A/N: Okay, I can't help it. I keep on having the urge to write both sides of a story. I equally love both halves of the RebelCaptain pairing and just couldn't leave this alone as it was, with Cassian's view only ^^'
Again, this chapter is far from the drabble it was supposed to be, but please enjoy it anyway.
The day has started fine, but everything went to all hells way too fast. How to openly admit defeat?
It was supposed to be an absolutely perfect day, free of duties and worries for the whole family, a breath of fresh air in spite of the ever-present smoke of battlefield. Everybody needs some rest, Jyn and the guys too. But, she believes it's Cassian who deserves having proper rest the most. He's such a selfless man, not expecting anything in return, while giving out his everything. Jyn sometimes can't quite believe all that she gets from him is real. Safety and closeness, trust and honesty; Cassian is sharing with her both his mind and his body. She's never felt so grateful before. And while she hates show-offs, Jyn has firmly decided to not let Cassian feel singled out - or, even worse, forgotten. Dumb holiday is a holiday nonetheless, unwritten traditions need following too. She'd do whatever it takes to not let Cassian down, to offer him a special gift on this stupid day.
Yet, Jyn obviously has not done enough. Her heart breaks as she's painfully aware of the failure. And Cassian wants her to tell him all about it, with steady touch of his palm as an encouragement. Neither of them treats touch lightly. Both are still learning how to convey thoughts with just touch, yet she knows exactly what he's saying now.
"You've heard about that funny holiday everybody is talking about? Lovers' Day? It's celebrated with sweets and flowers and silly stuffed animals. It's today, apparently"
It's more difficult to express than she'd thought. Still, she has to continue without breaking into tears at the thought of hurting Cassian.
"So... wanted to get you a gift for this... Found someone who could get some real Festian spices for your cooking... But turns out the person is still off the base..."
Silence means he does feel hurt after all. He's hurt and disappointed with such a thoughtless partner. It gets harder and harder to talk with each passing second of silence from Cassian, so Jyn utters the words more and more quietly.
"I thought you'd be happy. I wanted to make you happy. You deserve a gift today. And I failed"
Cassian is fast at retorting. It's no wonder, he's so much better at using words than she is.
"Oh no, you didn't. You already made me happier. You always do"
It's so incredibly sweet of him to say so. Does he mean it, though? Does the trust and honesty between them also cover cheering up or compliments? This is so complicated.
"Jyn, the spices were a great idea and you know it. But, do you know what makes the best gift today? You, here with me"
It gets even sweeter with that feather-light kiss on her cheek. Touch between them is not a tool, nor a weapon. Instead, it's the effort of opening to feelings. It's the effort of expressing the feelings in a way the other would instantly understand. So he's honest with her after all - and it's hard to comprehend Jyn could have any doubts.
"Come on, we've been through this already, just the other way round. Can we agree again that no gifts are ever necessary, and keep the promise this time?"
Now that's seriously, utterly, horribly - embarrassing. He's right, it had happened already, yet she has managed to forget about it completely. How come? It wasn't that long ago, just this past New Year. New Year means new beginnings, and it's customary to offer good luck charms to near and dear ones, for a prosperous fresh year to come. Cassian has been so ashamed and sad when returning from an assignment empty-handed on that exact day. It took Jyn a lot of talking to explain him, that his safe and sound return is the best New Year gift he could've ever brought her. How could she forget about a discussion just as nonsensical as the present one?
Yet, Cassian remembers. He's not hurt. He's apparently content with just her idea alone. He's content with just her, and he knows how to show it: with closeness and touch, things too precious to toy with them. Jyn can't contain the insane happiness growing in her in place of stupid - oh so stupid - ill-founded worries. She barely can stifle the urge to giggle.
"We'll do the cooking some other time. We've had our meal already and there are no duties for today. Let's just enjoy this gift of a peaceful afternoon, shall we?"
Jyn feels stunned with the sudden revelation. Cassian. Her. Together. And plenty of time for everything they can think of, she and that amazing man beside her. She positively beams at him when asking the first thing her shocked brain wants to learn.
"I gather you do have an idea already for making the best use of our free time?"
The smile on Cassian's face when she reaches out for a kiss tells her all she wants to know.
This is the actual gift they both deserve: time to spend together. And they will enjoy it fully, no matter if it's a holiday or not.