle soaring through the sky. Close up on its face revealed green eyes.
Cersie gasped "Is that, is that the eyes of my Joffery?"
Kerry Ann nodded " Of course they are. Dear lady I had to make a mind swap , I am no monster , I put him where he would live out the rest of his life happily and yet be no danger anyone. He is a bald eagle, such a grand bird is the national sigil of the country he lives in now, he is well respected and considered a noble bird .Bald Eagles mate for life. See he brought a salmon to his nest for his feathered spouse and 10 little hungry fledgling eagles."
To emphasize her point of the difference between new and old Joffery, vignettes of the old Joffery's actions over the years leading up to Ned Stark's trial were shown in living color .They were acts of shocking cruelty, cowardice, arrogance and brutal violence that Joffery could get away with by being a Prince .From cutting open a pregnant cat to how he treated his siblings and his Betrothed the whole awful thing .
Kerry Ann then let them see what new King Joffery/Grim accomplished, ending with the scene at Stormsend he was unburnt ,and then the journey back to King's Landing riding the Elks with the crows perched on their antlers.
Cersie was unsure what to think .Was she really that blind to not see how wicked her son was? Is this some trick?
Then Joffery stood up. He walked over and took Tommen and Myrcella's hands and gave them the super healing and regenerative ability, durability, invulnerability making them immortals. He wasn't sure is he gave them this before but it would not hurt them either way.
Joffery "Celle and Tommen you are now immortals like Davos ,Shereen and I ."
He then walked to Cersie he gently took her hand and gave her the same,she immediately felt the difference too .She wished Jamie was here.
Joffery "See Mother, I told you Maggie the frog was full of krap. I bet you now feel the best you have in years. Don't worry Ser Jaimie is family, I intend to make the trip to Casterly Rock sometime" Joffery winked at her Cersie nodded .
Tyrion walked over to Joffery and Joff grabbed his hand and poof, Tyrion was also an immortal.
Kerry Ann laughed "Oh my -my! Joffery you are so generous this whole group will live need to celebrate,
Cersie ,Myrcella and Shereen you are coming with me girls ."
.Cersie stood conflicted with disdain and yet gratitude "Just where might you be taking us now ?"
Kerry Ann walked over to Cersie took her by the hands and giggled "Cersie when the going gets tough the tough go shopping! You and I share King Joffery he is your son and my lil bro and that's a lot to process. So we girls are going to three different shopping malls on another planet called Terra it's like Grim Darkthorn's Earth . Don't worry it's on me I will finance us ."
So they went and disappeared , many or most,- okay all ladies love to shop! So one can imagine how much fun they eventually had.
Joffery "Well guys we will hang out here until the ladies return ,glad Kerry Ann is paying for this .
Tyrion "I see now what that ACE of yours is couldn't you have told me sooner ,you had me worried my boy . " he sighed "I presume we all shall then, as you put it goof off ?'
Davos "I feel that you are a good man Joffery ,never doubt that .I will take your secret to my grave." Joffery smiled wide and then smirked "What grave? ,You are immortal Davos ." They laughed at that.
Tommen "Joffery you really were a wrestler! If we were in your planet could Celle and I become professional wrestlers too?"
Joffery chuckled "Once you are 18, heck you know I would have signed both of you two up in a heartbeat and Tyrion you would make a good color commentator. You know wrestling fans would love you big guy. I want to make Pro Wrestling in Westeros someday. I mean we have fun training and soon we will put on small shows where we can. So yes you and Celle will get to wrestle maybe Sherry will join us ?"Joffery looked at Davos who shrugged.
They spent the most time watching TV shows and movies. A whole lot of cartoons and movies. They laughed at comedy, were on the edge of their seats rooting for the heroes as they watched action adventure thrillers. Tyrion and Davos seemed to agree that mystery and science fiction was fun to watch. They had a ball. They also watched 3 Wrestle Manias, Tyrion watched with interest especially the commentary.
Kerry Ann took the girls to Walton Mall on Mary Easter Cut off in the Panhandle of Florida, Oaks Mall in Gainesville Florida and a big flea market in Dothan Alabama. They stayed at a condo just off the beach they worked on sun tans .They flew in air planes to each city. They ate at awesome seafood places had pizza, steaks, Chinese food and much- much more. Myrcella bought pro wrestling gear boots and clothes at a BCW Store. Shereen loved the book stores and comic book stores. Cersie stuck with Kerry Ann and it was clothes stores Cersie couldn't get over how many there were and Honey Girl's Secret she bought some smoldering night gowns and knickers.
Then once back from their trip they gave the guys those gifts they got for them . Each of them was given Aviator sunglasses, Denim jeans, a pack of playing cards and Swiss army pocket knives. Then individual gifts different for each fellow.
Tommen pink and black pro wrestling singlet like Hit man Brett Hart might wear ,black wrestling boots, a stack of Super hero comic books, a modern encyclopedia of cats with gorgeous photos and illustrations.
Myrcella had bought her own wrestling tights and they were leopard spots on gold with gold boots and a Gold luchadore mask.
For Tyrion books the works of various Mad Magazine artists, Star Trek novels and The works of Arthur Conan Doyle. He was given Classic humor book based on the movie Jimmy Stewart stared in called Harvey , also the classic Arsenic and Old lace and Perry Mason Novels.
Davos was given books on the ocean which Shereen agreed to help him read ,Moby Dick, 20 Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, Mysterious Island and the History of Battle Ships including Submarines.
They were transported back ,each one to their own rooms.
Meanwhile in Winterfell
The Stark family sat in the dining hall to eat breakfast. Typical morning fare was enjoyed by all, bacon, scrambled eggs, fresh pears sliced, bread rolls, apple jam, and lemon honey cakes. Arya was excited because she heard Nymeria was in Wolf's wood. All Arya said was that she was going to practice in the tilt yard. Then at luncheon she wasn't there to eat with her family. Lady Caitlyn went to Arya's room. The door was not locked Arya's room was empty, Arya was gone.
Search parties were unsuccessful. After 3 days they sent ravens everywhere. Nymeria ,Arya's dire wolf did actually make her way north with her pack looking for her human. Nymeria followed Arya's scent to The Dreadfort.
AN)Chapter 7 we will find out what happened to Arya .Joffery will go to Winterfell. If anyone is still following this story I can't thank you enough it's my first fan fiction story. It is leading up to two final main events, The wedding and the fight against the Night King.