So, on February 15, 2020, at 5 PM, my cat (we'll call her The Cat for privacy's sake) had to be put down due to kidney disease. I was sad when it happened, but now I mostly just feel numb. I'm talking to a counselor at school, but I wanted some way to express my feelings, so I wrote two fanfics: a chapter for my PTA Undertale AU story "I'm a Member of the PTA" that was more personal, and this story, which is more symbolic. I'm not entirely sure where The Cat is as I'm writing this, but I hope it's somewhere nice. This story is dedicated to her.

This is a Toon Henry AU one-shot, post-studio, where Bendy has to learn about the natural cycle of life and what that means for everyone he knows. There are mentions of events from different Toon Henry stories that aren't mine; if you've read at least a few certain ones, you'll probably get the references. I won't spoil much, but I think I did pretty okay at expressing Bendy's innocent fears of the concept. I hope you think so, too. See you at the bottom of the page.

Bendy and the Natural Cycle

By: Yours The Author

Dedicated To: The Cat-Rest in Peace, my little baby.

Bendy loved being outside. The deep blue sky, the green grass and leaves… it was much prettier than the studio, to put it lightly. Today, he was wandering around the edge of the park in the town, admiring the trees with silent glee, since there weren't any children coming out to play and Boris and Alice were busy helping Henry fix a late lunch. Why stay inside on such a lovely day, he thought? Well, most days were lovely, but you know what he meant.

He meandered up to a certain tree, his legs a little tired from all the back and forth walking he had been doing around the park's perimeter. Sitting under a tree in the soft grass sounded nice; maybe he'd take a nap and feel the breeze blow through his horns. So, that's what he decided to do.

He plopped down at the base of the tree and leaned back, smile as bright as ever. He glanced to his left and his right before closing his eyes… then popping them back open again and looking to his left again.

There was a bird next to him. Something about it was off, though. From Bendy's experience, most birds stayed away from people, toon or human, flying away into the sky when someone approached. Even when they were close enough for him to see clearly, they usually sat up, cocking their heads this way and that. This one seemed to be lying down, and it was hard to see if it was twitching in its apparent sleep. Bendy had never seen a sleeping bird before, but he supposed it made sense for them to lie down. How else were you supposed to sleep? Well, unless you were a bat. Still…

Bendy hovered a hand over it, unsure if he should touch it. Back when they had first moved out here, Henry had had to remind the devil darling not to touch the birds and squirrels, since they might not be clean. Henry seemed to really like things to be clean. Bendy hummed, shifting his mouth to the left and right side of his face when he got an idea. He snapped his fingers.

The bird didn't get up.

Being a toon, Bendy had a naturally loud snap and whistle, so it would probably wake most people up at least a little bit. Thinking of that, he put his fingers to his mouth and whistled as if he were hailing a taxi.

The bird didn't get up.

This was concerning. Was the bird sick? Maybe it couldn't get up because it was hurt and had passed out, which was why it wouldn't get up at the loud noise. Bendy quickly stood and grabbed some green leaves from a low hanging branch. He laid them gently over the bird like a blanket. Henry would help. He'd know what to do.

Bendy didn't stop running until he audibly skidded to a stop in the kitchen of the house. Henry was kneeling down and putting something on the bottom shelf of the fridge while Alice and Boris were setting sandwiches and some of those "bee-bee-cue" chips Henry knew Bendy liked so much on the table. "Hello, Bendy," Alice greeted. "Why are you back from the park already? We figured we'd have to meet you there and have a picnic."

Bendy didn't waste any time. "I think a bird is sick."

Boris flicked an ear in confusion. "Birds can get sick?"

"Well, birds are living things, Boris," Alice reminded him gently, then turned to Bendy. "How do you know it's sick?"

"Who's sick?" Henry asked, standing up slowly from his kneeling position and putting a hand to his back as he turned to the toons.

"A bird," Bendy repeated.

"…A bird?" Henry looked at him oddly.

Bendy nodded, bouncing on his heels, itching to get back to the bird and help it. "I was in the park when I decided to sit next to a tree, and I saw a bird sleeping on the ground. It didn't get up when I made noise, so I thought it must be sick or hurt."

Henry's brow furrowed. Then he looked like he realized something. Then, he gave Bendy an almost sad look. "I think I might know what's wrong, but I'll need to make sure. Boris, why don't you pack the food in a basket like we said we would and we'll head over to the park?"

"Okay, Henry," Boris smiled and went to grab the basket from the pantry.

Bendy was literally jumping up and down in annoyance now. "Come on, come on! We need to hurry!"

"Easy, Bendy," Henry said, rubbing his hand between the toon's horns.

"All packed!" Boris held up the basket in triumph.

"Alright," Alice said. "Let's go—Bendy, wait!" Bendy had bolted out the door.

Alice was about to follow when Henry set a hand on her shoulder. "Actually, Alice… could you get a marker and a shoebox for me? I think there's an empty shoebox in the closet in my room."

She raised an eyebrow. "What do you need those things for?"

"In case I'm right." He said this with a bit of a grave tone, so Alice quickly retrieved the items and followed him and Boris out the door.

Bendy was running down the street, stopping every so often to turn around and wave his arms at the others to get them to hurry up. Finally, after a minute or two of this, Bendy led them to the pile of leaves by the tree. He gently removed the leafy blanket and stood aside for Henry to see. Henry carefully knelt next to the bird and looked at it from different angles. Then, to Bendy's surprise, he put two fingers to the bird's neck. After a second, he nodded and sighed. Then, he began to put the leaves back over it. "What are you doing, Henry?" Bendy asked. "We've got to help it!"

Henry shook his head. "There's not much we can do now, Bendy. It's dead."

Silence. Thoughts were running through Bendy's mind, a million miles a minute. Thoughts from back in the studio…

I'll make you wish you were dead, Henry! You hear me?! Dead!

He had said and thought these things about Henry, but he hadn't really meant it; he was just angry. He had a concept of death. Toons died all the time, with a little ghost floating above them and X's over their eyes… but they always came back. And something told Bendy that was mostly toon logic. He had a bad feeling…

"What… does that mean?" Boris asked.

Henry sighed and stood slowly. "It means they don't move anymore. Or think, or breathe… they kind of just stop. And their spirits go to whatever's beyond. No one's really sure what happens, but that's just the way it works. All living things die."

"Even you?" Boris asked quietly.

"…Yes."

Bendy turned and ran, ignoring the worried calls that were getting farther away. He ran to the little playground and sat under the metal slide, pulling his knees to his chest and putting his head in his arms. Ink dripped down his forehead.

Why would Henry have to die? He didn't do anything wrong! Why did that bird have to die? It was a bird, it probably didn't do anything wrong, either. And what would he and Alice and Boris do without Henry? He was their creator, the best thing that ever happened to them! It wasn't fair!

"It's not fair!" Bendy cried shakily.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up with beady eyes to see Henry kneeling next to him. "That's just the way it is, Bendy. It's always been that way."

"Well, I don't want to lose you!"

"And I don't want to lose you three, either. This is the happiest I've been in years, and I don't want that to end. But… it has to. No one can do anything to stop it."

Bendy thought for a moment. "Maybe… I could? We could make a deal, and—"

"Bendy." Henry said sternly. Bendy flinched and looked up at him again. "No more deals. You can't make that decision for others. Besides, it might not be so bad."

"What do you mean? You'll be gone forever!"

"Physically, yes. But like I said, my spirit will move on. Maybe I'll turn into an angel like Alice or something."

Bendy choked a laugh. "You? In a halo and dress?"

Henry gave him a playful nudge. "You know what I mean, you little punk. Maybe I'll go to wherever my Ma and Pa are. Maybe I'll get to play with my cat Maxine again. Anything could happen, and when it comes to that particular topic, I'd like to think optimistically."

Bendy thought for another moment, taking this in. "…Will I die?"

"To be honest, I don't know. I'm not an expert on demons and ink creatures. Maybe it'll be like the people in the studio, and your spirits will be released after you're ready."

"…Huh." Bendy wasn't sure how to feel about that. On one hand, he didn't really want to die. That sounded painful and scary. On the other hand, maybe the chance to see Henry and Alice and Boris together again could be worth it? Of course, being a demon, maybe he wouldn't get that opportunity like the other toons might. But at this point, it was all he could hope for. Sitting under the metal slide, he thought back to a while ago when he first got caught under it in a rainstorm and was nearly washed away. He considered for a second that he would stand out in a heavy rainstorm after the others were gone so that his spirit would have to go on, but he pushed that thought away. From what Henry had suggested about his mental state after the war, he probably wouldn't like that line of thinking.

"If it makes you feel better," Henry said after a minute, "I brought a shoebox."

Bendy slowly turned his head to look at him. "…What?"

"Remember 'Tombstone Picnic'?"

"…Yes?" Where was Henry going with this?

"Do you know what goes under a tombstone?"

"…A skeleton?"

"Well, maybe after a long time, but no. When someone dies, most of the time, their loved ones put them in a box—a coffin for people, an actual box for animals—and burry them in a special spot. Then they mark it with something, like a tombstone."

"Are they okay with that?"

"Well, I think the ancient Egyptians sort of left their dead in an empty room under a pyramid, but for the most part, yeah. It's a tradition."

Bendy thought about that. He supposed it didn't necessarily matter what happened to the body, as long as the spirit was happy with it. He found himself nodding slowly. "Okay… okay." He nodded more confidently, feeling the ink trace back up into place. "Let's do that. We could bury him near the tree I found him at. Oh! A pick some of those daisies to put on it!"

"Interesting that you bring that up…" Henry and Bendy looked up to see Alice holding a small bunch of daisies in one hand and carrying the shoebox with the marker in it under her other arm. Boris was still holding the picnic basket, but he was holding something in one hand Bendy couldn't see. "I know your not technically supposed to pick the flowers planted in the park, but I thought this could be an exception…?"

Henry smiled and slowly stood up, giving Bendy room to come out from under the slide. "I think they'll be okay with it, if they ever find out. Whatcha got there, pup?"

Boris held out a lovely smooth stone, a perfectly uniform gray color that sparkled slightly in the sun. "Alice was picking flowers when I saw this stone near the path. It's not as pretty as flowers, but maybe we'll be able to know where we bury the bird?"

Bendy realized Henry must have given them a quick version of the talk before coming to find him. Then something clicked. "Like a tombstone!"

"That's actually pretty clever," Henry said, making Boris' ears perk up. "Better than a piece of cardboard like I was thinking about. Alright, let's do it. We'll have to go back and get the shovel, but we can have a picnic afterwards to celebrate good times."

"That sounds lovely," Alice said.

And that's how it went. Henry dug a small hole near the base of the tree and gently laid the bird in the shoebox, closing it up before putting the dirt back in the hole. He patted the spot flat with the back of the shovel, and then Alice and Boris laid their flowers and the stone over the flat dirt. Bendy smiled sadly, wondering if the bird was a good bird and what kind of place its spirit would go to. Maybe a big forest with lots of birdseed. He then noticed Henry leaning heavily on the shovel and panting, and he felt fear grip his inky heart again.

Henry noticed him looking and gave him a tired smile. "Just haven't dug a hole in a few years, the picnic will fix me up. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, you little punk."

Bendy's smile returned, and he thumped his head lightly on Henry's leg. "Love you, old man," he said just loud enough to be heard.

Henry patted him between the horns and guided him to where Alice and Boris were laying out the picnic blanket. "Love you too, Bendy."

The End

So, fun fact: BBQ chips (Bendy knows it's a series of letters, but he spells them out anyway) in 1958, and since the game takes place in the fifties or sixties and this story presumably takes place a few years after that, I figured Henry'd probably have some in his house. Why does Bendy like BBQ chips? Color is a big factor in things he likes, so pretty orange chips would probably be appealing. Following that, of course, is taste. I remember reading somewhere that Toon Henry AU Bendy would probably like spicy foods, and while BBQ chips aren't super spicy (and coming from me, that's saying something, since I think almost everything is spicy) the sweet and salty chip with a slight kick would probably be very tasty to Bendy.

Another fun fact: Maxine was the name of The Cat before we adopted and renamed her. I wanted to put her somewhere in the story, so I figured Henry having a cat named Maxine would be nice. I think he might actually be more of a dog person, but he has a special place in his heart for Maxine. And so do I.

This is not the end of my writing career; I'm currently working on my pride and joy, The Cult Series, which is a HetaOni fic that is wrapping up with the last book (not including a possible spinoff and one—shots), "The Citadel of the Onis". I know one of my BatIM story regulars, XXSamuraiPrincess26XX, has been reviewing it faithfully, and I can't thank them enough. So, thanks, XXSamuraiPrincess26XX. It means a lot to me.

Anyway, what did you think? I figure the toons would have to learn about mortality some time, and maybe Henry's right: maybe their spirits will move on after a while and they'll be together again. It's a hopeful thought. So, leave a review and tell me what you thought. I'll see you again someday… I hope. Until then!