A/N: Thanks to my guest reviewer! ^_^ I mean don't get me wrong, *I* certainly wouldn't say no to a mountain of treasure XD

Time to meet Kevin.

Chapter 4 - Back Into the Frying Pan

Crowley tried to keep his breathing even but it was getting harder. He was so cold he could barely feel his hands now, but at least it meant the pain was starting to fade away. It was alright, though. Upstairs, the robbers were releasing the hostages to the baffled policemen per Aziraphale's orders—and damn, if the last thing he ever saw was the angel like that, then, well, at least that was something—and soon this would all be over.

"Was that alright?" Aziraphale asked him, kneeling beside the demon and looking anxious. The angel took his hand. "Oh Crowley, your hands are like ice! Just hold on, dear boy. We're almost there. As soon as they get back down here…"

"Alright?" Crowley repeated, ignoring the second part of what he'd said. He snorted and shook his head with a small smile. "Now I see why Beelzebub… was convinced. Don't take this the… wrong way, angel, but… you make a pretty… good… demon."

"Oh, hush, Crowley," Aziraphale protested, pink about the ears. "I simply imagined I was you, that's all."

The idea that Aziraphale thought he was anything at all as calm and in control as all that made Crowley shake his head with disbelief. That angel.

"Anyways," Aziraphale went on. "We're almost out of this dreadful mess. Not much longer, dear."

"First things first," Crowley pointed out. "Once the… hostages… are out… you still gotta get rid of… those two morons." Okay, so he was stalling, but Crowley did not want to have the Conversation that was going to happen soon.

Aziraphale nodded and stood. "Right. Shouldn't be too difficult now. How ever can they really believe I'm some kind of demon? Oh, here they come." The angel coughed and cleared his throat, then gave himself a shake. Crowley had to suppress a smirk as Aziraphale's face morphed into an expression of what could best be described as nearly irreverent apathy. Quite the demon indeed.

A second later, the two robbers hurried down the stairs and slipped into the vault with them. Each held two of the duffel bags full of stolen money.

"All the hostages are out," Brother Robber said. "The cops know we still have two in here though, so that buys us some time while they're sorting things out. How are you gonna get us out of here?"

"Easily," Aziraphale assured them with a tight smile. He approached the two, holding both hands out. "I'll transport us. Stand close together. And you might want to hold your breath. Are you ready?"

"Ready," Lady Robber returned as both she and her brother squeezed their eyes shut.

Aziraphale put a hand on either of their heads.

Then he slammed them together with all of his non-miraculous strength.

The thud was audible as both robbers collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Crowley coughed out a weak laugh but Aziraphale didn't even crack a grin as he turned his back on the two and came right to the demon instead.

"Finally," he murmured. "Now then, we really must hurry, dear. You can heal yourself now. Or, do you suppose it would be best if I tried to fly us a little ways out of here, and then you heal a bit, and then we run some more? Stay ahead of Kevin? You could heal in stages that way."

"Angel."

"I think you'll almost certainly have to start the healing process here. How long do you imagine it'll take Kevin to get in once he knows where we are?"

"Angel…"

Aziraphale frowned ruminatively. "Maybe if you can-"

"Aziraphale. Stop." Crowley closed his eyes. He could delay no longer. "Listen to me. You have to run for it. Run, and don't look back."

The angel went still. Crowley heard him catch his breath and forced himself to look back up at his friend sorrowfully. Aziraphale slowly shook his head.

"No, we- we'll get out of here together. If you can heal just a bit-"

"I can't. I can't, Aziraphale. I- I'm already too weak and I don't have enough power to heal even a little. Listen, because I don't know how much longer I've got, but it's too late to stop this body from discorporating. As soon as I do, I'm going to end up in Hell. Angel… don't come after me. Alright? Promise me. Don't come looking. They'll catch you, and I… I couldn't bear that."

"Stop. Crowley, stop saying that. You can do it, I know you can-" Aziraphale's voice broke, though, and Crowley knew the angel already knew the truth.

Sadly, he shook his head. "It's too late. As soon as I get to Hell, I'm going to try running for it. You know I won't give up without a fight. You just get yourself away from Kevin, keep running, keep hiding. Maybe you can find a way to kill him eventually. You're clever, the cleverest there is. And I- I'll try to find you once I'm back topside again." Even though the odds of evading Beelzebub and Hastur and all the demons who wanted a piece of him, and finding another body to run around in… well, it wasn't just unlikely. It was impossible.

"Stop," Aziraphale snapped, fiercer this time. His eyes glimmered in the dim light; the sight of those tears made Crowley want to shrivel away. "Stop… please, Crowley, you can't do this. You- you have to heal. You have to."

"Don't come after me," Crowley repeated. "You have to let me go."

"No!" Aziraphale pulled away from him and for a moment, Crowley wished himself already gone. But the angel didn't turn from him, merely pushed his sleeves back. "I'll just have to heal you myself."

"Wh- angel! I'm a demon. You can't heal a demon."

"No, and I can't disobey Heaven without falling, either," Aziraphale snapped. "And I can't possess a human, either! Do you know, I'm starting to find it quite tiresome, being told what I can't do! I said I'm going to heal you, Crowley, and heal you I shall." The angel gritted his teeth. "And then I'm going to deal with Kevin."

Crowley rallied his strength in a panic to hear such talk, grabbing Aziraphale's arm. "No! He's too strong for either of us. In an outright fight-"

"Who said anything about an outright fight, my dear? If I can start you healing, how long will it take you to recover?"

"You can't heal-"

"Crowley, how long?"

The demon sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't know, it's not exactly like I do this all the time. Several minutes at least, but he'll be in here in seconds. So if this doesn't work, you'll have used up your time to escape for nothing."

"Several minutes. Alright. Then I'll have to keep him… occupied."

Crowley's snake eyes flew open again with horror. "This is absolutely, positively the worst idea you've ever had! Keeping Kevin occupied means him beating the shit out of you! We're talking torture!"

"Not a fraction of the torture it would be to lose you, my dear boy." Aziraphale paused, seeming to see the anguish Crowley knew he couldn't keep off his face, and the angel's expression softened. "This is the only solution I can see that keeps both of us away from Hell, and I will accept nothing less. I'll be alright, as long as you are. Now Crowley dear, close your eyes."

o.O.o

Such a fine evening… a fine evening to hunt and slaughter a demon. Or an angel. The nature of his prey was of little concern to Kevin, as long as he could relish the thrill of the hunt, the chase, and the ultimate anguish and torment of his quarry. The assassin had to admit, he was impressed with how long Crowley had managed to evade him. The snake had been up here a long time; he must have learned how to get by without using his demonic power, making him difficult but even more satisfying to hunt. The snake and his little pigeon would not be able to hide forever, and if they tried to fly from the city then Kevin would feel it and be able to follow. He almost hoped they did keep this little game up a while longer. Tire themselves out, running from place to place like frightened rabbits dashing from burrow to burrow, but Kevin could out-wait them. He was patient.

The assassin closed his eyes, drinking in a deep breath of earth air, sniffing for the faintest whiff of miracle. They had been busy in this city. Residue of miracles were everywhere, most faint from the passing of time, none that caught his attention in any real way. Kevin slid his fingers over his blade, imagining it slicing the fragile, delicate skin of an angel. And then, perhaps, filleting a snake, piece by piece, feeling the coils undulate in agony beneath his crushing hand.

Oh it was going to be sensational.

A ping caught his attention, the slightest, faintest ring of some vile, celestial power.

Kevin smiled, pointed teeth nearly piercing his own lower lip.

At last. He had known that hapless pigeon could not resist working miracles forever.

Time to carve up an angel.

o.O.o

Aziraphale was still slumped over Crowley, panting and sweating from expended effort, when the floor beside him began to crumble. The assassin came up too fast and the angel was already too spent from exertion; running was out of the question. Instead, Aziraphale clutched Crowley's motionless body and weakly tried to scoot away.

"No," he managed to whisper through a throat thick with emotion. "Leave now, you… foul fiend-" Aziraphale's voice broke and more tears slid down his cheeks.

The demon assassin prowled a circle around them, smile widening.

"What is this?" Kevin asked in a thickly accented voice, extending his dagger and brushing some of Aziraphale's curls aside, making the angel shudder. "So much blood for such little demon. Discorporated, then?" A shadow crossed his face. "Already back in Hell, then. Snake was mine to bring in."

"Yes, I hope you're pleased," Aziraphale couldn't help but spit out. Antagonizing an assassin might not be smart work, but the angel no longer cared. "He's gone. This is your fault, demon! Now you have no trophy to bring back to your boss Hastur-"

"Hasturrrr is not boss of me," Kevin purred with a definite edge in his voice. His smile widened but his eyes never left the angel, intense stare boring into his very heart. "And if tiny pigeon imagines that snake was only one I was tasked to find…" The assassin knelt in front of the angel, free hand shooting out to grab him by the jaw and squeeze mercilessly. "Think again. It is both they wanted. Snake might already be in Hell, but bringing them pigeon will be pleasure enough."

Aziraphale wrenched himself free and cradled Crowley's body closer to him. The tears blurred his vision, seeing only the foggy movement of Kevin's hand as the assassin raised his dagger to scrape the point down the angel's cheek, following the tear tracks.

"Did pigeon…" the assassin started, then chortled. "Did pigeon try to heal him? Was that miracle I felt? Oh, this is better than I had imagined. Foolish, desperate, sad little pigeon. Angel cannot heal demon, all of Heaven and Hell know this. I am so… delighted at attempt, though."

Aziraphale shuddered again, breath catching as Kevin rose to his feet and slid his fingers into the angel's hair. The grip was painful and only got tighter until the angel felt himself wrenched backwards away from Crowley. He cried out, raising his hands to try to push Kevin away while scrambling to keep moving with him to relieve the pressure. The assassin purred again then threw Aziraphale away from him. Folding over himself, Aziraphale peeked around Kevin to Crowley's still motionless body then lowered his head in defeat.

"So disappointing," the assassin sighed. "I had hoped angel would be more worthy prey. Shame to have fun end so soon."

"Then by all means, have your fun," Aziraphale growled, looking up at the demon at last. "Escaping Hell will be no good at all. Escaping you, however, will be child's play. I must confess, when Crowley called me with his warning, I was expecting a truly fearsome demon, not…" He gestured at Kevin and smirked. "Well, I mean, this."

The assassin's eyes narrowed, lighting with fire. He slashed out with the dagger, scoring a deep gash across Aziraphale's cheek as a low growl began to build up in his chest. Aziraphale tried to hold back a cry of pain, but the blade was cursed—of course it was cursed. Where it split his skin, fiery tongues of pain flared up like nothing he had ever felt before.

"Pigeon thinks he will escape me?" Kevin purred, even more darkness in his voice now so that it brought its own undercurrent of cold. "Pigeon thinks he can run? Not, I think, if I break legs."

Aziraphale's eyes widened and he immediately tried to crawl away, making it as far as the vault door before Kevin grabbed him by the nape of the neck and slammed his head into the heavy door. The angel gasped, seeing stars, uselessly trying to slap the assassin's hands away as he was rolled over onto his back.

"I imagine Hastur only orders you up here to hunt because everyone knows you'd be quite useless as a torturer in Hell," he choked out, watching Kevin's face.

The assassin's eyes flared again with fury and then he stomped with what must have been every ounce of his demonic strength right down on Aziraphale's knee.

The angel couldn't stop the scream as bone shattered, trying to clutch his leg only to have Kevin stomp down hard on his wrist to pin it to the floor, leaning over him.

"Hasturrrr does not give orders!" the demon snarled. He swiped down with his blade, scoring another gash on Aziraphale's chest. Again, the angel screamed as the cursed blade worked its dreadful magic. "Pigeon thinks any demon in Hell better at torture than me? I think not. I think demonstration necessary."

Aziraphale swung his free fist towards Kevin's face, but the demon caught his wrist easily and slammed it to the floor as well so that both limbs were trapped. Kevin knelt nearly on top of him, humming as he clenched the handle of his dagger and punched Aziraphale so hard that his skull cracked the floor beneath them. Aziraphale groaned, panting with pain.

"I've had worse from my barber nicking me shaving," he rasped recklessly.

"What is 'barber?'" Kevin snarled, punching him again. Aziraphale felt his nose break. "Pigeon will learn respect… pigeon will learn fear. And then, if I feel merciful, maybe I give pigeon to Hasturrrr. But maybe not. Maybe I decide to stay here for while, teaching pigeon all ways I can deliver pain." He slammed the point of the cursed dagger into the meaty part of Aziraphale's shoulder and twisted. Over the angel's screams, the assassin murmured, "Maybe I never release pigeon at all. Maybe Hasturrr can come himself. Maybe I kill him if he tries to take my new little toy. What does pigeon think? Not so insolent now, mm? First I will cut out tongue, see what smart remarks pigeon can make then. Next I use pretty dagger and peel skin off pigeon's pretty face."

Aziraphale's panting breath came quicker and more frantically as the assassin leaned over him until they were nose to nose. He sobbed as the dagger was ripped back out of his shoulder and the bloody tip dragged down his cheek over the cut that had already been made. It burned like no fire could burn, leaving him to helplessly buck and writhe under the demon's relentless grip.

Suddenly, Kevin straightened up and released the angel's wrists, straddling him so Aziraphale still couldn't go anywhere. He set the dagger down on the ground, both hands free to start undoing Aziraphale's bow tie. "Pigeon will hold still," he hissed. "I bind pigeon tight, then we go to pigeon's home. Hold out wrists."

Aziraphale swallowed. "No."

"I said, hold out wrists." He pulled the tie free and nodded to Aziraphale's arms. "Angel cannot escape, but maybe if my pigeon does as told, suffering will be less, yes?"

Tilting his chin up as much as he could, Aziraphale smiled. "Angel cannot escape?" he repeated. "Hmm. Angel also can't heal demon, right?"

Kevin frowned. "What?"

Aziraphale leaned up off the floor towards him. "I find it ever so tiresome, being told what I can't do. Incidentally, snake is behind you."

The assassin whirled, but not before Crowley snatched the cursed dagger off the ground and plunged it hilt-deep into Kevin's heart. Kevin shrieked as his chest began to glow with fire.

"He'ssss not your pigeon," Crowley hissed, snake-eyes nearly glowing in the hellish light of the dying demon. "Let'sss sssssee you come back from thissss one, assssasssssin."

The shrieking grew louder as the fire grew brighter. Then Crowley threw Kevin off of Aziraphale just in time for the assassin to burst into an inferno of Hellfire and crumble to dust that was absolutely, positively dead.